Hello TLers. Thanks for clicking this blog and hopefully reading it. I want to apologize for every grammar error that might happen in this text. Also, the text is going to be huge.
So here I am (I am sixteen, this might be important). I recently got to a new school (known as very good one in my city, yadda yadda I was always a good pupil, besides interrupting some classes with loud chatter from time to time...) met new people, met some old people. I have 9 guys including me in my class and 23 girls, 32 people total. It will be hard to understand the Polish school system and it will take too much space to explain it, so I will skip it and say something related: This is not where I wanted to be.
I basically have more history, culture, english and polish lessons. There's a joke going around that people after classes like that will be unemployed for a long time (because of final tests revolving around doing advanced polish/culture and then basically studying nothing important/needed) Don't get me wrong, I love english and history classes. I hadn't any culture classes yet, but I am more about "meh" in this. About polish... I don't feel like I am a good writer, so let me go please. I am a lot more interested in doing something like math, maybe science, chemistry isn't bad, geography can be quite amazing...
There are some good things about my class though. I get to learn Latin (1 hour per week, by hour I mean 45 minutes) and I could choose French out of German and French. The math-science-english class needs to learn German for an example, but classes like math-science-chemistry can choose French too. Math-Geography can learn French too. The trick is it is hard to change the class You want attend to. Every is full. 32 people in one class at that stage of education is quite huge number. In my first school, in which I was for six years we had 24 people. In the second I had.. 28 or 29 I believe. Now I have 32. Basically they had A LOT of people wanting to learn in that school.
But I am here. I got into that school, people are quite cool and stuff. Take this as a success. So yeah, I've never been a bad student. I've learnt things easily and could talk about them for pretty long time. I am a lazy guy. Like, lazy lazy. I can sit in front of PC for entire dang day long doing nothing BUT F5'ing damn TL Mafia forums. No working out, no going out. I feel like crap because of that.
I am not fat, I am not unattractive (I think), though I am skinny and, pretty much crazy. Sometimes I am brave as heck, but sometimes I just go full shy and refuse to do easy things like talking to someone about something. At this point You've probably guesses I don't have a girlfriend. But this is not important in this blog. I will talk more about problems with people overall than with women. Some problems I've identified can be solved by doing something else than being a lazy moron, doing couple of pushups or any other activity is not that hard. Working on habits, learning more and things like that can be done by just.. doing it. But people.. man, this thing is hard.
I am ABSOLUTELY backward when it comes to relations with people. Things I talk about people are mostly shallow (besides couple of my friends who play with me, talking with them is A LOT easier because we know each other for some time and can talk about games and the usual guy stuff or just random things) or I don't talk at all. In my second school the easiest way to describe me is: Friend of all, best of none.
ENTIRE school knew me. That's all. I've never had close friends I guess. Maybe when I was attending to the first school as a young boy around 9-13.. Really. I have no one to talk to just for the sake of talking. I also find talking hard. Mostly because I've always lived double life: The real one and the gamer/internet one. I'd say many people I've met over Internet know me better than people I say "Hi" from Monday to Friday.
This is TERRIBLE. Maybe it would've been better if they lived in the same city as me or at least close but.. I even lost contact pretty much with them too. Besides couple of them. I just don't know what to do. I am feeling down. I've been feeling like that for couple of months now. When I was coming to the second school I learnt how to suppress the feelings I had. I felt nothing for the most of the time. The drawback was I could've love something or hate something. Basically three moods. "Yay!" "Meh" "Nay!" I must say I avoided people. I did not want to hang out. I was extremely shy. I don't want to step into someone's group or life with "Hi, could I hang out with You?" It sounds extremely dumb and harsh. I just want to live. Like a normal teenager. Like a normal person. No, I don't want to smoke. No, I don't want to drink alcohol like normal Polish person. Maybe I want to have sex. I don't know. This sucks. Mostly because I do. Lazy bastard that I am, the coward who is bipolar, undecided and scared of people and himself. Now I will watch some DH Valencia and listen to commentary.. or some sad music. In meantime I will F5 Blog section.
