For my English class, we had to read an essay about this trend in society where people try to share their personal lives with strangers in order to obtain intimacy with them. The author basically thought that this is dumb, because just knowing a few facts about a person can't replace a lifetime of shared experiences. I agree with that, but I didn't really think that that stuff really happened.
But we have this TV show here called American Idol, where random people audition for a recording contract, basically. And on like every episode, they're like "WAIT UNTIL YOU HEAR THIS GUY'S AMAZING STORY!" And I always kinda shrugged it off. But after reading that essay, and seeing a video that a friend of mine posted to Facebook, I realized that this happens all the time.
The video was about a guy who auditioned on the show, named Chris. He said that his fiance got into an accident two months before they were supposed to be married, and suffered massive brain damage. I couldn't help but feel bad for the guy and the girl. But then I thought of the essay.
Here is the video in question:
So, we know that Chris is 26. He is engaged to a woman who suffered massive brain damage from an accident she suffered. We know that Chris takes care of his fiance since she can't get around. And we know next to nothing about the woman.
Why should we care? Maybe we can relate, but we still don't know the people. For all we know, his fiance was a total bitch and had it coming. I don't think that anyone could argue that their story isn't sad. But at the same time, how can we sympathize with someone we don't even know (ie a total stranger)?
What I'm asking is, why should this be aired? To me, it seems like a cheap attempt by the producers to get higher ratings by using Chris and his fiance to play to people's emotions.
Thoughts? Maybe I'm just too critcal/too much of a cynic D:
Edit: If anyone is curious, the essay is from a book called The Naked Crowd by Jeffrey Rosen.
The dude proposed to his fiance, and then she got into an accident. Instead of ditching her, he honors his commitment and takes care of her despite her state, and the conclusion you draw is "well maybe she might be a bitch"? Seriously? If he stayed, she was obviously fucking worth it. Who gives a shit if it's an attempt to drive emotions in viewers because a) his voice is good enough anyway and b) he fucking deserves every ounce of empathy derived from this.
In conclusion, you're being way too cynical and come off kind of assholish (not a word, I know) for it. Chill out, bro.
Because there are more than 6 billion other human beings in this world, and you need to see how they live to gain some perspective on your own life. Some stories just stand out and should actually change your outlook, unless you're being ignorant.
True story. This Chinese immigrant woman is an international badminton player. She moved to Canada. She is also fighting cancer. In the face of the chemo and intense work outs, she still has the time to complete extra English homework to improve her English. Maybe other students should finish their work as well, because you know, they probably don't have it as bad as her.
On January 28 2011 12:22 Sc1pio wrote: This post actually almost offends me.
The dude proposed to his fiance, and then she got into an accident. Instead of ditching her, he honors his commitment and takes care of her despite her state, and the conclusion you draw is "well maybe she might be a bitch"? Seriously? If he stayed, she was obviously fucking worth it. Who gives a shit if it's an attempt to drive emotions in viewers because a) his voice is good enough anyway and b) he fucking deserves every ounce of empathy derived from this.
In conclusion, you're being way too cynical and come off kind of assholish (not a word, I know) for it. Chill out, bro.
That's what I'm trying to say. If the guy was my friend who I had known for a long time, I would feel terrible and do everything I could to help him. But to me, he's just some random guy. Why should I care?
On January 28 2011 12:22 Sc1pio wrote: This post actually almost offends me.
The dude proposed to his fiance, and then she got into an accident. Instead of ditching her, he honors his commitment and takes care of her despite her state, and the conclusion you draw is "well maybe she might be a bitch"? Seriously? If he stayed, she was obviously fucking worth it. Who gives a shit if it's an attempt to drive emotions in viewers because a) his voice is good enough anyway and b) he fucking deserves every ounce of empathy derived from this.
In conclusion, you're being way too cynical and come off kind of assholish (not a word, I know) for it. Chill out, bro.
That's what I'm trying to say. If the guy was my friend who I had known for a long time, I would feel terrible and do everything I could to help him. But to me, he's just some random guy. Why should I care?
I hate to resort to personal attacks, but you're pretty much a textbook sociopath.
On January 28 2011 12:22 Sc1pio wrote: This post actually almost offends me.
The dude proposed to his fiance, and then she got into an accident. Instead of ditching her, he honors his commitment and takes care of her despite her state, and the conclusion you draw is "well maybe she might be a bitch"? Seriously? If he stayed, she was obviously fucking worth it. Who gives a shit if it's an attempt to drive emotions in viewers because a) his voice is good enough anyway and b) he fucking deserves every ounce of empathy derived from this.
