EPTAsk me anything about being a Man, Korean Style - Page 16
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DystopiaX
United States16236 Posts
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BLinD-RawR
ALLEYCAT BLUES50118 Posts
I was reading this thread an I wanted to ask,do most Koreans really react to things in such a way,I mean some harshly worded stuff was written there. | ||
MightyAtom
Korea (South)1897 Posts
On March 06 2011 15:30 DystopiaX wrote: I don't actually have a question, I just wanted to say that I found your answersnto these questions very enlightening and entertaining and to thank you for spreading your knowledge around, lol. ^^ keke | ||
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MightyAtom
Korea (South)1897 Posts
On March 06 2011 17:17 BLinD-RawR wrote: Dave Hyung, I was reading this thread an I wanted to ask,do most Koreans really react to things in such a way,I mean some harshly worded stuff was written there. When there is a feeling of injustice and its completely the other parties fault, then Koreans can get pretty out of control, especially the lesser educated ones. But even the educated ones in the class of 'netizens' can be really really really nutty and out of control. Because of this, Korean's need a strict system of discipline or else there would be chaos; its like when a girl is rude on the subway and its filmed, netizens will find out everything about her and post it up it up on the web, school, ss number, pictures etc and will flame her nonstop until litterally, and I mean litterally the entire country knows about it cause it makes the news. If this was real life, these guys would get a slap in the head from their hyung, but online, its a free for all. There is this really really crazy case of Tablo who was accused of lying, although he wasn't, he proved otherwise, but these crazy netizens kept on going until one group was arrested. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tablo#Debates_over_the_academic_background_of_Tablo you can read the basics there, but if you dig into it, its pretty nuts, so yes, there exists this part of our society which is really really chaotic, irrational and extreme, but normally we beat the shit out of these kinds of people in real life, so they don't cause this kind of stupid crap, but it happens all the time on the net. | ||
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krndandaman
Mozambique16569 Posts
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Renoir_scII
Canada112 Posts
Often when I go out drinking I get told that "this girl was really into me" or "this girl gave me the most intense stare from across the room" and I don't seem to notice these things 90% of the time. How do I become more socially aware so I can pick up on these kind of signals even while drunk? | ||
Rekrul
Korea (South)17174 Posts
On March 07 2011 04:55 krndandaman wrote: hey big brother of TL, any advice on getting with a devout korean christian girl? you know... the one who's never had a boyfriend. never really cared for one. 99/4.0 GPA throughout highschool. QT's every morning. prays for up to hours. the poster child of korean parents as she is a devout christian, excellent student, and beautiful looks. (she's also never disobeyed her parents) I thought I was hitting off with her very well in the past but lately she's been very... chic/cool? towards me. any idea of what's going on? she considers me the closest guy to her and i'm the only guy in the school to have her number. i've known her for 3 months now. i had felt good vibes before, not really so much now. any advice? and yes i have a general idea of what i'm getting myself into lol LMAO | ||
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Kouda
United States2205 Posts
1. How did you get your TL name? 2. A friend made a promise to go out with me today, but she forgot and when I asked her what was going on, she told me that "her grandpa's birthday was today" . Im a bit disappointed and mad, but what is the correct way to get through this? Just forgive and forget? | ||
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krndandaman
Mozambique16569 Posts
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MightyAtom
Korea (South)1897 Posts
On March 07 2011 04:55 krndandaman wrote: hey big brother of TL, any advice on getting with a devout korean christian girl? you know... the one who's never had a boyfriend. never really cared for one. 99/4.0 GPA throughout highschool. QT's every morning. prays for up to hours. the poster child of korean parents as she is a devout christian, excellent student, and beautiful looks. (she's also never disobeyed her parents) I thought I was hitting off with her very well in the past but lately she's been very... chic/cool? towards me. any idea of what's going on? she considers me the closest guy to her and i'm the only guy in the school to have her number. i've known her for 3 months now. i had felt good vibes before, not really so much now. any advice? and yes i have a general idea of what i'm getting myself into lol Don't go down this path unless you are going to go to QT with her every morning; if you want to do that, and be ready to get married to her, BUT THEN WAIT UNTIL GOD SAYS SO, then do so, but she will expect you to be the shining example