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On January 16 2011 13:28 emperorchampion wrote: You're in the best school in Canada, in the best program, AND you have a girlfriend... I see no problem :p
LOL :D
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On January 16 2011 13:37 LazyMacro wrote: I think all parents are weird. Don't let your parents run your life. They are not the ones going to class and studying for you, so don't worry about it if they don't approve of your field of study. The same goes for the girl you're seeing. If your parents don't like it, tough shit. This so much. You're a big boy now and you make your own decisions. I wouldn't say confront your parents/mom about their harsh attitudes towards your decisions in life, but maybe try talking it out a bit more. If they don't get that you're really into engineering and you're really into this girl, then they'll have to get over it later.
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I think you have normal parents, i think they just want whats best for you, but also do think they should be more accepting of her ... being Indian i know your pain. good luck im sure things will work out.
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On January 16 2011 12:32 Haemonculus wrote:Show nested quote +On January 16 2011 12:23 n.DieJokes wrote: I don't think its uncommon or exclusive to Asian parents. My mother tries to keep herself censored but I know she wants me to marry in the culture. I wouldn't worry about it, but listen and be respectful to your parents. If, like most relationships, it doesn't work out it'll be nice to have your parents support. If it does work out and this is the girl you want to marry/spend rest of your life with then make your stand Edit: Bad typing day He's 19. Chances are he's not considering getting married. But should your parent's racism ever really affect who you choose to date? No ofc not, those are just the two possible outcomes of the relationship and it's what his parents are afraid of.
And again, no ofc not I'm just saying he should be considerate of his parents wishes. Which is to say that he should be patient with his parents and continue to explain that he likes this girl and that he's sorry they disapprove even if he's repeating yourself
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it's so simple, date a Vietnamese girl
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On January 16 2011 12:05 Haemonculus wrote: Girl issues?
You've got parent issues, lol
exactly LOL
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On January 16 2011 12:10 Marberry wrote: Tell them that you were planning to choose between her and a black person. Honestly, the prospect scared my parents into accepting my then-current girlfriend. This is insanely smart.
But anyways, my parents are extremely open-minded for the average Korean adult, but they'd still dislike it if I married someone non-Korean. They wouldn't forbid me from doing so, but they'd definitely show their disapproval. It's not that they oppose to mixed marriages themselves(I have a few mixed relatives) but it's just a lot harder in Korean society if you marry someone non-Korean. A lot of people will be judgmental on you, especially since Korean perspectives on the rest of Asia isn't that flattering for the most part.
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On January 16 2011 15:04 yoonyoon wrote:Show nested quote +On January 16 2011 12:10 Marberry wrote: Tell them that you were planning to choose between her and a black person. Honestly, the prospect scared my parents into accepting my then-current girlfriend. This is insanely smart. But anyways, my parents are extremely open-minded for the average Korean adult, but they'd still dislike it if I married someone non-Korean. They wouldn't forbid me from doing so, but they'd definitely show their disapproval. It's not that they oppose to mixed marriages themselves(I have a few mixed relatives) but it's just a lot harder in Korean society if you marry someone non-Korean. A lot of people will be judgmental on you, especially since Korean perspectives on the rest of Asia isn't that flattering for the most part.
Really? I didn't know Koreans thought they were better than other asians. It might only be my family, but I have always sensed that most vietnameses think that asians that are not japanese, chinese, koreans or vietnamese are inferior. Just repeating, this is not MY opinion, but what I feel most of them think. and really this mindset really comes out of nowhere IMO.
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On January 16 2011 15:09 PetitCrabe wrote:Show nested quote +On January 16 2011 15:04 yoonyoon wrote:On January 16 2011 12:10 Marberry wrote: Tell them that you were planning to choose between her and a black person. Honestly, the prospect scared my parents into accepting my then-current girlfriend. This is insanely smart. But anyways, my parents are extremely open-minded for the average Korean adult, but they'd still dislike it if I married someone non-Korean. They wouldn't forbid me from doing so, but they'd definitely show their disapproval. It's not that they oppose to mixed marriages themselves(I have a few mixed relatives) but it's just a lot harder in Korean society if you marry someone non-Korean. A lot of people will be judgmental on you, especially since Korean perspectives on the rest of Asia isn't that flattering for the most part. Really? I didn't know Koreans thought they were better than other asians. It might only be my family, but I have always sensed that most vietnameses think that asians that are not japanese, chinese, koreans or vietnamese are inferior. Just repeating, this is not MY opinion, but what I feel most of them think. and really this mindset really comes out of nowhere IMO.
