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This is going to be short and sweet:
My advice to anyone still in high school is to not do anything more with girls other than go on a few dates and mess around. You don't need a girlfriend and it'll only serve to screw you up, especially at the end when your grades should be most important.
For university, getting a girlfriend is your choice. Now you're at a point where I'd say it's better to be alone and get through school (unless you're in an easy program). At the same time, if you acquire a girlfriend and she turns out to be a really great person, stick with it - she may just be the girl who will one day become your wife.
I say this because girlfriends - not dating - are a lot of work. It is a constant battle with yourself to keep your cool and not push her away with unattractive behavior, while also having to deal with and shut down her BS. In all though if you both make each other happy then little mishaps won't cause damage and you can both just be yourselves. Just understand what you're getting into, and for the love of God do not listen to anyone else when it comes to your relationship.
My girlfriend and I have been going out of 3.5 years and will one day be married. We started going out after 1st year university. We have had many arguments and gone through many rough times together both with each other and in our respective lives. It has been a lot of work, still is, and still will be, but in the end all that matters is that we're with each other.
My point is that if you are not in a relationship stay out for a while, and if you are in one - stay the course, but only if it isn't actually hurting you.
 
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So.... singles, die alone?
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Forever alone.
I think hes just saying u shouldn't try too hard to get a gf... cuz that's pathetic anyways.
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I see right through you. You want all the girls besides the ones already taken for yourself, don't you? Don't you, Mr. Giz?
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I agree for the most part. Most people who date in high school get relationship-centered and lose sight of their friends, family, grades, morals, etc in the process. However, sometimes you do need to take advice relating to you relationship. An extreme case being one side is getting beaten by the other, so friends recommend they leave the abusive relationship. I think I understand what you were trying to say, though.
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I agree, a GF really TAKES a lot of time! It's not easy at all :/
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I want a girl who will study with me :/, its lonely in the library
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That is quite the devious ploy that TheGiz has enacted.
I think CanucksJC's one-line summary is on the money though. People do often try too hard to get a girlfriend, or it's on their mind so much that they cannot act normally around girls.
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One hundred years of solitude.
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On December 14 2010 04:46 GunSec wrote:
I agree, a GF really TAKES a lot of time! It's not easy at all :/
I second that.
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This whole thing was a contradiction. "Do not listen to anyone else when it comes to your relationship" Then why are you giving advice on ...relationships?
"you don't need a girlfriend, it will only screw you up" why do you have a girlfriend, and why are you happy?! girlfriends only screw you up!
"If you're not in a relationship stay out" rofl, wtf is this? Be lonely guys!
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On December 14 2010 04:42 AcrossFiveJulys wrote:
I see right through you. You want all the girls besides the ones already taken for yourself, don't you? Don't you, Mr. Giz?
In genius O_O
I'm lonely...
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On December 14 2010 04:36 yoonyoon wrote:
So.... singles, die alone?
We are all alone when we die...
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@OpRaider
1. I'm talking about general relationship advice versus targeted advice about YOUR relationship. Don't let people around you influence your relationship. Relationship advice about relationships in general is cool.
2. That sentence was talking about High School. High School is the biggest waste of time of our lives, and everyone gets it wrong thinking about the social aspects of it when schooling is all that matters. Girlfriends have the potential to draw you away from that. Even in university you should be cautious of this. Having a girlfriend itself can be a good thing, but it's like being successful in life - it requires blood, sweat, and tears along the way.
3. Be single, don't be lonely. If you stumble upon someone who turns out to be great then you'll recognize it, but don't think you NEED that.
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sure, relationships are a lot of work, but that doesn't mean that you should wait until you think you've found someone you think you can stay together with forever.
you need to learn what you want from a relationship and how relationships work, and being dumped / breaking up a couple of times is part of the process.
if you want to focus on school and your career that's fine, but if that's all you do I'm sure you'll get good grades and feel utterly empty inside.
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i literally had 0 friends in high school (aww yee, internetz) so i think i'm on the right track
..
..
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On December 14 2010 04:54 alypse wrote:
One hundred years of solitude.
