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I hate blogs, i never thought I'll make one, here or anywhere. I simply need to write this, since i don't feel like talking with anyone known.
So i just got a NO from a girl i really liked. It's strange, we are colleagues and were so at this master for almost 2 years now. I've always found her interesting and a nice company. I started really liking her a couple of weeks ago. It's maybe because I've found her "human nature" her sensitivity at that point. She simply opened up on me and i tend to like sensitive persons, people who can let me read them, people that are alive, that are human. Hard to explain this properly but it doesn't matter.
So i tried to tell her my feelings, just being direct and sincere. Today i finally had that occasion. I told her, went directly all-in since i liked her... in a profound way, almost getting in love with her. She looked at me amazed while i continued with my speech. She was "oh my god..." and after i told her what i wanted (which is never enough, i would've need 2 days to say everything) i asked her to be sincere about me and tell me if she's interested or not, and she finally told me she's not interested.
I was expecting this, even though she gave me a lot of "interest" signs. Didn't think it will hurt this much, i prepared myself for it... but no matter it still hurts.
I've been in this situation many times. I'm used to it, i don't want any "time will heal, it will pass, etc". And even after happening for so many times, it still hurts.
I would expect everytime this happens you get less sensitive on it and finally you will be immune to it. It will simply not hurt any longer.
So what do you guys think? Will stuff like these always hurt no matter how many you experience and suffer for?
 
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Everytime it happens you learn though and eventually you will be mature enough and good enough at it that it will work out. Don't expect it to be perfect and DONT FUCKING READ THEIR SIGNS AND ASSUME THEY LIKE YOU. Girls are friendly to all guys ok? If a girl likes you she will do everything in her power to get you, not just sit there like a retard and hope you ask her out.
yes it will always hurt until you find the right person, then it will never happen or need to happen again.
This is all hypothetical though :D
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unless that bitch is wanting to gobble your dick leave her alone
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"So i just got a NO from a girl i really liked. It's strange, we are colleagues and were so at this master for almost 2 years now."
Its strange because you guys were colleagues for 2 years and that means that she should say yes to you? I'm sorry, either I'm reading this wrong because of my lack of sleep or your just...wrong?
It's good that you got your feelings out to her, it's better to do that than just stuffing all your emotions and love for her bottled up in your heart. Not everything goes out for us males unfortunately
For your question, I'm pretty sure a rejection is a rejection and the feeling you get after it will always be the same. There's a quote “The greater your capacity to love, the greater your capacity to feel the pain.” in anything we put our time and effort and love in it, if it rejects us it will fuck with our minds for a while.
condolences
And
good luck with your future girl
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I've had a few totally eligible female friends who don't really know how to do anything but sit there like a retard hoping the guy they like asks her out. It's really sad, and somewhat frustrating to hear the continuous/constant whining, but usually works out in the end!
@OP: Yah. It hurts. Or at least it did the first 4 or 5 times I've had my heart broken... recently, I've sort of become disillusioned at the idea of romance and am, instead, in favor of communal love. Love your fellow man/woman and enjoy SC!
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Oh and also, invest in your love and time to SC..it will never reject you!
lolz
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The opportunity that rejection provides is LEARNING why you aren't getting mutual attraction.
You need to stop wallowing in your own self-pity for god's sake and realize that doing so is only exacerbating your inability to attract women.
p.s. - I can also tell you right off the bat, that if you are seeking partners by immediately professing your attraction/love to them... that's a wonderful method for remaining single.
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@Solar: I don't know how relevant your advice is. My suitemate, upon being asked for girl advice, offered the concise answer "Don't worry about your first date, or even asking her out. Just show her your penis and she's yours." He is such an inspiring fellow that I seek to emulate his excellence through every breath of my existence.
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Hahaha, while I will agree that it's potentially a better method than the OP's, it's even BETTER at landing you a cozy spot on MegansLaw.com
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it only hurts because you waited so long.
if you met a girl in 5 minutes and got rejected then it's just whatever.