In conclusion, you're being way too cynical and come off kind of assholish (not a word, I know) for it. Chill out, bro.
That's what I'm trying to say. If the guy was my friend who I had known for a long time, I would feel terrible and do everything I could to help him. But to me, he's just some random guy. Why should I care?
I hate to resort to personal attacks, but you're pretty much a textbook sociopath.
See? Two posts, and you think you know me well enough to label me as a sociopath.
On January 28 2011 12:22 Sc1pio wrote: This post actually almost offends me.
The dude proposed to his fiance, and then she got into an accident. Instead of ditching her, he honors his commitment and takes care of her despite her state, and the conclusion you draw is "well maybe she might be a bitch"? Seriously? If he stayed, she was obviously fucking worth it. Who gives a shit if it's an attempt to drive emotions in viewers because a) his voice is good enough anyway and b) he fucking deserves every ounce of empathy derived from this.
In conclusion, you're being way too cynical and come off kind of assholish (not a word, I know) for it. Chill out, bro.
That's what I'm trying to say. If the guy was my friend who I had known for a long time, I would feel terrible and do everything I could to help him. But to me, he's just some random guy. Why should I care?
I hate to resort to personal attacks, but you're pretty much a textbook sociopath.
actually he just is actually thinking deeper than just the surface. how does that make him a sociopath lol. everyone who wants to delve deeper into certain situations in life is a sociopath?
On January 28 2011 12:22 Sc1pio wrote: This post actually almost offends me.
The dude proposed to his fiance, and then she got into an accident. Instead of ditching her, he honors his commitment and takes care of her despite her state, and the conclusion you draw is "well maybe she might be a bitch"? Seriously? If he stayed, she was obviously fucking worth it. Who gives a shit if it's an attempt to drive emotions in viewers because a) his voice is good enough anyway and b) he fucking deserves every ounce of empathy derived from this.
In conclusion, you're being way too cynical and come off kind of assholish (not a word, I know) for it. Chill out, bro.
That's what I'm trying to say. If the guy was my friend who I had known for a long time, I would feel terrible and do everything I could to help him. But to me, he's just some random guy. Why should I care?
I hate to resort to personal attacks, but you're pretty much a textbook sociopath.
See? Two posts, and you think you know me well enough to label me as a sociopath.
Two posts outlining sociopathic behavior and I feel I should call you out on it. Your suggestion that we should not feel empathy for this couple is completely asinine and overly cynical to the point of sociopathy.
On January 28 2011 12:22 Sc1pio wrote: This post actually almost offends me.
The dude proposed to his fiance, and then she got into an accident. Instead of ditching her, he honors his commitment and takes care of her despite her state, and the conclusion you draw is "well maybe she might be a bitch"? Seriously? If he stayed, she was obviously fucking worth it. Who gives a shit if it's an attempt to drive emotions in viewers because a) his voice is good enough anyway and b) he fucking deserves every ounce of empathy derived from this.
In conclusion, you're being way too cynical and come off kind of assholish (not a word, I know) for it. Chill out, bro.
That's what I'm trying to say. If the guy was my friend who I had known for a long time, I would feel terrible and do everything I could to help him. But to me, he's just some random guy. Why should I care?
I hate to resort to personal attacks, but you're pretty much a textbook sociopath.
See? Two posts, and you think you know me well enough to label me as a sociopath.
Two posts outlining sociopathic behavior and I feel I should call you out on it. Your suggestion that we should not feel empathy for this couple is completely asinine and overly cynical to the point of sociopathy.
I don't think anybody really does truly give a fuck, tbh.
I still feel for these random strangers, but i really don't like it when someone who is obviously a better contestant loses because someone had something sad happen to them.
On January 28 2011 12:22 Sc1pio wrote: This post actually almost offends me.
The dude proposed to his fiance, and then she got into an accident. Instead of ditching her, he honors his commitment and takes care of her despite her state, and the conclusion you draw is "well maybe she might be a bitch"? Seriously? If he stayed, she was obviously fucking worth it. Who gives a shit if it's an attempt to drive emotions in viewers because a) his voice is good enough anyway and b) he fucking deserves every ounce of empathy derived from this.
In conclusion, you're being way too cynical and come off kind of assholish (not a word, I know) for it. Chill out, bro.
