• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EST 15:22
CET 21:22
KST 05:22
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
RSL Revival - 2025 Season Finals Preview8RSL Season 3 - Playoffs Preview0RSL Season 3 - RO16 Groups C & D Preview0RSL Season 3 - RO16 Groups A & B Preview2TL.net Map Contest #21: Winners12
Community News
$21,000 Rongyi Cup Season 3 announced (Jan 22-Feb 7)11Weekly Cups (Dec 29-Jan 4): Protoss rolls, 2v2 returns6[BSL21] Non-Korean Championship - Starts Jan 103SC2 All-Star Invitational: Jan 17-1822Weekly Cups (Dec 22-28): Classic & MaxPax win, Percival surprises3
StarCraft 2
General
Spontaneous hotkey change zerg Chinese SC2 server to reopen; live all-star event in Hangzhou Weekly Cups (Dec 29-Jan 4): Protoss rolls, 2v2 returns SC2 All-Star Invitational: Jan 17-18 Weekly Cups (Dec 22-28): Classic & MaxPax win, Percival surprises
Tourneys
$21,000 Rongyi Cup Season 3 announced (Jan 22-Feb 7) WardiTV Winter Cup WardiTV Mondays SC2 AI Tournament 2026 OSC Season 13 World Championship
Strategy
Simple Questions Simple Answers
Custom Maps
Map Editor closed ?
External Content
Mutation # 508 Violent Night Mutation # 507 Well Trained Mutation # 506 Warp Zone Mutation # 505 Rise From Ashes
Brood War
General
I would like to say something about StarCraft Potential ASL qualifier breakthroughs? BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ BW General Discussion StarCraft & BroodWar Campaign Speedrun Quest
Tourneys
[Megathread] Daily Proleagues [BSL21] Grand Finals - Sunday 21:00 CET [BSL21] Non-Korean Championship - Starts Jan 10 SLON Grand Finals – Season 2
Strategy
Game Theory for Starcraft Simple Questions, Simple Answers Current Meta [G] How to get started on ladder as a new Z player
Other Games
General Games
Awesome Games Done Quick 2026! Mechabellum Beyond All Reason Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread General RTS Discussion Thread
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
Vanilla Mini Mafia Mafia Game Mode Feedback/Ideas
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread European Politico-economics QA Mega-thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine Russo-Ukrainian War Thread Trading/Investing Thread
Fan Clubs
White-Ra Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
Anime Discussion Thread
Sports
2024 - 2026 Football Thread Formula 1 Discussion
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread
TL Community
The Automated Ban List TL+ Announced
Blogs
My 2025 Magic: The Gathering…
DARKING
Physical Exercise (HIIT) Bef…
TrAiDoS
Life Update and thoughts.
FuDDx
How do archons sleep?
8882
James Bond movies ranking - pa…
Topin
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 2017 users

Starcraft Beards

Blogs > SirJolt
Post a Reply
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4010 Posts
September 05 2010 23:13 GMT
#1
You can tell a lot about how a man plays Starcraft from the state of his facial hair. Generally, the guys you play on Battle.net won’t have particularly formidable facial hair, but let’s say you’re in a tournament, things are getting rough, you need to know as much about your next opponent as possible, without him learning about you.

Using techniques developed by the FBI to help with criminal profiling, you could learn more about their play style than you’d imagine, simply by investigating an opponent’s facial hair.

Classic Zergling Stubble:

It’s nothing fancy, it practically manages itself. While everyone else is sitting around waiting for their beard to grow to an appreciable length, managing everything carefully, there’s a guy out there who shaved at nine o’clock this morning running around with what passes for a bit of a beard by the evening.

[image loading]

This is the six-pool of beards. You’re sitting there, building up your workers, and you’re pretty sure you’ve got things under control, then, just as you scout, bam, there are already zerglings on the way. It’s reasonably elegant, and it’s there sooner than you’d expect.

It’s a panic-beard.


