I just moved in on Friday to my new dorm. I got pretty fucked over with picking rooms and got assigned to a triple person one bedroom suite. It's pretty nice and has two floors, a living room/kitchen and BR downstairs and a spacious bedroom upstairs. Last year as a sophomore I enjoyed a single room and had a pretty good relationship with all my suitemates. I felt a single was a prudent choice considering I had a gf and liked the privacy. Freshman year was all about me getting cockblocked whenever my girlfriend came to visit and creating an awkward situation with my roomate in our shared bedroom. Anyway I don't mind the triple that much, my girlfriend transfered to a school much closer to me and we see each other often so we don't have to get down to it every visit like we used to.
One of my roomates is pretty chill doesn't say much, not bad. The other one has an outgoing personality and seemed really cool when I first met him. I knew at least I wasn't going to be rooming with a psycho or someone like that. So I moved my stuff in on Friday but went home for the weekend to attend a wedding. The outgoing one was planning on having a party on Saturday. No problem I wasn't going to be around anyway. Without really thinking about it I put like 6-7 bottles of water in the fridge to chill them so I could drink them later. When I came back today, they were gone, all the empty bottles laying around the apartment with a lot of other plastic cups.
I missed the other thing. When I got back, the upstairs (bedroom) was dark and I was going to go up there to setup my PC. I hear my outgoing roomate call my name and he said he had his girlfriend up there. So I stopped halfway up the stairs in a pretty awkward situation. Clearly they were fucking and I had walked in. I asked him to let me know when I could come up. All he said is why do you have to come up? And it sounded like he owned the bedroom. I was getting a little pissed and shot back, because my computer and all my shit is up there. He gave me a "fine hold on", but I just told him whatever and left. I didn't feel like going further into an awkward situation and told him to let me know when he'd be done. I replayed all the other times that I had been walked in on with my gf, either by my roomate or hers. Both of us being people who respected others rights to be in the room they paid for, we would just ask for a minute get dressed and go somewhere, not wanting to create more tension or make people pissed they were getting sexiled. I just wouldn't do that to someone.
Later at night he moved the matress from the upper bedroom down to the common area so he could get privacy with his girl, where my dresser and closet is (for some odd reason). Basically my clothes are down there. And the genius just put the mattress smack in front of my closet and dresser, when he couldve moved it around to the apartment somwhere less obstructive. They were asleep, but I had to get some clothes and I wasn't just gonna sleep in the shit I wore so I asked them if I could get to my closet. He just put his cover on his head and I had to maneuver around the mattress awkwardly to get my shit.
I went upstairs and wanted to play a couple of games of SC. I have a DAS with blue switches, it's fairly loud but no one ever complained before. I know it's a little loud so I didn't even spam or warm up. 10 minutes into the match he comes upstairs to tell me it's too loud and asked me to shut my game off for the night. He said something along the lines of I moved my bed downstairs for you already please let me just get some sleep. Like wtf? Moved the mattress for me? Obvious rightious bullshit right there, but I just said fuck it and quit out and switched to my Macbook.
What should I do? This guy and his friends take my drinks without asking, sexile me from the bedroom, moves his bed in front of my closet, and then has the nerve to tell me to stop playing when his bed is DOWNSTAIRS? FYI all the residencies at the university are full, and no one I've contacted wants to do a switch into this location because it's not too close to the rest of campus (nor does anyone want a 3 person bedroom). I can probably put in a request on basis of some irreconcilable differences or something like that, but I just moved all my stuff here and got settled. Thanks for reading I appreciate any advice.
It sounds like you're fucked and it sounds like you established "rules" without saying anything. It's easy to break expectations when they're not verbalized. Have you verbalized them because from what you wrote, it sounds like you avoided confrontation on several occasions (Macbook switch and leaving without going upstairs).
Confrontation is your friend and make sure to show that you are an equal person. He inconveniences you and you inconvenience him at all?
