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I may have just done something incredibily stupid. - Page 2

Blogs > Kerotan
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Navane
Profile Blog Joined February 2007
Netherlands2748 Posts
February 14 2011 09:42 GMT
#21
Maybe the other guy is bisexual too and you can be in heaven?
a176
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada6688 Posts
February 14 2011 09:51 GMT
#22
being a man means not hiding behind anything and grabbing life by the balls

it doesnt matter if youre gay, straight, or bi. you can be man enough to admit and accept homosexuality. you can be man enough to tell other people about it. so why scared to accept hetero tendencies?

as far as the girl goes. im not sure about your past relationship experience, but believe me. you will always fall for other people if you dont find love with one person. you dont need to feel you have to put all your eggs in one basket. to be successful in relationship you need to be not scared of direct confrontation. there is no shame in admitting you like someone.
starleague forever
MacroNcheesE
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States508 Posts
February 14 2011 10:12 GMT
#23
On February 14 2011 18:51 a176 wrote:
being a man means not hiding behind anything and grabbing life by the balls



That's not "being a man" that's being happy and content.
Doubt is the venom that has paralyzed humanity.
yourwhiteshadow
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States442 Posts
February 14 2011 10:15 GMT
#24
On February 14 2011 18:37 Belial88 wrote:
Show nested quote +
Also i do have contingency plans for when it all goes wrong, and I'm bad at counting, hopefully it goes wrong, it will only be awkward for a while as I tell her shit like, "I can't help how I feel" and then shit will return to normality.


...right. Girls find it SO hot that a guy has to have contingency plans just to say I like you. God forbid you guys ever have passionate sex one day (girls do think about this...). Really on the bad foot here, confront her *like a man*. It takes balls, and the more balls it takes the more she respects you. Even if you trick her into dating some unattractive, nonspontaneous 'coward' she'll be miserable, and break up when she figures it out. Show her your faults, your insecurities, your goofyness, and she'll love you all the more for it. She will find out sooner or later.

Just sounds like you don't have the balls to be with this girl, she's clearly too much woman for you to handle, am I wrong? I'm not trying to be a dick, but there are clear gender roles in man/feman relationships. Take charge. And she's your friend, I can't believe you'd be this roundabout and deceptive to your best friend. You really think she'll like these games?

What do you expect to happen? Oh, you like me and aren't gay, sweet let me break up with my good boyfriend to date you. No. No!

Tell her how you feel, and it's clear where things are. Just be honest about what's going on. Take control of the situation. Never, ever force a girl to ask you out. By writing her a letter you're forcing her to make the decision of being with you or not (past an approving smile). A woman likes to be asked out, to be given attention. Don't *EVER* play the role of the woman, don't ever put her in the position to figure it out. Because if a woman has to ask a man out, chances are she won't find it worth it.

And yea, i get it. some woman ask men out blah blah blah. You really need to figure woman out, and if you had the experience I'd tell you that maybe this boyfriend isn't an issue at all. Treat her like she isn't dating anyone. But you clearly aren't at that level, so just tell her how you feel honestly, and do your thing while you wait for her to have her fill of sex with this guy, get bored, and jump to you. Or you can handle the situation. Or, you can just leave it, wish her happy, and when the time comes, be there - and it won't be creepy because she'll know you like her and waiting for her.

Jesus, at least if you don't listen to me just realize the mistake in a letter. Just GOOGLE if it ever worked. Ask girls at your job, or school "hey, has a guy ever written you a love letter?"


umm LOL. i hate to be blunt, but this person is right on the money. writing a letter was what i did in elementary school. then in middle school i had a friend ask out some girl for me, that didn't go too well. i remember girls telling me that getting asked out to a dance by text was super lame, so i'm not sure if confessing love via a letter is such a great idea. besides, if you talk in person you can pretty much read girls by using certain words and seeing their reaction, and you can play it safe that way. girls like to be told "i love you" in person if possible, if not in person then at least on the phone. text and letters don't even count in this day and age. it might have been chivalrous like 90 years ago. i would highly suggest you talk to her...in person.
Technical Director, Si Media Production, simediapro.com
Sayle
Profile Joined October 2010
United Kingdom3685 Posts
February 14 2011 10:41 GMT
#25
These "love letters are creepy and bad" replies make me sad. Are you telling me that all those high school romance anime lied to me? T_T

And Kerotan. This is why you should be more like me. Spend your Valentine's day doing ICCup work and bemoaning the single life with Spec.
guN-viCe
Profile Joined March 2010
United States687 Posts
February 14 2011 11:58 GMT
#26
I wrote love letters to my GF and vice-versa when I was 14-16. Worked for us

Of course we talked in person too, but it's a good way to let express yourself fully, without interruption.
Never give up, never surrender!!! ~~ Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence -Sagan
KurtistheTurtle
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States1966 Posts
February 14 2011 12:12 GMT
#27
thats risky, and really romantic. i remember when i left a letter in a gal's locker in 8th grade (but i put it in the wrong one LOL!) it still worked then. good luck, im rooting for you.

