• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 09:17
CET 14:17
KST 22:17
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
[ASL22] Finals Preview: Sweet Victory!9[ASL22] Ro4 Preview: Mirror Mirror6[ASL22] Ro8 Preview: Within Reach5[ASL22] Ro8 Preview: In A Tizzy11[ASL22] Ro16 Preview: Holy Diver5
Community News
Evil Geniuses - shutting down14ISSL (IntoTheTV x SOOP SC2 League): Premier5Weekly Cups (October 12-18): 5.0.17 era begins1[$1250] International ShieldBattery League77Weekly Cups (October 5-11): Farewell to 5.0.167
StarCraft 2
General
How do you feel about the mass reverts in the 5.0.17 PTR? REPORT: StarCraft 2: Remastered In Development Team Liquid Map Contest #22: Results and Winners No more SC2 streamers on team liquid? Evil Geniuses - shutting down
Tourneys
ScienceCraft (October 24-25) - Live Event Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament RSL goes to London! 2026 Offline Finals Nov 21-22 ISSL (IntoTheTV x SOOP SC2 League): Premier WORTEX Challenger Series — Open SC2 LAN in Budapes
Strategy
[H] ZvP Mid-Late Game: Stalkers Collossi HT
Custom Maps
[G] How to playtest arcade maps [A] Nemrods 1/4 players [M] (2) Sweltering Sands
External Content
Mutation # 549 Endless Sparkles The PondCast: SC2 News & Results Mutation # 548 Shining Bright Mutation # 547 Temple Of Terror
Brood War
General
[Megathread] Daily Funny Videos Hands of Pluto Recent recommended BW games Oceanic Brood War - Join and chat! Bot on ladder
Tourneys
[Megathread] Daily Proleagues [$1250] International ShieldBattery League [ASL22] Grand Finals [BSL23] RO24 Group C
Strategy
Cliff Jump Revisited (1 in a 1000 strategy) 50,000-Word Terran Builds Memo 2026-10-22 Simple Questions, Simple Answers
Other Games
General Games
Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Nintendo Switch Thread Mobile Legends: Bang Bang Armies of Exigo - YesYes? General RTS Discussion Thread
Dota 2
Dota 2 Champions League Season 3 Begins April 25!
League of Legends
[TL LoL EUW IHs] Teemo shall perish
Heroes of the Storm
Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug
TL Mafia
TL Mafia Community Thread
Community
General
Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine Russo-Ukrainian War Thread US Politics Mega-thread Canadian Politics Mega-thread European Politico-economics QA Mega-thread
Fan Clubs
Reynor Fan Club The Flash Fan Club Serral Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
Anime Discussion Thread Movie Discussion! [Manga] One Piece
Sports
Football (Soccer) Thread TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023 MLB/Baseball 2023
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread
TL Community
Recent Gifted Posts
Blogs
Innovate or Game Over?
TrAiDoS
ShieldBattery on Mac
Kraekkling
[ASL22] Ro4 Day1 Ticket Giv…
bITt.mAN
Can Bots Beat Pros?? Starcr…
namkraft
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 7485 users

To have a kid that's not yours

Blogs > EtherealDeath
Post a Reply
1 2 Next All
EtherealDeath
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States8366 Posts
February 16 2011 03:37 GMT
#1
I've heard people say that having a child changes your perspective on many things and helps mature you - or rather, you're forced to mature. I don't know what that's like, and in a way I am grateful for that since I doubt I am ready for it.

Anyways, it is utterly curious to me that something like it has happened anyways. As you may or may not know, my apartment happens to hold 3 members of the UNC CSL team. But, there is also a 4th person. This person is of immense interest. We shall alternatively refer to him as Proberto, or otherwise as Roarby.

May this kvetching entertain you.

Ah Roarby, why are you always 2-5 weeks late on rent.
Ah Roarby, must you wail so loudly in anguish whilst playing poker during the early hours of the morning. Good thing letting you play poker for a bit on my desktop weened you off playing poker on your laptop!

Once upon a time, Proberto prepared to leave Aiur under direction and verbal agreement to take the trash to Char. Five minutes later, he indeed left Aiur, but without the trash.

Ah Roarby, it is a good thing that you think 60+ hours without showering might introduce a probability of showering being necessary. Alas, upon realization that you took a shower ~36 hours ago, you declare yourself of the utmost olfactory delight. Let's just forget the fact that over the same time period, no brushing of the teeth took place.

Ok, my format sucks. Last kvetch before returning to the whole having a kid theme - it is often super embarassing being near Roarby in public. You see, he absolutely loves the terms "boobies" and "boobie snacks". Yep, he says them all the time. Including in public, at restaurants, etc. He especially loves to use them when he feels that he is being a rapist, etc. In fact, empirically, it seems that "oh yea I'm a rapist" and "boobie snacks" are synonymous.