I guess I really cannot assume things that are common sense to me are common sense to other people. Do college age people need to be held by the hand to learn what is the meaning of courtesy and respect? I think I'm learning a cold lesson and forced to reevaluate how I deal with people. The simple fact is that this hasn't happened to be previously so I'm in new grounds. Next time something happens I'm going to say what's on my mind. If ground rules are needed then so be it.
Believe it or not, not everyone was raised as mannerly or courteous to you. That's not sarcasm, but a strong likelihood. It's similar to the assumption that everyone knows how precious a dollar is or how hard you have to work for it.
Not all values are inherent or taught.
The easiest way to be disappointed is to assume and expect things from others without considering the fact that they're not always possible or likely. This sounds like some Aaron Beck shit, but anyways...
Confrontation. Gotta do what you gotta do. Good for you being quick to realize or learn :3
Try to talk to him and explain (rationally and calmly) why the stuff he does is inappropriate and discuss possible solutions to avoid this in the future (sectioning off portions of the fridge, telling him that you are definitely not fine with him sharing / eating your food / drinks, discussing plans to alert people whenever possible sex is going down, and giving fair warning so that you are able to get stuff out)
If he's a hardass who doesn't listen to calm and reasonable discussion and for some reason thinks it's ok to not make compromises in a shared living situation, make a big fuss to your RA or your housing dean or whatever and they'll transfer you. Just do not escalate it further with your roommate no matter how wrong you think he is if the discussion thing doesn't work out.
I prefer the term "a settling" rather than confrontation. It isn't that you want to get into his face about some water. What you want to do is sit him down (with the other guy too), explain how important it is for everyone to get along so you can enjoy your year, and then go over the rules that will help make that good year happen. Who knows, maybe this guy comes from a place where everyone just shared the fridge. Maybe you are doing something that drives him batshit, you don't know until you talk.
Write down what you think is important for co-existence, have him do the same, come to an agreement, and tip a beer together at the end. Put up a list of rules on the fridge. The end.
And, probably in the future, you two will but heads again. But if you have a history of talking it out, rather than one of avoidance and tension, it will be that much easier to solve. If he does it repeatedly, then you have to find a different route.
Be firm and understanding of his needs and point of views. He wants to maintain his relationship. (sound familiar to what your relationship was before?)
Dear Mr. j0k3r, this sounds like a truly tricky situation you have gotten yourself into! But fret not, I have a solution at hand;I think that you should settle this issue through challenging him to a duel by throwing down the gauntlet.
I have looked up the rules for you. Each of you must select a trusted representative who should discuss together an appropriate and neutral place to fight the duel, as well as the weapons with which to be fought. Now, the challenged party can choose whether to fight till first blood, till one party is severely wounded, or till the death. However, given the self-centered nature of your roommate as evidenced from your story, it is likely that he would be afraid of serious injury to himself and choose the first choice. If he refuses the challenge, then he would be dishonoured and his girlfriend would probably leave him, thereby resolving the problem for you.
On September 05 2011 15:57 Torte de Lini wrote: Woo his women and take your place as alpha-male. It's the only way, to ensure this: start wearing his clothes and obtain his scent.
You sir, are a scary man. "Obtain his scent." That's some Hannibal shit right there...
On the other hand, it might actually work
Thank the lord almighty that I have awesome housemates. Two girls, one if which is my bedfellow. *Basks in the glow of his brag*
To the OP, you are going to have to lay down the law, or as Torte suggested, just lay down with his girl.
On September 05 2011 15:24 Manifesto7 wrote: Write down what you think is important for co-existence, have him do the same, come to an agreement, and tip a beer together at the end. Put up a list of rules on the fridge. The end.
So diplomatic.
(1) You left liquid in the fridge knowing a party was gonna be there. Your fault. Drunk people do not give a fuck and probably assumed it was their host's.
