EPT
I hate my life and I am unable to make a decision
| Blogs > smacky |
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smacky
United States108 Posts
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Treemonkeys
United States2082 Posts
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Grettin
42381 Posts
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legaton
France1763 Posts
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ComaDose
Canada10357 Posts
Its not worth it and you will be happier eventually. | ||
SigmaoctanusIV
United States3313 Posts
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ch33psh33p
7650 Posts
Unless you're 40 or older, in which case you may want to consult a psychologist. | ||
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TimmyMac
Canada499 Posts
On June 17 2011 00:25 legaton wrote:As a side note, broken fingers? What the fuck? Go to the police. This. That shit's not funny. | ||
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Vinski
505 Posts
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Djzapz
Canada10681 Posts
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Treemonkeys
United States2082 Posts
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bibbaly
98 Posts
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VIB
Brazil3567 Posts
On June 17 2011 00:18 smacky wrote: What? Are those supposed to be bad? Most people would be envious of you? My girlfriend doesn't beat me up for starters my girlfriend is physically and mentally abusive. I have had black eyes, broken fingers, she kicked both of my knees after surgery (a year a part) and routinely hits slaps punches and torments in play. I don't like it. i feel like i'm leaving most of it out tbh and thats kinda sad.  | ||
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Bitters
Canada303 Posts
Take control of the situation, and then you can start taking back control of your life. | ||
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Maliris
Northern Ireland2557 Posts
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Dub_doubt
United States86 Posts
Such bs.It's hard to leave someone when you're living together too. I live in AZ but I am from VA so I don't have family I can move in with, my friends don't need roommates, and getting another place would be too expensive, so I'm stuck. | ||
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Archas
United States6531 Posts
I honestly don't know why you ask, when the solution is so terribly obvious. | ||
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Dub_doubt
United States86 Posts
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States44548 Posts
And if she keeps harrassing you afterwards, call the police. | ||
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antilyon
Brazil2546 Posts
On June 17 2011 00:52 Maliris wrote: This is domestic abuse... call the police. This. If you are have shame on calling the police because you are a man, then well, be a man, grow some balls and kick her out of your life. | ||
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RedJustice
United States1004 Posts
Anyone being abused needs to hear this: No one deserves to be treated that way! You are a person who should feel dignity and respect from others. Any relationship you are in should make you feel loved, safe, and better as a person because of it. If you are in a bad physical situation, get out immediately. It can sometimes be hard to leave a person you have been with, no matter how badly they treat you. A good way to make sure you have support in not going back is to gather evidence (pictures, etc.), and take it to the police, as well as your family/friends. It is a crime to break someone's fingers/beat them. Pursuing charges is the right thing to do, not only for yourself, but so that hopefully no one else who encounters this woman ever goes through the same things you have gone through. If your family/friends aren't supportive, or won't listen to you, don't give up. Keep talking until you find someone who will listen. Get help from a therapist. Moving on from an abusive relationship is incredibly difficult for anyone, even with all the love and support in the world from their family and friends. If you are afraid to leave because of fear of retribution or financial reasons, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1−800−799−SAFE(7233) to get advice and council about the many options available to you. Another good resource are area churches and community centers that may be able to find you temporary shelter with a kind family while you establish a new life. | ||
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Probe1
United States17920 Posts
Go to the police. This isn't funny and saying grow a pair isn't cute. Abuse is abuse and she is hurting you. Go to the police. We support you! | ||
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Maliris
Northern Ireland2557 Posts
On June 17 2011 01:04 RedJustice wrote: Domestic abuse is a serious issue. Traditionally people think of women in these situations but it can definitely happen to a man! Anyone being abused needs to hear this: No one deserves to be treated that way! You are a person who should feel dignity and respect from others. Any relationship you are in should make you feel loved, safe, and better as a person because of it. If you are in a bad physical situation, get out immediately. It can sometimes be hard to leave a person you have been with, no matter how badly they treat you. A good way to make sure you have support in not going back is to gather evidence (pictures, etc.), and take it to the police, as well as your family/friends. It is a crime to break someone's fingers/beat them. Pursuing charges is the right thing to do, not only for yourself, but so that hopefully no one else who encounters this woman ever goes through the same things you have gone through. If your family/friends aren't supportive, or won't listen to you, don't give up. Keep talking until you find someone who will listen. Get help from a therapist. Moving on from an abusive relationship is incredibly difficult for anyone, even with all the love and support in the world from their family and friends. If you are afraid to leave because of fear of retribution or financial reasons, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1−800−799−SAFE(7233) to get advice and council about the many options available to you. Another good resource are area churches and community centers that may be able to find you temporary shelter with a kind family while you establish a new life. Good post, listen to this guy Also quite frankly I find it pathetic that people come in here and say "man up pussy LOLOL" because a man is being domestically abused | ||
