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Why Do We Fall For Sob Stories?

Blogs > Ferrose
Post a Reply
1 2 Next All
Ferrose
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United States11378 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-01-28 03:20:33
January 28 2011 03:16 GMT
#1
For my English class, we had to read an essay about this trend in society where people try to share their personal lives with strangers in order to obtain intimacy with them. The author basically thought that this is dumb, because just knowing a few facts about a person can't replace a lifetime of shared experiences. I agree with that, but I didn't really think that that stuff really happened.

But we have this TV show here called American Idol, where random people audition for a recording contract, basically. And on like every episode, they're like "WAIT UNTIL YOU HEAR THIS GUY'S AMAZING STORY!" And I always kinda shrugged it off. But after reading that essay, and seeing a video that a friend of mine posted to Facebook, I realized that this happens all the time.

The video was about a guy who auditioned on the show, named Chris. He said that his fiance got into an accident two months before they were supposed to be married, and suffered massive brain damage. I couldn't help but feel bad for the guy and the girl. But then I thought of the essay.

Here is the video in question:



So, we know that Chris is 26. He is engaged to a woman who suffered massive brain damage from an accident she suffered. We know that Chris takes care of his fiance since she can't get around. And we know next to nothing about the woman.

Why should we care? Maybe we can relate, but we still don't know the people. For all we know, his fiance was a total bitch and had it coming. I don't think that anyone could argue that their story isn't sad. But at the same time, how can we sympathize with someone we don't even know (ie a total stranger)?

What I'm asking is, why should this be aired? To me, it seems like a cheap attempt by the producers to get higher ratings by using Chris and his fiance to play to people's emotions.

Thoughts? Maybe I'm just too critcal/too much of a cynic D:

Edit: If anyone is curious, the essay is from a book called The Naked Crowd by Jeffrey Rosen.

*
@113candlemagic Office lady by day, lonely woman at night. | Official lolicon of thread 94273
Sc1pio
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States823 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-01-28 03:22:35
January 28 2011 03:22 GMT
#2
This post actually almost offends me.

The dude proposed to his fiance, and then she got into an accident. Instead of ditching her, he honors his commitment and takes care of her despite her state, and the conclusion you draw is "well maybe she might be a bitch"? Seriously? If he stayed, she was obviously fucking worth it. Who gives a shit if it's an attempt to drive emotions in viewers because a) his voice is good enough anyway and b) he fucking deserves every ounce of empathy derived from this.

In conclusion, you're being way too cynical and come off kind of assholish (not a word, I know) for it. Chill out, bro.

+ Show Spoiler +
YES I MAD


User was warned for this post
"In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, in the expert's there are few. " -Shunro Suzuki | fortuna fortes adiuvat
Blisse
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Canada3710 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-01-28 03:31:04
January 28 2011 03:24 GMT
#3
Because there are more than 6 billion other human beings in this world, and you need to see how they live to gain some perspective on your own life. Some stories just stand out and should actually change your outlook, unless you're being ignorant.



True story. This Chinese immigrant woman is an international badminton player. She moved to Canada. She is also fighting cancer. In the face of the chemo and intense work outs, she still has the time to complete extra English homework to improve her English. Maybe other students should finish their work as well, because you know, they probably don't have it as bad as her.
There is no one like you in the universe.
Ferrose
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United States11378 Posts
January 28 2011 03:25 GMT
#4
On January 28 2011 12:22 Sc1pio wrote:
This post actually almost offends me.

The dude proposed to his fiance, and then she got into an accident. Instead of ditching her, he honors his commitment and takes care of her despite her state, and the conclusion you draw is "well maybe she might be a bitch"? Seriously? If he stayed, she was obviously fucking worth it. Who gives a shit if it's an attempt to drive emotions in viewers because a) his voice is good enough anyway and b) he fucking deserves every ounce of empathy derived from this.

In conclusion, you're being way too cynical and come off kind of assholish (not a word, I know) for it. Chill out, bro.