(2) Your roommate was having quality 1-on-1 time with his lady friend. They are either fucking like rabbits 24/7 or you just caught them at a bad time. Assuming it's the latter, give them some privacy -- your computer can wait. Living with roommates means giving individuals their privacy when they need it. Establish a convention for letting one another know when you have women over. Call your roommates ahead of time to find out if it's ok to bring a girl home.
(3) Play your goddamn video games during the day, or respect peoples' right to sleep. If it were anyone else that complained about the noise, you would have apologized.
tldr: stop your bitching, apologize, and lay down some rules for the future. I'm sure your roommate will reimburse you $5-10 worth of water if you apologize for interrupting him.
If you were a sophomore last year, it is time to get the hell out of campus residences. By now you should know how inconvenient they can be. My view on residence is that its best for freshmen who have no clue what the fuck life on their own is like, but other then that it is inferior to off-campus housing by a mile (its a preference of mine backed up by experience).
Not sure how easy it is to find at least a room that's part of a house that you can rent (usually all-inclusive price, around here the average is 400-500/month).
I can't do much to give advice about solving your problem except to run away from it, because that is honestly what I would do, even if I got on good terms with the roommate and established some rules, that sort of living situation would be way too annoying and inconvenient for me, and I grew up living in a shithole of a duplex..
Again i'm not sure how it works in the states, but on campus residence here is usually more expensive (or the same) as finding a nice big room that is part of an off campus house.
It sounds like you're complaining unjustly. Try to think about things from his perspective: 1. Some people drank all the water bottles in the fridge during a party and you hadn't cleaned everything up when your roommate got back 2. Your roommate walked in on you having sex so he could surf the web 3. You stop your sexathon to move the mattress downstairs so he can get on his computer 4. Then the roommate comes back after you've finished and fallen asleep and is now asking you to move again so he can get some clothes from his dresser which is not in the bedroom (wtf?) 5. Now he's keeping you awake with his loud-ass keyboard 6. The roommate then makes a blog calling you a jerkface
You're also complaining about getting a two story dorm room with your own private kitchen and separate bedrooms. So far you have a better deal than I did when I got my apartment, and I was able to freely choose who I lived with.
Anyway, it's not entirely anybody's fault. Take Mani's advice and sit down with both your roommates and get some ground rules worked out now, before something stupid happens.
Lol, man my freshman year we had a small like, 5 foot by 10 foot "study alcove" and i asked my roommates if i can just put my bed and desk in there, it literally took all 10 feet to put the bed and desk there, and the desk+chair combined would max out the 5 foot wide space. I basically had no floor space but it was worth it. I wouldn't have been able to have 3 people in a 1 tiny ass bedroom space.
4 years of boarding high school I always had a small single room, and after freshman year i've always requested to live in the single-room dorm, best decision ever. Now I have a 10x13 bedroom with my own closet in a mini hallway and a shared bathroom with just one person.
As a seemingly older student, why is it that you got such a shitty housing pick, why don't you live with friends or live off campus as another option, seems reasonable enough to me.
Also in my school there are "roommate agreements" that we sign at the first week of the year, where you just discuss basically everything that'll come up. You could have just settled the whole fridge thing early on, your stuff is your stuff.
You sound like more of a problem than he does. You got off on the wrong foot. Follow Manifesto's advice and figure out how to make everything smooth for now and the future.
On September 05 2011 15:22 arb wrote: You should just kick his ass and establish dominance.
He sounds like a real douchebag
Everytime i read these kind of blogs, this is what comes to my mind first.
Seriously this guy sounds like a fucking douchebag who thinks he is the king, sets the rules and doesn't give a shit about others or even need to care.
Try to talk some sense to him and see if that helps. Have you talked/asked the other guy what he thinks about this guy? Has he been a douche to him too?
For some people it's just too hard to live with others it seems. Sad you got such a 'bad' room.
Sounds like you're being a whiney little pussy. You complain about getting cockblocked, then go on to cockblock your roomate back.
The water thing is ridiculous. who needs 7 bottles of water? I didn't realise whales have started blogging. You probably did a good thing, giving drunk people a refreshing bottle of water, maybe even prevented a mess in your room!
