• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EST 12:58
CET 18:58
KST 02:58
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
RSL Season 3 - RO16 Groups C & D Preview0RSL Season 3 - RO16 Groups A & B Preview2TL.net Map Contest #21: Winners12Intel X Team Liquid Seoul event: Showmatches and Meet the Pros10[ASL20] Finals Preview: Arrival13
Community News
[TLMC] Fall/Winter 2025 Ladder Map Rotation13Weekly Cups (Nov 3-9): Clem Conquers in Canada4SC: Evo Complete - Ranked Ladder OPEN ALPHA8StarCraft, SC2, HotS, WC3, Returning to Blizzcon!45$5,000+ WardiTV 2025 Championship7
StarCraft 2
General
[TLMC] Fall/Winter 2025 Ladder Map Rotation Mech is the composition that needs teleportation t RotterdaM "Serral is the GOAT, and it's not close" RSL Season 3 - RO16 Groups C & D Preview TL.net Map Contest #21: Winners
Tourneys
RSL Revival: Season 3 Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament Constellation Cup - Main Event - Stellar Fest Tenacious Turtle Tussle Master Swan Open (Global Bronze-Master 2)
Strategy
Custom Maps
Map Editor closed ?
External Content
Mutation # 499 Chilling Adaptation Mutation # 498 Wheel of Misfortune|Cradle of Death Mutation # 497 Battle Haredened Mutation # 496 Endless Infection
Brood War
General
FlaSh on: Biggest Problem With SnOw's Playstyle BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ What happened to TvZ on Retro? SnOw's ASL S20 Finals Review BW General Discussion
Tourneys
[Megathread] Daily Proleagues Small VOD Thread 2.0 [BSL21] RO32 Group D - Sunday 21:00 CET [BSL21] RO32 Group C - Saturday 21:00 CET
Strategy
PvZ map balance Current Meta Simple Questions, Simple Answers How to stay on top of macro?
Other Games
General Games
Path of Exile Clair Obscur - Expedition 33 Should offensive tower rushing be viable in RTS games? Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Nintendo Switch Thread
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
TL Mafia Community Thread SPIRED by.ASL Mafia {211640}
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine Russo-Ukrainian War Thread Artificial Intelligence Thread Canadian Politics Mega-thread
Fan Clubs
White-Ra Fan Club The herO Fan Club!
Media & Entertainment
Movie Discussion! [Manga] One Piece Anime Discussion Thread Korean Music Discussion Series you have seen recently...
Sports
2024 - 2026 Football Thread Formula 1 Discussion NBA General Discussion MLB/Baseball 2023 TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
SC2 Client Relocalization [Change SC2 Language] Linksys AE2500 USB WIFI keeps disconnecting Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread
TL Community
The Automated Ban List
Blogs
Dyadica Gospel – a Pulp No…
Hildegard
Coffee x Performance in Espo…
TrAiDoS
Saturation point
Uldridge
DnB/metal remix FFO Mick Go…
ImbaTosS
Reality "theory" prov…
perfectspheres
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 1909 users

To have a kid that's not yours

Blogs > EtherealDeath
Post a Reply
1 2 Next All
EtherealDeath
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States8366 Posts
February 16 2011 03:37 GMT
#1
I've heard people say that having a child changes your perspective on many things and helps mature you - or rather, you're forced to mature. I don't know what that's like, and in a way I am grateful for that since I doubt I am ready for it.

Anyways, it is utterly curious to me that something like it has happened anyways. As you may or may not know, my apartment happens to hold 3 members of the UNC CSL team. But, there is also a 4th person. This person is of immense interest. We shall alternatively refer to him as Proberto, or otherwise as Roarby.

May this kvetching entertain you.

Ah Roarby, why are you always 2-5 weeks late on rent.
Ah Roarby, must you wail so loudly in anguish whilst playing poker during the early hours of the morning. Good thing letting you play poker for a bit on my desktop weened you off playing poker on your laptop!

Once upon a time, Proberto prepared to leave Aiur under direction and verbal agreement to take the trash to Char. Five minutes later, he indeed left Aiur, but without the trash.

Ah Roarby, it is a good thing that you think 60+ hours without showering might introduce a probability of showering being necessary. Alas, upon realization that you took a shower ~36 hours ago, you declare yourself of the utmost olfactory delight. Let's just forget the fact that over the same time period, no brushing of the teeth took place.