Oh, and before I forget. Once, he was like "what a nigger" about 3 feet in front of a group of african americans. Who were looking towards him at the time. And he was looking right at them in return. God save me from this T_T

Without getting into more private roarbies of Roarby, it feels like having a kid, except I didn't, and he's obviously not mine. Somehow we have a 20 year old with the mannerisms of a 5 year old mixed with half the mind of a 40 year old hentai. It's a curious mix.

tl;dr Halp I'm way too young for this shit.

p.s. This is a (hopefully) less shitty version of the kvetch a roommate of mine posted earlier

And... I just realized "this" is a permutation of "shit"

Basically, wtf halp how do you convince this guy he is fucking retarded and have him change to be less retarded.



****
Ushio
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Canada868 Posts
February 16 2011 04:00 GMT
#2
You can't really cure idiocy but you could tell him to clean up his act or get up. A 40 year old hentai? Uhh ok lol. You could always act like hes not there, but hes probably too obnoxious to do so. GL
http://myanimelist.net/profile/billng
nineninja9
Profile Joined March 2010
United States194 Posts
February 16 2011 04:02 GMT
#3
Pancakes are a polarizing subject.
Licmyobelisk
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
Philippines3682 Posts
February 16 2011 04:02 GMT
#4
wow man just say it to his face that his a fucking retard.
I don't think I've ever wished my opponent good luck prior to a game. When I play, I play to win. I hope every opponent I ever have is cursed with fucking terrible luck. I hope they're stuck playing underneath a stepladder with a black cat in attendance a
EtherealDeath
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States8366 Posts
February 16 2011 04:03 GMT
#5
Yea, he can be pretty obnoxious. For example, today after returning from not showering or brushing his teeth for at least 36 hours, I was like damn you smell like you need a shower.

His response? "Really?" At receiving yes for an answer, he comes up, starts flapping his arms up and down and goes "Oh yea I smell (I forget the adjective he used, but it was close to 'good' in meaning)"

And then he takes his shirt off and hangs it on the ceiling fan, and turns the fan on wtf retarded.
FragKrag
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
United States11567 Posts
February 16 2011 04:05 GMT
#6
lol what

thats fucking insane
*TL CJ Entusman #40* "like scissors does anything to paper except MAKE IT MORE NUMEROUS" -paper
EtherealDeath
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States8366 Posts
February 16 2011 04:05 GMT
#7
On February 16 2011 13:02 Licmyobelisk wrote:
wow man just say it to his face that his a fucking retard.


I have many times lol. His response is always something synonymous (to him) with "Oh yea I'm a rapist" or "boobie snacks". Reminds me of that character in The Twelve Chairs who comically has a vocabulary of 30 words.
dcberkeley
Profile Joined July 2009
Canada844 Posts
February 16 2011 04:06 GMT
#8
Your writing style is peculiar.
Moktira is da bomb
Lemonwalrus
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
United States5465 Posts
February 16 2011 04:06 GMT
#9
wtf is a kvetch?
EtherealDeath
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States8366 Posts
February 16 2011 04:08 GMT
#10
On February 16 2011 13:06 Lemonwalrus wrote:
wtf is a kvetch?


Slang derived from Yiddish which means to complain. Or alternatively, a person who complains.
Wolf
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Korea (South)3290 Posts
February 16 2011 04:09 GMT
#11
Get a new roommate. Threaten to kick him out of things don't change. Do it politely. Ask for a meeting of all roommates, talk about issues, and then let him know what's going on.

If you're at a University, either you're screwed, or maybe you can talk to some administration if it's THAT bad.
Commentatorhttp://twitter.com/proxywolf
TL+ Member
nineninja9
Profile Joined March 2010
United States194 Posts
February 16 2011 04:12 GMT
#12
There is no way you could willingly agree to room with him and not see this coming.
reincremate
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
China2216 Posts
February 16 2011 04:13 GMT
#13
I think most of us have heard of (or had) this kind of worthless roommate at some before, but your description was still entertaining.
Grobyc
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Canada18410 Posts
February 16 2011 04:14 GMT
#14
On February 16 2011 13:12 nineninja9 wrote:
There is no way you could willingly agree to room with him and not see this coming.

Yeah this came to mind too haha
If you watch Godzilla backwards it's about a benevolent lizard who helps rebuild a city and then moonwalks into the ocean.
EtherealDeath
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States8366 Posts
February 16 2011 04:17 GMT
#15
On February 16 2011 13:14 Grobyc wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 16 2011 13:12 nineninja9 wrote:
There is no way you could willingly agree to room with him and not see this coming.