I love how everyone is talking about fair as if it's some written rule. Life isn't fair. Try putting yourself at an inconvenience to allow others to enjoy themselves, if they are people you want to keep around, they will do the same thing for you.
Dresser in lounge area, is your own fault. If the fridge was in your room, you would get woken up as well when drunken roomates come home and want something to eat. Seriously, are you fucking daft?
Stealing drinks and crap is not your fault. Tell those people off, and if they continue get revenge. Be creative and have some fun with it.
I've had "outgoing" roommates in the past as well. First impression experts, they tend to out themselves as sociopaths the longer you live together. You know how you looked at the less outgoing-seeming roomie and thought "he's quiet, cool"? Well this type of person looks at the both of you and says "fuck yeah, I can dominate these nerds with my awesome DJ skillz and hawt girlfriend I should establish my power soon".
Don't let it happen. Follow the advice of others above, firmly but respectfully talk with your roommates and lay some ground rules. You might want to talk to the quieter dude first to see if he's getting the same vibe from the other guy that you are (maybe over a beer, not by text or e-mail, would hate for it to get passed around). If this doesn't work, as hard as it might be, you need to assert yourself a bit more.
He's already pegged you as the type who, while complaining a bit, will back down when placed in "awkward" situations. This will only encourage him to make situations awkward often to get his way. Politeness and manners are, sadly, not his first language. He will expect passive-aggressive (feminine/nerd) responses to his "manly" behavior. If this riles The Animal you'd better apply for a transfer.
OK so most people here have addressed the living arrangements issue. I'm going to touch on a further subject.
In every social situation - whether it be humans or other mammals - there is always an alpha and beta.
An alpha gorilla fucks all the female gorillas while the beta gorilla sits by and watches while masturbating. True story.
The only way the beta is ever going to get any sex is to fight the alpha gorilla for it.
If he's such a meathead, then he doesn't deserve her. Show that you don't care what anyone thinks of you. Hit on his girlfriend when she's over to show that you have balls. Disregard anything he says so that you show that you are so above his level you don't even notice his insignificance. Eventually she'll start turning up an hour early and pretend that they arranged to meet at 8pm when really she's just there to fool around with you at 7pm before he gets home at 8pm. Eventually it'll be you two sleeping together and he'll be the bitter and beta loser. Heck, she'll probably end up becoming pregnant to you and he ends up raising the baby. Happens all the time in society.
The only thing you need to be careful about is beta-rage:
The dead man arrived in Auckland as a refugee from Iran in September, 2008, and after one failed attempt, was granted residency. He was also granted a work permit and bought a half share in the Rock Fired Burgers takeaway bar in St Heliers on the Auckland waterfront.
He lived in an apartment in Waterloo Quadrant in inner city Auckland.
The police said Hamid-Zadeh and a woman who has name suppression claimed political asylum when he arrived in New Zealand in September, 2009.
They stayed at the Mangere Refugee Centre where Razani visited them.
However, the woman then moved into Mr Razani's apartment. Mr Razani later invited his killer to also move in but police said Hamid-Zadeh did not know then that the woman was living there.
Mr Razani and the woman returned to the apartment several hours before the killing and had sex before they retired to their separate sleeping areas - Mr Razani to the couch in the lounge and the woman to the bedroom.
Hamid-Zadeh returned soon after 4am and listened to the other two having sex on a recording device he had set up so he could listen to them while he was not there, police said.
He attacked Mr Razani with two knives.
Police said when they arrived two hours later they were met by the woman as she ran to the reception area from the lifts, dripping blood.
"Upon entry to the apartment they were greeted by a scene covered with blood with Mohammad Hamid-Zadeh sitting quietly on the couch where Razani once slept, with an injury to his right hand.
"Police moved into the bedroom where they saw the body of Razani propped up against a heater," said police.
