• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 04:21
CEST 10:21
KST 17:21
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
[ASL21] Ro24 Preview Pt2: News Flash8[ASL21] Ro24 Preview Pt1: New Chaos0Team Liquid Map Contest #22 - Presented by Monster Energy15ByuL: The Forgotten Master of ZvT30Behind the Blue - Team Liquid History Book20
Community News
Weekly Cups (March 23-29): herO takes triple6Aligulac acquired by REPLAYMAN.com/Stego Research7Weekly Cups (March 16-22): herO doubles, Cure surprises3Blizzard Classic Cup @ BlizzCon 2026 - $100k prize pool49Weekly Cups (March 9-15): herO, Clem, ByuN win4
StarCraft 2
General
Team Liquid Map Contest #22 - Presented by Monster Energy Aligulac acquired by REPLAYMAN.com/Stego Research Weekly Cups (March 23-29): herO takes triple What mix of new & old maps do you want in the next ladder pool? (SC2) herO wins SC2 All-Star Invitational
Tourneys
Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament RSL Season 4 announced for March-April StarCraft Evolution League (SC Evo Biweekly) WardiTV Mondays World University TeamLeague (500$+) | Signups Open
Strategy
Custom Maps
[M] (2) Frigid Storage Publishing has been re-enabled! [Feb 24th 2026]
External Content
Mutation # 519 Inner Power The PondCast: SC2 News & Results Mutation # 518 Radiation Zone Mutation # 517 Distant Threat
Brood War
General
ASL21 General Discussion Behind the scenes footage of ASL21 Group E BW General Discussion BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ Build Order Practice Maps
Tourneys
[ASL21] Ro24 Group F Azhi's Colosseum - Foreign KCM [ASL21] Ro24 Group E [ASL21] Ro24 Group D
Strategy
What's the deal with APM & what's its true value Fighting Spirit mining rates Simple Questions, Simple Answers
Other Games
General Games
Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Nintendo Switch Thread Starcraft Tabletop Miniature Game General RTS Discussion Thread Darkest Dungeon
Dota 2
The Story of Wings Gaming Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
G2 just beat GenG in First stand
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
Mafia Game Mode Feedback/Ideas TL Mafia Community Thread Five o'clock TL Mafia
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread Canadian Politics Mega-thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine The Games Industry And ATVI European Politico-economics QA Mega-thread
Fan Clubs
The IdrA Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
[Manga] One Piece [Req][Books] Good Fantasy/SciFi books Movie Discussion!
Sports
2024 - 2026 Football Thread Formula 1 Discussion Cricket [SPORT] Tokyo Olympics 2021 Thread General nutrition recommendations
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
[G] How to Block Livestream Ads
TL Community
The Automated Ban List
Blogs
Funny Nicknames
LUCKY_NOOB
Money Laundering In Video Ga…
TrAiDoS
Iranian anarchists: organize…
XenOsky
FS++
Kraekkling
Shocked by a laser…
Spydermine0240
ASL S21 English Commentary…
namkraft
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 7881 users

Starcraft Beards

Blogs > SirJolt
Post a Reply
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4010 Posts
September 05 2010 23:13 GMT
#1
You can tell a lot about how a man plays Starcraft from the state of his facial hair. Generally, the guys you play on Battle.net won’t have particularly formidable facial hair, but let’s say you’re in a tournament, things are getting rough, you need to know as much about your next opponent as possible, without him learning about you.

Using techniques developed by the FBI to help with criminal profiling, you could learn more about their play style than you’d imagine, simply by investigating an opponent’s facial hair.

Classic Zergling Stubble:

It’s nothing fancy, it practically manages itself. While everyone else is sitting around waiting for their beard to grow to an appreciable length, managing everything carefully, there’s a guy out there who shaved at nine o’clock this morning running around with what passes for a bit of a beard by the evening.