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Oh, you mean that new dating site I've been hearing so much about? :p
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going all-in is meant to "overwhelm" your opponent in a risky attack that can fail if not controlled properly, it sounds like you should have just opened with a 12 hatch and slowly and steadily transitioned into a 3hatch muta instead of going for a quick 2hatch hydra rush.
o well gg no re it seams for you. but don't worry there are plenty of other players out there just play safe and don't rush it.
and sure it will hurt, its suppose to hurt, you don't cheer when your 4pool fails you become but you gg QQ and start again with more experience and maturity.
gl hf keep practicing
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SanguineToss you got that all out of the context  . I meant it was strange because i liked her JUST now, for a month ... and not for two years, i've started liking her recently and that does puzzle me a bit.
Solar, i know that mate. I'm not wallowing me in self-pity... that's not what i'm doing, i'm just sharing this so i can feel better. I don't need/want any advices on how to make it good with girls. I don't need it, and they never apply everywhere simply because people are different.
I didn't want to just sleep with the girl in case that's not understood, i mean really liking her.
Well, thanks guys for replies, all it matters is at least someone red what i wrote So thanks, it does make me feel a tiny.. very tiny better.
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On March 25 2010 06:30 kainzero wrote:
it only hurts because you waited so long.
if you met a girl in 5 minutes and got rejected then it's just whatever.
I don't know. If you can get managed to get rejected in the course of 5 minutes from first contact, you must have mad skills. I'd say that's heartily more noteworthy than a generic "whatever." I'd even daresay it would be epic.
On March 25 2010 06:54 Pika Chu wrote:SanguineToss you got that all out of the context . I meant it was strange because i liked her JUST now, for a month ... and not for two years, i've started liking her recently and that does puzzle me a bit. Solar, i know that mate. I'm not wallowing me in self-pity... that's not what i'm doing, i'm just sharing this so i can feel better. I don't need/want any advices on how to make it good with girls. I don't need it, and they never apply everywhere simply because people are different. I didn't want to just sleep with the girl in case that's not understood, i mean really liking her. Well, thanks guys for replies, all it matters is at least someone red what i wrote So thanks, it does make me feel a tiny.. very tiny better.
Now that you're on the path to recovery, one speedy way a friend of mine discovered to accelerate the process is to dedicate the fruits of your labor and love into making a 100% authentic-looking pikachu costume. I figured it would be a particularly poignant experience considering you're name are such a cutie.
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love is awesome man. there is a distinction between attraction and love though. when you are attracted to a girl, 90% of the time its because society told you to be attracted to her (looks, money, whatever).
love is an attraction to the energetic qualities a person possesses, and its almost impossible to have that without it being a mutual thing. i can sort of tell you are a romantic type, and probably a nice guy. these are great qualities to have, and when you find someone right for you, and are open to receiving that person, it will be magical.
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It sounds a lot like my personal experience. I didn't wait that long though; it was only 3-4 months. It hurts, and it probably always will. Oh, and screw the signs... they are totally unreliable. It's like playing a PvZ with the Z having a randomized building cost each game, and all the timings are different.
The transition from being "close friend" to being "boyfriend" is something that I don't understand. Some are totally against it, while others think it's good.
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United States22883 Posts
Problems: You took too long. Depending on the relationship, it's possible. Clearly this wasn't one of those.
You made it too serious. Very few people want to be overwhelmed like that, even if you feel that way.
Anyways, one way to look at it is it's better to be 0/2 than 0/1.
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Every time someone you care about rejects you it hurts,
be afraid of the day a rejection doesn't hurt
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On March 25 2010 06:54 Pika Chu wrote:SanguineToss you got that all out of the context . I meant it was strange because i liked her JUST now, for a month ... and not for two years, i've started liking her recently and that does puzzle me a bit.
It's not uncommon to start liking someone once you get to know him/her better. It's partly due to the mere exposure effect (in a nutshell, more exposure --> more liking) and probably also in part due to unique circumstances. Also you may have subconsciously liked her for a while without consciously realizing it.