lol so basicly they don't like laotians? Or are you saying that the middle east and india are "asian"
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On January 16 2011 15:09 PetitCrabe wrote:Show nested quote +On January 16 2011 15:04 yoonyoon wrote:On January 16 2011 12:10 Marberry wrote: Tell them that you were planning to choose between her and a black person. Honestly, the prospect scared my parents into accepting my then-current girlfriend. This is insanely smart. But anyways, my parents are extremely open-minded for the average Korean adult, but they'd still dislike it if I married someone non-Korean. They wouldn't forbid me from doing so, but they'd definitely show their disapproval. It's not that they oppose to mixed marriages themselves(I have a few mixed relatives) but it's just a lot harder in Korean society if you marry someone non-Korean. A lot of people will be judgmental on you, especially since Korean perspectives on the rest of Asia isn't that flattering for the most part. Really? I didn't know Koreans thought they were better than other asians. It might only be my family, but I have always sensed that most vietnameses think that asians that are not japanese, chinese, koreans or vietnamese are inferior. Just repeating, this is not MY opinion, but what I feel most of them think. and really this mindset really comes out of nowhere IMO. Koreans tend to feel that non-Korean/Japanese/Chinese Asians are inferior. Perceptions on China have changed dramatically, but a lot of people still don't think of them very favorably. And, due to bad history, Koreans tend to dislike Japan. It's especially odd since a lot of Koreans are into aspects of Japanese culture. This is mostly about the older generation but vestiges of these stereotypes still remain in the younger generation in varying intensity.
Mixed Asian marriages are especially a touchy subject. There are a lot of "mail order brides" in Korea,+ Show Spoiler [Wikipedia quote] +Though South Korean men regularly marry Vietnamese and Thai women through dating agencies, the below focuses primarily on the trend with respect to Filipina women, and the recent reports of abuse by South Korean men. The London newspaper The Independent reports "Last year it was reported that more than 40,000 Vietnamese women have married South Korean men and migrated there." Cambodian women are also very popular with Korean men, but in March, 2010, the Cambodian government banned outright any marriages with South Korean men. which hurts the perception of regular mixed marriages in Korea. Marrying a white person can be more "excusable" on a certain level, and marrying a black is suicide in Korean society.
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On January 16 2011 15:24 hacklebeast wrote:Show nested quote +On January 16 2011 15:09 PetitCrabe wrote:On January 16 2011 15:04 yoonyoon wrote:On January 16 2011 12:10 Marberry wrote: Tell them that you were planning to choose between her and a black person. Honestly, the prospect scared my parents into accepting my then-current girlfriend. This is insanely smart. But anyways, my parents are extremely open-minded for the average Korean adult, but they'd still dislike it if I married someone non-Korean. They wouldn't forbid me from doing so, but they'd definitely show their disapproval. It's not that they oppose to mixed marriages themselves(I have a few mixed relatives) but it's just a lot harder in Korean society if you marry someone non-Korean. A lot of people will be judgmental on you, especially since Korean perspectives on the rest of Asia isn't that flattering for the most part. Really? I didn't know Koreans thought they were better than other asians. It might only be my family, but I have always sensed that most vietnameses think that asians that are not japanese, chinese, koreans or vietnamese are inferior. Just repeating, this is not MY opinion, but what I feel most of them think. and really this mindset really comes out of nowhere IMO. lol so basicly they don't like laotians? Or are you saying that the middle east and india are "asian"
When I say Asian, I think I generally include india, but not middle east. And yeah, I think my parents aren't really fond of people not chinese/japenese/korean/vietnamese. It's not like they would openly hate you because you are laotian and not talk to you, but in their heads, they will feel superior.
Well you see, my parents don't like Cambodian, hence don't like my girlfriend, and my brother's girlfriend doesn't like the fact that her little sister goes out with a Filipino. Also my cousin goes out with a french I think, and my family is basicly outraged, but she used to go out with a Chinese, and everybody was pretty fine with it.
It's weird, because my mom liked her old chinese boyfriend, but this makes her argument that I shouldn't go out with a Cambodian because she doesn't speak Vietnamese invalid since if I were to go out with a Chinese girl, she would still not be able to communicate with her.
geez, writing this kind of stuff makes me realize how racist my parents are.