[image loading]

This is the six-pool of beards. You’re sitting there, building up your workers, and you’re pretty sure you’ve got things under control, then, just as you scout, bam, there are already zerglings on the way. It’s reasonably elegant, and it’s there sooner than you’d expect.

It’s a panic-beard.


Burrowed Roaches:

There are times when you’re scouting around, and you just cannot for the life of you find a beard. I mean, clearly this guy has something going on in his chin region, but a beard it ain’t. There’s nothing going on you could see without specialised equipment.

[image loading]

Burrowed roaches. I’m telling you man, you see a guy with this chin, that’s what’s up. Think of it in purely literal terms… something horrifying, lurking just beneath the surface, and it’s full of greenish goo. No matter how hard you try to kill it, it’s going to come back later.

Horrifying.

Bristling Defense:

There are always going to be some who go the extra mile when it comes to preening their beard. They keep everything in order, make sure that every single hair is brushed into the right position.

[image loading]

Think about it, a face lined with spines = a base lined with spine crawlers, turrets, or photon cannons. I’m not saying this is something you can 100% rely on all the time, but I am saying that I guarantee it’s something you can rely on every single time. It’s never wrong.

This is exactly the kind of beard a turtle would grow. Or a sea tortoise maybe.

Sauron Zerg:

This one is a bit harder to spot, but one of the big helps is that people who play in a particular style might have more than just a beard to tell you what they’re thinking. In some cases, it’s a question of body language and comportment.

[image loading]

This guy has Sauron Zerg written all over him. I mean, look at how well he’s microing those bees to keep them out of his ears! The man is clearly in control of a vast number of tiny things all at once. There’s also a version that indicates that a player has an affinity for overlords and may be hoping to get a good drop in, but it’s a bit rarer.


+ Show Spoiler +


The overlord beard:

[image loading]



Cheese Beards:

There are a few beards that indicate that your opponent might be up to something a bit cheesier than you’d normally need to prepare for. The most obvious of these is the straight up beard-made-out-of-canned-cheese.

[image loading]

It should be fairly easy to spot. Others tend to centre around the essential deception of the beard itself. In these situations, you’ll need to keep a close eye on just what the beard is trying to say, versus what’s going on in the background. I’ve included a number of examples.

+ Show Spoiler +


[image loading]

And the ever popular:

[image loading]



Honorable Mentions:

+ Show Spoiler +


Fast Robo:

[image loading]

Storm Beard:

So named for its infamously patchy nature and the potentially hit-and-miss quality of the beard depending on the player.

[image loading]

Off Expansion:

You know when you check someone's base, and everything's where it should be, nothing's out of place, then all of a sudden they have expansions in fucking ridiculous places?

[image loading]




****
Moderator@SirJolt
r33k
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Italy3402 Posts
September 05 2010 23:24 GMT
#2
Beards are awesome.
Najda
Profile Joined June 2010
United States3765 Posts
September 05 2010 23:29 GMT
#3
I think the hidden expansion is the best one :O They are all great though.
flamewheel
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
FREEAGLELAND26782 Posts
September 05 2010 23:38 GMT
#4
On September 06 2010 08:29 Najda wrote:
I think the hidden expansion is the best one :O They are all great though.

I agree heartily with your statement.

SirJolt you always provide amusing blogs.
Writerdamn, i was two days from retirement
deathgod6
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
United States5064 Posts
September 05 2010 23:46 GMT
#5
lol great blog.
4.0 GPA = A rank 5.0 GPA = Olympic --------- Bisu, Best, Fantasy. i ♥ oov. They can get in my BoxeR anyday.
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4010 Posts
September 05 2010 23:55 GMT
#6
On September 06 2010 08:38 flamewheel wrote:
SirJolt you always provide amusing blogs.


