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TL Tech Support Forum Hall of Shame

Blogs > JingleHell
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JingleHell
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States11308 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-16 17:53:00
June 11 2011 21:01 GMT
#1
Tech Support Hall of Shame

Please don't submit legitimate questions. These awards aren't for people who need help with something, but for the people who definitely didn't manage to help.

And for the record, I PMed a mod before opening this, so if you find something you said here, and don't like it, maybe you should have thought before you posted it.

This is an effort to congratulate people for providing unintentional comedic value to the Tech Support Subforum. Feel free to post your own favorite moments as well. (I'm sure you lovely smartasses will dredge up every time I've had to retract a statement made there...)

Obviously, nobody is perfect, but sometimes people should really shake the magic 8 ball a little harder before trying to help people. Some of this stuff is pure genius, and makes me giggle every time.

I learn at least as much as I help, courtesy of articles and discussion, but some of the notions that people cling tenaciously to are ridiculous, and some of this stuff is so insanely wrong it almost seems like malice instead of ignorance...

Here's a few of my favorite gems.

Read the OP Next Time Category
+ Show Spoiler +

As a solution to scareware:
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=228239&currentpage=2#22
try to update drivers! if not, just clean all unnecesary files from youre hdd, or reinstall (reinstall is the last option) ofcours you may need to buy a new hdd, cause these kinfs of slowdowns are happening cause of HDD or drivers, sometimes it maybe something like a soundcard, or overheating!
change the thermo paste on youre CPU, cause it might be overheating! its called autothrottling, you can disable that, just google it, but it maybe risky!


For a GPU for a person not worried about high graphics, on a low resolution:
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=232663#7
Not quite as terrible, but really?
I would go for the 460/560/560Ti, depending on how much u are willing to spend


http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=233153#8
Your GFX is very bad for videogaming. Consider getting a new one. Also, 3 Gb RAM is a little low. Also, Win7 is much more ressource efficient than Vista. Switching to 7 would probably help too!

Too bad he has 32bit? And was asking about streaming?

http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=233192#7
it could be really likely that your video card isn't on he right hertz my brother had something similar before

Even if he could open Catalyst, I think anyone who has a decoder ring that works on this advice would already have fixed the actual problem.

Here's a guy suggesting an SSD to someone who wants a higher quality stream...
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=233811#3
SSD, will give your computer a very noticable speed increase. It wont up your fps but you will notice yoru systm gets alot snappier



Pure Facepalm
+ Show Spoiler +

About RAM:
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=229655#14
it may be overpriced, but it has better heatsink then the cheaper ones!


Follow up to that, same poster, when told the heatsink and higher clock aren't going to be a significant increase in performance for most users...

yeah, youre a man who talks though he knows nothing, you say that clocks mean nothing ha? if you have a ram with 400mhz or 800mhz which will run faster? 800!
and rams go to high temperatures! so you need good cooling for it, especially if hes doing video editing, cause rendering really brings the heat up!
and actually i would tell him to get AMD cause its cheaper and better, especially for editing, but hes probablly a intel whore just like you all!!!


A question that shouldn't have been asked.
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=232186#19
Why overclock an i5? The performance increase will be negligible. It's not the computations that slow you down its things like cache misses, which will load from your 1333MHz memory.



WTF?
+ Show Spoiler +

Regarding paging slowing someone down due to HDD speeds:
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=231693#16
They USED to be a lot slower than ram. But the fundamentals are no longer like this. You see, RAM bus is outside the chip, hence subject to abysmally slow speeds compared to intra-chip solutions. It also means that the speed growth of the connections is limited. And while harddrive read/write speeds are increasing EXPONENTIALLY, similarly how hard drive sizes are, the linear growth of ram speed cant keep up. So hard drives ultimately have come close to the speed of RAM read and write, only being limited by the same outside-chip fundamental problems.


http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=233202#12
On June 14 2011 07:28 stevarius wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 14 2011 07:21 AngryNarwhal_111 wrote:
Thanks guys. Problem with the blackwidow is that the backlit version is almost $60 more, but I guess I'll start saving.


Save the money, you don't need backlighting.

Isn't it awesome that people know the needs of random strangers online, and can objectively tell them their sense of aesthetic is wrong?

Only thing this post made universally known is not to listen to you...
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=234097#2
I did not read this, so I am posting it.

Reformat your computer.

This as far as I know is "universally" known requirement with any new components.




Out of the Frying Pan...
+ Show Spoiler +

A beautiful set about CPU temps and OCing...
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=228810#5
Numbers really dont matter much.

Is your PC stable? (i.e. does not crash during stressPrime or similar tests)
If so, then the temperature is perfect.

Dont worry too much if the sensor says 30 or 60, who cares? What you want is a stable PC, not a cool or warm PC....right?


I'd say its much more dangerous to have blind faith in working temperature specified in the white papers (OR ON A FORUM DESIGNED FOR GAMING!?).

You think the specific temperature is important, i value stability of the system more.


For cleaning old Thermal Paste.
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=232837#14
tbh you are ok with a slightly damp cloth as long as you are gentle+careful and dont run any power through the cpu until its totally dry

Really? Is a Q-Tip and a milliliter of Rubbing alcohol too much to protect your components?


And the winner in a brand new category, xplitcit, Reply Button Impaired!!

http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=232729
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=232689
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=232663
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=232341
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=231722

All those threads, for ONE PC build!


More will be added as needed. Congratulations to those of you who managed to earn the first batch of prizes!

Edit: Wow, I seem to have struck a nerve with someone I quoted! Every post in my blog just picked up a rating of 1 from someone. Passive aggressive much, someone? Go read Twilight.