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She just said no once? Stop being a pussy and don't sweat it, it just means "not yet." Give her some time and space. Don't limit yourself to her either. Whatever happens, happens. Do what you do and whatever happens its all right, its cool. Don't put too much meaning onto any one encounter. Let yourself feel how ridiculous and crazy and awesome everything is.
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shit sucks man =(
best way i think is if you meet a girl and you're interested, then just go for it. easier to go from getting rejected to being friends, than to go from being friends to rejected and then AWKWARD.
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So did anyone figured the importance of this for me?
I broke me 1337 POSTS because of this damn thing. So it's quite important... DAMN MY 1337 POST COUNT, ah crap it's gone.. stupid women destroy it .
Again thanks for reading, you've no clue that it actually makes me feel better to see some comments here.
Reincremate. I know that mate, it was more of a pissed rethoric question .
Yes Horiz0n it is so.
Jibba.. it all went so fast, actually slow but still fast? Wtf, paradox.
nosliw Yep, though i'm not afraid of the transition, i've done it in the past. I really hate it when things go out of my control
mechanix I don't think this was really love, but would've eventually led to it yes.
love1another Got a guide on how to make a bloody pika chu costume?
I just wrote her a huge, like HUGE e-mail. Probably has like 10 pages of thoughts that i wanted to share with her but didn't get to. I wrote it more for myself. Just wanted to get my thoughts on paper. It's all the naked truth about my feelings and how everything evolved inside. It's about my weaknesses and hers, about her good parts and bad parts.
What do you guys say, should i send it to her or should i not?
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On March 25 2010 07:55 pyrogenetix wrote:
shit sucks man =(
best way i think is if you meet a girl and you're interested, then just go for it. easier to go from getting rejected to being friends, than to go from being friends to rejected and then AWKWARD.
Yeah mate, you're totally right.
But given my case... we were colleagues and friends for 2 damn years. And i simply DIDN'T like her (like a woman like a partner) until now, so avoiding that was impossible in my case.
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10 pages?! She will probably freak out >.< Wait a bit until things calm down, and then you can decide whether to send or not
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On March 25 2010 07:59 Pika Chu wrote:
I just wrote her a huge, like HUGE e-mail. Probably has like 10 pages of thoughts that i wanted to share with her but didn't get to. I wrote it more for myself. Just wanted to get my thoughts on paper. It's all the naked truth about my feelings and how everything evolved inside. It's about my weaknesses and hers, about her good parts and bad parts.
What do you guys say, should i send it to her or should i not?
Dude are you serious? Have you actually thought about some of the advice I've mentioned?
Go ahead, send it. Then you can wonder why she wants nothing to do to you.
You need to start from scratch and actually learn about what women want...
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Valhalla18444 Posts
why did you feel it necessary to basically deliver this girl an ultimatum
'i love u and want to be with u forever' is basically what you said
why couldn't you start with 'hey would you like to have dinner with me sometime'?
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I have obviously red it Solar and i appreciate it.
Let's clarify something, It's all done. I don't expect anything more from this, i want to move on. I asked her, she answered, it's all done. Time won't turn back.
But please don't give me the usual crap about what women want because you red C&F and deangello and other dating experts. Because i have too and i've been to seminars and i've studied women psychology. And i eventually decided to drop it all and act natural. Which sometimes coincides with what they say, and sometimes like now simply is something different .
Good idea nosliw. I will wait until tomorrow before i decide.
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Well Steve, she's a bit anxious and it's hard to get her to come on a date. She always says YEEEES then 2h before she calls and gives some random excuse.
So i had to chose between investing a shitload of time, and waiting after her ass or simply going all-in like that and finishing it, one way or another. I chose the second, sure it will hurt me for a while but i still think it's better this way.