+ Show Spoiler +
YES I MAD


That's what I'm trying to say. If the guy was my friend who I had known for a long time, I would feel terrible and do everything I could to help him. But to me, he's just some random guy. Why should I care?
@113candlemagic Office lady by day, lonely woman at night. | Official lolicon of thread 94273
Sc1pio
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States823 Posts
January 28 2011 03:27 GMT
#5
On January 28 2011 12:25 Ferrose wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 28 2011 12:22 Sc1pio wrote:
This post actually almost offends me.

The dude proposed to his fiance, and then she got into an accident. Instead of ditching her, he honors his commitment and takes care of her despite her state, and the conclusion you draw is "well maybe she might be a bitch"? Seriously? If he stayed, she was obviously fucking worth it. Who gives a shit if it's an attempt to drive emotions in viewers because a) his voice is good enough anyway and b) he fucking deserves every ounce of empathy derived from this.

In conclusion, you're being way too cynical and come off kind of assholish (not a word, I know) for it. Chill out, bro.

+ Show Spoiler +
YES I MAD


That's what I'm trying to say. If the guy was my friend who I had known for a long time, I would feel terrible and do everything I could to help him. But to me, he's just some random guy. Why should I care?


I hate to resort to personal attacks, but you're pretty much a textbook sociopath.

User was warned for this post
"In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, in the expert's there are few. " -Shunro Suzuki | fortuna fortes adiuvat
Ferrose
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United States11378 Posts
January 28 2011 03:28 GMT
#6
On January 28 2011 12:27 Sc1pio wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 28 2011 12:25 Ferrose wrote:
On January 28 2011 12:22 Sc1pio wrote:
This post actually almost offends me.

The dude proposed to his fiance, and then she got into an accident. Instead of ditching her, he honors his commitment and takes care of her despite her state, and the conclusion you draw is "well maybe she might be a bitch"? Seriously? If he stayed, she was obviously fucking worth it. Who gives a shit if it's an attempt to drive emotions in viewers because a) his voice is good enough anyway and b) he fucking deserves every ounce of empathy derived from this.

In conclusion, you're being way too cynical and come off kind of assholish (not a word, I know) for it. Chill out, bro.

+ Show Spoiler +
YES I MAD


That's what I'm trying to say. If the guy was my friend who I had known for a long time, I would feel terrible and do everything I could to help him. But to me, he's just some random guy. Why should I care?


I hate to resort to personal attacks, but you're pretty much a textbook sociopath.


See? Two posts, and you think you know me well enough to label me as a sociopath.
@113candlemagic Office lady by day, lonely woman at night. | Official lolicon of thread 94273
Deleted User 108965
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
1096 Posts
January 28 2011 03:30 GMT
#7
On January 28 2011 12:27 Sc1pio wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 28 2011 12:25 Ferrose wrote:
On January 28 2011 12:22 Sc1pio wrote:
This post actually almost offends me.

The dude proposed to his fiance, and then she got into an accident. Instead of ditching her, he honors his commitment and takes care of her despite her state, and the conclusion you draw is "well maybe she might be a bitch"? Seriously? If he stayed, she was obviously fucking worth it. Who gives a shit if it's an attempt to drive emotions in viewers because a) his voice is good enough anyway and b) he fucking deserves every ounce of empathy derived from this.

In conclusion, you're being way too cynical and come off kind of assholish (not a word, I know) for it. Chill out, bro.

+ Show Spoiler +
YES I MAD


That's what I'm trying to say. If the guy was my friend who I had known for a long time, I would feel terrible and do everything I could to help him. But to me, he's just some random guy. Why should I care?


I hate to resort to personal attacks, but you're pretty much a textbook sociopath.


actually he just is actually thinking deeper than just the surface. how does that make him a sociopath lol. everyone who wants to delve deeper into certain situations in life is a sociopath?
Disciple....Top 3 control in Clarion County
Sc1pio
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States823 Posts
January 28 2011 03:31 GMT
#8
On January 28 2011 12:28 Ferrose wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 28 2011 12:27 Sc1pio wrote:
On January 28 2011 12:25 Ferrose wrote:
On January 28 2011 12:22 Sc1pio wrote:
This post actually almost offends me.

The dude proposed to his fiance, and then she got into an accident. Instead of ditching her, he honors his commitment and takes care of her despite her state, and the conclusion you draw is "well maybe she might be a bitch"? Seriously? If he stayed, she was obviously fucking worth it. Who gives a shit if it's an attempt to drive emotions in viewers because a) his voice is good enough anyway and b) he fucking deserves every ounce of empathy derived from this.

