Basically, I'm trying to make sense of the fact that my mom seems to take the efforts I make to be proactive in my life as a favour to her.
For example, if I mention that I'm trying to change my diet for the better and that its working, she comes across in a well meaning way but it gives me this aftertaste like "that wasn't what I was going for when I told her," and I feel more depressed and confused than anything after sharing it. Mainly, what I tend to be looking for is encouragement, but she talks about the subject in a tone like its a relief for her more than its a step for me. I don't want to say this, but it's gives the impression, true or not, that she doesn't care about my future. That wouldn't grind me so much if it wasn't that she seems to accept her behaviour as being fine.
Honestly at this point I would rather have a mother badgering me about why I'm not living life to her standards, at least I would have an opponent of sorts to bounce my feelings off.
It's a difficult thing to work out when thinking about it. My mom and I have an unhealthy relationship because I feel she has a low self-esteem and fails to put me in my place most times. In fact, my siblings and I have often had to help her cope in tough situations. Any time she does try to be strict, its in an out-of-control fashion, rather than being a show of authority.
Does anyone know what I'm talking about and if so, what was your experience and how did you manage it.
Thank you and, at any rate, it feels better to have written this...