On February 14 2011 18:37 Belial88 wrote:
Show nested quote +
Also i do have contingency plans for when it all goes wrong, and I'm bad at counting, hopefully it goes wrong, it will only be awkward for a while as I tell her shit like, "I can't help how I feel" and then shit will return to normality.


...right. Girls find it SO hot that a guy has to have contingency plans just to say I like you. God forbid you guys ever have passionate sex one day (girls do think about this...). Really on the bad foot here, confront her *like a man*. It takes balls, and the more balls it takes the more she respects you. Even if you trick her into dating some unattractive, nonspontaneous 'coward' she'll be miserable, and break up when she figures it out. Show her your faults, your insecurities, your goofyness, and she'll love you all the more for it. She will find out sooner or later.

...

What do you expect to happen? Oh, you like me and aren't gay, sweet let me break up with my good boyfriend to date you. No. No!

...

Jesus, at least if you don't listen to me just realize the mistake in a letter. Just GOOGLE if it ever worked. Ask girls at your job, or school "hey, has a guy ever written you a love letter?"

watch out, your insecurity is showing through. go somewhere else dick.
“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears."
KurtistheTurtle
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States1966 Posts
February 14 2011 12:19 GMT
#28
On February 14 2011 19:15 yourwhiteshadow wrote:
umm LOL. i hate to be blunt, but this person is right on the money. writing a letter was what i did in elementary school. then in middle school i had a friend ask out some girl for me, that didn't go too well. i remember girls telling me that getting asked out to a dance by text was super lame, so i'm not sure if confessing love via a letter is such a great idea. besides, if you talk in person you can pretty much read girls by using certain words and seeing their reaction, and you can play it safe that way. girls like to be told "i love you" in person if possible, if not in person then at least on the phone. text and letters don't even count in this day and age. it might have been chivalrous like 90 years ago. i would highly suggest you talk to her...in person.

first, stop kicking a man when he's down. he's not looking for expert advice, he needs somebody to tell about whats on his mind at 6 am. you'd be nervous too.

second, a well-written passionate love-letter is something every woman secretly wants. if you don't have the balls behind it in the first place it won't work but if you do--its fucking gold. a love letter pulled off well is something a woman will remember the rest of her life and keep in a chest in the attic. do not bash the love letter because it didn't work for you. so what you wrote it in elementary school, love doesn't have an age limit.
“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears."
paper
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
13196 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-02-14 12:45:49
February 14 2011 12:19 GMT
#29
Confessing your love through a letter = wrong move

More likely than not, she's going to reject your feelings. By writing a letter, you obviously can't express your feelings to her face, so how is she going to respond back if you clearly don't like direct contact? Why would she be interested in someone who can't even articulate his thoughts to her? The housing situation will become extremely awkward with a vigilant boyfriend, and you'll probably lose most of your emotional ties with this girl.

On the off-chance that she does mirror your feelings, you'll still have to deal with the housing situation. Are you just going to kick out her new boyfriend? Do you really want to be with someone willing drop a new boyfriend like that?

Chasing girls is a waste of time, and chasing one girl is an even bigger waste of time. You should ignore your feelings for this one girl, verify your sexual orientation by going out and meeting other (attractive) girls/boys, and improve yourself (GYM, TAN, LAUNDRY) to build up confidence. You'll find a girl 10x better than this girl you know right now, guaranteed.
Hates Fun🤔
KurtistheTurtle
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States1966 Posts
February 14 2011 12:27 GMT
#30
i wonder how many more unsolicited replies will spit this same "what youre doing is wrong, improve yourself, go to gym buy better clothes date more women!"

well this IS the woman. the feelings are there, they're real, and hes acting on them in the best way he knows how. thats what going for it really means. stop spouting this shit, stop cutting at his knees, and whether it works or doesnt its better to have tried than to delude and procrastinate under the pretense of self-improvement
“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears."
Pathology
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
Canada132 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-02-14 12:41:37
February 14 2011 12:40 GMT
#31
There are some pretty harsh people in this thread. Everyone seems to be throwing advice left and right about what a nono it is to write letters and that he has to be a MAAAAAN! MY PENIS IS HUGEEEE! Seriously though, everyone seems to be making huge assumptions on the preferences of of the woman in question. While with the average woman a lot of these "be a man assert yourself" statements are not too far off the mark, is this girl average like them? Keraton, regardless of how you chose to do it, good on you for taking steps towards expressing yourself to her. This STUFF is always heavy and hard to deal with and you've done the hardest part by initiating. NOW JUST MAKE SURE YOU"RE IN A GOOD POSITION FOR ENGAGEMENT AND MICRO YOUR BALLS OFF! Give it all and even if it doesn't work out, you can still gg without regretting the things you never did ^^ GLHF!

