I'll give you some back story. I've been seeing this girl for about a month now, and I'm trying to get her into Starcraft. I took her to an MSL finals party, but she got drunk and only wanted to make out and not watch the game. AWKWARD. So that night ends, and I was completely expecting a call saying "uhm don't call me ever again, I don't want to see another nerd ever again in my life." Instead, I get "Wow, that was so fun! Starcraft is awesome, lets go to another TL party this weekend, I ordered a shirt!" Whatever, she's a weirdo alright.
So fast forward to last night. I invited her over to my house, but I'm living with my parents for the summer so we would have to micro around their time tables if we were to get anything done. So the time schedule was like this in my head, 1. watch Alien, 2. play starcraft for an hour or 2 (until 12pm), 3. hook up until like 3am. That way, we could be innocent until my parents went to sleep at like 1130ish, then we could have fun. K, sounds like a solid build order, lets see how good it is in execution.
I went to go pick her up because I'm a total gentleman, standard, and she's of course raging about how much she hates her family blah blah newbie stuffs. In my head I'm like pshh your family? Try dealing with a 2 rax rush from a GM terran, nerd. So we get back to my house, and my parents embaress themselves as usual. Standard. Anyways, we get to watching Alien, and she's all cocky being like oh my god this movie isn't scary at all, it's so old. Needless to say, the first time the grown alien showed up she was literally shaking. Typical 18 year old girl. So Endymion, what do you do when a girl is scared you might ask.
You scare her some more obviously, just make sure you know when the scary parts of the movie are. For instance, the next "scary scene" of Alien is when the captain turns around and is suddenly there. Thats when you hiss really loudly and stab the girl in the stomach with your hand. Priceless. She got so scared that she got on top of me and started kissing me, I mean c'mon, she didn't want to get scared anymore. Then the door to my basement opens, and I literally throw her off of me onto the couch. My Mom walks down, and my GF is face down ass up on the couch, lol. "Come upstairs Endymion, I need to talk to you."
So I go upstairs with her, leaving the girl in the basement. "You guys are only going to be playing Starcraft tonight, right?" "Of course..." "I had better not come downstairs and find you two in bed together!" "kk cool story" (then don't come down stairs......) So my mom goes to bed, and I go back downstairs. We resume where we left off, and things get a little more heated so I'm like kk gurl time to go to my bedroom. So we get into my room, and I had apparently left Catz's stream on from earlier.. "OMG Starcraft! I wanna watch!" I instantly turned it off, sorry Catz, I won't have you cock block me again! So fast forward a few minutes, both of us are now naked in a sea of sheets. We start exchanging hickies like standard bronze leaguers, then she starts going down on me.
5 minutes pass, I'm thinking about how Savior was definitely a better zerg tactician than Jaedong is. Then I think wtf am I doing, I'm getting head and I'm thinking about Saviors ZvT... So I get up and I'm like it's ok, don't worry about it, so she kinda pouts and is like "was I even close?" I just laugh and kiss her, consoling her lack of experience. So I start returning the favor with my right hand, and she is going crazy. Like CRAZY, think a zergling in an SCV line crazy. She was shaking, moaning, spazing, I was just like wtf are you doing. So then I'm like "you know I'm using my mouse hand, my keyboard hand has like 330 apm you know..." She giggles and makes fun of me for "being a huge nerd," but then I actually use my left hand and she just like dies. You know what they say about a broodwar player's fingers girls? It's completely true... So eventually I feel like I'm playing a BO5 below her waist so I stop, seeing a huge smile on her face. This isn't the GSL hun, chill out.
So we just lie there talking and caressing for another few minutes, and we get to talking about how Ret bought that girl a ticket to the Netherlands, and then the GSL finals.
Then the door to my room opens, with an angry hydralisk in the hallway. IE my mom. "PLAYING STARCRAFT HUH?!?!" Slams the door shut, and I bolt out of the bed to collect my clothes to go confront her. Dealing with my mom is like dealing with a rush, the more time you spend preparing the worse off you are. So to the girl I'm like "brb, get dressed nerd," then I rush out the door.
"NOT IN MY HOUSE ENDYMION, HOW DARE YOU!!"
"Mom, I'm 19 and we weren't even doing anything."
"Don't you lie to me Endymion! I know what you were doing!"
"Mom I swear we weren't, I swear on my Iccup account we were just talking!"
"You can lie to ANYONE else, not me! Take her home."
t.t, I walk back to my room. She is sitting there giggling on my computer, trying to guess my password on SC2.. As if nothing had happened. W/e. She looks at me, then starts full on laughing, I'm like "what are you laughing about.."
"Look at your neck Endymion.." I turn around and look at my mirror, I have HUGE blood red hickies on my neck. DOUBLE T.T...
I take her home, and she texts me "best night ever? I think so <3"
Fuck my life, seriously.. And today, my mom is like "you should invite her over for dinner some time." People are so stupid, I swear..