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■go to china, become an english *therapist*.
■Not an english teacher, mind you, there are plenty of those around. screw that, go be the friend of someone in china who is sad. lonely. oppressed.
■case in point: walk around financial street in Beijing any fine monday morning. do you see a lot of smiles? if you do, wait a week, it's probably a holiday.
■requirements: you don't have to be white. but you do have to have a sense of humor. have patience. be willing to agree with the complaints of chinese upper-middle class white collar workers (here's a hint: they revolve around salary, housing prices, and anomie). nod. nod a lot.
■tactic: go for people of the opposite gender. hang out with them. be their friend on call. bill them 200RMB/hr. show up to their alumni reunion parties. and always communicate in english.
■success point: when they cry in front of you. when they stare wistfully into a bottle of wine that they paid for, ask you to keep drinking with them, and then cry some more. when she whines about looking too attractive. when she tells you about how bad she feels for fucking the head of the investment banking department, while wondering whether her workaholic boyfriend knows, and longing for that one guy back in her hometown that actually liked her--but never amounted to shit.
■to note: keep it professional. keep it cool. don't sleep with her. treat it like the silent hill movie, not the silent hill video game. instead, just hold her bags in the marc jacobs store. answer her texts on time. but set an eleven o clock curfew. offer to help her quit smoking and leave china. offer to write her mba application to columbia... for a fee.
■when you finally leave and never look back, pick out grammar errors in the long sad email she sent you, but don't tell her how you feel. because without the mystery, would she pay you?
EDIT:
Updated with pic
![[image loading]](http://hd35.xiaonei.com/photos/hd35/20080723/14/05/large_2199o150.jpg)
 
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I have a hard time working out what this is about
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more just a bitter, cynical reflection on three months in china than anything else
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well. do you get payed enough for it?
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you're making around 30 bucks an hour untaxed in china talking to bored girl bankers who are kind of cute, and on top of it you get free dinners and wine thrown in.
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So you were a gigolo in China? How did you get to this job?
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You want me to smash her in the face with a tier iron and set her kids on fire? What kind of madman are you?
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On February 08 2011 06:11 Hynda wrote:
You want me to smash her in the face with a tier iron and set her kids on fire? What kind of madman are you?
what?
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ya how did you get this job lol!
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On February 08 2011 06:08 MrRicewife wrote:
So you were a gigolo in China? How did you get to this job?
wasn't really a gigolo, more just a paid friend
the thing is, it kind of broke my faith in how i thought people would befriend and trust each other, and made realize that a lot of it just the same bullshit all around
we just hate to be alone, and it's such a glaring weakness. i thought human beings were stronger than that
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On February 08 2011 06:12 Typho0n wrote:
ya how did you get this job lol!
go to dbteacher.com, make an online profile, put in stuff like "will help with finance interviews" or "can advance your professional career"... you'll get the right crowd
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On February 08 2011 06:14 l0st_romantic wrote:Show nested quote +On February 08 2011 06:08 MrRicewife wrote:
So you were a gigolo in China? How did you get to this job? wasn't really a gigolo, more just a paid friend the thing is, it kind of broke my faith in how i thought people would befriend and trust each other, and made realize that a lot of it just the same bullshit all around we just hate to be alone, and it's such a glaring weakness. i thought human beings were stronger than that
Humans are predictable and that makes them stupid. It is a shame you found this fact out later than earlier, but as you said, lesson learned 
By the way, some of us love to be alone. They have even classified it as a disorder: AVPD
Maybe you are realizing you are a misanthropist. Nothing wrong with that my friend, to tell you the truth, it's almost sick to NOT hate humanity.
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I taught English in a private cram school in Guangzhou, it was stupid easy.
Too bad I got rolled by a con artist on the original placement, otherwise I could have made some serious bank.
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are you serious and actually doing this or are you talking out of your ass? How long did it take you to build this up? How did you find your clients?
What about going all the way to escort business? Any info on that?
What kind of a visa do you have?
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This sounds like an awesome job, I'd like to do it.
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On February 08 2011 06:28 indecision wrote:
are you serious and actually doing this or are you talking out of your ass? How long did it take you to build this up? How did you find your clients?