Ok, my format sucks. Last kvetch before returning to the whole having a kid theme - it is often super embarassing being near Roarby in public. You see, he absolutely loves the terms "boobies" and "boobie snacks". Yep, he says them all the time. Including in public, at restaurants, etc. He especially loves to use them when he feels that he is being a rapist, etc. In fact, empirically, it seems that "oh yea I'm a rapist" and "boobie snacks" are synonymous.

Oh, and before I forget. Once, he was like "what a nigger" about 3 feet in front of a group of african americans. Who were looking towards him at the time. And he was looking right at them in return. God save me from this T_T

Without getting into more private roarbies of Roarby, it feels like having a kid, except I didn't, and he's obviously not mine. Somehow we have a 20 year old with the mannerisms of a 5 year old mixed with half the mind of a 40 year old hentai. It's a curious mix.

tl;dr Halp I'm way too young for this shit.

p.s. This is a (hopefully) less shitty version of the kvetch a roommate of mine posted earlier

And... I just realized "this" is a permutation of "shit"

Basically, wtf halp how do you convince this guy he is fucking retarded and have him change to be less retarded.



****
Ushio
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Canada868 Posts
February 16 2011 04:00 GMT
#2
You can't really cure idiocy but you could tell him to clean up his act or get up. A 40 year old hentai? Uhh ok lol. You could always act like hes not there, but hes probably too obnoxious to do so. GL
http://myanimelist.net/profile/billng
nineninja9
Profile Joined March 2010
United States194 Posts
February 16 2011 04:02 GMT
#3
Pancakes are a polarizing subject.
Licmyobelisk
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
Philippines3682 Posts
February 16 2011 04:02 GMT
#4
wow man just say it to his face that his a fucking retard.
I don't think I've ever wished my opponent good luck prior to a game. When I play, I play to win. I hope every opponent I ever have is cursed with fucking terrible luck. I hope they're stuck playing underneath a stepladder with a black cat in attendance a
EtherealDeath
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States8366 Posts
February 16 2011 04:03 GMT
#5
Yea, he can be pretty obnoxious. For example, today after returning from not showering or brushing his teeth for at least 36 hours, I was like damn you smell like you need a shower.

His response? "Really?" At receiving yes for an answer, he comes up, starts flapping his arms up and down and goes "Oh yea I smell (I forget the adjective he used, but it was close to 'good' in meaning)"

And then he takes his shirt off and hangs it on the ceiling fan, and turns the fan on wtf retarded.
FragKrag
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
United States11554 Posts
February 16 2011 04:05 GMT
#6
lol what

thats fucking insane
*TL CJ Entusman #40* "like scissors does anything to paper except MAKE IT MORE NUMEROUS" -paper
EtherealDeath
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States8366 Posts
February 16 2011 04:05 GMT
#7
On February 16 2011 13:02 Licmyobelisk wrote:
wow man just say it to his face that his a fucking retard.


I have many times lol. His response is always something synonymous (to him) with "Oh yea I'm a rapist" or "boobie snacks". Reminds me of that character in The Twelve Chairs who comically has a vocabulary of 30 words.
dcberkeley
Profile Joined July 2009
Canada844 Posts
February 16 2011 04:06 GMT
#8
Your writing style is peculiar.
Moktira is da bomb
Lemonwalrus
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
United States5465 Posts
February 16 2011 04:06 GMT
#9
wtf is a kvetch?
EtherealDeath
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States8366 Posts
February 16 2011 04:08 GMT
#10
On February 16 2011 13:06 Lemonwalrus wrote:
wtf is a kvetch?


Slang derived from Yiddish which means to complain. Or alternatively, a person who complains.
Wolf
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Korea (South)3290 Posts
February 16 2011 04:09 GMT
#11
Get a new roommate. Threaten to kick him out of things don't change. Do it politely. Ask for a meeting of all roommates, talk about issues, and then let him know what's going on.

If you're at a University, either you're screwed, or maybe you can talk to some administration if it's THAT bad.
Commentatorhttp://twitter.com/proxywolf
TL+ Member
nineninja9
Profile Joined March 2010
United States194 Posts
February 16 2011 04:12 GMT
#12
There is no way you could willingly agree to room with him and not see this coming.
reincremate
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
China2216 Posts
February 16 2011 04:13 GMT
#13
I think most of us have heard of (or had) this kind of worthless roommate at some before, but your description was still entertaining.
Grobyc
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Canada18410 Posts
February 16 2011 04:14 GMT
#14
On February 16 2011 13:12 nineninja9 wrote:
There is no way you could willingly agree to room with him and not see this coming.

