• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 03:31
CEST 09:31
KST 16:31
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
Serral wins Maestros of the Game 227ByuL, and the Limitations of Standard Play3Team Liquid Map Contest #22: Results and Winners7Code S Season 2 (2026): RO4 and Finals Preview12TL.net Map Contest #22 - Voting & Ladder Map Selection7
Community News
Weekly Cups (June 29-July 5): Solar Doubles0MC vs IdrA, Boxer vs Nal_rA to be Legacy Matches @ BlizzCon415.0.16 Hotfix (June 30) - Balance + Bug Fixes40Weekly Cups (June 22-28): Zergs thrive in new patch5[TLMC] Summer 2026 Ladder Map Rotation0
StarCraft 2
General
Serral wins Maestros of the Game 2 Is the larve respawn broken? 5.0.16 patch for SC2 goes live (8 worker start) 5.0.16 Hotfix (June 30) - Balance + Bug Fixes Weekly Cups (June 29-July 5): Solar Doubles
Tourneys
Crank Gathers Season 4: BW vs SC2 Team League GSL CK #5 Race War HomeStory Cup 29 RSL Revival: Season 6 - Qualifiers and Main Event Vespene Cup #1 — $300+ USD, July 10
Strategy
[G] Having the right mentality to improve
Custom Maps
New Map Maker - Looking for Advice - Love or Hate Work In Progress Melee Maps [D]RTS in all its shapes and glory <3
External Content
Mutation # 533 Die Together The PondCast: SC2 News & Results Mutation # 532 Nuclear Family Mutation # 531 Experimental Artillery
Brood War
General
Snow On New ASL S22 Map, Zerg Nerf BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ BW General Discussion Starcraft vs Retro Category on Twitch Data needed
Tourneys
CSLAN 4 is Coming! Escore Tournament StarCraft Season 2 The Casual Games of the Week Thread [Megathread] Daily Proleagues
Strategy
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Creating a full chart of Zerg builds Relatively freeroll strategies Why doesn't anyone use restoration?
Other Games
General Games
Dawn of War IV Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Summer Games Done Quick 2026! Nintendo Switch Thread ZeroSpace at Steam NextFest - Last free demo
Dota 2
Looking for a Dota Mentor Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug
TL Mafia
NeO.D_StephenKing vs This Guy From 1 Million Dance TL Mafia Community Thread TL Mafia Power Rank Vanilla Mini Mafia
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread Russo-Ukrainian War Thread UK Politics Mega-thread YouTube Thread Canadian Politics Mega-thread
Fan Clubs
The HerO Fan Club!
Media & Entertainment
Anime Discussion Thread Movie Discussion! Series you have seen recently... [Req][Books] Good Fantasy/SciFi books [TV/BOOK] *SPOILERS* Game of Thrones Discussion
Sports
2024 - 2026 Football Thread Tennis[sport] Formula 1 Discussion McBoner: A hockey love story TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
FPS when play League Of Legend on laptop How to clean a TTe Thermaltake keyboard? Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread
TL Community
The Automated Ban List
Blogs
Major Shifts in the Gaming I…
TrAiDoS
An Exploration of th…
waywardstrategy
I'm an arrogant trash talke…
FlaShFTW
Gauntlet SC2: A Retrospectiv…
Ctone23
ramps on octagon
StaticNine
Funny Nicknames
LUCKY_NOOB
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 7109 users

To have a kid that's not yours

Blogs > EtherealDeath
Post a Reply
1 2 Next All
EtherealDeath
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States8366 Posts
February 16 2011 03:37 GMT
#1
I've heard people say that having a child changes your perspective on many things and helps mature you - or rather, you're forced to mature. I don't know what that's like, and in a way I am grateful for that since I doubt I am ready for it.

Anyways, it is utterly curious to me that something like it has happened anyways. As you may or may not know, my apartment happens to hold 3 members of the UNC CSL team. But, there is also a 4th person. This person is of immense interest. We shall alternatively refer to him as Proberto, or otherwise as Roarby.

May this kvetching entertain you.

Ah Roarby, why are you always 2-5 weeks late on rent.
Ah Roarby, must you wail so loudly in anguish whilst playing poker during the early hours of the morning. Good thing letting you play poker for a bit on my desktop weened you off playing poker on your laptop!

Once upon a time, Proberto prepared to leave Aiur under direction and verbal agreement to take the trash to Char. Five minutes later, he indeed left Aiur, but without the trash.

Ah Roarby, it is a good thing that you think 60+ hours without showering might introduce a probability of showering being necessary. Alas, upon realization that you took a shower ~36 hours ago, you declare yourself of the utmost olfactory delight. Let's just forget the fact that over the same time period, no brushing of the teeth took place.