Burrowed Roaches:

There are times when you’re scouting around, and you just cannot for the life of you find a beard. I mean, clearly this guy has something going on in his chin region, but a beard it ain’t. There’s nothing going on you could see without specialised equipment.

[image loading]

Burrowed roaches. I’m telling you man, you see a guy with this chin, that’s what’s up. Think of it in purely literal terms… something horrifying, lurking just beneath the surface, and it’s full of greenish goo. No matter how hard you try to kill it, it’s going to come back later.

Horrifying.

Bristling Defense:

There are always going to be some who go the extra mile when it comes to preening their beard. They keep everything in order, make sure that every single hair is brushed into the right position.

[image loading]

Think about it, a face lined with spines = a base lined with spine crawlers, turrets, or photon cannons. I’m not saying this is something you can 100% rely on all the time, but I am saying that I guarantee it’s something you can rely on every single time. It’s never wrong.

This is exactly the kind of beard a turtle would grow. Or a sea tortoise maybe.

Sauron Zerg:

This one is a bit harder to spot, but one of the big helps is that people who play in a particular style might have more than just a beard to tell you what they’re thinking. In some cases, it’s a question of body language and comportment.

[image loading]

This guy has Sauron Zerg written all over him. I mean, look at how well he’s microing those bees to keep them out of his ears! The man is clearly in control of a vast number of tiny things all at once. There’s also a version that indicates that a player has an affinity for overlords and may be hoping to get a good drop in, but it’s a bit rarer.


+ Show Spoiler +


The overlord beard:

[image loading]



Cheese Beards:

There are a few beards that indicate that your opponent might be up to something a bit cheesier than you’d normally need to prepare for. The most obvious of these is the straight up beard-made-out-of-canned-cheese.

[image loading]

It should be fairly easy to spot. Others tend to centre around the essential deception of the beard itself. In these situations, you’ll need to keep a close eye on just what the beard is trying to say, versus what’s going on in the background. I’ve included a number of examples.

+ Show Spoiler +


[image loading]

And the ever popular:

[image loading]



Honorable Mentions:

+ Show Spoiler +


Fast Robo:

[image loading]

Storm Beard:

So named for its infamously patchy nature and the potentially hit-and-miss quality of the beard depending on the player.

[image loading]

Off Expansion:

You know when you check someone's base, and everything's where it should be, nothing's out of place, then all of a sudden they have expansions in fucking ridiculous places?

[image loading]




****
Moderator@SirJolt
r33k
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Italy3402 Posts
September 05 2010 23:24 GMT
#2
Beards are awesome.
Najda
Profile Joined June 2010
United States3765 Posts
September 05 2010 23:29 GMT
#3
I think the hidden expansion is the best one :O They are all great though.
flamewheel
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
FREEAGLELAND26782 Posts
September 05 2010 23:38 GMT
#4
On September 06 2010 08:29 Najda wrote:
I think the hidden expansion is the best one :O They are all great though.

I agree heartily with your statement.

SirJolt you always provide amusing blogs.
Writerdamn, i was two days from retirement
deathgod6
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
United States5064 Posts
September 05 2010 23:46 GMT
#5
lol great blog.
4.0 GPA = A rank 5.0 GPA = Olympic --------- Bisu, Best, Fantasy. i ♥ oov. They can get in my BoxeR anyday.
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4010 Posts
September 05 2010 23:55 GMT
#6
On September 06 2010 08:38 flamewheel wrote:
SirJolt you always provide amusing blogs.