Seriously though, it really sucks to be in your situation and some people don't react to 'logic'. You can try explaining to him how you feel like he is inconveniencing you, but unless he is a Christian it's very unlikely he's been raised with the 'do unto others' values or has any concept of knowing how to put himself in someone else's shoes. That's why you have to play the game on his level. Bully him if you have to (I don't mean physical violence, but psychologically). It's the only language people like him sometimes understand. You have to show that you don't take no shit from anyone. Like a drill instructor. Otherwise he will shit all over you. If he can get away with not offending you while doing one thing, he'll feel the same about something else. Did you ever know the kid at school who you could always rely on to borrow a pen from? Then after that everytime you asked him for a pen, and he didn't want to give you one, you'd be like the fuck? And he'll get scared and be like: "OK, here you go." Don't be the kid with the pen. Be the motherfucker no-one dares to borrow anything off. Because you don't want people to fuck with you anymore.
Yes, we got off on the wrong foot. I appreciate everyone's input so far, thank you for that.
I came back this afternoon to a confrontation. My quiet roomate was sitting on his bed, and the outgoing guy was at his desk. As soon as I came in, the guy asks me, "Do you have anything to say about the situation last night, you know, with my girl?" The attitude was oozing out of him, and I just felt my blood pressure rise right there. I asked him what the hell was he talking about. He said, firstly don't you think you were in the wrong last night wanting to come upstairs? Mind you, I had wanted to come up at first but then didn't want to get into an awkward situation, though as a paying student have ever right to access my bedroom. I told him no, I stayed down there and asked for you to let me know when it was okay to come up. He was apparently really pissed about everything and then began to question why it is that I told him I was going out but came home so early. He said and I quote "You told me you were going out at 5, reasonable people don't say they are going out and come home at 9:30." I told him if I didn't specify what time I was coming home you cannot assume. He ignored that and then interrogated me about why I moved my bed upstairs and told me it didn't "belong" here in the bedroom anyway. I told him I wasn't going to sleep in a kitchen. He had moved my bed today without my knowledge because he said I was hogging the view of the window that he had enjoyed for a week before my moving in. He reiterated how me bed didn't "belong" upstairs in the bedroom. My bed is now right next to his desk... He basically told me I was being selfish and that my quiet roomate was on his side about everything (probably because he is easily manipulatable) and now I feel like I have really bad karma with both of them. He went on to ask why I had to fuck around with my closet and dresser when he had moved his bed downstairs. I had merely turned the kitchen light on and asked to get to my dresser and closet for clothes to go to sleep in, I had no clue he was going to illogically just post up his bed in front of the dresser (which was down there when I moved in and will not fit through the stairs to go up without complete disassembly). He didn't even offer to move the bed so I could get through, instead choosing to maximize his comfort wherever he fucking wanted to by just ignoring me and going back to sleep. He demanded my number so he could tell me when the next time he was having his girl over so I could stay away. I'm sick and fucking tired of this guy. I just got back from an overnight fishing trip to Montauk and want some rest (left 2 am got back 5 pm) but I can't because I'm so angry. Yeah, kind of sucks. We basically didn't resolve shit. I'm planning on talking to my Residence Director right after writing this to ask for my options. I might just go apartment searching and try to petition to cancel housing who knows. I'll keep you all updated. Thanks Mani for the best advice but unfortunately talking to him has just left a more sour taste in my mouth.
On September 06 2011 07:55 j0k3r wrote: Yes, we got off on the wrong foot. I appreciate everyone's input so far, thank you for that.