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On March 25 2010 08:21 Pika Chu wrote:I have obviously red it Solar and i appreciate it. Let's clarify something, It's all done. I don't expect anything more from this, i want to move on. I asked her, she answered, it's all done. Time won't turn back. But please don't give me the usual crap about what women want because you red C&F and deangello and other dating experts. Because i have too and i've been to seminars and i've studied women psychology. And i eventually decided to drop it all and act natural. Which sometimes coincides with what they say, and sometimes like now simply is something different . Good idea nosliw. I will wait until tomorrow before i decide. It's COMMON SENSE not some stuff you or I've read in a book. It doesn't matter what you eventually want from a woman, simple sex or something serious like a long lasting relationship - neither want a guy who acts like a snivelling little trick and writes blogs on a gaming website titled "Will it always hurt?"
Are you kidding me?
Also, I have the same question as FakeSteve.
On March 25 2010 08:19 FakeSteve[TPR] wrote:
why did you feel it necessary to basically deliver this girl an ultimatum
'i love u and want to be with u forever' is basically what you said
why couldn't you start with 'hey would you like to have dinner with me sometime'?
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Valhalla18444 Posts
On March 25 2010 08:24 Pika Chu wrote:
Well Steve, she's a bit anxious and it's hard to get her to come on a date. She always says YEEEES then 2h before she calls and gives some random excuse.
a more clever man would have taken the hint and then not put her in that position
i don't mean to hate on you or anything but you need to be able to control your emotions to the point where you don't act so selfishly
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It's obviously not common sense.
Snivelling little trick? You lost me here. About the blog? What's the matter with it, i wrote after anyhow. And it's not like she knows or will ever find out.
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I don't mind criticism, i welcome it.
I tried a couple of times over 2-3 weeks to get her out on a date. She always made up an excuse. So i did got a bit fed with it. And you're right, I've been overwhelmed by my emotions. It's not about being selfish, it's about taking a stand.
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The fact is that YOU did it, it doesn't matter whether or not she'll find out. Like I said in the initial post, you have completely the wrong mindset and you're wallowing in self-pity.
If the email is for yourself why are you sending it to her? She already knows you tried, and she's clearly responded with a NO. There's absolutely no way you can convince her otherwise.
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Valhalla18444 Posts
On March 25 2010 08:49 Pika Chu wrote:
I don't mind criticism, i welcome it.
I tried a couple of times over 2-3 weeks to get her out on a date. She always made up an excuse. So i did got a bit fed with it. And you're right, I've been overwhelmed by my emotions. It's not about being selfish, it's about taking a stand.
the fact that you find it necessary to 'take a stand', as you put it, and put this girl in a tremendously awkward position because you can't stand the personal emotional turmoil is incredibly selfish. the fact that you don't realize this, nor are you willing to take ownership of the situation, compounds it
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get drunk and go hunt for some bitches.. stop putting girls on such high esteem if she said no she will live a shitty life cause she isnt with you-
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Ok, maybe you're both right. What's done is done. Solar I'm not trying to convince her, just to clear some things i didn't get to say. Clear them for me... as well as for her.
And it's just done and show must go on . Oh and I'm surprised no one asked for pictures of her lol, i was expecting "pics or it didn't happen, or pics please" posts .
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On March 25 2010 07:59 Pika Chu wrote:I just wrote her a huge, like HUGE e-mail. Probably has like 10 pages of thoughts that i wanted to share with her but didn't get to. I wrote it more for myself. Just wanted to get my thoughts on paper. It's all the naked truth about my feelings and how everything evolved inside. It's about my weaknesses and hers, about her good parts and bad parts.
What do you guys say, should i send it to her or should i not?
I strongly advise against sending her that. Even though your intentions are good it could potentially screw up your friendship completely. Of course, I don't know her, but at least wait a couple of days and see if you still think sending it is a good idea then.
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holy shit do NOT send that unless you never want to talk to her again. actually even then don't send it
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On March 25 2010 09:10 Kyuukyuu wrote:
holy shit do NOT send that unless you never want to talk to her again. actually even then don't send it
If I could invent a device that prevented me from smsing, phoning or sending emails in the heat of emotion/while drunk, my life would probably be tremendously easier
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On March 25 2010 09:06 Pika Chu wrote:
Clear them for me... as well as for her.