Thanks F, very much appreciated
Moderator@SirJolt
Adeny
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Norway1233 Posts
September 06 2010 00:06 GMT
#7
You forgot the most important one: The Adeny beard.
endy
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Switzerland8970 Posts
September 06 2010 00:19 GMT
#8
nice blog. and some incredibly funny pictures
ॐ
PH
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States6173 Posts
September 06 2010 00:52 GMT
#9
amazing. 5/5.
Hello
Kinky
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
United States4126 Posts
September 06 2010 01:09 GMT
#10
On September 06 2010 09:06 Adeny wrote:
You forgot the most important one: The Adeny beard.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYi24D9lHqc

That's a pretty sick beard
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4010 Posts
September 06 2010 01:55 GMT
#11
That beard is among the most impressive things I've ever seen :D
Moderator@SirJolt
Defeat
Profile Joined March 2010
United States476 Posts
September 06 2010 03:58 GMT
#12
Nice blog sir :}>
"the metagame has really evolved to the point where the best chance to win the metagame is to game the metagame" -Bags
OpticalShot
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Canada6330 Posts
September 06 2010 04:06 GMT
#13
Omg hidden expo lolol
[TLMS] REBOOT
hp.Shell
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States2527 Posts
September 06 2010 04:26 GMT
#14
[image loading]
Please PM me with any songs you like that you think I haven't heard before!
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4010 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-09-07 14:33:15
September 07 2010 14:32 GMT
#15
I saw a couple of really amazing moustaches/beards like the above, but couldn't link them to StarCraft in any way, and so had to sideline them. It felt bad to do so

Truly they are majestic beasts.
Moderator@SirJolt
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
BSL 21
20:00
Non-Korean Championship
ZZZero.O100
LiquipediaDiscussion
IPSL
20:00
Ro4 Set 2
DragOn vs Sziky
Liquipedia
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
White-Ra 192
Railgan 77
SC2Nice 68
StarCraft: Brood War
Dewaltoss 127
ZZZero.O 100
Dota 2
420jenkins340
LuMiX1
League of Legends
KnowMe146
Counter-Strike
fl0m6766
pashabiceps1759
Heroes of the Storm
Liquid`Hasu486
Other Games
FrodaN5690
Grubby4408
Liquid`RaSZi3477
B2W.Neo940
Beastyqt690
Harstem415
mouzStarbuck369
trigger247
ArmadaUGS193
Ketroc21
Organizations
Other Games
gamesdonequick4720
EGCTV1005
StarCraft 2
angryscii 53
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 19 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• HeavenSC 17
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• sooper7s
• intothetv
• Migwel
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
StarCraft: Brood War
• Airneanach28
• HerbMon 28
• 80smullet 21
• Michael_bg 5
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
• BSLYoutube
Dota 2
• HappyZerGling84
League of Legends
• Nemesis4137
Other Games
• imaqtpie2502
• Shiphtur466
Upcoming Events
Replay Cast
12h 38m
Wardi Open
17h 38m
Monday Night Weeklies
20h 38m
WardiTV Invitational
1d 15h
WardiTV Invitational
2 days
The PondCast
3 days
OSC
3 days
OSC
4 days
All Star Teams
5 days
INnoVation vs soO
sOs vs Scarlett
uThermal 2v2 Circuit
5 days
[ Show More ]
All Star Teams
6 days
MMA vs DongRaeGu
Rogue vs Oliveira
Sparkling Tuna Cup
6 days
OSC
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Proleague 2026-01-10
Big Gabe Cup #3
META Madness #9

Ongoing

C-Race Season 1
IPSL Winter 2025-26
BSL 21 Non-Korean Championship
Proleague 2026-01-11
OSC Championship Season 13
Underdog Cup #3
NA Kuram Kup
eXTREMESLAND 2025
SL Budapest Major 2025
ESL Impact League Season 8
BLAST Rivals Fall 2025
IEM Chengdu 2025
PGL Masters Bucharest 2025

Upcoming

CSL 2025 WINTER (S19)
Escore Tournament S1: W4
Acropolis #4
IPSL Spring 2026
Bellum Gens Elite Stara Zagora 2026
HSC XXVIII
Rongyi Cup S3
Thunderfire SC2 All-star 2025
Nations Cup 2026
BLAST Open Spring 2026
ESL Pro League Season 23
ESL Pro League Season 23
PGL Cluj-Napoca 2026
IEM Kraków 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter Qual
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.