I came back this afternoon to a confrontation. My quiet roomate was sitting on his bed, and the outgoing guy was at his desk. As soon as I came in, the guy asks me, "Do you have anything to say about the situation last night, you know, with my girl?" The attitude was oozing out of him, and I just felt my blood pressure rise right there. I asked him what the hell was he talking about. He said, firstly don't you think you were in the wrong last night wanting to come upstairs? Mind you, I had wanted to come up at first but then didn't want to get into an awkward situation, though as a paying student have ever right to access my bedroom. I told him no, I stayed down there and asked for you to let me know when it was okay to come up. He was apparently really pissed about everything and then began to question why it is that I told him I was going out but came home so early. He said and I quote "You told me you were going out at 5, reasonable people don't say they are going out and come home at 9:30." I told him if I didn't specify what time I was coming home you cannot assume. He ignored that and then interrogated me about why I moved my bed upstairs and told me it didn't "belong" here in the bedroom anyway. I told him I wasn't going to sleep in a kitchen. He had moved my bed today without my knowledge because he said I was hogging the view of the window that he had enjoyed for a week before my moving in. He reiterated how me bed didn't "belong" upstairs in the bedroom. My bed is now right next to his desk... He basically told me I was being selfish and that my quiet roomate was on his side about everything (probably because he is easily manipulatable) and now I feel like I have really bad karma with both of them. He went on to ask why I had to fuck around with my closet and dresser when he had moved his bed downstairs. I had merely turned the kitchen light on and asked to get to my dresser and closet for clothes to go to sleep in, I had no clue he was going to illogically just post up his bed in front of the dresser (which was down there when I moved in and will not fit through the stairs to go up without complete disassembly). He didn't even offer to move the bed so I could get through, instead choosing to maximize his comfort wherever he fucking wanted to by just ignoring me and going back to sleep. He demanded my number so he could tell me when the next time he was having his girl over so I could stay away. I'm sick and fucking tired of this guy. I just got back from an overnight fishing trip to Montauk and want some rest (left 2 am got back 5 pm) but I can't because I'm so angry. Yeah, kind of sucks. We basically didn't resolve shit. I'm planning on talking to my Residence Director right after writing this to ask for my options. I might just go apartment searching and try to petition to cancel housing who knows. I'll keep you all updated. Thanks Mani for the best advice but unfortunately talking to him has just left a more sour taste in my mouth.
Dude you didn't even try to resolve it :p; you didn't follow Mani's advice at all. From the information you have given, you are overreacting.
On September 06 2011 07:55 j0k3r wrote: Yes, we got off on the wrong foot. I appreciate everyone's input so far, thank you for that.
I came back this afternoon to a confrontation. My quiet roomate was sitting on his bed, and the outgoing guy was at his desk. As soon as I came in, the guy asks me, "Do you have anything to say about the situation last night, you know, with my girl?" The attitude was oozing out of him, and I just felt my blood pressure rise right there. I asked him what the hell was he talking about. He said, firstly don't you think you were in the wrong last night wanting to come upstairs? Mind you, I had wanted to come up at first but then didn't want to get into an awkward situation, though as a paying student have ever right to access my bedroom. I told him no, I stayed down there and asked for you to let me know when it was okay to come up. He was apparently really pissed about everything and then began to question why it is that I told him I was going out but came home so early. He said and I quote "You told me you were going out at 5, reasonable people don't say they are going out and come home at 9:30." I told him if I didn't specify what time I was coming home you cannot assume. He ignored that and then interrogated me about why I moved my bed upstairs and told me it didn't "belong" here in the bedroom anyway. I told him I wasn't going to sleep in a kitchen. He had moved my bed today without my knowledge because he said I was hogging the view of the window that he had enjoyed for a week before my moving in. He reiterated how me bed didn't "belong" upstairs in the bedroom. My bed is now right next to his desk... He basically told me I was being selfish and that my quiet roomate was on his side about everything (probably because he is easily manipulatable) and now I feel like I have really bad karma with both of them. He went on to ask why I had to fuck around with my closet and dresser when he had moved his bed downstairs. I had merely turned the kitchen light on and asked to get to my dresser and closet for clothes to go to sleep in, I had no clue he was going to illogically just post up his bed in front of the dresser (which was down there when I moved in and will not fit through the stairs to go up without complete disassembly). He didn't even offer to move the bed so I could get through, instead choosing to maximize his comfort wherever he fucking wanted to by just ignoring me and going back to sleep. He demanded my number so he could tell me when the next time he was having his girl over so I could stay away. I'm sick and fucking tired of this guy. I just got back from an overnight fishing trip to Montauk and want some rest (left 2 am got back 5 pm) but I can't because I'm so angry. Yeah, kind of sucks. We basically didn't resolve shit. I'm planning on talking to my Residence Director right after writing this to ask for my options. I might just go apartment searching and try to petition to cancel housing who knows. I'll keep you all updated. Thanks Mani for the best advice but unfortunately talking to him has just left a more sour taste in my mouth.