Whatever it is that's making you write " ....as well as for her", that's what you need to get rid of.
Trust me, she doesn't need things cleared up for her and you are only jeopardizing things further by sending her that email.
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On March 25 2010 08:19 FakeSteve[TPR] wrote:
why did you feel it necessary to basically deliver this girl an ultimatum
'i love u and want to be with u forever' is basically what you said
why couldn't you start with 'hey would you like to have dinner with me sometime'?
Best advice in the thread.
Ignore everyone else. There is nothing more scary then saying BE WITH SO WE CAN BE TOGETHER FOREVER AND NEVER EXPLORE OTHER OPTIONS
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On March 25 2010 06:32 zealing wrote:going all-in is meant to "overwhelm" your opponent in a risky attack that can fail if not controlled properly, it sounds like you should have just opened with a 12 hatch and slowly and steadily transitioned into a 3hatch muta instead of going for a quick 2hatch hydra rush. o well gg no re it seams for you. but don't worry there are plenty of other players out there just play safe and don't rush it. and sure it will hurt, its suppose to hurt, you don't cheer when your 4pool fails you become but you gg QQ and start again with more experience and maturity. gl hf keep practicing
this. play it standard man... doing it like that is just like "hey, i don't know how to advance girls if my goal is relationship/whatever, but anyway, let me reproduce this awkward speech about my feelings i rehearsed at home..."
its like 1hatch hydra ZvP every game -> if theyre worth something, it will most likely not work 
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^
I was under the assumption that the op and the girl was already at the stage of "let's have dinner and hang out" or other date-like activities w/o actually being on an official date.
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Zealing's post using Starcraft analogies really is brilliant. I didn't realize it until now.
In addition to the other advice I've given, I forgot to mention someting key. It's over with this girl. You HAVE to find someone different.
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Yeah it hurts.
For a while.
Then you start working out, meet hotter girls and become awesome.
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Girls have produced nothing but happiness in my life
Right up until they tear your fucking heart out and then dangle it in front of your face.
I don't think I'll be dating for a while.
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STOP BEING A SUCH A GOD DAMN PUSSY.
Game lots of girls, it will hurt less and less.
Why do guys get attached to girls that they haven't even slept with?
THIS is typical needy guy bullshit, man the fuck up.
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On March 25 2010 09:06 hifriend wrote:Show nested quote +On March 25 2010 07:59 Pika Chu wrote:I just wrote her a huge, like HUGE e-mail. Probably has like 10 pages of thoughts that i wanted to share with her but didn't get to. I wrote it more for myself. Just wanted to get my thoughts on paper. It's all the naked truth about my feelings and how everything evolved inside. It's about my weaknesses and hers, about her good parts and bad parts.
What do you guys say, should i send it to her or should i not?
I strongly advise against sending her that. Even though your intentions are good it could potentially screw up your friendship completely. Of course, I don't know her, but at least wait a couple of days and see if you still think sending it is a good idea then.
I had a friend who was recently asked by some guy, and she rejected him. He responded in the same way... Bad things happened. Don't do it, seriously. I know exactly what you mean, and why you want to, but still, don't do it.
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Hmmm. I did this once. It was inadvisable. Don't send 10 page emo-shit. Keep it to yourself.
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God, I swear I was never this big of a loser back when I bled my heart to girls.
You poured your heart onto a girl who probably didn't even notice you liked her at all.
You expressed your love to someone who considers you a colleague. No wonder she freaked out, if some loser comes up to me and tells me he loves me out of fucking nowhere.
Cut the emo shit.
Typical pussy on the pedestal syndrome.
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TOO QUICK!! u know her 2 years but really know her 2 weeks!
gotta be slower.
I made my mistake once, too quick, too quick to gobble up all the feelings, it's too much too soon and women too weak to take it.
just sit back and be patient
good luck.
