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Hey hey hey, I have a tale of epic proportions to share with my fellow teamliquidions!
I entered Starcraft II. I joined a ladder game as my favorite race, Zerg on the map Shakuras plateau. Zerg is truly underpowered compared to the mighty Protoss deathball.
My enemy for this game on the shattered surface of the map shakuras plateau, which has a long distance between bases, was indeed a soldier of the mighty Protoss army, his name was Zeratul.
I chose to do a cheesy all-in build. I 6 pooled. This means that I have no long term economics, but there is roughly a 50% chance for an easy win.
The biggest problem was that the map we faced each other on, had a quite a long rushdistance.
I sent my overlord as early as possible so I could discover the location of the protoss base, which I craved to see in ruins as fast as possible. The overlord who swept gracefully through the air discovered that not only did the Protoss cannonrush me, the cannonrush was already commencing, he had a probe building pylons and cannons in my base!
Now it was truly intense, I had sweat on my forehead and my heart was beating faster than ever. But the only thing I could do was wait, wait for my zerglings to spawn, wait for the miraculous happening of the chosen saviours of the mighty zerg hivecluster on the shattered surface of the dark protoss homeworld Shakuras. I was getting nervous, it was too late to react properly to his rush, the only thing I could do was to force a basetrade.
So I sent all of my zerglings to his base, while the protoss cannons were building in mine. This was truly a race against time. Not only would I lose pride if I lost this game to a chessy protoss allin build, it was also a matter of ladder ranking!
When my zerglings arrived to his base, I got surprised that he only had his forge and a pylon, no defenses in form of cannons, or a gateway. This is when it occurred to me that I might have a very big chance of coming out victorious in this battle of the cheesy titans.
The first thing the protoss did was to pull his probes of mining, to attack my zerglings, I quickly microed back, and focusefired the only pylon he had in his base, so he was not able to build defenses. Have in mind that while all this was happening, the cannonrush continued in my base. My spawningpool was already dead, I had no drones, and my hatchery had already lost 20% of its health!
I killed the only pylon in his base! I had the game won! At least that is what I thought in a few milliseconds, because he got a surround with his probes on my 10 zerglings. I started to shiver. I lost all hope. He outnumbered my zerglings 2 to 1. BUT my zerglings availed. The cannonrushing cheesy protoss said “you fucking noob, learn to play. How old are you? Like 12?” Then he left the game.
I whispered to him “gg”.
 
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You could have said: lolumad, brah!
Still, nice to know you were being polite and just said GG though
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Below Masters a 6 pool vs Protoss should net you a win rate well over 70% if you are good with it.
PS above poster's signature is eerily relevant.
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Cool story brah! Tell it again!
User was warned for this post
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@ DocNemsis Nice to know that you think i was being polite, I actually intended it as a provocation, even though i always regret when i nerdrage when i lose a match, or get flamed by someone I'm winning agsint.
@Geovu well I am in masters (:
@Thatunfunguy Can't you just refresh tliquid and read it again? It'll be a whole new experience 
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This is obviously made up, guys. Cannons can't reach a hatchery from the edge of creep.
It was entertaining though. The balance comment seemed a bit out of place, but it was enjoyable nonetheless.
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On May 23 2011 16:42 Sarang wrote:
This is obviously made up, guys. Cannons can't reach a hatchery from the edge of creep.
It was entertaining though. The balance comment seemed a bit out of place, but it was enjoyable nonetheless.
He also has to come back from the enemy base to his base to kill the cannons to eliminate the other guy. Why would the other guy lose/leave if he only has to kill an 80% hp hatch with cannons and he has structures in both bases(which would take long to eliminate by 10 lings). Why would the guy leave if he still has cannons(that can reach your only structure(?)) and obviously was able to kill some of your 10 lings that is "a long rush distance" away!?
Edit: Oh, I didn't know it was meant for entertainment purposes only. You didn't say it was not real either so you kinda expect these responses.
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@governator I did! And you were totally right! That was amazing advice :D Oh and dude, I told you to text me when you got in Masters!
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On May 23 2011 17:07 NicksonReyes wrote:Show nested quote +On May 23 2011 16:42 Sarang wrote:
This is obviously made up, guys. Cannons can't reach a hatchery from the edge of creep.
It was entertaining though. The balance comment seemed a bit out of place, but it was enjoyable nonetheless. He also has to come back from the enemy base to his base to kill the cannons to eliminate the other guy. Why would the other guy lose/leave if he only has to kill an 80% hp hatch with cannons and he has structures in both bases(which would take long to eliminate by 10 lings). Why would the guy leave if he still has cannons(that can reach your only structure(?)) and obviously was able to kill some of your 10 lings that is "a long rush distance" away!?
And the troll gets unmasked
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2/5 subtle troll/balance whine
2 for the [Effort]
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I never said it was a true story! It is a story for entertainment purposes only.
I did not intend to create a discussion on PvZ balance, the comments about the 'underpowered' race was merely to create an atmosphere.
I wrote this as an essay for my Korean teacher who knows pretty much nothing of starcraft (I know right).
Thanks for the comments, negative aswell as positive
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@baron I'm still not in masters  Haven't been up to my game lately.
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On May 23 2011 16:31 governator wrote:
@Geovu well I am in masters (:
On May 23 2011 17:42 governator wrote:@baron I'm still not in masters Haven't been up to my game lately.
...wat?
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On May 23 2011 18:26 Lior wrote:Show nested quote +On May 23 2011 17:42 governator wrote:@baron I'm still not in masters Haven't been up to my game lately. ...wat?
Looks like the governator...
is a Lior.
YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Edit* Interesting parallels to the IRL Governator.
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How did the Toss not realise that he had actually won? You had no drones, your hatch was your only remaining building and it was being killed. Even if you had killed his base he still had cannons which you would have had to destroy with your remaining zerglings....
Toss are such idiots, especially the cheesey ones.
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"SCOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAR" would be the proper whisper imo. Anyway, good game. I love seeing tears of cannon rushers.
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On May 23 2011 19:27 FlaminGinjaNinja wrote:
How did the Toss not realise that he had actually won? You had no drones, your hatch was your only remaining building and it was being killed. Even if you had killed his base he still had cannons which you would have had to destroy with your remaining zerglings....
Toss are such idiots, especially the cheesey ones.
Maybe you should actually read the thread before you call all protoss players idiots.
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I see lots of nerd tears on this blog. It's all an act, just fly with it you'll enjoy it far more. I might just write some new starcraft 'novelles'
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EPT