In conclusion, you're being way too cynical and come off kind of assholish (not a word, I know) for it. Chill out, bro.

+ Show Spoiler +
YES I MAD


That's what I'm trying to say. If the guy was my friend who I had known for a long time, I would feel terrible and do everything I could to help him. But to me, he's just some random guy. Why should I care?


I hate to resort to personal attacks, but you're pretty much a textbook sociopath.


See? Two posts, and you think you know me well enough to label me as a sociopath.


Two posts outlining sociopathic behavior and I feel I should call you out on it. Your suggestion that we should not feel empathy for this couple is completely asinine and overly cynical to the point of sociopathy.
"In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, in the expert's there are few. " -Shunro Suzuki | fortuna fortes adiuvat
lyAsakura
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States1414 Posts
January 28 2011 03:36 GMT
#9
On January 28 2011 12:31 Sc1pio wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 28 2011 12:28 Ferrose wrote:
On January 28 2011 12:27 Sc1pio wrote:
On January 28 2011 12:25 Ferrose wrote:
On January 28 2011 12:22 Sc1pio wrote:
This post actually almost offends me.

The dude proposed to his fiance, and then she got into an accident. Instead of ditching her, he honors his commitment and takes care of her despite her state, and the conclusion you draw is "well maybe she might be a bitch"? Seriously? If he stayed, she was obviously fucking worth it. Who gives a shit if it's an attempt to drive emotions in viewers because a) his voice is good enough anyway and b) he fucking deserves every ounce of empathy derived from this.

In conclusion, you're being way too cynical and come off kind of assholish (not a word, I know) for it. Chill out, bro.

+ Show Spoiler +
YES I MAD


That's what I'm trying to say. If the guy was my friend who I had known for a long time, I would feel terrible and do everything I could to help him. But to me, he's just some random guy. Why should I care?


I hate to resort to personal attacks, but you're pretty much a textbook sociopath.


See? Two posts, and you think you know me well enough to label me as a sociopath.


Two posts outlining sociopathic behavior and I feel I should call you out on it. Your suggestion that we should not feel empathy for this couple is completely asinine and overly cynical to the point of sociopathy.


I don't think anybody really does truly give a fuck, tbh.
WeMade FOX would be a deadly SC2 team.
Anxiety
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States650 Posts
January 28 2011 03:37 GMT
#10
I still feel for these random strangers, but i really don't like it when someone who is obviously a better contestant loses because someone had something sad happen to them.
Ferrose
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United States11378 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-01-28 03:39:15
January 28 2011 03:38 GMT
#11
On January 28 2011 12:36 whitelynx wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 28 2011 12:31 Sc1pio wrote:
On January 28 2011 12:28 Ferrose wrote:
On January 28 2011 12:27 Sc1pio wrote:
On January 28 2011 12:25 Ferrose wrote:
On January 28 2011 12:22 Sc1pio wrote:
This post actually almost offends me.

The dude proposed to his fiance, and then she got into an accident. Instead of ditching her, he honors his commitment and takes care of her despite her state, and the conclusion you draw is "well maybe she might be a bitch"? Seriously? If he stayed, she was obviously fucking worth it. Who gives a shit if it's an attempt to drive emotions in viewers because a) his voice is good enough anyway and b) he fucking deserves every ounce of empathy derived from this.

In conclusion, you're being way too cynical and come off kind of assholish (not a word, I know) for it. Chill out, bro.

+ Show Spoiler +
YES I MAD


That's what I'm trying to say. If the guy was my friend who I had known for a long time, I would feel terrible and do everything I could to help him. But to me, he's just some random guy. Why should I care?


I hate to resort to personal attacks, but you're pretty much a textbook sociopath.


See? Two posts, and you think you know me well enough to label me as a sociopath.


Two posts outlining sociopathic behavior and I feel I should call you out on it. Your suggestion that we should not feel empathy for this couple is completely asinine and overly cynical to the point of sociopathy.


I don't think anybody really does truly give a fuck, tbh.


