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Will it always hurt?

Blogs > Pika Chu
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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Next All
Pika Chu
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
Romania2510 Posts
March 24 2010 21:09 GMT
#1
I hate blogs, i never thought I'll make one, here or anywhere. I simply need to write this, since i don't feel like talking with anyone known.

So i just got a NO from a girl i really liked. It's strange, we are colleagues and were so at this master for almost 2 years now. I've always found her interesting and a nice company. I started really liking her a couple of weeks ago. It's maybe because I've found her "human nature" her sensitivity at that point. She simply opened up on me and i tend to like sensitive persons, people who can let me read them, people that are alive, that are human. Hard to explain this properly but it doesn't matter.

So i tried to tell her my feelings, just being direct and sincere. Today i finally had that occasion. I told her, went directly all-in since i liked her... in a profound way, almost getting in love with her. She looked at me amazed while i continued with my speech. She was "oh my god..." and after i told her what i wanted (which is never enough, i would've need 2 days to say everything) i asked her to be sincere about me and tell me if she's interested or not, and she finally told me she's not interested.

I was expecting this, even though she gave me a lot of "interest" signs. Didn't think it will hurt this much, i prepared myself for it... but no matter it still hurts.

I've been in this situation many times. I'm used to it, i don't want any "time will heal, it will pass, etc". And even after happening for so many times, it still hurts.

I would expect everytime this happens you get less sensitive on it and finally you will be immune to it. It will simply not hurt any longer.

So what do you guys think? Will stuff like these always hurt no matter how many you experience and suffer for?

*
They first ignore you. After they laugh at you. Next they will fight you. In the end you will win.
Hypnosis
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
United States2061 Posts
March 24 2010 21:12 GMT
#2
Everytime it happens you learn though and eventually you will be mature enough and good enough at it that it will work out. Don't expect it to be perfect and DONT FUCKING READ THEIR SIGNS AND ASSUME THEY LIKE YOU. Girls are friendly to all guys ok? If a girl likes you she will do everything in her power to get you, not just sit there like a retard and hope you ask her out.

yes it will always hurt until you find the right person, then it will never happen or need to happen again.

This is all hypothetical though :D
Science without religion is lame, Religion without science is blind
arb
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Noobville17922 Posts
March 24 2010 21:14 GMT
#3
unless that bitch is wanting to gobble your dick leave her alone
Artillery spawned from the forges of Hell
SanguineToss
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada815 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-03-24 21:17:31
March 24 2010 21:16 GMT
#4
"So i just got a NO from a girl i really liked. It's strange, we are colleagues and were so at this master for almost 2 years now."

Its strange because you guys were colleagues for 2 years and that means that she should say yes to you? I'm sorry, either I'm reading this wrong because of my lack of sleep or your just...wrong?

It's good that you got your feelings out to her, it's better to do that than just stuffing all your emotions and love for her bottled up in your heart. Not everything goes out for us males unfortunately

For your question, I'm pretty sure a rejection is a rejection and the feeling you get after it will always be the same. There's a quote “The greater your capacity to love, the greater your capacity to feel the pain.” in anything we put our time and effort and love in it, if it rejects us it will fuck with our minds for a while.

condolences

And

good luck with your future girl
love1another
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States1844 Posts
March 24 2010 21:17 GMT
#5
I've had a few totally eligible female friends who don't really know how to do anything but sit there like a retard hoping the guy they like asks her out. It's really sad, and somewhat frustrating to hear the continuous/constant whining, but usually works out in the end!

@OP: Yah. It hurts. Or at least it did the first 4 or 5 times I've had my heart broken... recently, I've sort of become disillusioned at the idea of romance and am, instead, in favor of communal love. Love your fellow man/woman and enjoy SC!
"I'm learning more and more that TL isn't the place to go for advice outside of anything you need in college. It's like you guys just make up your own fantasy world shit and post it as if you've done it." - Chill
SanguineToss
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada815 Posts
March 24 2010 21:18 GMT
#6
Oh and also, invest in your love and time to SC..it will never reject you!


lolz
SoLaR[i.C]
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States2969 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-03-24 21:34:46
March 24 2010 21:22 GMT
#7
The opportunity that rejection provides is LEARNING why you aren't getting mutual attraction.

You need to stop wallowing in your own self-pity for god's sake and realize that doing so is only exacerbating your inability to attract women.

p.s. - I can also tell you right off the bat, that if you are seeking partners by immediately professing your attraction/love to them... that's a wonderful method for remaining single.
love1another
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States1844 Posts
March 24 2010 21:25 GMT
#8
@Solar: I don't know how relevant your advice is. My suitemate, upon being asked for girl advice, offered the concise answer "Don't worry about your first date, or even asking her out. Just show her your penis and she's yours." He is such an inspiring fellow that I seek to emulate his excellence through every breath of my existence.
"I'm learning more and more that TL isn't the place to go for advice outside of anything you need in college. It's like you guys just make up your own fantasy world shit and post it as if you've done it." - Chill
SoLaR[i.C]
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States2969 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-03-24 21:29:42
March 24 2010 21:29 GMT
#9
Hahaha, while I will agree that it's potentially a better method than the OP's, it's even BETTER at landing you a cozy spot on MegansLaw.com
kainzero
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States5211 Posts
March 24 2010 21:30 GMT
#10
it only hurts because you waited so long.
if you met a girl in 5 minutes and got rejected then it's just whatever.
love1another
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States1844 Posts
March 24 2010 21:31 GMT
#11
Oh, you mean that new dating site I've been hearing so much about? :p
"I'm learning more and more that TL isn't the place to go for advice outside of anything you need in college. It's like you guys just make up your own fantasy world shit and post it as if you've done it." - Chill
zealing
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Canada806 Posts
March 24 2010 21:32 GMT
#12
going all-in is meant to "overwhelm" your opponent in a risky attack that can fail if not controlled properly, it sounds like you should have just opened with a 12 hatch and slowly and steadily transitioned into a 3hatch muta instead of going for a quick 2hatch hydra rush.