Dude you didn't even try to resolve it :p; you didn't follow Mani's advice at all. From the information you have given, you are overreacting.
Things were really heated. I just talked to my other roommate and he has problems with the guy taking his drinks too. I don't know if I can deal with the aggressive personality. We can establish rules and everything, we did today, but I can't change who he is or how he talks to people, and it's just something I don't want to deal with in the future. I don't like being talked down to, not being allowed to give my point of view, being told where I should be, where my stuff should be, and when I should be somewhere. It's just not how I want to live at all.
Only dickish thing I interpreted here was your second bit, when he said you shouldn't have come back so "early" and then said you shouldn't sleep in the bedroom. The rest of that shit is an overreaction on your part.
On September 05 2011 16:03 EvilTeletubby wrote: This makes me so glad that I will (hopefully) never have roomates (or even rent) again.
In all seriousness, what Mani/Shake said.
So very true. I had roommates in dorms for 2 years and I said never again. Going on 5 years in single apartments and I couldn't go back. I didn't have an annoying experience like the OP because it was always single rooms but 2 or 3 rooms per apartment when I was in the dorms... still felt like I had no privacy.
To be frank, even in a single apartment, I constantly hear my neighbors and vice versa (although I'm about as quiet as possible because I like silence) so it's never optimal, but at least the douchebags live across the hall, not in the same room.
Don't have much advice for you since I've never been in such an annoying situation. Worst I had was a roommate using my toothpaste and the RA using his key to sneak into my room for "pranks" (won't go into details but we didn't get along. He got kicked out of the dorms so I won I guess). But never someone stealing my personal space.
I'm also not really happy with my apartment either this year. Moved from Montreal to Moncton and the owner of the building said there were very few students and it was quiet. Was great for the first 2 weeks of august but then the students started coming in and so far every single night since has been relatively annoying with doors banging left and right from 1-4am and people screaming in the parking lot. I feel a bit better when I read stuff like the OP though and when I remind myself of what it was to live in Montreal (paper thin walls) where I needed earplugs 24/7 to not go insane. So far, I've managed without earplugs but the weekends have been a pain.
I can't wait to have my own house. I will be that crazy old fuck with the shotgun for sure. And I will love it.
On September 06 2011 09:52 DystopiaX wrote: Only dickish thing I interpreted here was your second bit, when he said you shouldn't have come back so "early" and then said you shouldn't sleep in the bedroom. The rest of that shit is an overreaction on your part.
I hope you're kidding? I would've hit that guy so hard if he talked to me like the OP is describing (assuming it's a correct transcription).
On September 06 2011 09:52 DystopiaX wrote: Only dickish thing I interpreted here was your second bit, when he said you shouldn't have come back so "early" and then said you shouldn't sleep in the bedroom. The rest of that shit is an overreaction on your part.
I hope you're kidding? I would've hit that guy so hard if he talked to me like the OP is describing (assuming it's a correct transcription).
Yeah, in the second post I referred to. The first post seemed mostly fine- there's a party and you expect the dude to guard your bottles of water? You expect to be able to get in a room where the dude is clearly having sex? You complain earlier that that used to happen to you? You wake up your roommate to get clothes? All seem kind of unreasonable.
On September 06 2011 09:52 DystopiaX wrote: Only dickish thing I interpreted here was your second bit, when he said you shouldn't have come back so "early" and then said you shouldn't sleep in the bedroom. The rest of that shit is an overreaction on your part.