I disagree. Look at the comments on the video. Almost every single one is about how the poster cried or was inspired or how Chris is a hero.


On January 28 2011 12:37 Anxiety wrote:
I still feel for these random strangers, but i really don't like it when someone who is obviously a better contestant loses because someone had something sad happen to them.


That's another thing. It can skew the results of the show. People will say "I'm voting for this guy because I feel bad for what happened to his fiance."
@113candlemagic Office lady by day, lonely woman at night. | Official lolicon of thread 94273
huameng
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
United States1133 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-01-28 03:45:45
January 28 2011 03:43 GMT
#12
On January 28 2011 12:31 Sc1pio wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 28 2011 12:28 Ferrose wrote:
On January 28 2011 12:27 Sc1pio wrote:
On January 28 2011 12:25 Ferrose wrote:
On January 28 2011 12:22 Sc1pio wrote:
This post actually almost offends me.

The dude proposed to his fiance, and then she got into an accident. Instead of ditching her, he honors his commitment and takes care of her despite her state, and the conclusion you draw is "well maybe she might be a bitch"? Seriously? If he stayed, she was obviously fucking worth it. Who gives a shit if it's an attempt to drive emotions in viewers because a) his voice is good enough anyway and b) he fucking deserves every ounce of empathy derived from this.

In conclusion, you're being way too cynical and come off kind of assholish (not a word, I know) for it. Chill out, bro.

+ Show Spoiler +
YES I MAD


That's what I'm trying to say. If the guy was my friend who I had known for a long time, I would feel terrible and do everything I could to help him. But to me, he's just some random guy. Why should I care?


I hate to resort to personal attacks, but you're pretty much a textbook sociopath.


See? Two posts, and you think you know me well enough to label me as a sociopath.


Two posts outlining sociopathic behavior and I feel I should call you out on it. Your suggestion that we should not feel empathy for this couple is completely asinine and overly cynical to the point of sociopathy.


Really, not caring about some random sob story on TV makes you a textbook sociopath? Who wrote the textbook, you? Hopefully the qualifications are a little stricter than that!

Ferrose: American Idol has more goals than to identify the best amateur singer in the world or whatever they are doing, one of which is to make money. It's not really a cheap attempt to boost ratings just because you barely know the guy's life. You would know even less if they didn't tell you this, right? It's not a dirty underhanded tactic to try to make a connection between audience and contestant and they can't show a lifetime of experiences so they tell the saddest, most dramatic stories.
skating
Sc1pio
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States823 Posts
January 28 2011 03:44 GMT
#13
On January 28 2011 12:38 Ferrose wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 28 2011 12:37 Anxiety wrote:
I still feel for these random strangers, but i really don't like it when someone who is obviously a better contestant loses because someone had something sad happen to them.


That's another thing. It can skew the results of the show. People will say "I'm voting for this guy because I feel bad for what happened to his fiance."


Yes, God forbid the wrong person wins American Idol because he's going through shit and people feel sorry for him.
"In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, in the expert's there are few. " -Shunro Suzuki | fortuna fortes adiuvat
Ferrose
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United States11378 Posts
January 28 2011 03:46 GMT
#14
On January 28 2011 12:44 Sc1pio wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 28 2011 12:38 Ferrose wrote:
On January 28 2011 12:37 Anxiety wrote:
I still feel for these random strangers, but i really don't like it when someone who is obviously a better contestant loses because someone had something sad happen to them.


That's another thing. It can skew the results of the show. People will say "I'm voting for this guy because I feel bad for what happened to his fiance."


Yes, God forbid the wrong person wins American Idol because he's going through shit and people feel sorry for him.


Doesn't it make more sense for the most talented contestant to win? This guy is definitely good, but no one should win a multi-million dollar recording contract just because people feel bad for him.

Disclaimer: This is the only audition I've seen from this season, so for all I know he is the best contestant :x
@113candlemagic Office lady by day, lonely woman at night. | Official lolicon of thread 94273
Deleted User 108965
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
1096 Posts
January 28 2011 03:48 GMT
#15
On January 28 2011 12:44 Sc1pio wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 28 2011 12:38 Ferrose wrote:
On January 28 2011 12:37 Anxiety wrote:
I still feel for these random strangers, but i really don't like it when someone who is obviously a better contestant loses because someone had something sad happen to them.