*edit spelling* lolol 5am
No rest for the wicked
Sm3agol
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United States2055 Posts
February 14 2011 12:49 GMT
#32
Don't diss the love letter too hard. When it doesn't work, its usually because the sender is too much of a wuss to even talk to the girl in the first place. THAT is lame. But If you already know her well, then a love letter can be pure gold.......if she wants you.
Kerotan
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
England2109 Posts
February 14 2011 12:57 GMT
#33
While some of these criticisms make for pretty harsh reading I can't help but agree with at least some of them, especially since nothing as yet has happened, I missed the only lecture today where I was going to talk to her.
Right the outcome seems to be abject failure based on the lack of daily communication I get from her and from some of the more critical replies in thread.
Nerdette // External revolution - Internal revolution // Fabulous // I raise my hands to heaven of curiosity // I don't know what to ask for // What has it got for me? // Kerribear
DND_Enkil
Profile Joined September 2010
Sweden598 Posts
February 14 2011 12:58 GMT
#34
On February 14 2011 15:54 Kerotan wrote:
Now, I sit at my desk playing the waiting game, having walked the mile or so to her house.

This act could ruin my friendship with 4 people, then again I could be with someone I'm fucking crazy about.
Wish me luck, I'm going to need it.


Good luck!

Any update yet? Can't agree with writing a love letter, especially anonymously, but done is done. The die is cast.
"If you write about a sewing needle there is always some one-eyed bastard that gets offended" - Fritiof The Pirate Nilsson
paper
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
13196 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-02-14 13:03:54
February 14 2011 13:00 GMT
#35
On February 14 2011 21:27 KurtistheTurtle wrote:
i wonder how many more unsolicited replies will spit this same "what youre doing is wrong, improve yourself, go to gym buy better clothes date more women!"

well this IS the woman. the feelings are there, they're real, and hes acting on them in the best way he knows how. thats what going for it really means. stop spouting this shit, stop cutting at his knees, and whether it works or doesnt its better to have tried than to delude and procrastinate under the pretense of self-improvement


The chance that writing a love letter to a girl from a guy she perceived as gay actually works is extremely slim. When would she have ever had the opportunity to develop feelings for him? They're instantly shot down when she remembers that he's fucking gay. Here's an exercise for you: recall the last time you were hanging out with your best male friend(s) and contemplated how much you would love them if they were the opposite sex. You can't.

He's essentially putting her on a pedestal by giving her complete control of the situation and ultimately his feelings. His immediate future is at her whim. Tell me, does he display any self-respect or confidence by doing that? There are better ways of going about this than writing a love letter, like improving himself and his confidence and letting girls chase him instead.
Hates Fun🤔
DND_Enkil
Profile Joined September 2010
Sweden598 Posts
February 14 2011 13:02 GMT
#36
On February 14 2011 21:57 Kerotan wrote:
Right the outcome seems to be abject failure based on the lack of daily communication I get from her and from some of the more critical replies in thread.


Love letters usually fail, but your case are so bloody unique so i doubt no one here has had the exact same thing happened.

Still wishing you good luck, if you have not heard anything by the end of the day i would reccomend texting her and telling her you would like to speak to her and ask her to come over.
"If you write about a sewing needle there is always some one-eyed bastard that gets offended" - Fritiof The Pirate Nilsson
jlim
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Spain943 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-02-14 13:33:19
February 14 2011 13:32 GMT
#37
oh, you all are so wise...

just be sincere to her no matter in what fashion you do so and you'll have done your 100%. if she likes you she'll start something with you and if she doesn't, she'll reject you. as easy as that.

if she's worthy she will feel the sincerity of your words and will answer you back with the same sincerity. if she falls for any of the many strats, tricks and role-playing attitudes displayed by my fellow liquidians maybe she's not worth your devotion, unless you're contented with that, of course.

anyways, your choice.

P.S: why the anonymous? in the letter I mean
6xy
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
Philippines51 Posts
February 14 2011 14:07 GMT
#38
Kerotan FAAAAAIGHTING!!!!

good luck bro, as courage wolf says, only the right one will say "yes"
zerg, zerg everywhere.
quirinus
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
Croatia2489 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-02-14 14:17:28
February 14 2011 14:16 GMT
#39
That took balls. Good luck man.

edit: btw, please update
All candles lit within him, and there was purity. | First auto-promoted BW LP editor.
mesohawny
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Canada193 Posts
February 14 2011 15:46 GMT
#40
leaving an anonymous letter is a great way to get a girl /end sarcasm...

Really, my bet is that she thinks her boyfriend wrote it and she'll probably give him a sloppy BJ now... success.
love you long time
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