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Active: 1405 users

Scared as all hell...

Blogs > Kimaker
Post a Reply
Kimaker
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States2131 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-01-09 06:37:20
December 10 2010 03:38 GMT
#1
That particular episode in my life is now over. This no longer needs to be up.



***
Entusman #54 (-_-) ||"Gold is for the Mistress-Silver for the Maid-Copper for the craftsman cunning in his trade. "Good!" said the Baron, sitting in his hall, But Iron — Cold Iron — is master of them all|| "Optimism is Cowardice."- Oswald Spengler
Essbee
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
Canada2371 Posts
December 10 2010 04:17 GMT
#2
I have some difficulties following what you said, are you scaring her or does she likes you?

If you know she likes you, not necessary love, and you know she can trust you, you should try to show her what's the good things in life, I mean, if she tried to killed herself three times, I'm afraid it will be hard for you to show her these nice things. As you said, concentrate on your studies first, and after you can check what you can do for her. Sometimes, just being more direct in how you care for her can be quite a good surprise for both of you. I can't really help since there's a lot of information I don't know (feelings, her grades in school if she even go to school, your ages, etc...) but I'm trying to give you my best input to help you. That's quite a delicate situation, I've personally never been in a situation like this so that's why I can't help that much but usually humans are socially dependent, so show her that you are here for her if you really care that much. You can also try to convince your friend to help you even if he doesn't care like you. Talking with him a bit and showing how you care about that situation could change his mind seeing you are in the need of a good friend.

However, if you are scaring her, I'm afraid to say that the best thing would be to let her do her things and you to try to forget about her and continue your life. You could always find something to say to clear this up but you should think about it in your bed before sleeping or whatever, it's a great way to think about what you want to say to someone, trying to imagine how the person could react, etc...

If you can tell how her life is, with a little more details, I could help you better. But remember, no one here can do the job for you, we'll try to give our opinions but you have to do what you think is the best, you know her better than us.

I wish you the best of luck.

P.S: My English may not be perfect.
MuffinFTW
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States235 Posts
December 10 2010 05:25 GMT
#3
This probably isn't good advice, since it's just what I learned from Health class. Basically, you should go report it to some one. Since, depression/bipolar is a serious problem and she possibly needs help to deal with this.
Kimaker
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States2131 Posts
December 10 2010 05:28 GMT
#4
On December 10 2010 13:17 Essbee wrote:
I have some difficulties following what you said, are you scaring her or does she likes you?

If you know she likes you, not necessary love, and you know she can trust you, you should try to show her what's the good things in life, I mean, if she tried to killed herself three times, I'm afraid it will be hard for you to show her these nice things. As you said, concentrate on your studies first, and after you can check what you can do for her. Sometimes, just being more direct in how you care for her can be quite a good surprise for both of you. I can't really help since there's a lot of information I don't know (feelings, her grades in school if she even go to school, your ages, etc...) but I'm trying to give you my best input to help you. That's quite a delicate situation, I've personally never been in a situation like this so that's why I can't help that much but usually humans are socially dependent, so show her that you are here for her if you really care that much. You can also try to convince your friend to help you even if he doesn't care like you. Talking with him a bit and showing how you care about that situation could change his mind seeing you are in the need of a good friend.

However, if you are scaring her, I'm afraid to say that the best thing would be to let her do her things and you to try to forget about her and continue your life. You could always find something to say to clear this up but you should think about it in your bed before sleeping or whatever, it's a great way to think about what you want to say to someone, trying to imagine how the person could react, etc...

If you can tell how her life is, with a little more details, I could help you better. But remember, no one here can do the job for you, we'll try to give our opinions but you have to do what you think is the best, you know her better than us.

I wish you the best of luck.

P.S: My English may not be perfect.

I have never once gone out of my way in excessive fashion that would "scare" her. We are actually very good friends. This wasn't meant to really be about my own problem it was more of just a way for me to vent all the emotions I have knotted up in me right now. I am concerned about her well being and if I thought that walking away would help that, or any of our mutual friends told me that it would be smart to, I'd walk without a moments hesitation.

Thanks for the luck.

And your English is pretty damn good. Since I'm assuming it's not your first language.
Entusman #54 (-_-) ||"Gold is for the Mistress-Silver for the Maid-Copper for the craftsman cunning in his trade. "Good!" said the Baron, sitting in his hall, But Iron — Cold Iron — is master of them all|| "Optimism is Cowardice."- Oswald Spengler
calin
Profile Joined February 2010
Australia107 Posts
December 10 2010 07:45 GMT
#5
You need to encourage her to seek professional help. Therapist, anti depressants and good friends are what will be the biggest help for her. Also encourage her to do some sport, even though it sounds like she isn't into that(my guess anyway) it will help her a LOT..trust me.
Zim23
Profile Joined August 2010
United States1681 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-12-10 08:00:38
December 10 2010 08:00 GMT
#6
If she went to the hospital due to a suicide attempt they won't let her go home without some psychiatric attention. It's going to sound selfish but my advice to you is to steer clear. You are too young (I'm assuming because of finals week) to be worrying about someone else' well-being, especially if they're not family. Worry about yourself and your studies and find another girl. Slowly back away to preserve her feelings, but definitely back away.

If she has bipolar disorder she needs professional help and possibly medication, you aren't equipped to provide that care, so don't feel bad about not being able to help, and don't take it upon yourself to 'fix' it. That's sometimes the worst attitude to have in these situations because more often than not there is no 'fix'.
Do an arranged marriage if she's not completely minging, and don't worry about dancing, get a go-kart, cheers.
Kimaker
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States2131 Posts
December 10 2010 09:16 GMT
#7
She's very athletic. She canoe's and hike's all the time and could probably outrun me in a longer race.