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jellyfish
United States149 Posts
Also, why do you go back? | ||
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smacky
United States108 Posts
kinda brings tears to my eyes knowing that i really dont have a choice because i guess i always hoped it would change. it won't and ive known that for a long time. the good times with this girl have in fact been some of the best in my life and that i suppose is what ive been holding on to thanks again | ||
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RedJustice
United States1004 Posts
Let us know how you are doing. There are plenty of people here willing to offer encouragement.  | ||
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Shield
Bulgaria4824 Posts
Since when women are stronger than men unless she's into fighting / enormous? I apologise beforehand, I just don't get it. | ||
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Crais
Canada2136 Posts
On June 17 2011 01:28 smacky wrote: thanks to everyone (even the grow a pair crowd) for the advice...i know it seems painfully obvious what should happen and i guess even i don't understand why it is so hard to just leave. kinda brings tears to my eyes knowing that i really dont have a choice because i guess i always hoped it would change. it won't and ive known that for a long time. the good times with this girl have in fact been some of the best in my life and that i suppose is what ive been holding on to thanks again It's always hard, but remember it will get better. | ||
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Madoga
Netherlands471 Posts
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SigmaoctanusIV
United States3313 Posts
On June 17 2011 01:28 smacky wrote: thanks to everyone (even the grow a pair crowd) for the advice...i know it seems painfully obvious what should happen and i guess even i don't understand why it is so hard to just leave. kinda brings tears to my eyes knowing that i really dont have a choice because i guess i always hoped it would change. it won't and ive known that for a long time. the good times with this girl have in fact been some of the best in my life and that i suppose is what ive been holding on to thanks again If those were the best of your life. Imagine when you find a nice girl that you can share your life with. Without living in fear. You can always have better, and you deserve better. | ||
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Geordie
United Kingdom653 Posts
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Ayush_SCtoss
India3050 Posts
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Bibdy
United States3481 Posts
On June 17 2011 01:35 darkness wrote: Not to be rude, but doesn't it sound ridiculous: Hey police! My girlfriend beat me. Since when women are stronger than men unless she's into fighting / enormous? I apologise beforehand, I just don't get it. Some women take advantage of some guy's moral code not to hit a woman. The woman feels empowered, while the guy suffers physical and mental duress. | ||
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agarangu
Chile274 Posts
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Riku
United States1064 Posts
On June 17 2011 01:28 smacky wrote: thanks to everyone (even the grow a pair crowd) for the advice...i know it seems painfully obvious what should happen and i guess even i don't understand why it is so hard to just leave. kinda brings tears to my eyes knowing that i really dont have a choice because i guess i always hoped it would change. it won't and ive known that for a long time. the good times with this girl have in fact been some of the best in my life and that i suppose is what ive been holding on to thanks again Don't hold onto what was or even for the chance of little blips of happiness in between all of the abuse. It might feel a bit lonely at first, but then you feel relieved, not having to worry about your every decision being critiqued and not having to feel constantly tense from worry. Trust me, you deserve better than her. Tell me if you're in the Seattle area sometime, we can grab a beer and chat. | ||
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Sporadic44
United States533 Posts
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CptnObvious
United States54 Posts
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te3l
Canada126 Posts
On June 17 2011 01:28 smacky wrote: thanks to everyone (even the grow a pair crowd) for the advice...i know it seems painfully obvious what should happen and i guess even i don't understand why it is so hard to just leave. kinda brings tears to my eyes knowing that i really dont have a choice because i guess i always hoped it would change. it won't and ive known that for a long time. the good times with this girl have in fact been some of the best in my life and that i suppose is what ive been holding on to thanks again I was going to say stop being a tool and grow a pair but it seems alot of people have given you this same advice. It may be hard to believe a crowd of people united by starcraft but people are right in this situation. This isn't healthy for you and you should do something to fix it. There are good times and there are bad times but the post you made sound like you are having the shit kicked out of you daily. A relationship should not be physically abusive or abusive in general. In this situation I would get the hell out of that house and if it's your house then kick her out. Don't hold onto the good times it will just make the decision harder and definitely do not look back it will be better that way. Is your relationship with this girl worth the physical damage that your body has taken? Is it worth the mental abusive of her constant screaming? There are plenty of fish in the sea! | ||
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Hittegods
Stockholm4641 Posts
On June 17 2011 01:37 Madoga wrote: Get some self respect and trow her out >.> Is this what you would tell a woman if she was the one being subjected to domestic violence? | ||