The funny thing is that that book is all about people boning people. I have no idea as to why Gabriel Garcial Marquez gave his book its name.
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On December 14 2010 04:48 n.DieJokes wrote:
I want a girl who will study with me :/, its lonely in the library
bitches love the library. i want a girl who will drink at noon with me on campus.
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On December 14 2010 05:07 TheGiz wrote:
@OpRaider
1. I'm talking about general relationship advice versus targeted advice about YOUR relationship. Don't let people around you influence your relationship. Relationship advice about relationships in general is cool.
2. That sentence was talking about High School. High School is the biggest waste of time of our lives, and everyone gets it wrong thinking about the social aspects of it when schooling is all that matters. Girlfriends have the potential to draw you away from that. Even in university you should be cautious of this. Having a girlfriend itself can be a good thing, but it's like being successful in life - it requires blood, sweat, and tears along the way.
3. Be single, don't be lonely. If you stumble upon someone who turns out to be great then you'll recognize it, but don't think you NEED that.
If you're always aiming to get the maximum amount of efficiency out of life you're going to have a rather dull one. You could also argue that you shouldn't have a girlfriend while you're working, because she'll detract from your 16 hour days/7 days a week schedule. How are you going to get promoted if you aren't dedicating everything to your job?!
I know plenty of people who met their wives in high school, and who are incredibly happy and successful now. I went through high school focusing on the social aspects of it, and still got into the program I wanted at the university I wanted. It's all about balance.
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It's funny and a little sad when I hear my friends talking about how they have to keep up a cool exterior to keep a girlfriend. That's how I usually predict the length of their relationship -_-;; to me, at least, the point of a relationship is to be able to be yourself (but with someone!), no judgments. For example, hiding the fact that you play SC2 is an insta-sign of relationship failure. Nerds should be proud, and nerd-gfs should be proud of that.
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not having a gf in hs and getting one in college is the most ass backwards logic ive ever heard
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To title: Yes please!
...
I thought this thread would give me girl advice. But it just makes my life even sadder.
Forevere alone...
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
On December 14 2010 05:52 Hawk wrote:
not having a gf in hs and getting one in college is the most ass backwards logic ive ever heard
LOL true
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On December 14 2010 05:52 Hawk wrote:
not having a gf in hs and getting one in college is the most ass backwards logic ive ever heard
Depends how stable they are. Mine wants only for me to be successful in school. Other girls want you to drop out and spend time with them. While one can see that staying in school no matter what is the best course of action (and believe me, it is), women are NOT LOGICAL.
Few people are mature enough for a real relationship in high school. Any super-relationships in my high school didn't last into October as soon as university started. Bang all the sluts you want - I wish I did - but don't think that you're going to find miss perfect.
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ahahahaa this thread is awesome, it's like having a contest named "Get a million dollars!" then the criteria for winning is working for 30yrs making $33 000 a year.
Thanks man :D
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On December 14 2010 04:33 TheGiz wrote:
My point is that if you are not in a relationship stay out for a while, and if you are in one - stay the course, but only if it isn't actually hurting you.
You seem to have had some bad experiences. A relationship only is "hard work" if things aren't running the way they should be. You're giving bad advice if you recommend avoiding relationships in general, because in the best case, something good may come out of it, and in the worst case, it's a way to learn some lessons for life.
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Austin10831 Posts
On December 14 2010 06:32 emperorchampion wrote:
ahahahaa this thread is awesome, it's like having a contest named "Get a million dollars!" then the criteria for winning is working for 30yrs making $33 000 a year.
It's more like: "Hungry? Eat food! But don't if you're not."
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On December 14 2010 04:46 GunSec wrote:
I agree, a GF really TAKES a lot of time! It's not easy at all :/
So does gaming
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On December 14 2010 06:35 BroOd wrote:Show nested quote +On December 14 2010 06:32 emperorchampion wrote:
ahahahaa this thread is awesome, it's like having a contest named "Get a million dollars!" then the criteria for winning is working for 30yrs making $33 000 a year.
It's more like: "Hungry? Eat food! But don't if you're not."
