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■go to china, become an english *therapist*.
■Not an english teacher, mind you, there are plenty of those around. screw that, go be the friend of someone in china who is sad. lonely. oppressed.
■case in point: walk around financial street in Beijing any fine monday morning. do you see a lot of smiles? if you do, wait a week, it's probably a holiday.
■requirements: you don't have to be white. but you do have to have a sense of humor. have patience. be willing to agree with the complaints of chinese upper-middle class white collar workers (here's a hint: they revolve around salary, housing prices, and anomie). nod. nod a lot.
■tactic: go for people of the opposite gender. hang out with them. be their friend on call. bill them 200RMB/hr. show up to their alumni reunion parties. and always communicate in english.
■success point: when they cry in front of you. when they stare wistfully into a bottle of wine that they paid for, ask you to keep drinking with them, and then cry some more. when she whines about looking too attractive. when she tells you about how bad she feels for fucking the head of the investment banking department, while wondering whether her workaholic boyfriend knows, and longing for that one guy back in her hometown that actually liked her--but never amounted to shit.
■to note: keep it professional. keep it cool. don't sleep with her. treat it like the silent hill movie, not the silent hill video game. instead, just hold her bags in the marc jacobs store. answer her texts on time. but set an eleven o clock curfew. offer to help her quit smoking and leave china. offer to write her mba application to columbia... for a fee.
■when you finally leave and never look back, pick out grammar errors in the long sad email she sent you, but don't tell her how you feel. because without the mystery, would she pay you?
EDIT:
Updated with pic
![[image loading]](http://hd35.xiaonei.com/photos/hd35/20080723/14/05/large_2199o150.jpg)
 
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I have a hard time working out what this is about
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more just a bitter, cynical reflection on three months in china than anything else
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well. do you get payed enough for it?
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you're making around 30 bucks an hour untaxed in china talking to bored girl bankers who are kind of cute, and on top of it you get free dinners and wine thrown in.
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So you were a gigolo in China? How did you get to this job?
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You want me to smash her in the face with a tier iron and set her kids on fire? What kind of madman are you?
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On February 08 2011 06:11 Hynda wrote:
You want me to smash her in the face with a tier iron and set her kids on fire? What kind of madman are you?
what?
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ya how did you get this job lol!
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On February 08 2011 06:08 MrRicewife wrote:
So you were a gigolo in China? How did you get to this job?
wasn't really a gigolo, more just a paid friend
the thing is, it kind of broke my faith in how i thought people would befriend and trust each other, and made realize that a lot of it just the same bullshit all around
we just hate to be alone, and it's such a glaring weakness. i thought human beings were stronger than that
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On February 08 2011 06:12 Typho0n wrote:
ya how did you get this job lol!
go to dbteacher.com, make an online profile, put in stuff like "will help with finance interviews" or "can advance your professional career"... you'll get the right crowd
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On February 08 2011 06:14 l0st_romantic wrote:Show nested quote +On February 08 2011 06:08 MrRicewife wrote:
So you were a gigolo in China? How did you get to this job? wasn't really a gigolo, more just a paid friend the thing is, it kind of broke my faith in how i thought people would befriend and trust each other, and made realize that a lot of it just the same bullshit all around we just hate to be alone, and it's such a glaring weakness. i thought human beings were stronger than that
Humans are predictable and that makes them stupid. It is a shame you found this fact out later than earlier, but as you said, lesson learned 
By the way, some of us love to be alone. They have even classified it as a disorder: AVPD
Maybe you are realizing you are a misanthropist. Nothing wrong with that my friend, to tell you the truth, it's almost sick to NOT hate humanity.
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I taught English in a private cram school in Guangzhou, it was stupid easy.
Too bad I got rolled by a con artist on the original placement, otherwise I could have made some serious bank.
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are you serious and actually doing this or are you talking out of your ass? How long did it take you to build this up? How did you find your clients?
What about going all the way to escort business? Any info on that?
What kind of a visa do you have?
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This sounds like an awesome job, I'd like to do it.
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On February 08 2011 06:28 indecision wrote:
are you serious and actually doing this or are you talking out of your ass? How long did it take you to build this up? How did you find your clients?
What about going all the way to escort business? Any info on that?
What kind of a visa do you have?
Serious
took about a month to meet two people who were kind of cool, and it built up to four by the end of three months.
and i never slept with them, because you don't want to get wrapped up in their fucked up personal lives. you just want to understand them, kind of like being their priest for confessional or whatever. it's kind of calming, in a way, because you know you're not in it for the game, you can be detached because you're just in it for the money, which ironically enough makes you a better listener
i didn't have any visa issues. again, to reiterate, this is not about sleeping with them. in fact, i never did. it's about learning to spend time listening to people and realizing that holy crap, you're not teach them english, you're being the one person in their lives who actually cares about them as a human being
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On February 08 2011 06:12 l0st_romantic wrote:Show nested quote +On February 08 2011 06:11 Hynda wrote:
You want me to smash her in the face with a tier iron and set her kids on fire? What kind of madman are you? what?
treat it like the silent hill movie
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Are you Asian or white?
Did you guys interact in English the whole time?
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On February 08 2011 06:28 indecision wrote:
are you serious and actually doing this or are you talking out of your ass? How long did it take you to build this up? How did you find your clients?
What about going all the way to escort business? Any info on that?
What kind of a visa do you have?
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2010/07/rent-a-white-guy/8119
I did this a couple of times in Huadu
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On February 08 2011 06:38 l0st_romantic wrote:
i didn't have any visa issues. again, to reiterate, this is not about sleeping with them. in fact, i never did. it's about learning to spend time listening to people and realizing that holy crap, you're not teach them english, you're being the one person in their lives who actually cares about them as a human being
That's really upsetting. What kind of world are they living if they have pay a stranger to be their only emotional anchor to life?
Can you explain a little better who these people were (jobs, social status, family position)?
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EPT