Yeah this came to mind too haha
If you watch Godzilla backwards it's about a benevolent lizard who helps rebuild a city and then moonwalks into the ocean.
EtherealDeath
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States8366 Posts
February 16 2011 04:17 GMT
#15
On February 16 2011 13:14 Grobyc wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 16 2011 13:12 nineninja9 wrote:
There is no way you could willingly agree to room with him and not see this coming.

Yeah this came to mind too haha


Somehow neither myself nor my other 2 roommates saw this coming. We were simply looking for a one year replacement for a roommate who went off to Russia for the year :/
Empyrean
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
17017 Posts
February 16 2011 04:20 GMT
#16
This has nothing to do with your blog post, but what the shit is Team Empyrean?
Moderator
Lemonwalrus
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
United States5465 Posts
February 16 2011 04:21 GMT
#17
The site is right in his sig, copy paste that shit bro
thehorsebecomesking
Profile Joined February 2011
189 Posts
February 16 2011 04:22 GMT
#18
thought this was about getting together with a woman that already has a child. im upset
Empyrean
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
17017 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-02-16 04:25:39
February 16 2011 04:24 GMT
#19
On February 16 2011 13:21 Lemonwalrus wrote:
The site is right in his sig, copy paste that shit bro


I did, and I was horribly confused >_>

EDIT: I only wish they had better website design/layout <_<
Moderator
EtherealDeath
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States8366 Posts
February 16 2011 04:24 GMT
#20
On February 16 2011 13:20 Empyrean wrote:
This has nothing to do with your blog post, but what the shit is Team Empyrean?


We are your fan team Yue

Just another team Although, I did think holy shit Empyrean made his own team at first.
1 2 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Next event in 2h 3m
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
TKL 402
RotterdaM 351
IndyStarCraft 159
SteadfastSC 144
BRAT_OK 61
Railgan 55
Vindicta 20
MindelVK 6
StarCraft: Brood War
Britney 22057
Horang2 1437
GuemChi 571
firebathero 146
Dewaltoss 88
Mong 51
yabsab 37
zelot 21
scan(afreeca) 15
Dota 2
Gorgc6943
qojqva2251
League of Legends
Reynor85
Counter-Strike
fl0m1186
pashabiceps311
Heroes of the Storm
Khaldor572
Other Games
B2W.Neo136
Beastyqt43
Organizations
Dota 2
PGL Dota 2 - Main Stream11699
Other Games
EGCTV1123
gamesdonequick125
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 19 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• Reevou 6
• davetesta5
• Migwel
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• sooper7s
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
StarCraft: Brood War
• HerbMon 16
• FirePhoenix10
• blackmanpl 9
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
• BSLYoutube
Dota 2
• Ler89
Other Games
• imaqtpie777
• WagamamaTV456
• Shiphtur214
Upcoming Events
BSL 21
2h 3m
JDConan vs Semih
Dragon vs Dienmax
Tech vs NewOcean
TerrOr vs Artosis
IPSL
2h 3m
Dewalt vs WolFix
eOnzErG vs Bonyth
Replay Cast
5h 3m
Wardi Open
18h 3m
Monday Night Weeklies
23h 3m
Replay Cast
1d 5h
WardiTV Korean Royale
1d 18h
BSL: GosuLeague
2 days
The PondCast
2 days
Replay Cast
3 days
[ Show More ]
RSL Revival
3 days
BSL: GosuLeague
4 days
RSL Revival
4 days
WardiTV Korean Royale
4 days
RSL Revival
5 days
WardiTV Korean Royale
5 days
IPSL
5 days
Julia vs Artosis
JDConan vs DragOn
RSL Revival
6 days
Wardi Open
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Proleague 2025-11-14
Stellar Fest: Constellation Cup
Eternal Conflict S1

Ongoing

C-Race Season 1
IPSL Winter 2025-26
KCM Race Survival 2025 Season 4
SOOP Univ League 2025
YSL S2
BSL Season 21
CSCL: Masked Kings S3
SLON Tour Season 2
RSL Revival: Season 3
META Madness #9
BLAST Rivals Fall 2025
IEM Chengdu 2025
PGL Masters Bucharest 2025
Thunderpick World Champ.
CS Asia Championships 2025
ESL Pro League S22
StarSeries Fall 2025
FISSURE Playground #2
BLAST Open Fall 2025

Upcoming

BSL 21 Non-Korean Championship
Acropolis #4
IPSL Spring 2026
HSC XXVIII
RSL Offline Finals
WardiTV 2025
IEM Kraków 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter 2026: Closed Qualifier
eXTREMESLAND 2025
ESL Impact League Season 8
SL Budapest Major 2025
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2025 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.