"Wanna bang sluts? Do it! Wanna find Miss Perfect? Hope you're not in High School!"
Hmm, what other topics can we extend this new found logic to?
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On December 14 2010 06:28 TheGiz wrote:Show nested quote +On December 14 2010 05:52 Hawk wrote:
not having a gf in hs and getting one in college is the most ass backwards logic ive ever heard Depends how stable they are. Mine wants only for me to be successful in school. Other girls want you to drop out and spend time with them. While one can see that staying in school no matter what is the best course of action (and believe me, it is), women are NOT LOGICAL. Few people are mature enough for a real relationship in high school. Any super-relationships in my high school didn't last into October as soon as university started. Bang all the sluts you want - I wish I did - but don't think that you're going to find miss perfect.
what ever could go wrong with in an environment where there are raging hormones, no inhibitions, thousands of gallons of cheap booze and sorority mixers where the winner is the girl who fills her stomach up with semen the quickest????
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On December 14 2010 06:46 emperorchampion wrote:Show nested quote +On December 14 2010 06:35 BroOd wrote:On December 14 2010 06:32 emperorchampion wrote:
ahahahaa this thread is awesome, it's like having a contest named "Get a million dollars!" then the criteria for winning is working for 30yrs making $33 000 a year.
It's more like: "Hungry? Eat food! But don't if you're not." "Wanna bang sluts? Do it! Wanna find Miss Perfect? Hope you're not in High School!" Hmm, what other topics can we extend this new found logic to?
I would say "Wanna play Starcraft? Get a job, you filthy freeloader!! You can play Starcraft once you're retired!!"
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This is terrible advice. I shouldn't have to explain why, should I?
If you have to spend so much time studying that you don't have time for personal relationships, you are missing out on the most important lessons you can learn at university.
And not learning to balance stress, work, and being in a relationship is a recipe for disaster if you end up wanting to be with someone down the line. The advice in this blog is essentially saying to stay away from a relationship as long as you have work to do, as it is too much of a distraction. You do realize that once you have a career, you will have just as much or more work to do, right? What about people who value friendship and love over getting grades?
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Now that's probably the dumbest blog I've read on TL so far. You're just putting everyone in the same pot (dunno if that saying exists like that in english). There are actually people who can manage 2 things at the same time. Only because you couldn't doesn't mean that everyone's like you.
Especially this made me laugh a little inside:
On December 14 2010 04:33 TheGiz wrote:
My point is that if you are not in a relationship stay out for a while, and if you are in one - stay the course, but only if it isn't actually hurting you.
Are you telling people that have never been in a relationship to not even try because it might not be worth it? And I'm not even gonna comment on the second one, that's actually pretty funny imo^^
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Totally misleading blog name. Also, that wasn't very helpful for anyone. You dont tell ppl, hey dont have gf and get into serious relationship if you dont want to work on it, or stay alone if you dont want to commit yet. Most ppl already know that, and if they dont, they should and will learn that soon. I have been in over 40 relationships in last few years, with girls junger 5-6 years than me and girls older 7-8 years than me and i still think every day about relationships and learn something new from every new one. I see kids and even ppl my age (21) getting into "serious" relationships while they are just kids and havent experience anything in life and learned nothing about love or commitment and they are already planning to have a child and are moving in together. Problem is that everyone around them (but they dont) see that that kind of stuff is really wrong and is going to ruin their lives. Ok, grats to those who "make it" and live happily ever after, but most ppl i know that are rushing things up are a total mess now and acting really retarded when they are together becouse they are too young and inexperienced for that kind of life. Im glad about you and yours gf and i value relationships that went trough a lot, but im just saying that you shouldn't give "tips" about gf just because of that. Because, lets say you break up one day, you find new love etc etc and im pretty sure if you are happy with it that you will realize that you can never be too experienced to talk about it and that every new person that you meet can give you whole new perspective on life.
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On December 14 2010 05:12 Slivered Skin wrote:Show nested quote +On December 14 2010 05:07 TheGiz wrote:
@OpRaider
1. I'm talking about general relationship advice versus targeted advice about YOUR relationship. Don't let people around you influence your relationship. Relationship advice about relationships in general is cool.