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k!llua
Australia895 Posts
its like everyone's pretending the effects of psychological abuse are imaginary or something. the OP has been fucked up good and proper, and if he was looking out for his well-being obviously he'd have dumped the scrag a long time ago. but he hasn't and he's not sure about it, partially due to the abuse and maybe his feelings for his missus. OP: you need to sit down, probably in your bedroom, alone, and just think back about the last few months. is it worth continuing on? how much do you really want this abuse in your life? if the answer to the last two is no, just remember the moment when you came to that decision. you'll need to recall it when you eventually decide to cut her loose; i imagine it'll be very difficult. wp on making the first step to ask for help. now its time to take the second. best of luck. | ||
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Souljah
United States423 Posts
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igotmyown
United States4291 Posts
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Stratos
Czech Republic6104 Posts
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Treemonkeys
United States2082 Posts
On June 17 2011 00:54 Dub_doubt wrote: Wow I read this and it struck a cord with me. My gf is pretty much the same way except she only gets physically abusive when she drinks but mentally abusive all day everyday. She tries to put my down on everything you mentioned, job, school, my hobbies, my friends. I called the cops once when she started hitting me because I tried ignoring it and she just kept on doing it. Then when I called the police she tried throwing my PS3 and headset in the sink. When the police got there they almost arrested me because they said I must of done something that I wasn't telling them to make her upset. She didn't even get anything for doing it and police gave me a warning? Such bs.It's hard to leave someone when you're living together too. I live in AZ but I am from VA so I don't have family I can move in with, my friends don't need roommates, and getting another place would be too expensive, so I'm stuck. No, this. The police should not be used lightly, if it is at all possible, just get her the fuck out of your life and never look back. There is nothing to gain from using the police if you are able to get away from her without them, and PLENTY to potentially lose. Notice most people suggesting to use them are not from the USA. Different police. | ||
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obesechicken13
United States10467 Posts
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SpoR
United States1542 Posts
Sex Cons: Everything else Make a decision | ||
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Diks
Belgium1880 Posts
I've been with a girl for 4 years, broke up with her one month ago. I've suffered a lot of mental abuses but I never noticed. The thing is that I always blamed myself for everything that happened wrong. It's very difficult to say "the person i love the most is hurting me on purpose". My mind couldn't even conceive it. I followed her in her country and I also suffered from the fact that i had no support around me. Now I have to move on, but you know what bro ? I'm glad. I can move on and do my life without having to feel bad about it. I used to have a bad esteem of myself, but it's slowly getting better. Hang on, man. This episode of your live will make you stronger, you will never get caught twice in this situation again. Think about how the future is gonna improve when you'll leave her. | ||
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QooQ
United States96 Posts
Evaluate yourself, what are all the good things about you. Don't even bother considering negatives as they equate to nothing. If your a good man with morals, patience, intelligence, compassion and care, etc.. Then you're very well a candidate for an amazing girlfriend and future wife. She is not her. You had no gain in that relationship, so leaving it also means no loss. It is her loss that she will be losing a valuable man in her life because of her stupidity. Let that be her cross to bear, not yours. The past never equals the present. Think of all the people you know in your life that has changed, whether good or bad. Living a fantasy in your head of what you want your relationship to be is just that. A fantasy. Reality overrules that fantasy. There are many women out there who will treat you like the king you deserve to be, who will cater to your needs and just the thought of making you happy will satisfy them. That is your future wife. Not someone who blatantly disrespects you with no shame. I'm saying this because I feel for you. I have not been in a physically abusive relationship, but I have broken up with a girlfriend of a few years whom I loved more than anything but did not appreciate me. She would also talk down on my career path, about my character and my flaws, would constantly get nasty attitudes with me for no real reason, constantly do things to intentionally get me mad etc. Eventually I had enough of it and I dumped her. And then even so, a few months after that I was already trying to take her back, but suddenly she felt as if she were too good for me. Then every now and then I would move on and she would finally tell me how she missed me so much etc. Of course, until I show interest again and she changes her mind. I think she was on a power trip or something... After about a year of beating myself up over leaving her, I finally realized what I just told you. You deserve better. | ||
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Svartstol
Sweden171 Posts
"Don't hit women its wrong qq" THIS IS NOT A WOMAN, IT'S A FUCKING MONSTER. It's easy for me to sit here typing that you should hit back when I'm not in your position obviously but what's holding you back? The woman has broken your fingers and messed up your knees and your life, why are you taking that shit? If you go to jail at least you will get away from her.. I'm so tired of this taboo of hitting back.. Dude, act now before you fucking kills you! If for some reason you don't want to get back at her, rig some cameras up and record everything. Then go to the police and send her sorry ass to jail. | ||
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