• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EST 03:26
CET 09:26
KST 17:26
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
[ASL22] Finals Preview: Sweet Victory!12[ASL22] Ro4 Preview: Mirror Mirror6[ASL22] Ro8 Preview: Within Reach5[ASL22] Ro8 Preview: In A Tizzy11[ASL22] Ro16 Preview: Holy Diver5
Community News
Dark completes military service, returns to SC28[BSL23] RO16 Group Stage19Weekly Cups (Nov 2-8): herO back on top?2Weekly Cups (Oct 26 - Nov 1): MaxPax, herO, Solar win0Weekly Cups (October 19-25): Clem triples first in 5.0.175
StarCraft 2
General
No more SC2 streamers on team liquid? Dark completes military service, returns to SC2 Greetings.. Serral's getting trashed by New Catsle's Mind Weekly Cups (Nov 2-8): herO back on top?
Tourneys
Dark returns! GSL CK #7 4v4 Team Battle (Nov 19) Sea Duckling Open (Global, Bronze-Diamond) soO & FanTaSy return! SC2 Kevin Scrim 4v4 (Nov 16) RSL goes to London! 2026 Offline Finals Nov 21-22 Tasteless Time Warp: SC Evo Showmatch (May 25)
Strategy
[H] ZvP Mid-Late Game: Stalkers Collossi HT
Custom Maps
[G] How to playtest arcade maps Starcraft 2 Advance [D] the control group Simple Questions/Answers
External Content
The PondCast: SC2 News & Results Mutation # 551 Robotic Revival Mutation # 550 Graveyard Shift Mutation # 549 Endless Sparkles
Brood War
General
List of top players active on ShieldBattery BW General Discussion Recommended BW Settings for Mouse and Video Starcraft:Brood War Discord Servers [BSL23] RO16 Group Stage
Tourneys
Bisu's Team vs Shuttle's Team 2026-11-14 2v2v2v2 Tournament Stage 1: Community Poll [BSL23] Ro16 Group C - Sunday 21:00 CET Small VOD Thread 2.0
Strategy
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Pluto's TvP 5Marine 2Medic Push Infested Terran strategies in 2026 Nuke strategy worked in K-League 2026-11-09
Other Games
General Games
Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Nintendo Switch Thread Free Space RTS Game, optimised f. Phone/Tablet etc List of Game Threads The PlayStation 5
Dota 2
Can Game Data Analytics Help Players Improvements
League of Legends
[TL LoL EUW IHs] Teemo shall perish
Heroes of the Storm
Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug
TL Mafia
TL Mafia Community Thread
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread Trading/Investing Thread European Politico-economics QA Mega-thread Russo-Ukrainian War Thread Dating: How's your luck?
Fan Clubs
Fan Club Resource Thread Reynor Fan Club The Flash Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
Movie Discussion! Anime Discussion Thread [Manga] One Piece
Sports
TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023 Football (Soccer) Thread MLB/Baseball 2023
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread
TL Community
The Automated Ban List Recent Gifted Posts
Blogs
The time I organised my…
AssyrianKing
Why I built Repalyzer (1.1.…
BlueStar
Innovate or Game Over?
TrAiDoS
ShieldBattery on Mac
Kraekkling
Can Bots Beat Pros?? Starcr…
namkraft
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 11275 users

To have a kid that's not yours

Blogs > EtherealDeath
Post a Reply
1 2 Next All
EtherealDeath
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States8366 Posts
February 16 2011 03:37 GMT
#1
I've heard people say that having a child changes your perspective on many things and helps mature you - or rather, you're forced to mature. I don't know what that's like, and in a way I am grateful for that since I doubt I am ready for it.

Anyways, it is utterly curious to me that something like it has happened anyways. As you may or may not know, my apartment happens to hold 3 members of the UNC CSL team. But, there is also a 4th person. This person is of immense interest. We shall alternatively refer to him as Proberto, or otherwise as Roarby.

May this kvetching entertain you.

Ah Roarby, why are you always 2-5 weeks late on rent.
Ah Roarby, must you wail so loudly in anguish whilst playing poker during the early hours of the morning. Good thing letting you play poker for a bit on my desktop weened you off playing poker on your laptop!

Once upon a time, Proberto prepared to leave Aiur under direction and verbal agreement to take the trash to Char. Five minutes later, he indeed left Aiur, but without the trash.

Ah Roarby, it is a good thing that you think 60+ hours without showering might introduce a probability of showering being necessary. Alas, upon realization that you took a shower ~36 hours ago, you declare yourself of the utmost olfactory delight. Let's just forget the fact that over the same time period, no brushing of the teeth took place.