2. That sentence was talking about High School. High School is the biggest waste of time of our lives, and everyone gets it wrong thinking about the social aspects of it when schooling is all that matters. Girlfriends have the potential to draw you away from that. Even in university you should be cautious of this. Having a girlfriend itself can be a good thing, but it's like being successful in life - it requires blood, sweat, and tears along the way.
3. Be single, don't be lonely. If you stumble upon someone who turns out to be great then you'll recognize it, but don't think you NEED that. If you're always aiming to get the maximum amount of efficiency out of life you're going to have a rather dull one. You could also argue that you shouldn't have a girlfriend while you're working, because she'll detract from your 16 hour days/7 days a week schedule. How are you going to get promoted if you aren't dedicating everything to your job?! I know plenty of people who met their wives in high school, and who are incredibly happy and successful now. I went through high school focusing on the social aspects of it, and still got into the program I wanted at the university I wanted. It's all about balance.
Life isn't about maximizing efficiency - rather, life is about maximizing utility. The more utility, ie happiness you get out of life, the better off you will be. If getting you a girlfriend gives you a lot of happiness, then I don't see the big deal.
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This OP:
10% - Advice
90% - I have a girlfriend in College and will marry her. 
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Osaka27128 Posts
and for the love of God do not listen to anyone else when it comes to your relationship.
I will take your advice and ignore the rest of what you said in your blog. :p
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On December 14 2010 04:33 TheGiz wrote:
My girlfriend and I have been going out of 3.5 years and will one day be married. We started going out after 1st year university. We have had many arguments and gone through many rough times together both with each other and in our respective lives. It has been a lot of work, still is, and still will be, but in the end all that matters is that we're with each other.
I'm in the exact same situation. I met my girl in my first year (law school) and 3 years later we are still together. We also had a lot of arguments and it's damn hard to give her what she deserves. I have so much work and I would like to do those things that I can't do anymore when I'm married, like for example playing starcraft (I don't see myself playing when I have kids). I'm pretty sure that she will become my wife in a few years =)
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Wish I hadn't started playing Starcraft in high school.
I remember on the morning of my first day at high school, I was playing Starcraft until 3 AM.
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Don't worry Moltke you will eventually marry a Western princess.
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On December 14 2010 08:33 Boblion wrote:
Don't worry Moltke you will eventually marry a Western princess.
Social ambition doesn't work that way, I'm afraid. Not even for foreigners.
There's something particularly pernicious about men attempting to marry upwards. At the very worst, a man becomes interested in a woman at the top of his own class. Very rarely does he attempt to rise relentlessly beyond that.
The lives of Julien Sorel and Pip are delightful stories about those who attempt to do so.
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konadora
Singapore66116 Posts
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People still taking irl advice from TLers. lol.
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It's certainly no worse than taking advice from some of my family members. Especially those who suffer fresh epiphanies every six or nine months, and become protean monomaniacs.
It's a rather natural instinct to protect your friends and acquaintances from lagging more than one lesson behind you in the course of life lessons. I understand some of the finest exemplars of our generation plan on making careers in education.
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On December 14 2010 10:10 konadora wrote:
forever alone tt
Forever alone indeed. T_T
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If you're single at college, heres my advice, get a UFB.
= understanding fuck buddy
= a girl that likes you, likes sex with you, and has the cognitive skill to understand that you dont want a relationship, but that doesn't mean good sex has to be passed up.
She is the girl who asks you what you're doing each weekend, if she isn't up to anything. She hangs around you and deals with annoying friends. She can talk to her girlfriends about your relationship without feeling slutty, and more importantly, she doesn't need any sort of commitment-work.
So how do you find these girls.
A. get good with meeting people/networking.
B. get good at attracting girls (and laying them obviously). Once a girl lays you, its like forming an archon bond. well maybe not definite, but 99/100 the girl feels way more comfortable/connected with you.
If at any of the points your UFB turns into a dramatic bitch, just find a new one (while trying make the break as casual as possible "we weren't even going out haha")
Most important part: If you ever get to needy with her, she will start ignoring you/leaving you. Give her her space and she will give you yours. While both your idle times will be spent together.