Yeah this came to mind too haha


Somehow neither myself nor my other 2 roommates saw this coming. We were simply looking for a one year replacement for a roommate who went off to Russia for the year :/
Empyrean
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
17082 Posts
February 16 2011 04:20 GMT
#16
This has nothing to do with your blog post, but what the shit is Team Empyrean?
Moderator
Lemonwalrus
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
United States5465 Posts
February 16 2011 04:21 GMT
#17
The site is right in his sig, copy paste that shit bro
thehorsebecomesking
Profile Joined February 2011
189 Posts
February 16 2011 04:22 GMT
#18
thought this was about getting together with a woman that already has a child. im upset
Empyrean
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
17082 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-02-16 04:25:39
February 16 2011 04:24 GMT
#19
On February 16 2011 13:21 Lemonwalrus wrote:
The site is right in his sig, copy paste that shit bro


I did, and I was horribly confused >_>

EDIT: I only wish they had better website design/layout <_<
Moderator
EtherealDeath
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States8366 Posts
February 16 2011 04:24 GMT
#20
On February 16 2011 13:20 Empyrean wrote:
This has nothing to do with your blog post, but what the shit is Team Empyrean?


We are your fan team Yue

Just another team Although, I did think holy shit Empyrean made his own team at first.
1 2 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
IntoTheTV X SOOP
20:00
Premier - Group C
ByuN vs Lambo
MaxPax vs Bunny
IntoTheiNu 1250
WardiTV756
TKL 157
Rex137
CranKy Ducklings86
CranKy Ducklings SOOP10
LiquipediaDiscussion
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
TKL 157
Rex 137
StarCraft: Brood War
Britney 41811
Calm 9655
Bisu 1550
Horang2 887
actioN 810
Mini 708
Jaedong 628
Larva 582
EffOrt 528
BeSt 403
[ Show more ]
Hyuk 354
Light 333
Stork 308
Soma 293
firebathero 157
ggaemo 143
Barracks 114
Snow 105
Zeus 99
Hyun 83
Sea.KH 82
hero 75
Pusan 59
Killer 57
HiyA 49
Shinee 40
Sharp 38
Mong 36
ToSsGirL 36
Mind 33
Yoon 22
Movie 20
Shine 19
Bishop 18
Noble 12
Terrorterran 12
Sacsri 11
Sexy 10
yabsab 10
ajuk12(nOOB) 8
910 8
Icarus 7
zelot 6
Rock 4
Dota 2
Cr1tdota2563
Gorgc1295
XcaliburYe299
Counter-Strike
markeloff98
Heroes of the Storm
Trikslyr71
Other Games
B2W.Neo1123
olofmeister826
hiko643
Lowko323
crisheroes276
Pyrionflax238
Beastyqt208
RotterdaM61
DeMusliM1
Organizations
Counter-Strike
PGL25213
[ Show 10 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• Migwel
StarCraft: Brood War
• iopq 16
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
Dota 2
• WagamamaTV588
Upcoming Events
PiGosaur Cup
10h 43m
The PondCast
20h 43m
Kung Fu Cup
21h 43m
IntoTheTV X SOOP
1d 21h
SHIN vs GuMiho
Clem vs Classic
OSC
2 days
WardiTV Invitational
2 days
GSL
2 days
Epic.LAN
2 days
Replay Cast
3 days
Sparkling Tuna Cup
3 days
[ Show More ]
Epic.LAN
3 days
Yamato Cup
5 days
Map Test Tournament
5 days
WardiTV Weekly
5 days
Replay Cast
6 days
Rogue vs Classic
Patches Events
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Acropolis #5 - GSC
Blizzard Classic Cup 2026
HCC Season 3

Ongoing

Acropolis #5
KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 4
International ShieldBattery League
BSL Season 23
PGL Masters Bucharest 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 5
1win Private Club #2
Thunderpick World Champ. '26
ESL Pro League Season 24
Stake Ranked Episode 4
1win Private Club #1
Logitech G Play Connect 2026
SL StarSeries Fall 2026
FISSURE Playground #3
BLAST Open Fall 2026
Esports World Cup 2026

Upcoming

IPSL Winter 2026-27
SC4ALL II: Brood War
BSL 23: Non-Korean Championship
HSC XXX
Stellar Fest 2: Lunar Cup
SC4ALL II: StarCraft II
Kung Fu Cup 2026 Grand Finals
RSL Offline Finals
eXTREMESLAND 2026
PGL Major Singapore 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 6
BLAST Rivals Fall 2026
IEM Beijing 2026
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.