EPTI got fooled - Page 2
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Tazza
Korea (South)1678 Posts
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Wala.Revolution
7584 Posts
Hopefully it turns out better. | ||
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Ximeng
China57 Posts
Maybe you blew it, maybe there was nothing to blow in the first place, we'll probably never know. But the one piece of advise I can give you is to man up when you ask a woman out. - Never text, never facebook it makes you look like a total pussy with weak social skills - Never ask the women what she wants to do or where she wants to go. Tell her instead. You are the one requesting her company, you should have the plan already. Makes you look really weak when you ask her to make the dating plan. - It may be common practice for some demographic of people, but I've never actually used the words date or girlfriend when asking a woman out and I've never had any trouble getting dates despite being rather average looking. Your reason for texting her the request is pretty weak. You had no classes that day, and yet you could not wait another day or two to see her in person? You did not want to ask her out in front of all your friends and yet you could not think of a single moment when it would be just the two of you alone together? Regardless of the outcome of this event, for future attempts, always represent yourself as confident, fake it if you have to. On the plus side, you at least had the courage to ask, that's a lot more than what most OPs in girl blogs accomplish. | ||
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MuffinFTW
United States235 Posts
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Tony Campolo
New Zealand364 Posts
Once upon a time, there was a man who was very attracted to a particular woman. At first, she was just another attractive woman... but the more he got to know her, the more he began to feel attracted to her... and the more time he spent with her, the more that attraction grew into a deep emotional attachment and affection for her. But there was one problem. As his emotional attachment grew stronger and stronger, he also grew more and more insecure. Why? Because he couldn't tell whether or not she felt the same way towards him. Sometimes she would say things like "You are so important to me" and "I'm glad that you're in my life"... but nothing ever progressed past the "friendship" stage. There was an occasional hug, an occasional kiss on the cheek from her... and once she even held his hand for a long time while he talked about an emotional issue. But something was wrong with the picture. She just wasn't acting like a woman that was "falling in love". She was acting like a friend. The insecurity that he felt became a spiral that amplified itself... and the more insecure he became, the more afraid he grew of "screwing things up" by kissing her or asking her to be his girlfriend. Plus, the more insecure he became, the less time she seemed to want to spend with him. After spending many days and nights obsessing over this girl, the man finally arrived at the conclusion that if she only knew how HE FELT, that she would feel the same way. So he made a bold move. He TOLD HER how he was felt. He confessed that he was in love, and that he would do anything to be with her. She looked at him with compassion in her eyes and said "Thank you... I really mean that... but I don't want to mess up our friendship... you're too important to me..." This only confused the man more. He didn't know how to take it... Did it mean that she really loved him too, but that she was afraid of something? Did it mean that she wasn't ready for a long-term relationship? Did it mean that she didn't love him, but that she was trying to give him a hint? Did it mean that he hadn't tried hard enough? Did it mean that he needed to put everything on the line and REALLY let her know how he felt? He finally decided that he couldn't go on like this anymore... he had to be with her. He had to make sure that she knew just how much he wanted to be with her... so he took a big step, bought her a symbolic gift, and wrote her a long, long letter... again confessing his feelings. And then the unthinkable happened. She didn't reply. He called her three times a day for almost a week before reaching her. She made an excuse about being very busy, and said "I'll try to give you a call soon, I have to go"... and hung up...but he never got a call back. Over the following months, the man tried desperately to understand what went wrong... and what happened. What a nice, heartwarming story, huh? Sound familiar? I know, let me guess, you are not that desperate. But in one way or another, we have ALL been there. One time or another, the “Ewww! effect” has got us, and we got stuck in the friend zone, and then pushed out of the friend zone even because we wanted more. Why does that happen? It is ALL about attraction, my friend, all about ATTRACTION. As David Deangelo says, the “Ewww effect is like hammering a railroad spike into the coffin of your relationship!” Why do men keep doing the things that cause the “Ewww effect” over and over? Because they don't GET IT! Do you want to get it? I mean, really, do you WANT TO GET IT? (I'll give you a hint - SHE wants you to get it, that's for sure!) Try this on for size - “if you think about it from HER perspective, you'll realize that the moment you do something to "confess", you have created a TURNING POINT