Because I am lazy and dumb for doing that. And why the hell I am chewing this -- mom toke that small plastic tube! Oh well. I will play with plastic part of my chair I've taken.
EDIT: Sad people don't think about enters. Yeah sorry about that.
Come on man, the enter button. Use it to separate text.
Hello TLers. Thanks for clicking this blog and hopefully reading it. I want to apologize for every grammar error that might happen in this text. Also, the text is going to be huge.
So here I am (I am sixteen, this might be important). I recently got to a new school (known as very good one in my city, yadda yadda I was always a good pupil, besides interrupting some classes with loud chatter from time to time...) met new people, met some old people. I have 9 guys including me in my class and 23 girls, 32 people total. It will be hard to understand the Polish school system and it will take too much space to explain it, so I will skip it and say something related: This is not where I wanted to be.
I basically have more history, culture, english and polish lessons. There's a joke going around that people after classes like that will be unemployed for a long time (because of final tests revolving around doing advanced polish/culture and then basically studying nothing important/needed) Don't get me wrong, I love english and history classes. I hadn't any culture classes yet, but I am more about "meh" in this. About polish... I don't feel like I am a good writer, so let me go please. I am a lot more interested in doing something like math, maybe science, chemistry isn't bad, geography can be quite amazing...
There are some good things about my class though. I get to learn Latin (1 hour per week, by hour I mean 45 minutes) and I could choose French out of German and French. The math-science-english class needs to learn German for an example, but classes like math-science-chemistry can choose French too. Math-Geography can learn French too. The trick is it is hard to change the class You want attend to. Every is full. 32 people in one class at that stage of education is quite huge number. In my first school, in which I was for six years we had 24 people. In the second I had.. 28 or 29 I believe. Now I have 32. Basically they had A LOT of people wanting to learn in that school.
But I am here. I got into that school, people are quite cool and stuff. Take this as a success. So yeah, I've never been a bad student. I've learnt things easily and could talk about them for pretty long time. I am a lazy guy. Like, lazy lazy. I can sit in front of PC for entire dang day long doing nothing BUT F5'ing damn TL Mafia forums. No working out, no going out. I feel like crap because of that.
I am not fat, I am not unattractive (I think), though I am skinny and, pretty much crazy. Sometimes I am brave as heck, but sometimes I just go full shy and refuse to do easy things like talking to someone about something. At this point You've probably guesses I don't have a girlfriend. But this is not important in this blog. I will talk more about problems with people overall than with women. Some problems I've identified can be solved by doing something else than being a lazy moron, doing couple of pushups or any other activity is not that hard. Working on habits, learning more and things like that can be done by just.. doing it. But people.. man, this thing is hard.
I am ABSOLUTELY backward when it comes to relations with people. Things I talk about people are mostly shallow (besides couple of my friends who play with me, talking with them is A LOT easier because we know each other for some time and can talk about games and the usual guy stuff or just random things) or I don't talk at all. In my second school the easiest way to describe me is: Friend of all, best of none.
ENTIRE school knew me. That's all. I've never had close friends I guess. Maybe when I was attending to the first school as a young boy around 9-13.. Really. I have no one to talk to just for the sake of talking. I also find talking hard. Mostly because I've always lived double life: The real one and the gamer/internet one. I'd say many people I've met over Internet know me better than people I say "Hi" from Monday to Friday.
This is TERRIBLE. Maybe it would've been better if they lived in the same city as me or at least close but.. I even lost contact pretty much with them too. Besides couple of them. I just don't know what to do. I am feeling down. I've been feeling like that for couple of months now. When I was coming to the second school I learnt how to suppress the feelings I had. I felt nothing for the most of the time. The drawback was I could've love something or hate something. Basically three moods. "Yay!" "Meh" "Nay!" I must say I avoided people. I did not want to hang out. I was extremely shy. I don't want to step into someone's group or life with "Hi, could I hang out with You?" It sounds extremely dumb and harsh. I just want to live. Like a normal teenager. Like a normal person. No, I don't want to smoke. No, I don't want to drink alcohol like normal Polish person. Maybe I want to have sex. I don't know. This sucks. Mostly because I do. Lazy bastard that I am, the coward who is bipolar, undecided and scared of people and himself. Now I will watch some DH Valencia and listen to commentary.. or some sad music. In meantime I will F5 Blog section.