****
IamBach
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States1059 Posts
June 11 2011 21:09 GMT
#2
These are so funny
Just listen http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__lCZeePG48
mrmin123 *
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
Korea (South)2971 Posts
June 11 2011 21:16 GMT
#3
On June 12 2011 06:09 IamBach wrote:
These are so funny

I think I died laughing, myself.
Translator태양은 묘지위에 붉게 떠오르고 / 한낮에 찌는 더위는 나의 시련 일찌라!
echO [W]
Profile Joined July 2010
United States1495 Posts
June 11 2011 21:20 GMT
#4
This is a really good idea, I'm surprised no one else thought of this beforehand.
"Or a school bus over a bunch of kids" - Tasteless --- “A man's errors are his portals of discovery.” - James Joyce
JingleHell
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States11308 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-11 21:24:29
June 11 2011 21:21 GMT
#5
Tech support is a gold mine of unintended geek slapstick.

Silly echo.

On June 12 2011 06:20 echO [W] wrote:
This is a really good idea, I'm surprised no one else thought of this beforehand.


http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=230724#15

Someone strongly endorsing the air cooling capabilities of a case based on reviews that didn't test air cooling? And it turns out it sucks for air cooling? Who did that?

I think I may have just created the person who's going to pull up my own screwups with this one...
IamBach
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States1059 Posts
June 11 2011 21:23 GMT
#6
ha? if you have a ram with 400mhz or 800mhz which will run faster? 800!

loool
Just listen http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__lCZeePG48
Grobyc
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Canada18410 Posts
June 11 2011 21:44 GMT
#7
yay, glad nothing i posted is in there ^^
If you watch Godzilla backwards it's about a benevolent lizard who helps rebuild a city and then moonwalks into the ocean.
JingleHell
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States11308 Posts
June 11 2011 21:46 GMT
#8
On June 12 2011 06:44 Grobyc wrote:
yay, glad nothing i posted is in there ^^


Should there be? Self nominations will be accepted
divito
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Canada1213 Posts
June 11 2011 21:50 GMT
#9
Could add almost the entire anti-virus thread to the hall of shame as well.
Skype: divito7
Grobyc
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Canada18410 Posts
June 11 2011 21:55 GMT
#10
On June 12 2011 06:46 JingleHell wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 12 2011 06:44 Grobyc wrote:
yay, glad nothing i posted is in there ^^


Should there be? Self nominations will be accepted

nonono of course not :D I try to keep quiet about things I'm not confident in!
If you watch Godzilla backwards it's about a benevolent lizard who helps rebuild a city and then moonwalks into the ocean.
JingleHell
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States11308 Posts
June 11 2011 21:57 GMT
#11
On June 12 2011 06:55 Grobyc wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 12 2011 06:46 JingleHell wrote:
On June 12 2011 06:44 Grobyc wrote:
yay, glad nothing i posted is in there ^^


Should there be? Self nominations will be accepted

nonono of course not :D I try to keep quiet about things I'm not confident in!


Nonsense, this is the internet. None of that heresy shall be tolerated.
JingleHell
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States11308 Posts
June 11 2011 22:07 GMT
#12
Added a couple more beauties I tracked down...
Dalguno
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States2446 Posts
June 11 2011 22:13 GMT
#13
Somebody's gonna have to keep an eye on me if I post there. No, I won't be giving advice, I'll be mindlessly conforming to the advice of these people, because I know nothing of computers.
"I'm gonna keep making drones cause I'm a baller, and ballers make drones." -Snute
JingleHell
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States11308 Posts
June 11 2011 22:21 GMT
#14
On June 12 2011 07:13 Dalguno wrote:
Somebody's gonna have to keep an eye on me if I post there. No, I won't be giving advice, I'll be mindlessly conforming to the advice of these people, because I know nothing of computers.


Don't worry, there's almost always at least one person who can find sources (due to sources actually existing to back them up) at any given time.

Kaonis
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United States243 Posts
June 11 2011 22:22 GMT
#15
I don't know what's worse, that I find some of these funny, or that I don't get the rest.
And I just built a computer T_T
Nevermind.
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4003 Posts
June 11 2011 22:34 GMT
#16
I have never felt more wronged than when I saw that this had less than a 5/5 rating.

May God have mercy on us all.
Moderator@SirJolt
JingleHell
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States11308 Posts
June 11 2011 22:36 GMT
#17
On June 12 2011 07:34 SirJolt wrote:
I have never felt more wronged than when I saw that this had less than a 5/5 rating.

May God have mercy on us all.


That would be courtesy of someone wanting to try and cause me severe mental anguish for mocking them, without having the nerve to claim their brilliance, I assume.

Obviously, my life is ended, as my blog posts all got rated 1 by an offended stranger. I wonder if that person knows a content search for the quoted text would find their name?
pyaar
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States423 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-12 01:20:27
June 12 2011 01:20 GMT
#18
It strikes me as a bit funny that you made this because you thought these posters weren't being helpful.
writer22816
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
United States5775 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-12 01:23:12
June 12 2011 01:20 GMT
#19
Have seen so much terrible advice but never thought to compile this list

edit: OP you need to quote the people who actually gave this terrible advice
8/4/12 never forget, never forgive.
JingleHell
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States11308 Posts
June 12 2011 01:47 GMT
#20
On June 12 2011 10:20 petergibbons wrote:
It strikes me as a bit funny that you made this because you thought these posters weren't being helpful.


They weren't. If someone has a broken arm, and I hit them in the forehead with a hammer, did I actually help them, or just give them a concussion?
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