What about going all the way to escort business? Any info on that?
What kind of a visa do you have?
Serious
took about a month to meet two people who were kind of cool, and it built up to four by the end of three months.
and i never slept with them, because you don't want to get wrapped up in their fucked up personal lives. you just want to understand them, kind of like being their priest for confessional or whatever. it's kind of calming, in a way, because you know you're not in it for the game, you can be detached because you're just in it for the money, which ironically enough makes you a better listener
i didn't have any visa issues. again, to reiterate, this is not about sleeping with them. in fact, i never did. it's about learning to spend time listening to people and realizing that holy crap, you're not teach them english, you're being the one person in their lives who actually cares about them as a human being
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On February 08 2011 06:12 l0st_romantic wrote:Show nested quote +On February 08 2011 06:11 Hynda wrote:
You want me to smash her in the face with a tier iron and set her kids on fire? What kind of madman are you? what?
treat it like the silent hill movie
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Are you Asian or white?
Did you guys interact in English the whole time?
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On February 08 2011 06:28 indecision wrote:
are you serious and actually doing this or are you talking out of your ass? How long did it take you to build this up? How did you find your clients?
What about going all the way to escort business? Any info on that?
What kind of a visa do you have?
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2010/07/rent-a-white-guy/8119
I did this a couple of times in Huadu
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On February 08 2011 06:38 l0st_romantic wrote:
i didn't have any visa issues. again, to reiterate, this is not about sleeping with them. in fact, i never did. it's about learning to spend time listening to people and realizing that holy crap, you're not teach them english, you're being the one person in their lives who actually cares about them as a human being
That's really upsetting. What kind of world are they living if they have pay a stranger to be their only emotional anchor to life?
Can you explain a little better who these people were (jobs, social status, family position)?
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never heard about this, quite interesting
sorry for your bad experiences, but what were your expectations ?
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First of all this is not a chinese thing, it's a buisness thing. Second of all I don't see why people are so upset, it's such a natural thing to want. You don't want a friend, that's not the right word. You might end up as friends, but when you work you're working. You are there to not judge and care.
There are so many jobs out there that fill this description. You don't want to dump your shit on people so you hire someone that is supposed to be dumped on that makes it a hell of alot easier.
I had work over a summer when I was 15 doing the exact same thing only for the elderly.
You sat and listened, you comforted, you laughed, you cared and you didn't judge them for what they had done with their lives.
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What brought you to China in the first place?
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http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/profile.php?user=Last Romantic
Saving 20000 for something big?
I spent 5 months teaching english in Shanghai, at a private language school. From the sounds of it, my plan is less depressing and less drama. I rather loathe the kind of complex relationship you describe, so... thanks for the warning i guess?
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On February 08 2011 07:24 EdSlyB wrote:Show nested quote +On February 08 2011 06:38 l0st_romantic wrote:
i didn't have any visa issues. again, to reiterate, this is not about sleeping with them. in fact, i never did. it's about learning to spend time listening to people and realizing that holy crap, you're not teach them english, you're being the one person in their lives who actually cares about them as a human being That's really upsetting. What kind of world are they living if they have pay a stranger to be their only emotional anchor to life? Can you explain a little better who these people were (jobs, social status, family position)?
Mostly white collar professionals--software engineer, investment banker, insurance actuary, doctor.
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On February 08 2011 07:29 anatem wrote:
never heard about this, quite interesting
sorry for your bad experiences, but what were your expectations ?
Was just expecting to teach people how to interview lol. Did not expect that we would all end up talking about how much they hated their jobs and how they wanted to find that one guy that would make them complete inside
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On February 08 2011 07:40 Hynda wrote:
First of all this is not a chinese thing, it's a buisness thing. Second of all I don't see why people are so upset, it's such a natural thing to want. You don't want a friend, that's not the right word. You might end up as friends, but when you work you're working. You are there to not judge and care.
There are so many jobs out there that fill this description. You don't want to dump your shit on people so you hire someone that is supposed to be dumped on that makes it a hell of alot easier.
I had work over a summer when I was 15 doing the exact same thing only for the elderly.
