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I've heard people say that having a child changes your perspective on many things and helps mature you - or rather, you're forced to mature. I don't know what that's like, and in a way I am grateful for that since I doubt I am ready for it.
Anyways, it is utterly curious to me that something like it has happened anyways. As you may or may not know, my apartment happens to hold 3 members of the UNC CSL team. But, there is also a 4th person. This person is of immense interest. We shall alternatively refer to him as Proberto, or otherwise as Roarby.
May this kvetching entertain you.
Ah Roarby, why are you always 2-5 weeks late on rent.
Ah Roarby, must you wail so loudly in anguish whilst playing poker during the early hours of the morning. Good thing letting you play poker for a bit on my desktop weened you off playing poker on your laptop!
Once upon a time, Proberto prepared to leave Aiur under direction and verbal agreement to take the trash to Char. Five minutes later, he indeed left Aiur, but without the trash.
Ah Roarby, it is a good thing that you think 60+ hours without showering might introduce a probability of showering being necessary. Alas, upon realization that you took a shower ~36 hours ago, you declare yourself of the utmost olfactory delight. Let's just forget the fact that over the same time period, no brushing of the teeth took place.
Ok, my format sucks. Last kvetch before returning to the whole having a kid theme - it is often super embarassing being near Roarby in public. You see, he absolutely loves the terms "boobies" and "boobie snacks". Yep, he says them all the time. Including in public, at restaurants, etc. He especially loves to use them when he feels that he is being a rapist, etc. In fact, empirically, it seems that "oh yea I'm a rapist" and "boobie snacks" are synonymous.
Oh, and before I forget. Once, he was like "what a nigger" about 3 feet in front of a group of african americans. Who were looking towards him at the time. And he was looking right at them in return. God save me from this T_T
Without getting into more private roarbies of Roarby, it feels like having a kid, except I didn't, and he's obviously not mine. Somehow we have a 20 year old with the mannerisms of a 5 year old mixed with half the mind of a 40 year old hentai. It's a curious mix.
tl;dr Halp I'm way too young for this shit.
p.s. This is a (hopefully) less shitty version of the kvetch a roommate of mine posted earlier 
And... I just realized "this" is a permutation of "shit"
Basically, wtf halp how do you convince this guy he is fucking retarded and have him change to be less retarded.
 
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You can't really cure idiocy but you could tell him to clean up his act or get up. A 40 year old hentai? Uhh ok lol. You could always act like hes not there, but hes probably too obnoxious to do so. GL
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Pancakes are a polarizing subject.
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wow man just say it to his face that his a fucking retard.
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Yea, he can be pretty obnoxious. For example, today after returning from not showering or brushing his teeth for at least 36 hours, I was like damn you smell like you need a shower.
His response? "Really?" At receiving yes for an answer, he comes up, starts flapping his arms up and down and goes "Oh yea I smell (I forget the adjective he used, but it was close to 'good' in meaning)"
And then he takes his shirt off and hangs it on the ceiling fan, and turns the fan on wtf retarded.
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lol what
thats fucking insane
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On February 16 2011 13:02 Licmyobelisk wrote:
wow man just say it to his face that his a fucking retard.
I have many times lol. His response is always something synonymous (to him) with "Oh yea I'm a rapist" or "boobie snacks". Reminds me of that character in The Twelve Chairs who comically has a vocabulary of 30 words.
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Your writing style is peculiar.
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On February 16 2011 13:06 Lemonwalrus wrote:
wtf is a kvetch?
Slang derived from Yiddish which means to complain. Or alternatively, a person who complains.
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Get a new roommate. Threaten to kick him out of things don't change. Do it politely. Ask for a meeting of all roommates, talk about issues, and then let him know what's going on.
If you're at a University, either you're screwed, or maybe you can talk to some administration if it's THAT bad.
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There is no way you could willingly agree to room with him and not see this coming.
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I think most of us have heard of (or had) this kind of worthless roommate at some before, but your description was still entertaining.
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On February 16 2011 13:12 nineninja9 wrote:
There is no way you could willingly agree to room with him and not see this coming.
