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Domestic abuse is a serious issue. Traditionally people think of women in these situations but it can definitely happen to a man!
Anyone being abused needs to hear this:
No one deserves to be treated that way! You are a person who should feel dignity and respect from others. Any relationship you are in should make you feel loved, safe, and better as a person because of it.
If you are in a bad physical situation, get out immediately. It can sometimes be hard to leave a person you have been with, no matter how badly they treat you. A good way to make sure you have support in not going back is to gather evidence (pictures, etc.), and take it to the police, as well as your family/friends. It is a crime to break someone's fingers/beat them. Pursuing charges is the right thing to do, not only for yourself, but so that hopefully no one else who encounters this woman ever goes through the same things you have gone through.
If your family/friends aren't supportive, or won't listen to you, don't give up. Keep talking until you find someone who will listen. Get help from a therapist. Moving on from an abusive relationship is incredibly difficult for anyone, even with all the love and support in the world from their family and friends.
If you are afraid to leave because of fear of retribution or financial reasons, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1−800−799−SAFE(7233) to get advice and council about the many options available to you. Another good resource are area churches and community centers that may be able to find you temporary shelter with a kind family while you establish a new life.
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On June 17 2011 00:32 TimmyMac wrote:Show nested quote +On June 17 2011 00:25 legaton wrote:As a side note, broken fingers? What the fuck? Go to the police. This. That shit's not funny.
Go to the police. This isn't funny and saying grow a pair isn't cute. Abuse is abuse and she is hurting you. Go to the police. We support you!
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Northern Ireland2557 Posts
On June 17 2011 01:04 RedJustice wrote:
Domestic abuse is a serious issue. Traditionally people think of women in these situations but it can definitely happen to a man!
Anyone being abused needs to hear this:
No one deserves to be treated that way! You are a person who should feel dignity and respect from others. Any relationship you are in should make you feel loved, safe, and better as a person because of it.
If you are in a bad physical situation, get out immediately. It can sometimes be hard to leave a person you have been with, no matter how badly they treat you. A good way to make sure you have support in not going back is to gather evidence (pictures, etc.), and take it to the police, as well as your family/friends. It is a crime to break someone's fingers/beat them. Pursuing charges is the right thing to do, not only for yourself, but so that hopefully no one else who encounters this woman ever goes through the same things you have gone through.
If your family/friends aren't supportive, or won't listen to you, don't give up. Keep talking until you find someone who will listen. Get help from a therapist. Moving on from an abusive relationship is incredibly difficult for anyone, even with all the love and support in the world from their family and friends.
If you are afraid to leave because of fear of retribution or financial reasons, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1−800−799−SAFE(7233) to get advice and council about the many options available to you. Another good resource are area churches and community centers that may be able to find you temporary shelter with a kind family while you establish a new life.
Good post, listen to this guy
Also quite frankly I find it pathetic that people come in here and say "man up pussy LOLOL" because a man is being domestically abused
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I don't know the full picture, but I feel fairly confident in saying that the rest of your life problems stem from your girlfriend. You shouldn't let someone this close to you be such a destructive influence; like everyone said, please get out of the relationship.
Also, why do you go back?
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thanks to everyone (even the grow a pair crowd) for the advice...i know it seems painfully obvious what should happen and i guess even i don't understand why it is so hard to just leave.
kinda brings tears to my eyes knowing that i really dont have a choice because i guess i always hoped it would change. it won't and ive known that for a long time.
the good times with this girl have in fact been some of the best in my life and that i suppose is what ive been holding on to
thanks again
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Unfortunately the situation is not going to change. The best thing you can do is leave as soon as possible and get the help and support you need to move on. (It will be hard!)
Let us know how you are doing. There are plenty of people here willing to offer encouragement. 
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Not to be rude, but doesn't it sound ridiculous: Hey police! My girlfriend beat me.
Since when women are stronger than men unless she's into fighting / enormous?
I apologise beforehand, I just don't get it.
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On June 17 2011 01:28 smacky wrote:
thanks to everyone (even the grow a pair crowd) for the advice...i know it seems painfully obvious what should happen and i guess even i don't understand why it is so hard to just leave.
kinda brings tears to my eyes knowing that i really dont have a choice because i guess i always hoped it would change. it won't and ive known that for a long time.
the good times with this girl have in fact been some of the best in my life and that i suppose is what ive been holding on to
thanks again
It's always hard, but remember it will get better.