of Christ and if you don't she may turn on your and be overly judgemental. She doesn't want a boy friends, she wants the guy that God has prepared for her, so you must always initiate prayer first. But if you take her virginity and don't marry her, you will go to hell. ^^ But probably the main reason why she is being cool/chic with you is that she has identified you now as a possible 'temptation' likely because she does like being with you and is trying to protect herself. Instead ask about bible verses and ask to go to qt with her and do spontaneous prayer sessions with her when you feel like it, and most of all if you ever do start kissing, then make sure you pray that God will keep you both pure etc. This will be sure to melt her heart etc. and I'm really not kidding. Do be solution, not the temptation and you'll do fine. OR find a reasonable girl and enjoy your youth and marry a girl 4-5 years younger. ^^ | ||
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krndandaman
Mozambique16569 Posts
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MightyAtom
Korea (South)1897 Posts
On March 07 2011 07:04 Renoir_scII wrote: Hehe, this will be my third question MightyAtom-hyung, so I hope i'm not asking to many. Often when I go out drinking I get told that "this girl was really into me" or "this girl gave me the most intense stare from across the room" and I don't seem to notice these things 90% of the time. How do I become more socially aware so I can pick up on these kind of signals even while drunk? As many questions as you like, ^^ its about initial mind set, if you go out to pick up, you likely won't, but if you go out to get drunk and have a good time, you're actually like to solicit a response, so in this case, all men, don't have an eye for it. That is why you need your friends to say, 'yo man, she likes you' and for the to push you into them or help you out. But sadly many men will either be drunk with you or make a move for themselves. But I can tell you are a man with good character because men should have fun with just the company of men, (I never trust a man who says they have lots of close friends that are girls, NEVER). Mmm...honestly, I have no answer for you, other than, if she really really is hot, you'd notice her out of your drunken haze or I'd tell your friends to inform you as soon as it happens rather than after the fact. The nunchi ability of Koreans goes out the window when drinking with friends (thus many tension issues get brought up), but the nunchi ability is tested in business situation to focus while getting progressively drunker. So, don't worry about, if she was really hot, you'd notice that 10% and if she's not, its your beer goggles on anyway ^^ | ||
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MightyAtom
Korea (South)1897 Posts
On March 07 2011 10:39 Kouda wrote: Dear MightyAtom-Hyung, 1. How did you get your TL name? 2. A friend made a promise to go out with me today, but she forgot and when I asked her what was going on, she told me that "her grandpa's birthday was today" . Im a bit disappointed and mad, but what is the correct way to get through this? Just forgive and forget? I grew up watching MightAtom/AstroBoy, so I always felt I was like him or admired him as a child. Very clean cut and powerful, but full of justice and compassion, in a unassuming package and always fearless to do whatever it takes, even sacrifice. Depends, if you are a girl, as well, then ladies need to less dramatic in general, but since I assume you're a guy there are some underlying issues here. If she is really just your friend, then you wouldn't have such a strong response, and the fact that it is a promise and she forgot, shows that your both on two different wavelengths here. 1. dont' forgive and forget, be a man and tell her, 'no worries girl, have fun at your grandpa's birthday,' and just wish her well and off on her bike she goes. This is way beneath you to even take it the point of thinking in terms of 'forgive and forget' after all its her grandpa's birthday, so you need to man up and brush it off in front of her. 2. BUT the real issue here, is the promise and she forgot, that is the real issue here. I'm gonna give it to you straight, but take it like the man that you are. Fuck her. If she can't even remember a the appointment with you and see what it means to you, that it was a 'promise' between close friends, then she ain't your close friend, regardless of the reason. Also, she should invite you to the her grandpa's party or do something afterwards instead to make it up to you, but this leads us to the next point. 