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Hahaha, the next blog post: "I have legendarily hot female friends"
:D
But seriously, it probably does look rehearsed. Telling a girl she's beautiful only works once anyway, unless it naturally fits into conversation. So figure out ways to bring up her good looks, instead of just mentioning them willy-nilly.
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some people feel kinda awkward when they get compliments, i've always found them a little embarrassing in a weird kind of way. it could just be that. i don't like giving them either really, it could just be that.
it sounds more like self esteem stuff though i doubt its lack of trust. in that case just charm the pants off her until she forgets them, just don't be too cheesy i guess.
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On May 03 2011 21:33 Turbovolver wrote:
Hahaha, the next blog post: "I have legendarily hot female friends"
:D
But seriously, it probably does look rehearsed. Telling a girl she's beautiful only works once anyway, unless it naturally fits into conversation. So figure out ways to bring up her good looks, instead of just mentioning them willy-nilly.
Challenge accepted. =D for the next blog post. lolololol
ok i'll go easy on the compliments heh
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That's not what I meant. I meant you just got roasted for posting what many called a brag blog, and you come back in this post as the continuation with statements like "I have legendarily hot female friends".
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On May 03 2011 21:58 Turbovolver wrote:
That's not what I meant. I meant you just got roasted for posting what many called a brag blog, and you come back in this post as the continuation with statements like "I have legendarily hot female friends".
My mom suspects I'm gay so there must be a problem somewhere lol
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hahaha the onion! i love the onion righty-o chief will be less smoove
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On May 03 2011 22:02 SockMonkey wrote:Show nested quote +On May 03 2011 21:58 Turbovolver wrote:
That's not what I meant. I meant you just got roasted for posting what many called a brag blog, and you come back in this post as the continuation with statements like "I have legendarily hot female friends". My mom suspects I'm gay so there must be a problem somewhere lol
I think what turbovolver meant is that he wants some pictures.
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17082 Posts
Keep this in one thread next time.
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http://artofmanliness.com/category/relationships-family/
I do believe this should help solve all your problems.
But seriously, when you just compliment someone for the sake of the compliment, it can sound kind of hollow.
Sometimes, the compliment is necessary like when you take the girl out for dinner and she worked for hours on her makeup. Shes probably expecting to look stunning and no compliment would be a letdown.
But when your just out doing something small during the daytime and she didnt put any work into it it can be kind of unsettling when you act the same way.
Of course you probably dont care (i never really cared about make up on girls), but she does.
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
1.Mention of cousins attractiveness
2.Girl rolls eyes and snorts when taking complements
3.OP's generally awkward
OP I HAVE A QUESTON (statement really)
You are asian aren't you?
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Are there asians in the UK?
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Calgary26004 Posts
On May 04 2011 01:12 iNcontroL wrote:
1.Mention of cousins attractiveness
2.Girl rolls eyes and snorts when taking complements
3.OP's generally awkward
OP I HAVE A QUESTON (statement really)
You are asian aren't you?
4. Correctly uses the adverb form of legendary.
I'm with you - 100% asian.
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
I can 100% confirm that Chill's contribution is indeed correct.
OP please confirm!
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I would run, not walk, in the other direction. This girl sounds like an insecure nutter.
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Man this needs to become a series of brag blogs all better than the last.
I mean real life blogs.
Because I only have female friends, and all of them are supermodels.
You know.
This is probably DreaM)XeRO.
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On May 04 2011 02:40 StorkHwaiting wrote:
I would run, not walk, in the other direction. This girl sounds like an insecure nutter.
Lololol no don't do that. My gf took compliments strangely as well when we first went out. Problem was she did have security issues since she felt like the uglier sibling in her family ( and Asian relatives don't give a shit about sensitivity they'll praise the attractive ones loudly in front of everyone ). So all that during her childhood lowered her self esteem, which is why my compliments rang sort of hollow though I meant them fully. What I did was communicate with her on the subject , I found out why and then gave her the reassurance that she needed. You need to be there for your girlfriend and let her know that you want to have an open and honest relationship, that you two should be able to trust each other, and that you'll be there to support her and reassure here whenever she needs you. Good luck.
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On May 03 2011 21:26 SockMonkey wrote:Show nested quote +On May 03 2011 13:13 flowSthead wrote:
This thread is hilarious. But to seriously answer your question I need some more information. Are you in high school or college? Has she dated much before? Do you know if she has trust issues?
When she says you are "too smooth", the context would be important. I basically see two options (which could be wrong, there could be more). Either she has trust issues, and she is wondering whether your "smoothness" could mean that you are hitting on other girls. Or she is just nervous because she hasn't dated much either. Being nervous is more that she is unsure of herself rather than unsure of you. Basically, I think it would help if you figured out whether her evaluation of you is a reflection of her lack of trust in you, or her own insecurities.
Of course, context could change this entirely and it could mean that she is teasing you or making fun of you. I don't know, you haven't really given me a lot to work with here. Well she meant it as when I tell her she's beautiful, it looks rehearsed. But to answer the first questions. I'm the second guy to ask her out ever. And the first guy pansied up and did it through an email. We're both in uni right now. She has a bit of trust issues but the biggest thing is when I asked her why she doesn't like it when I compliment her previously, she just said it's cause she doesn't believe she's as great as I say she is. I agree and I think it's both her lack of trust in me (my friends are 80% female)(some legendarily hot) and her own insecurities. She claims her cousins are infinitely hotter than her. Well to be 100% honest while they're hot they're also not something I'd date? idk it's just annoying to have your significant other snort and laugh/rolls eyes when you deliver a compliment. So instead of seeming too smooth...How do I seem more genuine?
Well your problem is not seeming more genuine but actually being more genuine. For one thing, none of the words you are using are specific to anything. "Beautiful" and "legendarily hot" mean absolutely nothing. If you want to compliment and seem genuine then you have to be specific. For example, my ex would tell me that she really liked the way my arms looked when she watched me talk in philosophy class. That is an oddly specific compliment. I would compliment her on the way her soft hands feel on my face, on her hair, on the way certain clothes look on her, on her smile. But again, you cannot just say "you have a pretty smile, herp derp", try to go for something more like "i like it when you smile, because you have a really warm smile, and it makes me feel good talking to you".
In other words, you need to personalize compliments. This is something that gets easier the longer you are together and the more practice you have. It's similar to how giving a girl roses can be lame, unless her favorite flowers are roses, or unless you know how to make your own bouquet and you flavor the roses with other flowers.
Personalized compliments are automatically genuine because it would be difficult for them to apply to just anyone. The philosophy class one works really well here, but the smile I gave is still a little too vague, so you would need to figure something better, and preferably in the moment.
She probably is a bit insecure as well, but I imagine most people are insecure in some way or other, and since this is one of her first relationships, then insecurity is fairly natural. The older a person gets, the more confident they usually become. Being genuine in how you communicate will help speed that process along though.
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I'm probably gonna panic and fumble tomorrow when I see her trying to cram in all this advice but thanks guys.
Yep inControl and chill I'm asian. Born and bred on the opposite side of the ocean. Living in England now though and most people think I hail from south England. So I'm not sure how you guys guessed from the above info O_o She's canadian. or so she claims. But it's complicated.
p.s. I don't get no.4. =/
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EPT