Ok, my format sucks. Last kvetch before returning to the whole having a kid theme - it is often super embarassing being near Roarby in public. You see, he absolutely loves the terms "boobies" and "boobie snacks". Yep, he says them all the time. Including in public, at restaurants, etc. He especially loves to use them when he feels that he is being a rapist, etc. In fact, empirically, it seems that "oh yea I'm a rapist" and "boobie snacks" are synonymous.

Oh, and before I forget. Once, he was like "what a nigger" about 3 feet in front of a group of african americans. Who were looking towards him at the time. And he was looking right at them in return. God save me from this T_T

Without getting into more private roarbies of Roarby, it feels like having a kid, except I didn't, and he's obviously not mine. Somehow we have a 20 year old with the mannerisms of a 5 year old mixed with half the mind of a 40 year old hentai. It's a curious mix.

tl;dr Halp I'm way too young for this shit.

p.s. This is a (hopefully) less shitty version of the kvetch a roommate of mine posted earlier

And... I just realized "this" is a permutation of "shit"

Basically, wtf halp how do you convince this guy he is fucking retarded and have him change to be less retarded.



****
Ushio
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Canada868 Posts
February 16 2011 04:00 GMT
#2
You can't really cure idiocy but you could tell him to clean up his act or get up. A 40 year old hentai? Uhh ok lol. You could always act like hes not there, but hes probably too obnoxious to do so. GL
http://myanimelist.net/profile/billng
nineninja9
Profile Joined March 2010
United States194 Posts
February 16 2011 04:02 GMT
#3
Pancakes are a polarizing subject.
Licmyobelisk
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
Philippines3682 Posts
February 16 2011 04:02 GMT
#4
wow man just say it to his face that his a fucking retard.
I don't think I've ever wished my opponent good luck prior to a game. When I play, I play to win. I hope every opponent I ever have is cursed with fucking terrible luck. I hope they're stuck playing underneath a stepladder with a black cat in attendance a
EtherealDeath
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States8366 Posts
February 16 2011 04:03 GMT
#5
Yea, he can be pretty obnoxious. For example, today after returning from not showering or brushing his teeth for at least 36 hours, I was like damn you smell like you need a shower.

His response? "Really?" At receiving yes for an answer, he comes up, starts flapping his arms up and down and goes "Oh yea I smell (I forget the adjective he used, but it was close to 'good' in meaning)"

And then he takes his shirt off and hangs it on the ceiling fan, and turns the fan on wtf retarded.
FragKrag
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
United States11567 Posts
February 16 2011 04:05 GMT
#6
lol what

thats fucking insane
*TL CJ Entusman #40* "like scissors does anything to paper except MAKE IT MORE NUMEROUS" -paper
EtherealDeath
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States8366 Posts
February 16 2011 04:05 GMT
#7
On February 16 2011 13:02 Licmyobelisk wrote:
wow man just say it to his face that his a fucking retard.


I have many times lol. His response is always something synonymous (to him) with "Oh yea I'm a rapist" or "boobie snacks". Reminds me of that character in The Twelve Chairs who comically has a vocabulary of 30 words.
dcberkeley
Profile Joined July 2009
Canada844 Posts
February 16 2011 04:06 GMT
#8
Your writing style is peculiar.
Moktira is da bomb
Lemonwalrus
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
United States5465 Posts
February 16 2011 04:06 GMT
#9
wtf is a kvetch?
EtherealDeath
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States8366 Posts
February 16 2011 04:08 GMT
#10
On February 16 2011 13:06 Lemonwalrus wrote:
wtf is a kvetch?


Slang derived from Yiddish which means to complain. Or alternatively, a person who complains.
Wolf
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Korea (South)3290 Posts
February 16 2011 04:09 GMT
#11
Get a new roommate. Threaten to kick him out of things don't change. Do it politely. Ask for a meeting of all roommates, talk about issues, and then let him know what's going on.

If you're at a University, either you're screwed, or maybe you can talk to some administration if it's THAT bad.
Commentatorhttp://twitter.com/proxywolf
TL+ Member
nineninja9
Profile Joined March 2010
United States194 Posts
February 16 2011 04:12 GMT
#12
There is no way you could willingly agree to room with him and not see this coming.
reincremate
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
China2216 Posts
February 16 2011 04:13 GMT
#13
I think most of us have heard of (or had) this kind of worthless roommate at some before, but your description was still entertaining.
Grobyc
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Canada18410 Posts
February 16 2011 04:14 GMT
#14
On February 16 2011 13:12 nineninja9 wrote:
There is no way you could willingly agree to room with him and not see this coming.