Yeah this came to mind too haha
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On February 16 2011 13:14 Grobyc wrote:Show nested quote +On February 16 2011 13:12 nineninja9 wrote:
There is no way you could willingly agree to room with him and not see this coming. Yeah this came to mind too haha
Somehow neither myself nor my other 2 roommates saw this coming. We were simply looking for a one year replacement for a roommate who went off to Russia for the year :/
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16998 Posts
This has nothing to do with your blog post, but what the shit is Team Empyrean?
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The site is right in his sig, copy paste that shit bro
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thought this was about getting together with a woman that already has a child. im upset
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16998 Posts
On February 16 2011 13:21 Lemonwalrus wrote:
The site is right in his sig, copy paste that shit bro
I did, and I was horribly confused >_>
EDIT: I only wish they had better website design/layout <_<
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On February 16 2011 13:20 Empyrean wrote:
This has nothing to do with your blog post, but what the shit is Team Empyrean?
We are your fan team Yue 
Just another team Although, I did think holy shit Empyrean made his own team at first.
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Glorious victory! Proberto has entered the shower. Thank the gods, for my nose is saved.
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Don't attach the noble name of Proberto to such a squalid creature.
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On February 16 2011 13:29 Chef wrote:
Don't attach the noble name of Proberto to such a squalid creature.
Ah but it fits his real name so well 
Perhaps he should be named after the helion, that dastardly unit which murders probertos.
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On February 16 2011 13:31 EtherealDeath wrote:Show nested quote +On February 16 2011 13:29 Chef wrote:
Don't attach the noble name of Proberto to such a squalid creature. Ah but it fits his real name so well Perhaps he should be named after the helion, that dastardly unit which murders probertos.
Soooo.
Roberto?
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Some people are better off living in solitude. xD
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Proberto's (Fictional) Account:
Proberto is the only roommate using the shower who ever cares enough to remove the coiled pubic hair out from the bathtub each time he showers. Too bad he doesn't take a shower that often! Sucks doesn't it...
Proberto is late in paying the same split amount of rent as his roommates. However Proberto occupies the least amount of space in the apartment while Roommates A and B have singles, while Roommate E has a large workstation desk in the living room. Proberto uses the kitchen table because his room has no space, but then his belongings get removed overnight and dumped back into his bedroom because living room space is "public property" by Roommate A. Seems quite reasonable to be paying rent for a bed and a quarter of a kitchen table doesn't it?
Surely Proberto's shared single has some space to study! But what further troubles our hero Proberto seems to be the fact that he shares the same tiny room (lets not forget that Roommate A has a master for himself) with Roommate E, who has declined to help clean up with Proberto for an entire month now. Suffice to say the room is harder to maneuver through than a trash heap.
So how come Proberto had just gone for over 36 hours without showering? What poor hygienic standards. A normal college student should be able to study effectively at the kitchen table of a dimly lit living room while Roommate E blasts loud Starcraft livestream/commentary, laughs at the stream, blurts out "Lol XYZ pro just got raped like a scrub", then proceeds to cackle for the next 5 minutes; this stationary process has period of 30 minutes and lasts for six to ten hours every day of the week. So instead, Proberto elects to pull all-nighters to do his work on campus and forgo his bathtub cleaning duties altogether. What an irresponsible man!
While "I'm a rapist" is a meme that was taken from another roommate just like "Wo Shi ____ _____", and "ah roarby", it is not be be used in conjunction with "boobisnacks". The latter phrase is only used to address the peculiar attraction of Roommate E to females with a distinct lack of said property.
Speaking of the N-word, Proberto is actually not the individual who can't stop spamming it after losing every BNet ladder game to a "gay ass terran" for a whole month before Proberto reminded him that he has become a worthy successor to appropriate usage of said word. Just because a roommate decided to use it in public a few times in jest doesn't mean his other roommate can't pick it up as if he were a child. What an egregious blunder by Proberto.
Just a hint: Punching the wall like a monkey in a cage every other day and breaking glass windows on public property doesn't work well in conjunction with spamming the N-word. It might raise a few more extra questions from others than just the physical action itself.