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parents subscribe to all sorts of double standards when their kids are involved, it's just in the nature of parenting imo
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On January 16 2011 12:10 Marberry wrote: Tell them that you were planning to choose between her and a black person. Honestly, the prospect scared my parents into accepting my then-current girlfriend. Golden, puting this as my quote!
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my korean parents were like this too about my white girlfriend. my mom especially. she would say "i know you will only date her for 6 months and be done!" and it would really piss me off when she said that... but people started to tell my mom we looked really good together (her close friends) and we got past the 6 month mark. she finally accepted her and is actually really nice to her (gave her a coach purse!). just give it time and make sure she is very respectful. they'll realize love really has no boundaries if you guys are serious enough. unless your mom has no common sense and is a bit psycho (which i don't think she is), you'll be fine.
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On January 16 2011 15:09 PetitCrabe wrote:Show nested quote +On January 16 2011 15:04 yoonyoon wrote:On January 16 2011 12:10 Marberry wrote: Tell them that you were planning to choose between her and a black person. Honestly, the prospect scared my parents into accepting my then-current girlfriend. This is insanely smart. But anyways, my parents are extremely open-minded for the average Korean adult, but they'd still dislike it if I married someone non-Korean. They wouldn't forbid me from doing so, but they'd definitely show their disapproval. It's not that they oppose to mixed marriages themselves(I have a few mixed relatives) but it's just a lot harder in Korean society if you marry someone non-Korean. A lot of people will be judgmental on you, especially since Korean perspectives on the rest of Asia isn't that flattering for the most part. Really? I didn't know Koreans thought they were better than other asians. It might only be my family, but I have always sensed that most vietnameses think that asians that are not japanese, chinese, koreans or vietnamese are inferior. Just repeating, this is not MY opinion, but what I feel most of them think. and really this mindset really comes out of nowhere IMO.
Eh...all asians think ones superior and inferior for sure. I'm vietnamese and my parents feel the same way that we're above the other south east asians which is whack. And I'd have to agree with yoonyoon on the korean part cause its true..japan and korea are wayy ahead in terms of development and china is following quickly rising. these 3 countries esp japan and korea put themselves on a high horse its in their blood or something aha. Anyways about your parents and the girlfriend bull. Its cause she has Cambodian blood most likely. We got a history with cambodians and your parents are probably just taking it with a grain of salt. My parents freaked out when they found out my sisters friend was cambodian thought that was her bf. I brought a khmer friend home once but it was all good its just the thought of their daughter or son dating one race they dislike I believe :D. Its the most probable thing I can think of though other than that she's just crazy. Anddd I wouldn't wanna date a vietnamese girl >< my viet sucks and in the past I hate havin to talk to my ex's gf and them holding you to a certain standard but it all falls apart when your viet sucks and you can't hold a conversation. Imma pass up on viet chicks get myself some else
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Asians in North America seem to be more open minded in general towards inter-Asian relationships. There seems to be a hierarchy in terms of Asian superiority. For example, the big three are of course Japanese, Korean and Chinese. It seems like the more south the inferior you get -__- like Vietnamese seems to considered less. (Not a reflection of my opinions, just a general observation of others!)
I'm Chinese myself and my parents seem to not mind me dating other races (they're quite liberal, they have lived here quite a while) but I know they have a preference for Asians of course. I think my parents would like me to date a Chinese; one that speaks Cantonese (from Hong Kong) but they seems to also be OK with Japanese and Korean. IMO i don't think you should cater to your parent's preference for whom you date. I myself like Asians anyways(I just don't get attracted to non-Asians. Not a Asian supremacist or anything.), so I don't have a conflict with my parents.
Question: Do Asians in Asia have this hierarchy? In particular, how do Koreans look upon people of Chinese ethnicity? I'm asking because I'd like to maybe live/work in Korea when I graduate from university but I'm kinda afraid of being ostracized. All the stuff I find about foreigners in Korea are from the perspective of caucasians.
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I think that you have to wait until you can leave your household and start your own family. you tried to confront her but it didnt go as well as you hoped but DO NOT LEAVE HER ! you are right, some Asian parents can be like this but this is too much. And do not lay to em you are not doing anything bad.
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