I hope you're kidding? I would've hit that guy so hard if he talked to me like the OP is describing (assuming it's a correct transcription).
Yeah, in the second post I referred to. The first post seemed mostly fine- there's a party and you expect the dude to guard your bottles of water? You expect to be able to get in a room where the dude is clearly having sex? You complain earlier that that used to happen to you? You wake up your roommate to get clothes? All seem kind of unreasonable.
You steal someone's property? You lock him out of his room? You put your bed in front of your roommate's dresser?
3 guys in one room can work almost seamlessly in my experience, and both of my roommates were the outgoing confident types as well.
It sounds like you are the problem. He fucking moved his bed downstairs so that you could have your room, and you're still complaining about some dresser shit? It sounds like he tried to accomodate you AFTER you tried to cockblock him. Learn to deal bro, it'll help. Maybe ask him if he can bang his chick at her house or set up some ground rules instead of just fucking getting angry.
What's up with the "I payed for my room I should be able to use it" attitude? He payed for the same room, and how would you feel if you were fucking some chick and your roommate goes "yo let me in I wanna use my computer".
Oh, and a Das with blue switches is fucking loud.
tl;dr: make sure he understands you and you understand him, none of this "I thought you knew" bullshit.
We resolved this shit a couple of hours ago. Both just agreed to a fresh start and more communication now that we have numbers. Sorry no more drama folks. I realized from responses you can look at it two ways, I looked at it his way and just decided to drop all of it, no more grudges. Dunno if he sees things my way at all but it doesn't matter, as long as we can be civil, more transparent and communicate like human beings that's all I can ask for. Not gonna feed trolls either.
On September 06 2011 09:52 DystopiaX wrote: Only dickish thing I interpreted here was your second bit, when he said you shouldn't have come back so "early" and then said you shouldn't sleep in the bedroom. The rest of that shit is an overreaction on your part.
I hope you're kidding? I would've hit that guy so hard if he talked to me like the OP is describing (assuming it's a correct transcription).
Yeah, in the second post I referred to. The first post seemed mostly fine- there's a party and you expect the dude to guard your bottles of water? You expect to be able to get in a room where the dude is clearly having sex? You complain earlier that that used to happen to you? You wake up your roommate to get clothes? All seem kind of unreasonable.
You steal someone's property? You lock him out of his room? You put your bed in front of your roommate's dresser?
Pretty easy to put it the other way around too.
Except that way is pretty silly. He's looking at it in context, you're not. You can make anything look ridiculous out of context.
Anyway dunno what to say @OP, the whole thing seems like a misalignment of expectations, nothing a 5 minute chat wouldn't fix. Which apparently it has. Enjoy your year
On September 06 2011 09:52 DystopiaX wrote: Only dickish thing I interpreted here was your second bit, when he said you shouldn't have come back so "early" and then said you shouldn't sleep in the bedroom. The rest of that shit is an overreaction on your part.
I hope you're kidding? I would've hit that guy so hard if he talked to me like the OP is describing (assuming it's a correct transcription).
Yeah, in the second post I referred to. The first post seemed mostly fine- there's a party and you expect the dude to guard your bottles of water? You expect to be able to get in a room where the dude is clearly having sex? You complain earlier that that used to happen to you? You wake up your roommate to get clothes? All seem kind of unreasonable.
You steal someone's property? You lock him out of his room? You put your bed in front of your roommate's dresser?
Pretty easy to put it the other way around too.
Except that way is pretty silly. He's looking at it in context, you're not. You can make anything look ridiculous out of context.
Anyway dunno what to say @OP, the whole thing seems like a misalignment of expectations, nothing a 5 minute chat wouldn't fix. Which apparently it has. Enjoy your year
From the situation, I'd say that it is beyond just a 5-minute chat now. Some people just can't be reasoned with. No matter how hard you try, they just don't seem to think logically. Sucks to meet those people. Good luck with the rooming thing man, hope you at least get transferred or something.
EPT