Thanks F, very much appreciated
Moderator@SirJolt
Adeny
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Norway1233 Posts
September 06 2010 00:06 GMT
#7
You forgot the most important one: The Adeny beard.
endy
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Switzerland8970 Posts
September 06 2010 00:19 GMT
#8
nice blog. and some incredibly funny pictures
ॐ
PH
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States6173 Posts
September 06 2010 00:52 GMT
#9
amazing. 5/5.
Hello
Kinky
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
United States4126 Posts
September 06 2010 01:09 GMT
#10
On September 06 2010 09:06 Adeny wrote:
You forgot the most important one: The Adeny beard.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYi24D9lHqc

That's a pretty sick beard
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4010 Posts
September 06 2010 01:55 GMT
#11
That beard is among the most impressive things I've ever seen :D
Moderator@SirJolt
Defeat
Profile Joined March 2010
United States476 Posts
September 06 2010 03:58 GMT
#12
Nice blog sir :}>
"the metagame has really evolved to the point where the best chance to win the metagame is to game the metagame" -Bags
OpticalShot
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Canada6330 Posts
September 06 2010 04:06 GMT
#13
Omg hidden expo lolol
[TLMS] REBOOT
hp.Shell
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States2527 Posts
September 06 2010 04:26 GMT
#14
[image loading]
Please PM me with any songs you like that you think I haven't heard before!
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4010 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-09-07 14:33:15
September 07 2010 14:32 GMT
#15
I saw a couple of really amazing moustaches/beards like the above, but couldn't link them to StarCraft in any way, and so had to sideline them. It felt bad to do so

Truly they are majestic beasts.
Moderator@SirJolt
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Next event in 1h 39m
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
Nina 104
StarCraft: Brood War
firebathero 1184
Sea 573
PianO 182
Shine 79
Killer 72
actioN 50
soO 42
Noble 42
sorry 27
Shinee 19
[ Show more ]
ajuk12(nOOB) 17
NaDa 14
NotJumperer 4
Dota 2
XcaliburYe184
NeuroSwarm84
League of Legends
JimRising 510
Counter-Strike
Stewie2K838
olofmeister436
Other Games
summit1g9046
ceh9586
Happy278
ProTech110
Organizations
Other Games
gamesdonequick828
StarCraft: Brood War
UltimateBattle 72
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 16 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• Berry_CruncH362
• LUISG 5
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Migwel
• sooper7s
StarCraft: Brood War
• iopq 2
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
League of Legends
• Stunt777
• Jankos702
• HappyZerGling110
Upcoming Events
The PondCast
1h 39m
OSC
15h 39m
RSL Revival
1d 1h
TriGGeR vs Cure
ByuN vs Rogue
Replay Cast
1d 15h
RSL Revival
2 days
Maru vs MaxPax
BSL
2 days
RSL Revival
2 days
uThermal 2v2 Circuit
3 days
BSL
3 days
Afreeca Starleague
4 days
[ Show More ]
Replay Cast
4 days
Sparkling Tuna Cup
5 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Proleague 2026-03-31
WardiTV Winter 2026
NationLESS Cup

Ongoing

BSL Season 22
CSL Elite League 2026
CSL Season 20: Qualifier 1
ASL Season 21
CSL Season 20: Qualifier 2
RSL Revival: Season 4
Nations Cup 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 1
BLAST Open Spring 2026
ESL Pro League S23 Finals
ESL Pro League S23 Stage 1&2
PGL Cluj-Napoca 2026
IEM Kraków 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter Qual

Upcoming

Escore Tournament S2: W1
CSL 2026 SPRING (S20)
Acropolis #4
IPSL Spring 2026
BSL 22 Non-Korean Championship
CSLAN 4
Kung Fu Cup 2026 Grand Finals
HSC XXIX
uThermal 2v2 2026 Main Event
StarCraft2 Community Team League 2026 Spring
IEM Cologne Major 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 2
CS Asia Championships 2026
IEM Atlanta 2026
Asian Champions League 2026
PGL Astana 2026
BLAST Rivals Spring 2026
CCT Season 3 Global Finals
IEM Rio 2026
PGL Bucharest 2026
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.