You sat and listened, you comforted, you laughed, you cared and you didn't judge them for what they had done with their lives.
Yup, except it's a bit harder to be forgiving of these people because they're young, wealthy, successful, and in all ways much better off than the vast majority of Chinese folks
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On February 08 2011 07:40 Hynda wrote:
First of all this is not a chinese thing, it's a buisness thing. Second of all I don't see why people are so upset, it's such a natural thing to want. You don't want a friend, that's not the right word. You might end up as friends, but when you work you're working. You are there to not judge and care.
There are so many jobs out there that fill this description. You don't want to dump your shit on people so you hire someone that is supposed to be dumped on that makes it a hell of alot easier.
I had work over a summer when I was 15 doing the exact same thing only for the elderly.
You sat and listened, you comforted, you laughed, you cared and you didn't judge them for what they had done with their lives.
Cool, where can I find a job like this in America? I'm already an expert at sympathizing with the most unrelatable of humanity... What is this kind of job called? lol
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what if you are a female?
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i hope you at least hit it while you were there
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really it sounds like an actually pretty good job. You get paid and fed well and all you do is socialize. Maybe its a bit depressing at times but your there to help.
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ZOMG!! I cant believe its actually true! Wat a sad commentary on Chinese/East Asian cultural viewpoints as a whole..
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So, explain it to me again, perhaps more slowly, because I swear i cannot understand -
Why didn't you sleep with them again?
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On February 08 2011 08:56 Psycho_Gemni wrote:Show nested quote +On February 08 2011 07:40 Hynda wrote:
First of all this is not a chinese thing, it's a buisness thing. Second of all I don't see why people are so upset, it's such a natural thing to want. You don't want a friend, that's not the right word. You might end up as friends, but when you work you're working. You are there to not judge and care.
There are so many jobs out there that fill this description. You don't want to dump your shit on people so you hire someone that is supposed to be dumped on that makes it a hell of alot easier.
I had work over a summer when I was 15 doing the exact same thing only for the elderly.
You sat and listened, you comforted, you laughed, you cared and you didn't judge them for what they had done with their lives.
Cool, where can I find a job like this in America? I'm already an expert at sympathizing with the most unrelatable of humanity... What is this kind of job called? lol
Therapist. You can also work in a nursing home, or as a school counselor, etc. Although kids are a bit harder to deal with because they're easier to care about, since they have a presumption of innocence, unlike yuppies
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On February 08 2011 09:30 TadH wrote:
i hope you at least hit it while you were there
Honestly there were times when I was tempted. I remember teaching this banking associate. even though she had an MBA from a top 10 US business school she still requested that I teach her english once a week. we went to dinner a lot together.
![[image loading]](http://hdn101.rrimg.com/photos/hdn101/20081127/18/58/head_wNM2_117i000001.jpg)
once we were at a restaurant close by dawanglu in beijing, in this complex of midrise buildings that apparantly housed a bunch of chinese actors and actresses (imagine century city or wilshire in LA). at the table next to us, there was a couple--an actress, and a director, apparantly--and both were cheating on their husband and wife. We knew because they were calling their spouses from the dinner table while playing footsie. Both were using work as an excuse.
Something about that scene must have turned my student on because she tried to take me home that night. It was around that moment that I realized, if this is her fantasy, her real life must be worse than this. Around a week later she started talking about sleeping with her boss, and how her boss rarely took her out to dinner, outside of work...
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On February 08 2011 11:33 Comeh wrote:
So, explain it to me again, perhaps more slowly, because I swear i cannot understand -
Why didn't you sleep with them again?
I had a great girlfriend at the time, and didn't want to wreck that relationship for a one night stand. Also--you do this because we're all lonely. To tkae advantage of that... it's really not right
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I guess the bigger thing is that one can wonder--
Why are the richest segments of Chinese society so damn miserable?
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Sounds like a Matt Damon movie.
Anyway, I wouldn't get too cynical. You hit the perfect niche. People with high-paying jobs, but who remain unfulfilled by work and have no one to turn to. The entire world isn't like that.
PS. She's hot.