3. As a man, you're prime motive to have a friend that is a girl, is to get with her. Its unacceptable to have any other reason, other than she has hot friends or you've already tried the lover part and it just didn't match up, OR very rarely if she really is such a great person that she really is like a saint. Otherwise, you need to be honest why you're making promises to hang out with a girl that is your friend. Say it, you like her more than a friend, you want to spend time with her and forget about this Friend zone crap for a moment, just be honest. And if that is the case, do you really want to spend time with someone like her who doesn't give a second thought about you? It doesn't make you less in anyway, she might just be dumb or clueless in general as a friend; now do you really want to take this farther with her in any case? If you really really just want to be her friend or can accept that, then these kinds of things should never bother you as a man, so what, she had another appointment, we made a promise, but whatever, it ain't like you can't rebook. But if you going for something more, just forget about her, no matter how much you think you've invested, because if she can forget you that easily, then she ain't worth any more of your attention; and when that attention is gone, if she notices, then she does, if she doesn't well fuck it, CAUSE a man don't need friends that are girls, he need men to be his friends and women to be his lovers and wife. And you need a woman who will give you the attention first, not vice versa. And no one give me crap about getting to know what women what, women want men, we are built to love them and vice versa (although I don't rule out true love between people of any race or gender, not a disclaimer, but truly). Things like this take time, but trust me, as every man loses their virginity and gets their first kiss, so will the many fish in the sea pass right in front of you, but don't waste time on her, don't get mad, don't forgive and forget, she ain't even worth that. This is nothing, she just another somebody she can't even bother to be friend let alone a possible lover. ^^ so be honest and let it be what it is. | ||
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SkyLegenD
United States304 Posts
On March 07 2011 12:10 MightyAtom wrote: I grew up watching MightAtom/AstroBoy, so I always felt I was like him or admired him as a child. Very clean cut and powerful, but full of justice and compassion, in a unassuming package and always fearless to do whatever it takes, even sacrifice. Depends, if you are a girl, as well, then ladies need to less dramatic in general, but since I assume you're a guy there are some underlying issues here. If she is really just your friend, then you wouldn't have such a strong response, and the fact that it is a promise and she forgot, shows that your both on two different wavelengths here. 1. dont' forgive and forget, be a man and tell her, 'no worries girl, have fun at your grandpa's birthday,' and just wish her well and off on her bike she goes. This is way beneath you to even take it the point of thinking in terms of 'forgive and forget' after all its her grandpa's birthday, so you need to man up and brush it off in front of her. 2. BUT the real issue here, is the promise and she forgot, that is the real issue here. I'm gonna give it to you straight, but take it like the man that you are. Fuck her. If she can't even remember a the appointment with you and see what it means to you, that it was a 'promise' between close friends, then she ain't your close friend, regardless of the reason. Also, she should invite you to the her grandpa's party or do something afterwards instead to make it up to you, but this leads us to the next point. 3. As a man, you're prime motive to have a friend that is a girl, is to get with her. Its unacceptable to have any other reason, other than she has hot friends or you've already tried the lover part and it just didn't match up, OR very rarely if she really is such a great person that she really is like a saint. Otherwise, you need to be honest why you're making promises to hang out with a girl that is your friend. Say it, you like her more than a friend, you want to spend time with her and forget about this Friend zone crap for a moment, just be honest. And if that is the case, do you really want to spend time with someone like her who doesn't give a second thought about you? It doesn't make you less in anyway, she might just be dumb or clueless in general as a friend; now do you really want to take this farther with her in any case? If you really really just want to be her friend or can accept that, then these kinds of things should never bother you as a man, so what, she had another appointment, we made a promise, but whatever, it ain't like you can't rebook. But if you going for something more, just forget about her, no matter how much you think you've invested, because if she can forget you that easily, then she ain't worth any more of your attention; and when that attention is gone, if she notices, then she does, if she doesn't well fuck it, CAUSE a man don't need friends that are girls, he need men to be his friends and women to be his lovers and wife. And you need a woman who will give you the attention first, not vice versa. And no one give me crap about getting to know what women what, women want men, we are built to love them and vice versa (although I don't rule out true love between people of any race or gender, not a disclaimer, but truly). Things like this take time, but trust me, as every man loses their virginity and gets their first kiss, so will the many fish in the sea pass right in front of you, but don't waste time on her, don't get mad, don't forgive and forget, she ain't even worth that. This is nothing, she just another somebody she can't even bother to be friend let alone a possible lover. ^^ so be honest and let it be what it is. | ||