That's another thing. It can skew the results of the show. People will say "I'm voting for this guy because I feel bad for what happened to his fiance."


Yes, God forbid the wrong person wins American Idol because he's going through shit and people feel sorry for him.


as douchey as it sounds, that isnt the point of the competition, so that would be overall a bad thing unless he truly is the most talented singer. what if we elected government officials that way? yes its a different thing, but the same ethics should apply
Disciple....Top 3 control in Clarion County
Plexa
Profile Blog Joined October 2005
Aotearoa39261 Posts
January 28 2011 03:55 GMT
#16
Perhaps I'm cold and heartless, but exactly like the OP I really don't care about sob stories like this. With two key exceptions:
- I know the person
- The person is going through something that I've experienced myself or someone close to me has experienced

Perhaps its because then I can really tell how they're feeling and what they're going through. I don't know
Administrator~ Spirit will set you free ~
Cloud
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
Sexico5880 Posts
January 28 2011 03:57 GMT
#17
People who tell stories to be pitied are pathetic. If you want to bond then have the other person be interested in you not feel sorry for you.
BlueLaguna on West, msg for game.
Sc1pio
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States823 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-01-28 03:59:27
January 28 2011 03:57 GMT
#18
My point wasn't that the most talented contestant shouldn't win, my point was that it's asinine to argue we shouldn't care about someone's fiance going through a terrible accident and instead make sure tha the results of a TV singing competition are accurate.
"In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, in the expert's there are few. " -Shunro Suzuki | fortuna fortes adiuvat
ndralcasid
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States524 Posts
January 28 2011 03:57 GMT
#19
This is something I do sometimes do think about. Honestly, it's a very much big media vs. real life thing.

I agree with your points pretty much, however, I've accepted that emotional stories as a regular trope in general media. When it comes to media, sob stories attract attention. However, when it becomes obvious when they try to milk it for all its worth. that's when there is a problem
I aint crying over some daggone danishes
Roe
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Canada6002 Posts
January 28 2011 04:03 GMT
#20
On January 28 2011 12:16 Ferrose wrote:
For my English class, we had to read an essay about this trend in society where people try to share their personal lives with strangers in order to obtain intimacy with them. The author basically thought that this is dumb, because just knowing a few facts about a person can't replace a lifetime of shared experiences. I agree with that, but I didn't really think that that stuff really happened.

But we have this TV show here called American Idol, where random people audition for a recording contract, basically. And on like every episode, they're like "WAIT UNTIL YOU HEAR THIS GUY'S AMAZING STORY!" And I always kinda shrugged it off. But after reading that essay, and seeing a video that a friend of mine posted to Facebook, I realized that this happens all the time.

The video was about a guy who auditioned on the show, named Chris. He said that his fiance got into an accident two months before they were supposed to be married, and suffered massive brain damage. I couldn't help but feel bad for the guy and the girl. But then I thought of the essay.

Here is the video in question:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elaXeN15isM

So, we know that Chris is 26. He is engaged to a woman who suffered massive brain damage from an accident she suffered. We know that Chris takes care of his fiance since she can't get around. And we know next to nothing about the woman.

Why should we care? Maybe we can relate, but we still don't know the people. For all we know, his fiance was a total bitch and had it coming. I don't think that anyone could argue that their story isn't sad. But at the same time, how can we sympathize with someone we don't even know (ie a total stranger)?

What I'm asking is, why should this be aired? To me, it seems like a cheap attempt by the producers to get higher ratings by using Chris and his fiance to play to people's emotions.

Thoughts? Maybe I'm just too critcal/too much of a cynic D:

Edit: If anyone is curious, the essay is from a book called The Naked Crowd by Jeffrey Rosen.

Take heart, comrade. There are those who learn and are affected by experience to the point of infuriating displeasure when they read or hear about the same old thing. Your last question is answered by yourself: they air it because they want to get higher ratings by playing off people's emotions. Those who are rational and realize and understand this can counter their attempts to sucker you in to schemes of this kind. But, they are not non-overlapping magisteria(if I can even use that term in this context) in my opinion. Lest you lose emotion, aye, thus you lose humanity.
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