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Hello fellow TLers, I haven't made any topics here in TeamLiquid so I'm new to this so please tell me if I made a mistake about like posting this in the wrong forum, if I did then I'm sorry...
So my girlfriend has been having sleeping problems for the past few months because of nightmares, she wakes up several times in the middle of the night very scared and she cried a few times too =/ I just cant help it it breaks my heart to see her like that! I try to comfort her and tell her to think of other things before going to bed and stuff like that in hope that the nightmares would stop, they just don't! I ask her frequently what her nightmares are about and she always says she doesn't remember! one time she said she was lonely and it was dark or something... I really need help! is there any way to prevent the nightmares? I wish she knew what she was having nightmares about so I could help her and make her feel better! I just don't know what to do besides comfort her and try to get to think of things that make her happy! help me TL =<.
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Hmm if someone has a solution to this I would love to hear it. In my girlfriend's dreams I am very often either cheating on her or trolling the crap out of her.
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first of all, in blogs you can do nearly anything you want 
and secondly, i fear TL is not a substitude for doctors (in this case maybe a shrink). if this continues i'd tell her to talk to a professional.
(no offence intended!)
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I used to have this problem with nightmares a lot as well. The only thing i found that works is lucid dream which takes time to learn but allows you to control your dreams.
Here is the Wikipedia article en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucid_dream
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I think she should look into lucid dreaming, I've never tried it but I bet it would work.
One aspect of lucid dreaming is reality checks. So while you are awake you periodically check if you are dreaming by doing some kind of reality check. This will eventually carry over into dreams, and during the dream she will begin to do reality checks. But when shes having a nightmare, she will realize it and be able to deal with it!
GL!
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I know that its not a substitute for doctors, but I've been lurking these forums here for a while and there's quite a number of very intelligent people here! I'm certain there is something I could do or say... there's always a way  she hates doctors in general so I'm kind of leaving that as a last bet =/.
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Had a situation like this before, it helps to tell them to organize their thoughts of the day while they are lying in bed waiting to fall asleep.
Just tell them to think about what happened during the day and maybe think about things they want to do the next day. Try to think of things in detail, like what color was something or how loud something was but don't get too caught up in details otherwise it might bother you and not let you sleep haha.
If they run out of things to think of, then advise them to make sure their sleeping area is as comfortable as possible [ dark, quiet, kinda cold/warm ] and then focus on how good it feels as they fall asleep.
This worked for my friends.
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The best thing I can say to do is to try to relax.
I know, for example, if I go to sleep with something on my mind, I will not sleep well and I will wake feeling groggy and anxious. I also know if I sleep at a time I don't normally sleep (e.g. midday) I almost certainly will have disturbing nightmares (i.e. the kind that scare the shit out of you for days).
Is there a pattern to her dreams?
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Telling someone to "relax" is usually easier said than done. It's not easy to come out of a frightening dream and just immediately shake it off.
There's really no magic fix to prevent nightmares, you just have to kind of learn coping mechanisms I guess. Maybe she could keep a little journal on the nightstand or whatever and just write some random parts of the dream down. Later, when she goes to read how absolutely insane and ridiculous the dream was, maybe it relieve some of the anxiety that she's likely developed from having these nightmares. (ex: A dream that someone dies or some crazy shit happens, write it down, read it and realize that they are still alive and that its ridiculous to think otherwise, maybe sleep better knowing that it was just a dream)
I have had (and still sometimes have) recurring nightmares. For some reason, my coping mechanism has been to develop a sense of curiosity about the dreams, to the point where I force myself back to sleep for the sole purpose of figuring it out. I've had fairly lucid dreams for years- in my dreams, I always know I'm sleeping. They'll still scare the shit out of me from time to time and I'll wake up a sweaty mess, but being able to tell myself and confirm that a nightmare is just a dream gives me some kind of power to deal with it.
Edit: That's just how I deal with it, anyway. As I said, there's no magic fix. One of the safest bets is probably just to talk to her and comfort her while she figures out what's going on or until it wears off.
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On December 29 2010 07:53 PaPoolee wrote:
I ask her frequently what her nightmares are about and she always says she doesn't remember! one time she said she was lonely and it was dark or something... I really need help! is there any way to prevent the nightmares?
From this syndrome I think I know the exact reason why she has nightmares. Open the spoiler tag to know how to deal with it :
+ Show Spoiler +
1) Go to the nearest port
2) Buy a ticket to Fullmoon island.
3) Find Cresselia
4) Take the Lunar Wing from it
5) Use the Lunar Wing on your gf
Tested. 100% working.
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yeah, get into lucid dreaming. It's a method to get control over your dreams.
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On December 29 2010 08:12 Ack1027 wrote:
Had a situation like this before, it helps to tell them to organize their thoughts of the day while they are lying in bed waiting to fall asleep.
Just tell them to think about what happened during the day and maybe think about things they want to do the next day. Try to think of things in detail, like what color was something or how loud something was but don't get too caught up in details otherwise it might bother you and not let you sleep haha.
If they run out of things to think of, then advise them to make sure their sleeping area is as comfortable as possible [ dark, quiet, kinda cold/warm ] and then focus on how good it feels as they fall asleep.