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asianskill
United States289 Posts
I was with my girlfriend for a little over a year. We broke around a month ago. We dated throughout high school but in college, we're at opposite sides of the country. We were on and off the past semester but when we saw each other during winter break, we promised each other we'd make it work. I was genuinely happy with her and I could see that she was happy too. A month later of long distance, she tells me that she just thinks of me as a friend because we can't be "together". She says that she doesn't feel the same because I'm just a computer screen or text. I was crushed. Here I was, I had given everything to this girl and she was ready to give it all up. It's been a month since we broke up and I didn't really think about her too much. I kept myself busy and I lived my life. I found so much opportunity because I put myself in front of everything else in my life. But recently, we talked and I realized how much I missed her. I'm still in love with her and I felt like my growth apart from her has been artificial. And she just makes it seem that she's totally over me because she's done the same and consumed her life with work. It's really sad, I thought we really had something special. What should I do? I love talking to her but I talk to her as a significant other while she talks to me as her best friend? Any advice in general? Thanks | ||
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R A V
United States217 Posts
My question: How much Korean does a foreigner need to be able to speak in order to have a relationship with a woman in Korea? As far as I understand they take english classes in school, so will they be able to speak enough english to have a relationship, or would some sort of "I'll speak korean half the time and you speak english half the time" deal be best? Also, you make it sound like Korean women are amazing in the bed room and I was wondering if you could touch on that a bit more. What exactly makes them so good? :3 | ||
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targ
Malaysia445 Posts
My question is this: A few years back when I was in college, I had plastic surgery done, a double eyelid operation. People said it would look nice, so I did it. (I'm a guy btw). At that time I felt it looked nice, but now I partially regret it because it seemed not very "manly" to have done so. So now I feel a little shy to tell new friends or girls I date about it. Any advice? | ||
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qdenser
Canada133 Posts
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zeks
Canada1068 Posts
How does one get over the feeling of inferiority? I often feel inadequate when I compare myself to other people my age (I'm 21). I work as a co-op at CGI (an IT consulting firm) as a Business Analyst which isn't too bad as some people would tell me, but when I look at people who work at banks, i-banks and consulting firms, I feel like why I only got this far in life when others are already 5 steps ahead. I have average studying habits I would say...about a B- cumulative average... How much harder do I need to work to achieve "greatness"? I don't know if I can sacrifice any more to go up a couple grade points. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just not talented enough for the good life... This applies not just to work but also to my hobbies and girls. I always feel as though I won't be liked because I'm lacking things as a man that would make me attractive - working at a good firm and making money, having a car, dressing well enough. A year ago, I had been out on a couple dates with this girl who was an Actuarial Analyst co-op when I was just working for the school. We hit it off pretty well but the more I thought about my job compared to hers I felt I wasn't good enough -- I guess I had too much pride and eventually I distanced myself away from her. I guess I'm starting to achieve those things (career/money) slowly but as I reach these "milestones" I realize I'm still missing so much stuff (ie. When I got my job at CGI I was maybe happy for 5 seconds...then I realize someone my age or younger is already at Manulife or Deutsche bank making more than I am). I'm unconfident and I feel like I'm never satisfied. Sorry for the long write up. I think I just need someone to slap some sense into me. | ||
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MightyAtom
Korea (South)1897 Posts
On March 07 2011 12:31 asianskill wrote: Dave hyung, I was with my girlfriend for a little over a year. We broke around a month ago. We dated throughout high school but in college, we're at opposite sides of the country. We were on and off the past semester but when we saw each other during winter break, we promised each other we'd make it work. I was genuinely happy with her and I could see that she was happy too. A month later of long distance, she tells me that she just thinks of me as a friend because we can't be "together". She says that she doesn't feel the same because I'm just a computer screen or text. I was crushed. Here I was, I had given everything to this girl and she was ready to give it all up. It's been a month since we broke up and I didn't really think about her too much. I kept myself busy and I lived