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Get some self respect and trow her out >.>
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On June 17 2011 01:28 smacky wrote:
thanks to everyone (even the grow a pair crowd) for the advice...i know it seems painfully obvious what should happen and i guess even i don't understand why it is so hard to just leave.
kinda brings tears to my eyes knowing that i really dont have a choice because i guess i always hoped it would change. it won't and ive known that for a long time.
the good times with this girl have in fact been some of the best in my life and that i suppose is what ive been holding on to
thanks again
If those were the best of your life. Imagine when you find a nice girl that you can share your life with. Without living in fear. You can always have better, and you deserve better.
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Looks like your relationship is NOT working out man... and also, I reflect the opinion of everybody else in this thread when they tell you to press charges against this mad woman for the stuff she is doing to you ( if a man broke a womans fingers then there would be hell on in the press ). Your alpha, move on and go get some ass somewhere else. gl hf
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Dude, your hands have been broken, you have been assaulted etc. Why are you with her? I am beating on the same reason as others I know, but it really is disgusting. Break up with her at the very least. Calling the police is your choice imo, although its going to be hard to make them believe that you were assaulted by a girl.
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On June 17 2011 01:35 darkness wrote:
Not to be rude, but doesn't it sound ridiculous: Hey police! My girlfriend beat me.
Since when women are stronger than men unless she's into fighting / enormous?
I apologise beforehand, I just don't get it.
Some women take advantage of some guy's moral code not to hit a woman. The woman feels empowered, while the guy suffers physical and mental duress.
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I'd honestly have one last furious anal sex with her, and then tell her to fuck off. And of course, I would be penetrating.
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On June 17 2011 01:28 smacky wrote:
thanks to everyone (even the grow a pair crowd) for the advice...i know it seems painfully obvious what should happen and i guess even i don't understand why it is so hard to just leave.
kinda brings tears to my eyes knowing that i really dont have a choice because i guess i always hoped it would change. it won't and ive known that for a long time.
the good times with this girl have in fact been some of the best in my life and that i suppose is what ive been holding on to
thanks again
Don't hold onto what was or even for the chance of little blips of happiness in between all of the abuse.
It might feel a bit lonely at first, but then you feel relieved, not having to worry about your every decision being critiqued and not having to feel constantly tense from worry. Trust me, you deserve better than her.
Tell me if you're in the Seattle area sometime, we can grab a beer and chat.
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you dont hate your life. you hate your girlfriend. and from how it sounds for good reason. drop the bitch and move on. do what you love.
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Was in a similar relationship when I was younger and didn't know better. You have to get the fuck out as soon as possible. It will seem hard at first but tell her you are done and just spend a lot of time with friends and family to recover.
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On June 17 2011 01:28 smacky wrote:
thanks to everyone (even the grow a pair crowd) for the advice...i know it seems painfully obvious what should happen and i guess even i don't understand why it is so hard to just leave.
kinda brings tears to my eyes knowing that i really dont have a choice because i guess i always hoped it would change. it won't and ive known that for a long time.
the good times with this girl have in fact been some of the best in my life and that i suppose is what ive been holding on to
thanks again
I was going to say stop being a tool and grow a pair but it seems alot of people have given you this same advice. It may be hard to believe a crowd of people united by starcraft but people are right in this situation. This isn't healthy for you and you should do something to fix it.
There are good times and there are bad times but the post you made sound like you are having the shit kicked out of you daily. A relationship should not be physically abusive or abusive in general.
In this situation I would get the hell out of that house and if it's your house then kick her out. Don't hold onto the good times it will just make the decision harder and definitely do not look back it will be better that way.
Is your relationship with this girl worth the physical damage that your body has taken? Is it worth the mental abusive of her constant screaming? There are plenty of fish in the sea!
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Stockholm4640 Posts
On June 17 2011 01:37 Madoga wrote:
Get some self respect and trow her out >.>
Is this what you would tell a woman if she was the one being subjected to domestic violence?
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lol @ all the fuckwits in this thread just saying, wtf man, just kick her out
its like everyone's pretending the effects of psychological abuse are imaginary or something. the OP has been fucked up good and proper, and if he was looking out for his well-being obviously he'd have dumped the scrag a long time ago.
but he hasn't and he's not sure about it, partially due to the abuse and maybe his feelings for his missus.
OP: you need to sit down, probably in your bedroom, alone, and just think back about the last few months. is it worth continuing on? how much do you really want this abuse in your life?
if the answer to the last two is no, just remember the moment when you came to that decision. you'll need to recall it when you eventually decide to cut her loose; i imagine it'll be very difficult.
wp on making the first step to ask for help. now its time to take the second. best of luck.
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