o well gg no re it seams for you. but don't worry there are plenty of other players out there just play safe and don't rush it.

and sure it will hurt, its suppose to hurt, you don't cheer when your 4pool fails you become but you gg QQ and start again with more experience and maturity.

gl hf keep practicing
Think you got lag? It took Jesus 3 days to respawn.
Pika Chu
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
Romania2510 Posts
March 24 2010 21:54 GMT
#13
SanguineToss you got that all out of the context . I meant it was strange because i liked her JUST now, for a month ... and not for two years, i've started liking her recently and that does puzzle me a bit.

Solar, i know that mate. I'm not wallowing me in self-pity... that's not what i'm doing, i'm just sharing this so i can feel better. I don't need/want any advices on how to make it good with girls. I don't need it, and they never apply everywhere simply because people are different.

I didn't want to just sleep with the girl in case that's not understood, i mean really liking her.

Well, thanks guys for replies, all it matters is at least someone red what i wrote So thanks, it does make me feel a tiny.. very tiny better.
They first ignore you. After they laugh at you. Next they will fight you. In the end you will win.
love1another
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States1844 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-03-24 21:57:42
March 24 2010 21:55 GMT
#14
On March 25 2010 06:30 kainzero wrote:
it only hurts because you waited so long.
if you met a girl in 5 minutes and got rejected then it's just whatever.

I don't know. If you can get managed to get rejected in the course of 5 minutes from first contact, you must have mad skills. I'd say that's heartily more noteworthy than a generic "whatever." I'd even daresay it would be epic.
On March 25 2010 06:54 Pika Chu wrote:
SanguineToss you got that all out of the context . I meant it was strange because i liked her JUST now, for a month ... and not for two years, i've started liking her recently and that does puzzle me a bit.

Solar, i know that mate. I'm not wallowing me in self-pity... that's not what i'm doing, i'm just sharing this so i can feel better. I don't need/want any advices on how to make it good with girls. I don't need it, and they never apply everywhere simply because people are different.

I didn't want to just sleep with the girl in case that's not understood, i mean really liking her.

Well, thanks guys for replies, all it matters is at least someone red what i wrote So thanks, it does make me feel a tiny.. very tiny better.

Now that you're on the path to recovery, one speedy way a friend of mine discovered to accelerate the process is to dedicate the fruits of your labor and love into making a 100% authentic-looking pikachu costume. I figured it would be a particularly poignant experience considering you're name are such a cutie.
"I'm learning more and more that TL isn't the place to go for advice outside of anything you need in college. It's like you guys just make up your own fantasy world shit and post it as if you've done it." - Chill
mechanix
Profile Joined March 2010
33 Posts
March 24 2010 22:03 GMT
#15
love is awesome man. there is a distinction between attraction and love though. when you are attracted to a girl, 90% of the time its because society told you to be attracted to her (looks, money, whatever).

love is an attraction to the energetic qualities a person possesses, and its almost impossible to have that without it being a mutual thing. i can sort of tell you are a romantic type, and probably a nice guy. these are great qualities to have, and when you find someone right for you, and are open to receiving that person, it will be magical.
nosliw
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States2716 Posts
March 24 2010 22:04 GMT
#16
It sounds a lot like my personal experience. I didn't wait that long though; it was only 3-4 months. It hurts, and it probably always will. Oh, and screw the signs... they are totally unreliable. It's like playing a PvZ with the Z having a randomized building cost each game, and all the timings are different.

The transition from being "close friend" to being "boyfriend" is something that I don't understand. Some are totally against it, while others think it's good.
Jibba
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
United States22883 Posts
March 24 2010 22:15 GMT
#17
Problems: You took too long. Depending on the relationship, it's possible. Clearly this wasn't one of those.
You made it too serious. Very few people want to be overwhelmed like that, even if you feel that way.

Anyways, one way to look at it is it's better to be 0/2 than 0/1.
ModeratorNow I'm distant, dark in this anthrobeat
Horiz0n
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
Sweden364 Posts
March 24 2010 22:31 GMT
#18
Every time someone you care about rejects you it hurts,
be afraid of the day a rejection doesn't hurt
reincremate
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
China2216 Posts
March 24 2010 22:35 GMT
#19
On March 25 2010 06:54 Pika Chu wrote:
SanguineToss you got that all out of the context . I meant it was strange because i liked her JUST now, for a month ... and not for two years, i've started liking her recently and that does puzzle me a bit.

It's not uncommon to start liking someone once you get to know him/her better. It's partly due to the mere exposure effect (in a nutshell, more exposure --> more liking) and probably also in part due to unique circumstances. Also you may have subconsciously liked her for a while without consciously realizing it.
KurtistheTurtle
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States1966 Posts
March 24 2010 22:44 GMT
#20
She just said no once? Stop being a pussy and don't sweat it, it just means "not yet." Give her some time and space. Don't limit yourself to her either. Whatever happens, happens. Do what you do and whatever happens its all right, its cool. Don't put too much meaning onto any one encounter. Let yourself feel how ridiculous and crazy and awesome everything is.
“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears."
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