(We'll leave the readers to ponder why Proberto skipped the letters 'C' and 'D' in his alphabetically-ordered roommate labels.)
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Proberto does not study :3
He only watches smash videos all day and goes "what what a baddie, i'm so pro"
Proberto also drops classes for he believed the class to be easy, and thus did not do any of the work due to the aforementioned smashing.
Now I am getting off topic and veering away from kvetching.
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On February 16 2011 15:07 EtherealDeath wrote:kvetching.
You are not Jewish and you are not in China.
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On February 16 2011 15:04 yakfur wrote:
Proberto's (Fictional) Account:
Proberto is the only roommate using the shower who ever cares enough to remove the coiled pubic hair out from the bathtub each time he showers. Too bad he doesn't take a shower that often! Sucks doesn't it...
Proberto is late in paying the same split amount of rent as his roommates. However Proberto occupies the least amount of space in the apartment while Roommates A and B have singles, while Roommate E has a large workstation desk in the living room. Proberto uses the kitchen table because his room has no space, but then his belongings get removed overnight and dumped back into his bedroom because living room space is "public property" by Roommate A. Seems quite reasonable to be paying rent for a bed and a quarter of a kitchen table doesn't it?
Surely Proberto's shared single has some space to study! But what further troubles our hero Proberto seems to be the fact that he shares the same tiny room (lets not forget that Roommate A has a master for himself) with Roommate E, who has declined to help clean up with Proberto for an entire month now. Suffice to say the room is harder to maneuver through than a trash heap.
So how come Proberto had just gone for over 36 hours without showering? What poor hygienic standards. A normal college student should be able to study effectively at the kitchen table of a dimly lit living room while Roommate E blasts loud Starcraft livestream/commentary, laughs at the stream, blurts out "Lol XYZ pro just got raped like a scrub", then proceeds to cackle for the next 5 minutes; this stationary process has period of 30 minutes and lasts for six to ten hours every day of the week. So instead, Proberto elects to pull all-nighters to do his work on campus and forgo his bathtub cleaning duties altogether. What an irresponsible man!
While "I'm a rapist" is a meme that was taken from another roommate just like "Wo Shi ____ _____", and "ah roarby", it is not be be used in conjunction with "boobisnacks". The latter phrase is only used to address the peculiar attraction of Roommate E to females with a distinct lack of said property.
Speaking of the N-word, Proberto is actually not the individual who can't stop spamming it after losing every BNet ladder game to a "gay ass terran" for a whole month before Proberto reminded him that he has become a worthy successor to appropriate usage of said word. Just because a roommate decided to use it in public a few times in jest doesn't mean his other roommate can't pick it up as if he were a child. What an egregious blunder by Proberto.
Just a hint: Punching the wall like a monkey in a cage every other day and breaking glass windows on public property doesn't work well in conjunction with spamming the N-word. It might raise a few more extra questions from others than just the physical action itself.
(We'll leave the readers to ponder why Proberto skipped the letters 'C' and 'D' in his alphabetically-ordered roommate labels.)
Lol, the Roarby finally posts. This thread is actually quite interesting. BTW I actually remove the coiled pubic hair half the time.
Regarding the rent: If you want to pay less rent, then just tell me. I'd rather you do that than absolutely not paying the rent on time EVER. There's a difference in taking a $300 interest free loan every month for like a month and asking to change the amount of rent paid based on living space. I'm completely fine to talk to you about this.
I agree that Roommate E should help Proberto clean up his room. LOL. I love the depiction of Roommate E punching the wall and spamming N words against terrans! This I do enjoy!
Why did Roarby skip C and D? I'm so confused. Once I'm back from New Haven we need to have a serious talk about these issues :-D I feel like Roarby has so much unrealized potential that could be realized through better work ethic/conditions, the latter of which I agree is not well-provided by the apartment. But at the same time, I think he needs to take responsibility for many things that happen to him that are under your control. I guess that would be categorized under Proberto's "work ethic." As for the living conditions, A, B, E, and Proberto should come together and talk about this.
