EPTAlcohol+me=shitstorm
Now let me explain , i don't drink to often , but that's because i am to afraid i might end in the god damn same "shitstorm" i end up in ,every time i drink!
I suppose a couple of examples are required for me to write so you will understand what am i talking about , so here it goes. It all began with my very first time drinking alcohol , i was 18 which is the legit age to start drinking alcohol , though most people around these parts start drinking it at the age of 15 , i was an exception i guess.
A friend , who i met a year ago , invited me to his birthday party , i believe he was 19.I am not sure why did he decide to celebrate his birthday behind a factory in a dark alley , perhaps his parents at home, did not agree with him drinking alcohol , that is the only explanation i can come up with since i never asked him ,but its not really that i cared at that time.Ok , now to the alcohol , the guy bought enough of it for 10 people, and we were only 4!
There was plenty of stuff to choose from , beer , vodka , wine and something called Borovnička , i have no idea how you call that in English but it has 40% of pure alcohol in it , and the funny thing was , i didn't know that!
So i was like " FUCK YEEH , ITS OOOOOON".I drank 8 glasses of it in the next 15min , and i was like "I DONT FEEL SHIT".At first my friends didn't notice how much i drank , than when it was to late, they asked me "Hey , how much did you drink?" and i said "8 glasses of this" and than there was a short pause and the guy who was celebrating his birthday told me "That stuff is going to hit you like a hammer in the back , in the next 30min" I looked at him aaahhh i doubt it , i can take it ( of course i was wrong).
Like he told me , 30min in i was fucked...Everything was spinning and i was ready to throw up , i decided to sit down. 5min later i fell asleep and for the next 4 hours i don't remember anything. My friend told me, the next day that they took me home ,after 2 hours since i feel asleep at the party.He carried me to bed and he told me that i kept saying to him "thank you , thank you , thank you...".Now in the middle of the night i got the urge to go to the bathroom , so i stood up with my eyes closed walked to the door , opened it and went down the hallway , turned on the light switch for the bathroom , opened the door to the bathroom and than took a piss and than went back to my bed. AT LEAST I THOUGHT SO!
In the morning my father stands there at my closet and yelling at me "WHY THE FUCK DID YOU PISS IN YOUR OWN CLOSET!!"
There was nothing else left for me to do than do this:
![[image loading]](http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_AYB6K3Zp5kE/S7X8WuzzNiI/AAAAAAAABT0/cA1XL2RAzIo/s1600/facepalm+%281%29.jpg)
But , this is nothing compared to the second time i was at a party , which will have to wait until tomorrow because i am running out of time. Will continue tomorrow!
edit 1
I am back and ready to write my next story.Before i start , i would like to tell you , that i live in a village , that is surrounded by forests.If you take the wrong direction , you would take about 5-6 hours to get to the next town/village.
Now the reason i tell you this will soon enough be clear.
Since my first time drinking alcohol, its been about 2 months, until i drank again ,at parties. Now in my village, there is a private pub , where its open only on weekends, and that's when the parties happen.Nobody was celebrating anything on that day , they just decided to get drunk and i joined in , since most of the people from my village , joined in as well.
We decided to have a tequila night. We were having tequila boom and tequila , lemon , salt.After my first party , i realised ,i need to take it slow on the drinking From 22:00 to 24:00 i drank a few glasses of tequila.I was doing ok , but for some reason everything got out of hand past middnight.
At that time i realized i wasn't that drunk ,everyone in the pub was very heavy under the influence of alcohol and was having a blast , laughing , singing , dancing.I did not feel drunk enough to do all of that, so i...ummm went behind the bar table and took a bottle of tequila , sat behind a table and started drinking it quickly.Dont know how much i drank out of that bottle anymore , but i know it was more than half for sure.Now when you sit down , you don't feel that drunk ,as you would be standing. (that was the case for me that night at least) as i was about 30min of drinking that bottle i was wondering why i am not that drunk still , should of hit me like a truck already , well i decided to stand up and everything started spinning around my head , it was getting very hot, so i had to take off my jacket and i felt so PUMPED up to do something , but i had no clue what should i do ,so i just started to dance like a total idiot.
15min in of pure ape on crack dancing it was getting even hotter so i decided to go to the sink and shower my head.After that i had a discussion with my friend about camels and drugs (please don't ask me why). and than....nothing TOTAL BLACKOUT.
Now this is where it gets scary.You know the feeling when your sleeping ,but you are aware of it?Well that happened to me , i thought i was at home in my sweet bed but wait , why is it so damn freezing cold? and why the hell does my matrace feel like a bunch of rocks.I woke up and i was looking around myself so much i thought my eyes would fall out , i did not believe it.I was in the fucking forest in my UNDERWEAR !For a minute i thought somebody kidnaped me and was ready to rape me but nobody else showed up for the next 10minutes and i was still confused as hell, as to what happened.
Want to know what was the first thing i did?That's right , i took a shit.After a few minutes passed i looked around myself and i realized that i never been in these parts of the forest.Took me 2 hours ,just to find the right direction in which i need to get to get to my village and than another 4 to get actually back home.I NEVER want to do this again.Sneaking around the houses , in my village in just underwear was not pleasant either.Finally got to my house , i was taking the stairs up when my father opened the door and looked at me for a second and said "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT? AND WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES? Did you leave me this note on the table?
I took a look at the note and i obviously could not read jack shit from it.
The same day , my friend comes over and tells me, that before i left the pub i told everyone i wanted to go hunt deer , with my bare hands.Another guy supposedly went with me but i have no idea, when he went his own way, because he had a black out ,as well.
![[image loading]](http://www.tarzan.org/comics/dell030.jpg)
. Piss in the closet isn't all that bad haha.