Ok, my format sucks. Last kvetch before returning to the whole having a kid theme - it is often super embarassing being near Roarby in public. You see, he absolutely loves the terms "boobies" and "boobie snacks". Yep, he says them all the time. Including in public, at restaurants, etc. He especially loves to use them when he feels that he is being a rapist, etc. In fact, empirically, it seems that "oh yea I'm a rapist" and "boobie snacks" are synonymous.

Oh, and before I forget. Once, he was like "what a nigger" about 3 feet in front of a group of african americans. Who were looking towards him at the time. And he was looking right at them in return. God save me from this T_T

Without getting into more private roarbies of Roarby, it feels like having a kid, except I didn't, and he's obviously not mine. Somehow we have a 20 year old with the mannerisms of a 5 year old mixed with half the mind of a 40 year old hentai. It's a curious mix.

tl;dr Halp I'm way too young for this shit.

p.s. This is a (hopefully) less shitty version of the kvetch a roommate of mine posted earlier

And... I just realized "this" is a permutation of "shit"

Basically, wtf halp how do you convince this guy he is fucking retarded and have him change to be less retarded.



****
Ushio
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Canada868 Posts
February 16 2011 04:00 GMT
#2
You can't really cure idiocy but you could tell him to clean up his act or get up. A 40 year old hentai? Uhh ok lol. You could always act like hes not there, but hes probably too obnoxious to do so. GL
http://myanimelist.net/profile/billng
nineninja9
Profile Joined March 2010
United States194 Posts
February 16 2011 04:02 GMT
#3
Pancakes are a polarizing subject.
Licmyobelisk
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
Philippines3682 Posts
February 16 2011 04:02 GMT
#4
wow man just say it to his face that his a fucking retard.
I don't think I've ever wished my opponent good luck prior to a game. When I play, I play to win. I hope every opponent I ever have is cursed with fucking terrible luck. I hope they're stuck playing underneath a stepladder with a black cat in attendance a
EtherealDeath
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States8366 Posts
February 16 2011 04:03 GMT
#5
Yea, he can be pretty obnoxious. For example, today after returning from not showering or brushing his teeth for at least 36 hours, I was like damn you smell like you need a shower.

His response? "Really?" At receiving yes for an answer, he comes up, starts flapping his arms up and down and goes "Oh yea I smell (I forget the adjective he used, but it was close to 'good' in meaning)"

And then he takes his shirt off and hangs it on the ceiling fan, and turns the fan on wtf retarded.
FragKrag
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
United States11567 Posts
February 16 2011 04:05 GMT
#6
lol what

thats fucking insane
*TL CJ Entusman #40* "like scissors does anything to paper except MAKE IT MORE NUMEROUS" -paper
EtherealDeath
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States8366 Posts
February 16 2011 04:05 GMT
#7
On February 16 2011 13:02 Licmyobelisk wrote:
wow man just say it to his face that his a fucking retard.


I have many times lol. His response is always something synonymous (to him) with "Oh yea I'm a rapist" or "boobie snacks". Reminds me of that character in The Twelve Chairs who comically has a vocabulary of 30 words.
dcberkeley
Profile Joined July 2009
Canada844 Posts
February 16 2011 04:06 GMT
#8
Your writing style is peculiar.
Moktira is da bomb
Lemonwalrus
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
United States5465 Posts
February 16 2011 04:06 GMT
#9
wtf is a kvetch?
EtherealDeath
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States8366 Posts
February 16 2011 04:08 GMT
#10
On February 16 2011 13:06 Lemonwalrus wrote:
wtf is a kvetch?


Slang derived from Yiddish which means to complain. Or alternatively, a person who complains.
Wolf
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Korea (South)3290 Posts
February 16 2011 04:09 GMT
#11
Get a new roommate. Threaten to kick him out of things don't change. Do it politely. Ask for a meeting of all roommates, talk about issues, and then let him know what's going on.

If you're at a University, either you're screwed, or maybe you can talk to some administration if it's THAT bad.
Commentatorhttp://twitter.com/proxywolf
TL+ Member
nineninja9
Profile Joined March 2010
United States194 Posts
February 16 2011 04:12 GMT
#12
There is no way you could willingly agree to room with him and not see this coming.
reincremate
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
China2216 Posts
February 16 2011 04:13 GMT
#13
I think most of us have heard of (or had) this kind of worthless roommate at some before, but your description was still entertaining.
Grobyc
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Canada18410 Posts
February 16 2011 04:14 GMT
#14
On February 16 2011 13:12 nineninja9 wrote:
There is no way you could willingly agree to room with him and not see this coming.