This worked for my friends.
Thanks I'll make her focus on thinking about what happened and what she wants to do tomorrow and such, I've tried telling her to think of things that make her happy, but I'll try this too I guess! thanks for the suggestion.
On December 29 2010 08:12 LazyMacro wrote:
The best thing I can say to do is to try to relax.
I know, for example, if I go to sleep with something on my mind, I will not sleep well and I will wake feeling groggy and anxious. I also know if I sleep at a time I don't normally sleep (e.g. midday) I almost certainly will have disturbing nightmares (i.e. the kind that scare the shit out of you for days).
Is there a pattern to her dreams?
No, not really like I said in the first post she says that she doesn't remember what happens, only once she said that she was alone and it was in the dark and such =/ don't know exactly what though!.
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If it's that often maybe it has something to do with her past, something that happened to her. Talk to her about it, but maybe she doesn't want to tell you.
Maybe lucid dreaming is an answer too, like some wrote.
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On December 29 2010 08:27 kamikami wrote:Show nested quote +On December 29 2010 07:53 PaPoolee wrote:
I ask her frequently what her nightmares are about and she always says she doesn't remember! one time she said she was lonely and it was dark or something... I really need help! is there any way to prevent the nightmares? From this syndrome I think I know the exact reason why she has nightmares. Open the spoiler tag to know how to deal with it : + Show Spoiler +
1) Go to the nearest port
2) Buy a ticket to Fullmoon island.
3) Find Cresselia
4) Take the Lunar Wing from it
5) Use the Lunar Wing on your gf
Tested. 100% working.
I don't get it =/.
On December 29 2010 08:27 Navane wrote:
yeah, get into lucid dreaming. It's a method to get control over your dreams.
How exactly do i get into lucid dreaming? read the Wikipedia article but it didn't actually say what is the method of doing so.
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I don't know how girls deal with nightmares...I just pretend im in the Matrix or Inception or something where i can magically summon whatever I want. Controlling dreams is easier said than done, especially if it's something about relationships or people compared to, say, zombies.
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On December 29 2010 08:31 Zoler wrote:
If it's that often maybe it has something to do with her past, something that happened to her. Talk to her about it, but maybe she doesn't want to tell you.
Maybe lucid dreaming is an answer too, like some wrote.
Almost every night, I did try to talk to her about it, and I don't think she doesn't want to tell me about it because we've been together for about 5 years now and we've known each other since we were kids!.
I apologize for replying to the topic so much.
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On December 29 2010 07:58 Fontong wrote:
Hmm if someone has a solution to this I would love to hear it. In my girlfriend's dreams I am very often either cheating on her or trolling the crap out of her.
Hm, funny, in my dreams i'm usually cheating on my girlfriend.
I guess its better than actually committing the act.
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On December 29 2010 08:22 Nokarot wrote:
Telling someone to "relax" is usually easier said than done. It's not easy to come out of a frightening dream and just immediately shake it off.
There's really no magic fix to prevent nightmares, you just have to kind of learn coping mechanisms I guess. Maybe she could keep a little journal on the nightstand or whatever and just write some random parts of the dream down. Later, when she goes to read how absolutely insane and ridiculous the dream was, maybe it relieve some of the anxiety that she's likely developed from having these nightmares. (ex: A dream that someone dies or some crazy shit happens, write it down, read it and realize that they are still alive and that its ridiculous to think otherwise, maybe sleep better knowing that it was just a dream)
I have had (and still sometimes have) recurring nightmares. For some reason, my coping mechanism has been to develop a sense of curiosity about the dreams, to the point where I force myself back to sleep for the sole purpose of figuring it out. I've had fairly lucid dreams for years- in my dreams, I always know I'm sleeping. They'll still scare the shit out of me from time to time and I'll wake up a sweaty mess, but being able to tell myself and confirm that a nightmare is just a dream gives me some kind of power to deal with it.
Edit: That's just how I deal with it, anyway. As I said, there's no magic fix. One of the safest bets is probably just to talk to her and comfort her while she figures out what's going on or until it wears off.
Oh, it's a lot easier said than done.
I just mean that working at it little by little will eventually get her there. I have anxiety, so I know what it's like to be freaking out over basically nothing, and then to work to the point where the anxiety doesn't affect me on such a deep level any longer. Is it easy? No, but it can be done.
Nightmares are scary though. If there's some deeper reason why she's having them, she may need to deal with those issues. If it's just some kind of anxiety or something, that can be worked on.
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Belgium6771 Posts
I support the lucid dreaming idea. There's a lot of people who deal with nightmares this way! look into it
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For lucid dreaming, there's a machine (I think it's called the NOVA) that emits beeps when it detects you've entered REM and helps you control dreams, but personally, here's what I've gotten from various professionals I've talked to (this is secondhand, so I may be off)
You will remember in your sleep more emotion-related crap than thought-related crap. If you've been stressed about your parents arguing at each other or at you, it is almost certain at least one of them will appear in your dreams. So try finding what's going on with her life right now, and try and stimulate more positive emotions.
This sounds kinda bland, but if you can resolve the problems upon detecting em, and possibly making her feel really happy in her subconscious, that should solve the problem.
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EPT
