Using techniques developed by the FBI to help with criminal profiling, you could learn more about their play style than you’d imagine, simply by investigating an opponent’s facial hair.
Classic Zergling Stubble:
It’s nothing fancy, it practically manages itself. While everyone else is sitting around waiting for their beard to grow to an appreciable length, managing everything carefully, there’s a guy out there who shaved at nine o’clock this morning running around with what passes for a bit of a beard by the evening.
This is the six-pool of beards. You’re sitting there, building up your workers, and you’re pretty sure you’ve got things under control, then, just as you scout, bam, there are already zerglings on the way. It’s reasonably elegant, and it’s there sooner than you’d expect.
It’s a panic-beard.
Burrowed Roaches:
There are times when you’re scouting around, and you just cannot for the life of you find a beard. I mean, clearly this guy has something going on in his chin region, but a beard it ain’t. There’s nothing going on you could see without specialised equipment.
Burrowed roaches. I’m telling you man, you see a guy with this chin, that’s what’s up. Think of it in purely literal terms… something horrifying, lurking just beneath the surface, and it’s full of greenish goo. No matter how hard you try to kill it, it’s going to come back later.
Horrifying.
Bristling Defense:
There are always going to be some who go the extra mile when it comes to preening their beard. They keep everything in order, make sure that every single hair is brushed into the right position.
Think about it, a face lined with spines = a base lined with spine crawlers, turrets, or photon cannons. I’m not saying this is something you can 100% rely on all the time, but I am saying that I guarantee it’s something you can rely on every single time. It’s never wrong.
This is exactly the kind of beard a turtle would grow. Or a sea tortoise maybe.
Sauron Zerg:
This one is a bit harder to spot, but one of the big helps is that people who play in a particular style might have more than just a beard to tell you what they’re thinking. In some cases, it’s a question of body language and comportment.
This guy has Sauron Zerg written all over him. I mean, look at how well he’s microing those bees to keep them out of his ears! The man is clearly in control of a vast number of tiny things all at once. There’s also a version that indicates that a player has an affinity for overlords and may be hoping to get a good drop in, but it’s a bit rarer.
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Cheese Beards:
There are a few beards that indicate that your opponent might be up to something a bit cheesier than you’d normally need to prepare for. The most obvious of these is the straight up beard-made-out-of-canned-cheese.
It should be fairly easy to spot. Others tend to centre around the essential deception of the beard itself. In these situations, you’ll need to keep a close eye on just what the beard is trying to say, versus what’s going on in the background. I’ve included a number of examples.
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Honorable Mentions:
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Fast Robo:
Storm Beard:
So named for its infamously patchy nature and the potentially hit-and-miss quality of the beard depending on the player.
Off Expansion:
You know when you check someone's base, and everything's where it should be, nothing's out of place, then all of a sudden they have expansions in fucking ridiculous places?