Yeah this came to mind too haha
If you watch Godzilla backwards it's about a benevolent lizard who helps rebuild a city and then moonwalks into the ocean.
EtherealDeath
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States8366 Posts
February 16 2011 04:17 GMT
#15
On February 16 2011 13:14 Grobyc wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 16 2011 13:12 nineninja9 wrote:
There is no way you could willingly agree to room with him and not see this coming.

Yeah this came to mind too haha


Somehow neither myself nor my other 2 roommates saw this coming. We were simply looking for a one year replacement for a roommate who went off to Russia for the year :/
Empyrean
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
17070 Posts
February 16 2011 04:20 GMT
#16
This has nothing to do with your blog post, but what the shit is Team Empyrean?
Moderator
Lemonwalrus
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
United States5465 Posts
February 16 2011 04:21 GMT
#17
The site is right in his sig, copy paste that shit bro
thehorsebecomesking
Profile Joined February 2011
189 Posts
February 16 2011 04:22 GMT
#18
thought this was about getting together with a woman that already has a child. im upset
Empyrean
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
17070 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-02-16 04:25:39
February 16 2011 04:24 GMT
#19
On February 16 2011 13:21 Lemonwalrus wrote:
The site is right in his sig, copy paste that shit bro


I did, and I was horribly confused >_>

EDIT: I only wish they had better website design/layout <_<
Moderator
EtherealDeath
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States8366 Posts
February 16 2011 04:24 GMT
#20
On February 16 2011 13:20 Empyrean wrote:
This has nothing to do with your blog post, but what the shit is Team Empyrean?


We are your fan team Yue

Just another team Although, I did think holy shit Empyrean made his own team at first.
1 2 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Next event in 1h 29m
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
SortOf 164
ProTech128
StarCraft: Brood War
Britney 39796
GuemChi 1947
Shuttle 655
Leta 575
Mong 410
actioN 332
ggaemo 79
ZergMaN 71
Aegong 57
yabsab 46
[ Show more ]
Bale 22
GoRush 17
Dewaltoss 13
League of Legends
Doublelift4330
JimRising 629
Counter-Strike
m0e_tv581
Super Smash Bros
Mew2King130
Other Games
summit1g6267
Happy246
NeuroSwarm119
Liquid`Ken12
Sick5
Organizations
Other Games
gamesdonequick24749
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
[ Show 15 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Migwel
• sooper7s
StarCraft: Brood War
• iopq 3
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
Dota 2
• lizZardDota269
League of Legends
• Jankos1402
• Stunt513
• HappyZerGling83
Upcoming Events
Replay Cast
1h 29m
CrankTV Team League
3h 29m
OSC
9h 29m
Replay Cast
16h 29m
Replay Cast
1d 2h
CrankTV Team League
1d 3h
OSC
1d 5h
Replay Cast
1d 16h
RSL Revival
2 days
Serral vs Bunny
ByuN vs GgMaChine
CranKy Ducklings
2 days
[ Show More ]
Afreeca Starleague
2 days
Snow vs Jaedong
YSC vs hero
RSL Revival
3 days
Solar vs Rogue
Maru vs NightMare
Sparkling Tuna Cup
3 days
GSL
4 days
Replay Cast
4 days
WardiTV Weekly
5 days
The PondCast
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

CSL Season 21: Qualifier 2
HSC XXIX
Eternal Conflict S2 E1

Ongoing

IPSL Spring 2026
Acropolis #4
YSL S3
CSL 2026 Summer (S21)
CranK Gathers Season 4: BW vs SC2 Team League
SCTL 2026 Spring
Heroes Pulsing #3
XSE Pro League 2026
IEM Cologne Major 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 2
CS Asia Championships 2026
Asian Champions League 2026
IEM Atlanta 2026
PGL Astana 2026
BLAST Rivals Spring 2026

Upcoming

Escore Tournament S3: W2
ASL Season 22: Wild Card Qualifier
CSLAN 4
Blizzard Classic Cup 2026
SC4ALL II: StarCraft II
Kung Fu Cup 2026 Grand Finals
RSL Revival: Season 6
Light Tournament 2026
Eternal Conflict S2 Finale
Eternal Conflict S2 E3
Eternal Conflict S2 E2
Logitech G Connect 2026
StarSeries Fall 2026
FISSURE Playground #5
BLAST Open Fall 2026
Esports World Cup 2026
BLAST Bounty Summer 2026
BLAST Bounty Summer Qual
Stake Ranked Episode 3
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.