Zim, I appreciate the concern, and I understand that I personally can't do much to help her. I'm simply distressed at the state of a person that I consider one of my dearest friends. I just really needed a vent, an outlet for what I was feeling.
Entusman #54 (-_-) ||"Gold is for the Mistress-Silver for the Maid-Copper for the craftsman cunning in his trade. "Good!" said the Baron, sitting in his hall, But Iron — Cold Iron — is master of them all|| "Optimism is Cowardice."- Oswald Spengler
MisterD
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Germany1338 Posts
December 10 2010 12:19 GMT
#8
how old are the both of you if you don't mind me asking?
Gold isn't everything in life... you need wood, too!
Kimaker
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States2131 Posts
December 11 2010 02:41 GMT
#9
On December 10 2010 21:19 MisterD wrote:
how old are the both of you if you don't mind me asking?

Early twenties.

Visited her today in the hospital, 8 stitches on her left forearm. She seems to be in good spirits, though she has nothing to do because of the safety concerns. No phone, no computer, etc. I'm going to visit her on Tuesday again after my last final.

Panic mode has passed, I'm thinking a bit more rationally now.
Entusman #54 (-_-) ||"Gold is for the Mistress-Silver for the Maid-Copper for the craftsman cunning in his trade. "Good!" said the Baron, sitting in his hall, But Iron — Cold Iron — is master of them all|| "Optimism is Cowardice."- Oswald Spengler
Essbee
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
Canada2371 Posts
December 11 2010 05:35 GMT
#10
On December 10 2010 14:28 Kimaker wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 10 2010 13:17 Essbee wrote:
I have some difficulties following what you said, are you scaring her or does she likes you?

If you know she likes you, not necessary love, and you know she can trust you, you should try to show her what's the good things in life, I mean, if she tried to killed herself three times, I'm afraid it will be hard for you to show her these nice things. As you said, concentrate on your studies first, and after you can check what you can do for her. Sometimes, just being more direct in how you care for her can be quite a good surprise for both of you. I can't really help since there's a lot of information I don't know (feelings, her grades in school if she even go to school, your ages, etc...) but I'm trying to give you my best input to help you. That's quite a delicate situation, I've personally never been in a situation like this so that's why I can't help that much but usually humans are socially dependent, so show her that you are here for her if you really care that much. You can also try to convince your friend to help you even if he doesn't care like you. Talking with him a bit and showing how you care about that situation could change his mind seeing you are in the need of a good friend.

However, if you are scaring her, I'm afraid to say that the best thing would be to let her do her things and you to try to forget about her and continue your life. You could always find something to say to clear this up but you should think about it in your bed before sleeping or whatever, it's a great way to think about what you want to say to someone, trying to imagine how the person could react, etc...

If you can tell how her life is, with a little more details, I could help you better. But remember, no one here can do the job for you, we'll try to give our opinions but you have to do what you think is the best, you know her better than us.

I wish you the best of luck.

P.S: My English may not be perfect.

I have never once gone out of my way in excessive fashion that would "scare" her. We are actually very good friends. This wasn't meant to really be about my own problem it was more of just a way for me to vent all the emotions I have knotted up in me right now. I am concerned about her well being and if I thought that walking away would help that, or any of our mutual friends told me that it would be smart to, I'd walk without a moments hesitation.

Thanks for the luck.

And your English is pretty damn good. Since I'm assuming it's not your first language.


Well thank you, my first language is actually French but I could say that I'm almost bilingual now.

And yeah, it's really good for you if your emotions are gone, it's also very important to not think about this problem while you are studying for your finals.

If you two are close friends, just try to do like I said, find something to tell her that would cheer her up and change her way to see the life. In my first post, I said that you know her better than us, and that still applies now so you are the one who must think about that. You can always seek for some professionally help if you think that's necessary.

Cheers.
pevergreen
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Australia252 Posts
December 11 2010 07:06 GMT
#11
On December 11 2010 11:41 Kimaker wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 10 2010 21:19 MisterD wrote:
how old are the both of you if you don't mind me asking?

Early twenties.

Visited her today in the hospital, 8 stitches on her left forearm. She seems to be in good spirits, though she has nothing to do because of the safety concerns. No phone, no computer, etc. I'm going to visit her on Tuesday again after my last final.

Panic mode has passed, I'm thinking a bit more rationally now.

Good.

I went through a similar, but not as bad, situation a few years ago.

GF got depressed, tried suicide, yada yada.

She went into therapy for a year or so after leaving me, now shes...well, she isn't depressed, but she isn't exactly a valuable member of society. But she seems to be happy, so good for her.

You need to make sure you're protected, I got the same advice when I asked a guy who is married to a lady who is bi-polar.
jacen
Profile Blog Joined April 2004
Austria3644 Posts
December 11 2010 07:30 GMT
#12
On December 11 2010 16:06 pevergreen wrote:
She went into therapy for a year or so after leaving me, now shes...well, she isn't depressed, but she isn't exactly a valuable member of society. But she seems to be happy, so good for her.


can you tell a little more about that?
(micronesia) lol we aren't going to just permban you (micronesia) "we" excludes Jinro
AyeH
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States534 Posts
December 11 2010 07:32 GMT
#13
she needs therapy. you need to do well on your finals. after you get your stuff cleaned up, then worry about her. she's only going down a self destructive path and you dont need to follow her. unless she gets serious help with meds, she wont be able to be "normal".
Is it in you?
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