Because I am lazy and dumb for doing that. And why the hell I am chewing this -- mom toke that small plastic tube! Oh well. I will play with plastic part of my chair I've taken.
If you want advice you should put more effort in making your case. Paragraphs, spelling, rewriting. These are areas you need to work on so that you come across as a young man - not a child.
That's the evolution that's occurring here - life is beginning to ask things from you. Your friends are becoming selective and demanding. So is school. So are girls. Gone are the days when you got served your education and now is the time when you need to open your eyes and learn from the world by yourself. You will fail. We all have. We all do. The measurement of your manhood is how often you pick yourself up and try again. This requires work from you and support from the people around you. If one is lacking - it can't work.
Hey, you sound like a cool, intelligent guy. I'm 100% sure you will find your way, just follow your passion and do what you think is right. Like you said, you're only 16, you'll see that as you get older a lot of the issues you (think) you have now will eventually resolves themselves.
So reading this I couldn't really figure out what you were trying to get at. But from my guesstimations here it goes.
On the whole friends department you are fine. If you want to be more friendly with people try to get out of your comfort zone and talk to them. You are in school still so it should be easy enough. You should try and ask yourself if the cost of putting yourself in a possible awkward position is worse then the benefit you can gain from talking to someone you don't know very well. (most of the time i think they benefits outway the costs. Plus even if it doesn't turn out well you can still take experience from it)..oh and instead of just going up to them and being "hey can I hang out with you" just talk to them, maybe they are in one of the same classes as you so talk about that class as an opener.
I am not sure about the whole European school system, but if you want to take some math and science classes apply for them. Maybe there is some counselor you can talk to?
Long story short. If you want to change something in your life you have to be proactive and make it happen.
But good luck and try to have fun.I know changing schools can be really hard especially when you had a good base at your old school.
Man, I've been in a similar spot at the start of High School - very few friends and ass made of lead when it comes to sit in front of computer screen. Hopefully, last two years have been a big, big change for me - got girlfriend, got a bunch of great friends, got a pretty nice, normal life.
The receipt for success in changing your situation just damn short and clear - JUST DO SOMETHING. Don't sit and whine about how bad you feel, but think what you can do to change it - and make that change. No social life - try to find every opportunity to hang out with people etc. etc. Nobody's gonna do it for you ^^
Hang in there little buddy. This is something that some people have to learn, kinda like differential calculus and driving a car, some people have a natural talent for it and some people need to learn it in whichever way they can.
I hope you'll find the strength to quit TL Mafia cold turkey right now, 'cause your trolling was getting on my nerves a bit.
Also, I thought this didn't happen to cool guys? Well, I guess I was wrong ...
Well you admit to being a nerd/gamer so why not join a club for it? Not sure if high schools over there have them but universities/colleges definitely do. So go hang with like-minded people :D
Firstly, don't be concerned about being in this or that class. When you will take matura exam everything evolves around what do you want to study. Figure it out, then pick the exams accordingly. You can easily learn ANY advanced subject in your third year if you commit, and if you get an extra classes outside school it's even easier. Hell if it's not advanced exam you can learn stuff like basic biology in a month (I did).
From what I'am reading about your social experience it's similar to mine when I was in middle school, although I had gamer friends, after school I spent most of my time at PC. Tip: force yourself not to use PC, you will do other things instead naturally.
After classes ask your classmates to hang out wherever. Doesn't matter if they are not your close friends, spending time with people is more than enough. Establishing real friendship is a long process that lives it's own life. You can't wake up one day and decide "today I will make a friend".
Most of all. You are 16, just enjoy yourself, experience little things.
Reduce time in front of PC, explore the world of other hobbies, through them meet new people.