That's what I'm trying to say. If the guy was my friend who I had known for a long time, I would feel terrible and do everything I could to help him. But to me, he's just some random guy. Why should I care?
I hate to resort to personal attacks, but you're pretty much a textbook sociopath.
See? Two posts, and you think you know me well enough to label me as a sociopath.
Two posts outlining sociopathic behavior and I feel I should call you out on it. Your suggestion that we should not feel empathy for this couple is completely asinine and overly cynical to the point of sociopathy.
I don't think anybody really does truly give a fuck, tbh.
I disagree. Look at the comments on the video. Almost every single one is about how the poster cried or was inspired or how Chris is a hero.
On January 28 2011 12:37 Anxiety wrote: I still feel for these random strangers, but i really don't like it when someone who is obviously a better contestant loses because someone had something sad happen to them.
That's another thing. It can skew the results of the show. People will say "I'm voting for this guy because I feel bad for what happened to his fiance."
On January 28 2011 12:22 Sc1pio wrote: This post actually almost offends me.
The dude proposed to his fiance, and then she got into an accident. Instead of ditching her, he honors his commitment and takes care of her despite her state, and the conclusion you draw is "well maybe she might be a bitch"? Seriously? If he stayed, she was obviously fucking worth it. Who gives a shit if it's an attempt to drive emotions in viewers because a) his voice is good enough anyway and b) he fucking deserves every ounce of empathy derived from this.
In conclusion, you're being way too cynical and come off kind of assholish (not a word, I know) for it. Chill out, bro.
That's what I'm trying to say. If the guy was my friend who I had known for a long time, I would feel terrible and do everything I could to help him. But to me, he's just some random guy. Why should I care?
I hate to resort to personal attacks, but you're pretty much a textbook sociopath.
See? Two posts, and you think you know me well enough to label me as a sociopath.
Two posts outlining sociopathic behavior and I feel I should call you out on it. Your suggestion that we should not feel empathy for this couple is completely asinine and overly cynical to the point of sociopathy.
Really, not caring about some random sob story on TV makes you a textbook sociopath? Who wrote the textbook, you? Hopefully the qualifications are a little stricter than that!
Ferrose: American Idol has more goals than to identify the best amateur singer in the world or whatever they are doing, one of which is to make money. It's not really a cheap attempt to boost ratings just because you barely know the guy's life. You would know even less if they didn't tell you this, right? It's not a dirty underhanded tactic to try to make a connection between audience and contestant and they can't show a lifetime of experiences so they tell the saddest, most dramatic stories.
On January 28 2011 12:37 Anxiety wrote: I still feel for these random strangers, but i really don't like it when someone who is obviously a better contestant loses because someone had something sad happen to them.
That's another thing. It can skew the results of the show. People will say "I'm voting for this guy because I feel bad for what happened to his fiance."
Yes, God forbid the wrong person wins American Idol because he's going through shit and people feel sorry for him.
On January 28 2011 12:37 Anxiety wrote: I still feel for these random strangers, but i really don't like it when someone who is obviously a better contestant loses because someone had something sad happen to them.
That's another thing. It can skew the results of the show. People will say "I'm voting for this guy because I feel bad for what happened to his fiance."
Yes, God forbid the wrong person wins American Idol because he's going through shit and people feel sorry for him.
Doesn't it make more sense for the most talented contestant to win? This guy is definitely good, but no one should win a multi-million dollar recording contract just because people feel bad for him.
Disclaimer: This is the only audition I've seen from this season, so for all I know he is the best contestant :x
On January 28 2011 12:37 Anxiety wrote: I still feel for these random strangers, but i really don't like it when someone who is obviously a better contestant loses because someone had something sad happen to them.
That's another thing. It can skew the results of the show. People will say "I'm voting for this guy because I feel bad for what happened to his fiance."
Yes, God forbid the wrong person wins American Idol because he's going through shit and people feel sorry for him.
as douchey as it sounds, that isnt the point of the competition, so that would be overall a bad thing unless he truly is the most talented singer. what if we elected government officials that way? yes its a different thing, but the same ethics should apply
Perhaps I'm cold and heartless, but exactly like the OP I really don't care about sob stories like this. With two key exceptions: - I know the person - The person is going through something that I've experienced myself or someone close to me has experienced
Perhaps its because then I can really tell how they're feeling and what they're going through. I don't know
My point wasn't that the most talented contestant shouldn't win, my point was that it's asinine to argue we shouldn't care about someone's fiance going through a terrible accident and instead make sure tha the results of a TV singing competition are accurate.