Yeah this came to mind too haha
If you watch Godzilla backwards it's about a benevolent lizard who helps rebuild a city and then moonwalks into the ocean.
EtherealDeath
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States8366 Posts
February 16 2011 04:17 GMT
#15
On February 16 2011 13:14 Grobyc wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 16 2011 13:12 nineninja9 wrote:
There is no way you could willingly agree to room with him and not see this coming.

Yeah this came to mind too haha


Somehow neither myself nor my other 2 roommates saw this coming. We were simply looking for a one year replacement for a roommate who went off to Russia for the year :/
Empyrean
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
17083 Posts
February 16 2011 04:20 GMT
#16
This has nothing to do with your blog post, but what the shit is Team Empyrean?
Moderator
Lemonwalrus
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
United States5465 Posts
February 16 2011 04:21 GMT
#17
The site is right in his sig, copy paste that shit bro
thehorsebecomesking
Profile Joined February 2011
189 Posts
February 16 2011 04:22 GMT
#18
thought this was about getting together with a woman that already has a child. im upset
Empyrean
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
17083 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-02-16 04:25:39
February 16 2011 04:24 GMT
#19
On February 16 2011 13:21 Lemonwalrus wrote:
The site is right in his sig, copy paste that shit bro


I did, and I was horribly confused >_>

EDIT: I only wish they had better website design/layout <_<
Moderator
EtherealDeath
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States8366 Posts
February 16 2011 04:24 GMT
#20
On February 16 2011 13:20 Empyrean wrote:
This has nothing to do with your blog post, but what the shit is Team Empyrean?


We are your fan team Yue

Just another team Although, I did think holy shit Empyrean made his own team at first.
1 2 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Next event in 1h 35m
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
ProTech144
StarCraft: Brood War
Horang2 12647
Shuttle 3713
Rain 1802
BeSt 604
Hyuk 151
Mong 63
Killer 55
Bale 54
NaDa 19
ZergMaN 17
[ Show more ]
sOs 17
LuMiX 5
yabsab 5
League of Legends
JimRising 542
Counter-Strike
fl0m3077
kennyS473
SPUNJ105
Other Games
summit1g11434
WinterStarcraft411
C9.Mang0243
Sick140
NeuroSwarm82
ViBE49
Lowko42
[ Show 9 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• practicex 39
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• Migwel
StarCraft: Brood War
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
Upcoming Events
CranKy Ducklings
1h 35m
WardiTV Invitational
3h 35m
ByuN vs SHIN
MaxPax vs Solar
Clem vs TBD
herO vs TBD
Lambo vs TBD
Rogue vs TBD
IPSL
8h 35m
TerrOr vs IJ_Terran
rasowy vs Hazorath
BSL
11h 35m
TerrOr vs OyAji
UltrA vs Gosudark
Sparkling Tuna Cup
1d 1h
WardiTV Invitational
1d 3h
IPSL
1d 8h
Art_Of_Turtle vs KameZerg
Radley vs George
BSL
1d 11h
Artosis vs Dewalt
Ret vs Tech
SOOP
2 days
WardiTV Weekly
2 days
[ Show More ]
Monday Night Weeklies
3 days
PiGosaur Cup
3 days
The PondCast
4 days
GSL
5 days
Replay Cast
5 days
KCM Race Survival
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Proleague 2026-11-12
Blizzard Classic Cup 2026
HCC Season 3

Ongoing

Acropolis #5
KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 4
International ShieldBattery League
Individual League
BSL Season 23
IPSL Winter 2026-27
Calamity Cup Div. A Season 8
Underdog Cup 2026 Div 2-3
BLAST Rivals Fall 2026
IEM Beijing 2026
PGL Masters Bucharest 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 5
1win Private Club #2
Thunderpick World Champ. '26
ESL Pro League Season 24
Stake Ranked Episode 4
1win Private Club #1
Logitech G Play Connect 2026
SL StarSeries Fall 2026
FISSURE Playground #3
BLAST Open Fall 2026

Upcoming

YSL S4
Sector 591
SC4ALL II: Brood War
BSL 23: Non-Korean Championship
HSC XXX
Stellar Fest 2: Lunar Cup
StarCraft2 Weekly Open Tournament 2026 Grand Finals
SC4ALL II: StarCraft II
Kung Fu Cup 2026 Grand Finals
RSL Offline Finals
IEM Kraków 2027
PGL Bucharest 2027
BLAST Bounty Winter 2027
PGL Major Singapore 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 6
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.