my life. I found so much opportunity because I put myself in front of everything else in my life. But recently, we talked and I realized how much I missed her. I'm still in love with her and I felt like my growth apart from her has been artificial. And she just makes it seem that she's totally over me because she's done the same and consumed her life with work. It's really sad, I thought we really had something special. What should I do? I love talking to her but I talk to her as a significant other while she talks to me as her best friend? Any advice in general? Thanks I think she is being the more practical of you two. It's clear that you love her, and maybe she does love you as well, but she wants to move on and maybe she already has. When you're both really in love, after a break up, it takes time to get over things, but the fact is, I think she has her priorities straight and has already forced herself to move on. 1. Women don't know what they want, so they change their minds and its easy to change your mind when maybe there are lots of guys to flirt with and lots of opportunity in sight. I'm not saying she is a bad girl or has cheated on you, but you're both young and she may think, what's the point. And she can think that way because...she ain't your soul mate. If she was, then she'd appreciate what you guys have. I tell you when I was in university, EMAIL JUST STARTED, and that was just in university, and long distant call prices in the country were like a dollar a minute. I'd have a 200 dollar phone bill every month and yes, I am probably the last generation to write letters. For her to say, 'its just text', omg, skype, video, so what, you guys can talk to each other every day,unless you were living together before, she is just giving an excuse. Long distance is bearable...if she really wants it. 2. Of course you're gonna miss her. Its clear you love her. But, you gotta let go and start living your young life around you. Go dating, stop thinking about what was, you're probably not going to get married in the next 4 years or so, go meet someone who would die for you instead of some girl like this. Of course, there will be things you miss about her and still have feelings for her, it ain't like she was a stranger, you loved this girl for many reasons. But, she ain't that same girl you thought she was. And that is the clearest thing I can tell you. If she was the girl you thought she was, you'd think if you both agreed to make it work she'd at least really try. But she isn't. So do you really know this girl? 3. I'm going to give the the 123 here because the fact is, this is an emotional period and she was special to you, maybe in the moment you were to her, but that time has gone, its over. ONE: Don't call her anymore, friend or no friend, you're not living for her, so why make it harder for yourself. She wants to be your friend, you wanna be her lover, this sucks for you, why suffer in trying to be her friends, that is thoughtless on her part and if she can't see that, well I don't blame her, she's just young. TWO: If she does contact you, just say you're busy and say, lets talk later, but don't give a time and hang up. You need to give up any hope of this working out, if she really wants it to work out, she'll fly out there and say she's sorry. Yes, it can be that dramatic if there was something really special there, otherwise, you're making it too easy for her to fuck you up again. THREE: Do it Korean style, go out with a good friend and drink and keep drinking:, cry it out, hug it out, scream yell, I love you bitch, I thought you were the one etc, just this one time, and drink until you are able to fully express what you need to. Westerns think being a man is just ignoring your feelings; fuck that, you loved her, its over, if you didn't feel anything or longing, then you really didn't. But you did, its a fact, so go out there and give it one last cry and leave with your puke in the washroom. Just say what you need to say and leave it at that. Once, I went out with this very beautiful girl who was TV announcer and I think she just felt I wasn't good enough to marry her because I wasn't a good enough Christian. Well, at the moment in my life, I had for some reason made up my mind I should get married and she was the one for me, I guess, it was because she was very much the ideal girl my mother would like. So anyways, it was over and I was upset and so me, Rek, one my close friends, and an idiot, 4 of us, went out to drink and we drank and drank. And I was laughing and just sad and happy here and there, but just letting things out of my system and this guy comes in with a guitar and starts to sing a song and asks for money. So I say, here is 20 bucks, give me your guitar. So drunk as fuck I take the guitar, start playing it and singing (in English) and everyone in the drinking place, well they appreciate it. And Rek says to me, damn that waitress was really digging you that entire time (and the waitress was not bad looking as well) and then I just felt mentally free and that was the end of that. You're not being a pussy, just a man in love. But its a man that can also just move on. Plus, its definitely for the best, whether it feels like that now or not. | ||
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