This is something I do sometimes do think about. Honestly, it's a very much big media vs. real life thing.
I agree with your points pretty much, however, I've accepted that emotional stories as a regular trope in general media. When it comes to media, sob stories attract attention. However, when it becomes obvious when they try to milk it for all its worth. that's when there is a problem
On January 28 2011 12:16 Ferrose wrote: For my English class, we had to read an essay about this trend in society where people try to share their personal lives with strangers in order to obtain intimacy with them. The author basically thought that this is dumb, because just knowing a few facts about a person can't replace a lifetime of shared experiences. I agree with that, but I didn't really think that that stuff really happened.
But we have this TV show here called American Idol, where random people audition for a recording contract, basically. And on like every episode, they're like "WAIT UNTIL YOU HEAR THIS GUY'S AMAZING STORY!" And I always kinda shrugged it off. But after reading that essay, and seeing a video that a friend of mine posted to Facebook, I realized that this happens all the time.
The video was about a guy who auditioned on the show, named Chris. He said that his fiance got into an accident two months before they were supposed to be married, and suffered massive brain damage. I couldn't help but feel bad for the guy and the girl. But then I thought of the essay.
So, we know that Chris is 26. He is engaged to a woman who suffered massive brain damage from an accident she suffered. We know that Chris takes care of his fiance since she can't get around. And we know next to nothing about the woman.
Why should we care? Maybe we can relate, but we still don't know the people. For all we know, his fiance was a total bitch and had it coming. I don't think that anyone could argue that their story isn't sad. But at the same time, how can we sympathize with someone we don't even know (ie a total stranger)?
What I'm asking is, why should this be aired? To me, it seems like a cheap attempt by the producers to get higher ratings by using Chris and his fiance to play to people's emotions.
Thoughts? Maybe I'm just too critcal/too much of a cynic D:
Edit: If anyone is curious, the essay is from a book called The Naked Crowd by Jeffrey Rosen.
Take heart, comrade. There are those who learn and are affected by experience to the point of infuriating displeasure when they read or hear about the same old thing. Your last question is answered by yourself: they air it because they want to get higher ratings by playing off people's emotions. Those who are rational and realize and understand this can counter their attempts to sucker you in to schemes of this kind. But, they are not non-overlapping magisteria(if I can even use that term in this context) in my opinion. Lest you lose emotion, aye, thus you lose humanity.
on a related note i hate talent shows that have young children singing in them sure they're very good and cute but honestly they're probably just as good as any 20 year old singer but progress because the judges don't want to hurt their feelings it's absolutely ridiculous
I more or less agree with you, OP. If I don't know the person I don't really feel all that affected. Frequently the media will paint the background story of the person to try and make you feel like you "know" them, which is, in my cynical opinion, evidence that they're just trying to captivate your emotions.
I have to agree with the OP. However, this same crap gets recycled through all these sorts of shows because the people that watch them love this sort of thing. Something about it bringing out the human nature in an otherwise normal character. However, I feel bad for the guy, but nothing beyond that because he is nothing to me, but a random guy. There are hundreds of thousands of people that are probably going through worse and because they're not on TV we don't know or care.
I used to care, i wasn't always a cynic, but thanks to lovely media and their bombardment of various stories, tragic and sad, i now do not give a shit about many of those stories anymore. Sure i feel some pity and sympathy but that just goes away quickly and i just go on with my life. Am i a sociopath? Doubt it, i don't manipulate people for personal gain and i do have emotions and i still feel bad if i cheat/hurt someone or there is a touching blog on TL (but not on the media, i just turn off).
Through it all, ticket sales have soared, which raises an uncomfortable question: are people paying to see calamity? At a preview last Tuesday, members of the audience seemed conflicted. Outside the theatre, Alaina Schwartz, aged twelve, who had come from Long Island with her family, was asked if she hoped to see someone fall. “Yes! Yes!” she said. “I’m weird about that stuff. Like, there was a roller coaster and it kind of fell backwards, and I was kind of wishing that I was on that roller coaster at the time that it fell.” Her father, Steven, looked concerned.
“I hope somebody falls but they’re O.K.,” her sister Alexa, fourteen, said.
A third sister, Stephanie, nine, objected: “If something goes wrong, that’s bad luck for us!”
In the lobby, Allie Bauer, a Yale junior, said, “There’s a certain allure to this being a very dangerous performance.”