PS: Befriend girls not guys, you will get more as a person from them. (that is if your classmates are drunk fucks, which they seem to be)
Whoa, I was reading this and it reminded me of myself. 1. I'm 15 2. I go to a good school where a lot of people want to go, smallish class of 22. 3. My class, 7 boys, 16 girls 4. I take similar classes, notably I study Latin as well. 5. I am by no means popular, I hang out with a small group of the "non popular" people b/c I don't play sports. 6. I'm not ugly either but never really had a girl interested in me b/c im shy and have a "nerd" connotation. 7. I don't really care about the alcohol or drug or sex culture, everyone else jokes about it and pretends that it's super "cool".
Often I do find myself roaming TL.net for a while when I'm supposed to be doing school, but in the end I guess I can force myself to study and get the work done. At school everyone things I'm an overachiever but I just pretty much study what I need to, then sit on the couch and watch or play SC2 while eating some junk food and drinking coke.
Main point is I just force myself with the threat of losing my image of "super smart" to do my work before I get on internet, I usually do the work pretty fast and then internet my night away.
Last year was pretty rough, I didn't have a single friend over the entire year and didn't get invited to more than 2 things and only b/c they were 'class parties". This year I guess I've been trying to get closer and even shown a few of them SC2, its a lot funner to play with people you know. Anyways I guess I was just interested by this because of its similarities to myself and I wish you the best of luck.
I'll give you some of the best advice I can. Up until the age of about 16 I was really isolated, way more than you are. There are a few things you should know, to begin with.
First off, hate it or love it, you're still going through puberty. What that means is you've got a lot of change ahead of you. You're not sure of who you are now, or who you want to be. No shit, your body is rushed full of hormones and you're going to go through changes. You should be focusing on who you WANT to be and working towards that sort of personality. I don't mean change who you are, I mean accentuate it. Take everything you like about yourself and work on making it better.
You sound smart, you've got that going for you, and that means you can always learn, develop and change. Don't stress too much about the present. You've got a lot of time ahead of you. Take it slow. Don't get into anything you don't want to get into. Take care of yourself and your body, when you're a few years older you'll wish you started sooner.
Remember, you being intelligent is the best possible thing you can have. I have plenty of stupid friends, and it makes me sad because they're too...thick...to see the light, see that they can change and have decent lives. In your case, you do well in school, you can learn, that means that you can always, always, always get better.
So to reiterate, what you should be doing is working on yourself and the rest will come. Take care of yourself, risk going out and being humiliated if only to learn how to socialize, work towards bringing out YOUR personality and you'll do fine. I hope that helps.
On September 18 2011 06:15 KWik-E wrote: I am not sure about the whole European school system, but if you want to take some math and science classes apply for them. Maybe there is some counselor you can talk to?
Well, my class is going to prepare me for advanced polish, advanced history, advanced culture(I mean knowledge) and advanced english. I'd prefer advanced math, advanced science/chemistry/geography to be honest. @prplhz I am not playing Mafia at the moment. I am hosting my game though. So You know, You can come back..
Thanks a lot guys. I just lack that confidence to go and change my life. Guess I need to stop sitting in front of PC that much. Parents being right again, oh boy! I used to be a lot smarter. Now I just forget everything and re-learn things. This is stupid. Advice of people who go through/went through same things is always the best thing to solve Your own problems. Thanks a lot guys, again! Will chat, there and there, mostly try to cheer myself up and have fun in some way!
You sound like a smart guy who just hasn't busted out yet. High School was a pretty transformative experience for me and I hope it will be for you, too, since you seem to have so many parts of yourself that you'd like to change. I hope it all works out for you.
I think with this sort of thing you have to find your own way, so I won't say much more. Just try as hard as you can to be confident in yourself: you can't expect others to like you if you can't like you. Best wishes.
Take up sport man, preferably team sport. Any sport will do. It builds mateship, experiences, is fun and an outlet for your frustrations. It will make you feel better mentally and physically.
I recommend something like indoor soccer or handball because the games dont go for too long, you arnt required to train and they are much more social. Play a few games with people and you have something in common. You can start worrying about other conversation later on
EPT
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