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
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On December 14 2010 15:43 THEPPLsELBOW wrote:
If you're single at college, heres my advice, get a UFB.
= understanding fuck buddy
= a girl that likes you, likes sex with you, and has the cognitive skill to understand that you dont want a relationship, but that doesn't mean good sex has to be passed up.
She is the girl who asks you what you're doing each weekend, if she isn't up to anything. She hangs around you and deals with annoying friends. She can talk to her girlfriends about your relationship without feeling slutty, and more importantly, she doesn't need any sort of commitment-work.
So how do you find these girls.
A. get good with meeting people/networking.
B. get good at attracting girls (and laying them obviously). Once a girl lays you, its like forming an archon bond. well maybe not definite, but 99/100 the girl feels way more comfortable/connected with you.
If at any of the points your UFB turns into a dramatic bitch, just find a new one (while trying make the break as casual as possible "we weren't even going out haha")
Most important part: If you ever get to needy with her, she will start ignoring you/leaving you. Give her her space and she will give you yours. While both your idle times will be spent together.
While you're at it just go out there and find an enormous amount of money. This will be very helpful because you could use that money to buy stuff.
Here's how you find money.
A. Find a treasure map, these almost always lead to some sort of cash (there might be a curse involved).
B. Get the UFB to pay you for sex. This works 99/100 of the time.
Once you get this money I suggest hiding it somewhere safe, but every once in a while put it in a pile and swim through it. This is very important, you must not neglect the money swimming.
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On December 14 2010 16:06 Zim23 wrote:Show nested quote +On December 14 2010 15:43 THEPPLsELBOW wrote:
If you're single at college, heres my advice, get a UFB.
= understanding fuck buddy
= a girl that likes you, likes sex with you, and has the cognitive skill to understand that you dont want a relationship, but that doesn't mean good sex has to be passed up.
She is the girl who asks you what you're doing each weekend, if she isn't up to anything. She hangs around you and deals with annoying friends. She can talk to her girlfriends about your relationship without feeling slutty, and more importantly, she doesn't need any sort of commitment-work.
So how do you find these girls.
A. get good with meeting people/networking.
B. get good at attracting girls (and laying them obviously). Once a girl lays you, its like forming an archon bond. well maybe not definite, but 99/100 the girl feels way more comfortable/connected with you.
If at any of the points your UFB turns into a dramatic bitch, just find a new one (while trying make the break as casual as possible "we weren't even going out haha")
Most important part: If you ever get to needy with her, she will start ignoring you/leaving you. Give her her space and she will give you yours. While both your idle times will be spent together. While you're at it just go out there and find an enormous amount of money. This will be very helpful because you could use that money to buy stuff. Here's how you find money. A. Find a treasure map, these almost always lead to some sort of cash (there might be a curse involved). B. Get the UFB to pay you for sex. This works 99/100 of the time. Once you get this money I suggest hiding it somewhere safe, but every once in a while put it in a pile and swim through it. This is very important, you must not neglect the money swimming.
if you're forming the analogy that a girl, who will lay you, and happens to match this personality is as unattainable as a treasure map, then you are mistaken.
if you're not good with women, im not saying having sex with one will be something easy. It takes repetition and failure.
there are plenty of websites that discuss "tactics..." but all in all you form your own strategy. (hint: being real and not trying to play her is always better)
i'm not here to discuss that really tho... just dont be afraid to ask a girl if she wants to come home to watch a movie and cuddle after a night out.
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less bragging more ideas on how to get a gf, please. lol
OP title is misleading.
and how do you know when to get out of a relationship? some people hang on to dying relationships for too long, wasting both people's time.
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Seriously, OP...Seriously?!
Most of what you're talking about is based on experience both you have had and the people in your life around you. Most of us can look back and say "yeah, I probably could have done without a couple relationships in my past", but hindsight is 20/20. We are the sum of our experiences and you shouldn't try to deny that from someone just because you've got it "figured out" (or, at least you think you do). Good or bad, relationships are something we all need experience in to find the right person.
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EPT