“You’re more evil than I am,” her classmate Will Moritz said, eating a Twizzler. After thinking it over, he added, “If I could see someone fall from the rafters but not go to the hospital—just magically get up—then I’d be down.” (He’s majoring in psychology.)
Matt Clements, a cameraman from midtown, had come to the show with his girlfriend. “She wants to see blood,” he explained.
The girlfriend, a lawyer named Carol Barbeiro, didn’t deny it. “It’s like Formula One,” she reasoned. “You want to see the car crash.” She added, “We like to go to Rockefeller Center to watch the ice-skaters fall.”
Possibly to Barbeiro’s dismay, the show went off that night without a hitch. (To say nothing of its dramaturgical flaws: in an early review, a Bloomberg critic called it “an unfocused hodge-podge of storytelling, myth-making and spectacle that comes up short in every department.”) During the flying sequences, the occupant of seat E114 wasn’t even tempted to put on the hard hat he had packed in case of emergency. But he was nevertheless troubled. What did the bloodlust of his fellow-theatregoers say about humanity?
“It sounds like morbid curiosity,” John Portmann, the author of “When Bad Things Happen to Other People,” said the following day. In his book, he argues that Schadenfreude can be socially useful when applied to the sinful. “St. Thomas Aquinas, writing more than seven hundred years ago, asked, ‘Will the people in Heaven get to see the people in Hell, and what should their attitude be?’ He says yes, the sainted will be able to laugh and jeer at the damned, but the primary reason is that they have proof of God’s justice.
“Remember that pride is the worst of the seven deadly sins,” Portmann went on. “Maybe what people are saying is ‘I think that Broadway is getting way out of control and I’m happy to see failure, so I’m willing to see actors get hurt. Then the producers will see that they are walking down a path that I didn’t endorse.’ ”
John Munder Ross, a psychologist and the author of “The Sadomasochism of Everyday Life,” said that we all have an unconscious desire to experience pain vicariously, and that theatregoing can ritualize these tendencies. “If it’s collective, it attenuates the individual guilt.”
On January 28 2011 12:22 Sc1pio wrote: This post actually almost offends me.
The dude proposed to his fiance, and then she got into an accident. Instead of ditching her, he honors his commitment and takes care of her despite her state, and the conclusion you draw is "well maybe she might be a bitch"? Seriously? If he stayed, she was obviously fucking worth it. Who gives a shit if it's an attempt to drive emotions in viewers because a) his voice is good enough anyway and b) he fucking deserves every ounce of empathy derived from this.
In conclusion, you're being way too cynical and come off kind of assholish (not a word, I know) for it. Chill out, bro.
That's what I'm trying to say. If the guy was my friend who I had known for a long time, I would feel terrible and do everything I could to help him. But to me, he's just some random guy. Why should I care?
I hate to resort to personal attacks, but you're pretty much a textbook sociopath.
Can you explain to me how the OP displays any of the following? You however is a textbook case for the typical ignorant forum poster who argues without bothering with facts at all.
A) There is a pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others occurring for as long as either childhood, or in the case of many who are influenced by environmental factors, around age 15, as indicated by three or more of the following: 1. failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest; 2. deceitfulness, as indicated by repeatedly lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure; 3. impulsivity or failure to plan ahead; 4. irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults; 5. reckless disregard for safety of self or others; 6. consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations; 7. lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another; B) The individual is at least 18 years of age. C) There is evidence of Conduct Disorder with onset before age 15 years. D) The occurrence of antisocial behavior is not exclusively during the course of Schizophrenia or a Manic Episode.
On January 28 2011 13:14 awu25 wrote: on a related note i hate talent shows that have young children singing in them sure they're very good and cute but honestly they're probably just as good as any 20 year old singer but progress because the judges don't want to hurt their feelings it's absolutely ridiculous
I also never liked animal shows, I mean I don't care what they can get the animals to do for food, it is much more interesting to see what you can make humans do for money.
Rofl, don't forget that Peter Potts guy from the british idol one too. It's just so sad knowing that for the longest time, some dishwasher in the back of a kitchen had a voice that was fit for opera. Cry me a river.
Tack on a sad face, maybe play it off like the guy has no self-esteem or confidence in life, and then play a 15 second clip of his mildly entertaining performance. Of course, this is all so emotional, so we have to see the tears from those audience members who are just overwhelmed with the hidden talent that stands hunched over before them. Next thing you know, he's the water cooler main topic at work the next day. Don't be deceived, this is actually just a giant rant about my co-workers.
EPT