EDIT: I was surprised that Roarby actually has so much conflict with Roommate E. Now C and D make sense. Lol
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so...why did the boy drop his ice cream?
because he got hit by a truck.
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rofl, great blog. dramadramadrama toooo lol.
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On February 16 2011 17:01 DarthThienAn wrote:
rofl, great blog. dramadramadrama toooo lol.
lol guy rants about roommate.
doesn't realize roommate lurks TL.
other roommates get involved rofl.
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Well, since E is an SC2 addict, I shall bump this in the hope he visits this thread soon.
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On February 16 2011 17:05 StarN wrote:Show nested quote +On February 16 2011 17:01 DarthThienAn wrote:
rofl, great blog. dramadramadrama toooo lol. lol guy rants about roommate. doesn't realize roommate lurks TL. other roommates get involved rofl.
I know he lurks TL
It's funny he made a second (or is it third) account to respond though.
So instead, Proberto elects to pull all-nighters to do his work on campus and forgo his bathtub cleaning duties altogether. What an irresponsible man!
Actually, Proberto stays on campus to play Pokemon and other games, for our router at home inexplicably will not allow him to play those games - and so Proberto does not want to take the fix solution that was suggested, and instead desires to pay no internet fee - which is fine, but you know he goes on campus for Pokemon.
A normal college student should be able to study effectively at the kitchen table of a dimly lit living room while Roommate E blasts loud Starcraft livestream/commentary, laughs at the stream, blurts out "Lol XYZ pro just got raped like a scrub",
I almost never watch streams outside of GSL. Very occassionally I will watch some other tourney, and even rarer I will watch an FPV, and most of the time this is with my headphones on. Speaking of which, you have headphones too, but alas, as you almost never make use of it, I can hum pretty much all the background music that shows up in competitive smash stages, so long as you provide the beginning.
laughs at the stream, blurts out "Lol XYZ pro just got raped like a scrub", then proceeds to cackle for the next 5 minutes; this stationary process has period of 30 minutes and lasts for six to ten hours every day of the week.
Except I am pretty much only playing during that time, and as such am focused completely on the game, and have not the slightest idea what is going on in the stream. So, cackling would be a bit impossible since I am not paying attention. I do however sometimes say "wow my ally is a fucking retard" when I am playing 2v2.
While "I'm a rapist" is a meme that was taken from another roommate just like "Wo Shi ____ _____", and "ah roarby", it is not be be used in conjunction with "boobisnacks". The latter phrase is only used to address the peculiar attraction of Roommate E to females with a distinct lack of said property.
I've never even said "Wo Shi ____ _____". "Ah Roarby" is used to refer to your random fails, just as "Wo Shi ____ _____" refers to mine. "I'm a rapist" is clearly of another connotative meaning. Also, "boobisnacks" tends to follow "I'm a rapist", and is often used at times when glee is being expressed on your face. The reason you gave makes no sense at all, as the only girl you have ever been involved with or tried to (in college) has perhaps the most pronounced lack thereof - not that that's a bad thing. Not to mention you spam that phrase way too much, so perhaps you are always thinking of my "peculiar attraction to females with a distinct lack of said property".
Just a hint: Punching the wall like a monkey in a cage every other day and breaking glass windows on public property doesn't work well in conjunction with spamming the N-word. It might raise a few more extra questions from others than just the physical action itself.
Lol broke a window once at NCSSM and that was from being very pissed off that I couldn't concentrate on studying due to a fly that was buzzing very loudly all day. And happened to land on the window. About punching walls - what can I say, my knuckles get itchy after a while. Probably due to the practice I and roommate M (no longer here) did to a concrete wall one summer.
Speaking of the N-word, Proberto is actually not the individual who can't stop spamming it after losing every BNet ladder game to a "gay ass terran" for a whole month...Just because a roommate decided to use it in public a few times in jest doesn't mean his other roommate can't pick it up as if he were a child. What an egregious blunder by Proberto.
I don't think it was a whole month, but anyways, I agree it was a bad thing! The extreme homo erotoic play of 1 base terran aside, it is clearly not something that should be done, so indeed that is my fault. I however will not use ad hominem to cover up my own failings!
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EPT