in the relationship. Up until that point, you were harmless. I mean, women always know how men feel. She already knew you wanted her. She knew it from the beginning. But now that you've started pursuing her and talking about how you feel, you've created a NEGATIVE TENSION that is VERY uncomfortable. You've triggered an emotion that is repulsive to women. And it does repel them. You can't "make a woman like you" or "change how she feels about you" by doing nice things for her...Doing "nice" things for a woman who isn't attracted to you HURTS you. It backfires. Worse, it creates the "Instant Ewww" feeling that makes it so she'll NEVER like you. Men make this mistake over and over again in life because they're doing what MAKES SENSE to them. They're doing it because they don't have an understanding of ATTRACTION. I mean, if you have a friend, and you like them, and you want to make them like you more...and you do some nice things for them, they will probably like you more. On the other hand...if you have a woman that you "like" in a romantic way and she doesn't "feel it" for you, and you do something nice for her because you want HER to like you more, it will BACKFIRE... and she will not only NOT like you more, she will most likely distance herself from you. Guys think that they need to communicate when they like a woman... as if that's part of the necessary process of getting a girl. In their minds, it goes like this: Like her -> Tell her you like her -> She likes you Well remember... if you follow this pattern yourself with women who aren't ATTRACTED to you, then it's going to BACKFIRE. If she's not into you, then it goes like THIS: She thinks of you as a friend -> You tell her you like her -> She gets the "Instant Ewwws" and never wants to be around you again... There are really TWO answers to this problem. The first answer is what to do if you're in a situation where you like a particular girl, but you don't know if she likes you back. DON'T GET HEAVY WITH HER. Don't buy her a big gift and write a love letter...Don't send her ten dozen roses to her work with a note that says, "From your secret admirer". Don't call her three times a day. And DON'T CONFESS YOUR LOVE for her. Asking a woman if she's interested in you in a romantic way or if you are "her type", will actually DESTROY the chances that she'll like you. Really. I'd copy and paste more but just sign up to David DeAngelo's newsletter. | ||
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Elegance
Canada917 Posts
My plan now is again, business as usual, ignore her, look at some other girls, not like it's hard for me either because I'm in a female infested program, hence why I'm not desperate to call her back or pissed at the fact that this story happened. If she tries to bring this shit up again I'll just say (as someone here suggested) It was a one time deal, and she left it on the table, so it aint happening again. That should send a message | ||
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Klockan3
Sweden2866 Posts
On January 15 2011 13:12 Ximeng wrote: It really irks me that I am using one of my low post count posts to post in this thread, but I really am a sucker for these kind of topics. Iirc you don't get postcount from posts in the blog section. | ||
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avilo
United States4100 Posts
Looks like you liked her, she knew this, then you went apart or didn't talk long or what not, and now after you ignoring her/not talking to her or what not, she now was just trying to get attention from you, because she was confused as to how any guy could possibly not be interested in her! Especially after she had you like a doggy on a chain b4! So yeah...then when you finally give in, she's basically uninterested anymore at that point, because she knows she can have you whenever she wants. Etc. etc. Waste of time imo. Just pursue some other hot girl in your class, this one will be after you again in no time at all, or not. Doesn't matter either way  | ||
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devil`
United States176 Posts
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Servius_Fulvius
United States947 Posts
So save yourself the trouble - ask her out in person. Something along the lines of "I was serious, you know. I really like you and would like to take you out. How does Xday and Xtime sound?". Otherwise you get this ambiguous crap! The great part is that no matter what she says you can question her odd behavior and ask her to stop without worrying about the texting or facebook misunderstandings! Edit: Or you can forego the whole thing and stop being friends with her. College girls are fun, but most of them REALLY need to grow up. My last girlfriend was a recent graduate at 21 and had a bunch of maturity issues. Maybe there's someone else in you female infested program... | ||
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Elegance
Canada917 Posts
Guess what I just found in my car. Her fucking student card. HMM let's have some fun with it | ||
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Loophole
United States867 Posts
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Chef
10810 Posts
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Elegance
Canada917 Posts
On January 16 2011 08:00 Chef wrote: I knew it. Just from the title, I knew this would be a girl blog. Sounds like you had this happen to you before | ||
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