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On February 08 2011 09:13 instantdry wrote:
what if you are a female?
Become a hooker... what else?
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Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 08 2011 12:48 l0st_romantic wrote:
I guess the bigger thing is that one can wonder--
Why are the richest segments of Chinese society so damn miserable?
I think in context, it's the richest white collar segments that can be so miserable. Likely because they have everything they think they should have, but they are living a lifestyle which does a great job in sucking up their disposal income leaving them hostage to their jobs; coupled with a constant expectation that they should feel as happy as they are professionally successful.
The richest segments of non-white collared Chinese society seem pretty content to me when I see'em high rolling in Macau or out drinking/eating in Tokyo for a week.
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Now we're talking about the class-action lawsuit of one of Sequoia Cap's China portfolio companies.
Oh and she just broke up with latest boyfriend, some 34 year old PE guy
at least my cousin is collecting 200 RMB/hour off her lol
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Me: "And no doubt these deals, they're pretty demanding, right"
Her: "Hahahaha, they... how do you say it, they blow up my phone?"
Me: "Hahah, yeah, yeah... so they're like your boyfriends"
Her: "But they're more fulfilling than boyfriends"
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I'm pretty sure some already exist, but I bet a "friend/dating" website in China catered towards English-speakers would be bank with the right approach.
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On February 08 2011 12:37 l0st_romantic wrote:Show nested quote +On February 08 2011 11:33 Comeh wrote:
So, explain it to me again, perhaps more slowly, because I swear i cannot understand -
Why didn't you sleep with them again? I had a great girlfriend at the time, and didn't want to wreck that relationship for a one night stand.
Oh oh oh, alright. That's legit. You're excused  .
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so did I hear correctly that you were there for three months and never had any visa issues? Did you get the visa beforehand or how did you handle this?
How did you find an apartment?
I think I'm really gonna pull this off, not so much because I won't find a job, but it's gonna be great fun.
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On February 08 2011 15:09 MightyAtom wrote:Show nested quote +On February 08 2011 12:48 l0st_romantic wrote:
I guess the bigger thing is that one can wonder--
Why are the richest segments of Chinese society so damn miserable? I think in context, it's the richest white collar segments that can be so miserable. Likely because they have everything they think they should have, but they are living a lifestyle which does a great job in sucking up their disposal income leaving them hostage to their jobs; coupled with a constant expectation that they should feel as happy as they are professionally successful. The richest segments of non-white collared Chinese society seem pretty content to me when I see'em high rolling in Macau or out drinking/eating in Tokyo for a week.
It's pretty much the same across the whole of East Asia isn't it? People who don't can't dare to dream because they're afraid that they won't be able to take it if they crash down and go back to where they came from?
I can relate it to my experience, I know how to live hand-to-mouth because I've taught myself frugality, but I just can't see any of my friends or batchmates being able to live their lives without playing poker or clubbing or treating themselves to indulgences in food. For them, once they keep on moving up and they have to sacrifice those things to earn more, they'll feel it even more missing from them.
*and shit being such a cheapskate is part and parcel of why I suck*
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On February 08 2011 23:38 indecision wrote:
so did I hear correctly that you were there for three months and never had any visa issues? Did you get the visa beforehand or how did you handle this?
How did you find an apartment?
I think I'm really gonna pull this off, not so much because I won't find a job, but it's gonna be great fun.
I am a Chinese citizen (US Green Card), but I think this is doable with a student visa (since some of my friends have pulled this off as well). Or you can look into getting a work visa through an English teaching agency and then just find your own students on the side.
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oh well, there's always the slight risk that they crack down on you for working w/o a working permit.
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On February 08 2011 06:14 l0st_romantic wrote:Show nested quote +On February 08 2011 06:08 MrRicewife wrote:
So you were a gigolo in China? How did you get to this job? wasn't really a gigolo, more just a paid friend the thing is, it kind of broke my faith in how i thought people would befriend and trust each other, and made realize that a lot of it just the same bullshit all around we just hate to be alone, and it's such a glaring weakness. i thought human beings were stronger than that
The need to not be alone is humanity's greatest strength. It's the driving force behind civilization itself. Don't knock it like that, if it wasn't for that need we'd all be hoarders and murderers openly killing and pillaging instead of doing all of that same stuff but on the down low.
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On February 09 2011 09:16 Zim23 wrote:Show nested quote +On February 08 2011 06:14 l0st_romantic wrote:On February 08 2011 06:08 MrRicewife wrote:
So you were a gigolo in China? How did you get to this job? wasn't really a gigolo, more just a paid friend the thing is, it kind of broke my faith in how i thought people would befriend and trust each other, and made realize that a lot of it just the same bullshit all around we just hate to be alone, and it's such a glaring weakness. i thought human beings were stronger than that The need to not be alone is humanity's greatest strength. It's the driving force behind civilization itself. Don't knock it like that, if it wasn't for that need we'd all be hoarders and murderers openly killing and pillaging instead of doing all of that same stuff but on the down low.
True, and good point. People need to stick together. It is a strength, but on the same end, it's such a primal, addictive need that it often behaves as a double-edged sword. On the Division of Labor in Society, Durkheim's seminal work, wrote of that pretty well.
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On February 08 2011 12:52 MayorITC wrote:
Sounds like a Matt Damon movie.
Anyway, I wouldn't get too cynical. You hit the perfect niche. People with high-paying jobs, but who remain unfulfilled by work and have no one to turn to. The entire world isn't like that.
PS. She's hot.
Yep, she is.
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There were others too, but not all of them went to Greece to sail on a client's yacht lol
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On February 09 2011 01:47 l0st_romantic wrote:Show nested quote +On February 08 2011 23:38 indecision wrote:
so did I hear correctly that you were there for three months and never had any visa issues? Did you get the visa beforehand or how did you handle this?
How did you find an apartment?
I think I'm really gonna pull this off, not so much because I won't find a job, but it's gonna be great fun. I am a Chinese citizen (US Green Card), but I think this is doable with a student visa (since some of my friends have pulled this off as well). Or you can look into getting a work visa through an English teaching agency and then just find your own students on the side.
So you're a chinese guy? Don't the Chinese people act really skeptical about you speaking English?
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On February 09 2011 16:25 StorkHwaiting wrote:Show nested quote +On February 09 2011 01:47 l0st_romantic wrote:On February 08 2011 23:38 indecision wrote:
so did I hear correctly that you were there for three months and never had any visa issues? Did you get the visa beforehand or how did you handle this?
How did you find an apartment?
I think I'm really gonna pull this off, not so much because I won't find a job, but it's gonna be great fun. I am a Chinese citizen (US Green Card), but I think this is doable with a student visa (since some of my friends have pulled this off as well). Or you can look into getting a work visa through an English teaching agency and then just find your own students on the side. So you're a chinese guy? Don't the Chinese people act really skeptical about you speaking English?
Nope, never had that happen to me. Mainly because I was dealing with educated white collar professionals, not people that needed a white face to presume english skill
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On February 08 2011 06:14 l0st_romantic wrote:go to dbteacher.com, make an online profile, put in stuff like "will help with finance interviews" or "can advance your professional career"... you'll get the right crowd
When you say that, are they expecting you to give them intimate knowledge of those interviews? Would you need to study up on said interviews before interacting with your "clients"?
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On February 17 2011 15:56 TOloseGT wrote:Show nested quote +On February 08 2011 06:14 l0st_romantic wrote:On February 08 2011 06:12 Typho0n wrote:
ya how did you get this job lol!
go to dbteacher.com, make an online profile, put in stuff like "will help with finance interviews" or "can advance your professional career"... you'll get the right crowd When you say that, are they expecting you to give them intimate knowledge of those interviews? Would you need to study up on said interviews before interacting with your "clients"?
Yeah, like walk them through how to answer technical finance questions in English (e.g. how to calculate DCF, why you would use EV/EBITDA and not EV/Net Income, what happens if you overstate depreciation by x million)
Although thats just a screen to make sure the guy/gal on the other end of the line can pay you good money (because if they're interested in answering that stuff in english, they probably can answer it in Chinese, which means they're probably making some good cash).
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EPT