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On March 25 2010 09:27 Comeh wrote:Show nested quote +On March 25 2010 08:19 FakeSteve[TPR] wrote:
why did you feel it necessary to basically deliver this girl an ultimatum
'i love u and want to be with u forever' is basically what you said
why couldn't you start with 'hey would you like to have dinner with me sometime'? Best advice in the thread. Ignore everyone else. There is nothing more scary then saying BE WITH SO WE CAN BE TOGETHER FOREVER AND NEVER EXPLORE OTHER OPTIONS
echo !!
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On March 25 2010 10:18 Archaic wrote:Show nested quote +On March 25 2010 09:06 hifriend wrote:On March 25 2010 07:59 Pika Chu wrote:I just wrote her a huge, like HUGE e-mail. Probably has like 10 pages of thoughts that i wanted to share with her but didn't get to. I wrote it more for myself. Just wanted to get my thoughts on paper. It's all the naked truth about my feelings and how everything evolved inside. It's about my weaknesses and hers, about her good parts and bad parts.
What do you guys say, should i send it to her or should i not?
I strongly advise against sending her that. Even though your intentions are good it could potentially screw up your friendship completely. Of course, I don't know her, but at least wait a couple of days and see if you still think sending it is a good idea then. I had a friend who was recently asked by some guy, and she rejected him. He responded in the same way... Bad things happened. Don't do it, seriously. I know exactly what you mean, and why you want to, but still, don't do it.
I would'nt mind doing it, it's over anyways and it really lets the bad airs off your chest once you write that huge email.
Who cares what she thinks (well that's one way to look at it) and just dump it on her face and try to think something positive. It's only fair :p
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You really just pushed far too much on the girl at once. Although you may have admired a girl for a long time, if you haven't shown it and the girl never knew that you liked her or how much you liked her and you suddenly throw everything that had been brewing inside you at once, it will be scalding hot for her. You basically thought too much about it on your own and you scared her off with the sudden explosion that you let out.
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It only hurts the first time
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Even if you're seeing signs, and EVEN if the girl has something going for you, I personally think it's never safe to spill it all out on a single occasion. It's like drawing a two-pair on the flop and going all-in without knowing your opponent has a open-ended straight or a flush draw... k bad analogy, but you get the point.
I think it would have worked out better if you threw signs yourself, little by little. Yeah a casual dinner date, movies, sports, or anything you two like in common - these would have been nice, and as long as you keep your emotional cool it doesn't have to be so obvious. You could have thrown an occasional "you look fabulous today" or "I like your new haircut" you know, stuff like that! Then from there you can naturally build up... well that's the approach I take with the girl(s) that I really like. If I don't give a damn, I'd just play along whatever happens.
At the situation now, I think it's important to re-establish the friendship first, and take it a step at a time. Although the girl said no, that's probably because you threw too much at her, at once. Apologize for putting her on the spot so suddenly, start over, and take it a step at a time.
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Don't listen to anyone who tells you to try again.
Stay as far away from this girl as possible. Improve yourself, talk to many women. Get many girls' numbers. Date many girls. Don't obsess over one girl. You are acting like the biggest creep in the world. Pouring your heart to any woman you haven't been in a relationship for a long time at least is a BIG NO-NO. You will look like a pussy, desperate and turn her the fuck off.
Don't ever have one girl your trying to get with. Have OPTIONS. Pretend like you are the catch, and not some desperate loser.
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MrHoon
10183 Posts
Is it so hard to just get dinner with a girl, then talk a few times over the phone, get to know each other more and then ask her out?
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On March 25 2010 06:09 Pika Chu wrote:
I hate blogs, i never thought I'll make one, here or anywhere. I simply need to write this, since i don't feel like talking with anyone known.
So i just got a NO from a girl i really liked. It's strange, we are colleagues and were so at this master for almost 2 years now. I've always found her interesting and a nice company. I started really liking her a couple of weeks ago. It's maybe because I've found her "human nature" her sensitivity at that point. She simply opened up on me and i tend to like sensitive persons, people who can let me read them, people that are alive, that are human. Hard to explain this properly but it doesn't matter.
So i tried to tell her my feelings, just being direct and sincere. Today i finally had that occasion. I told her, went directly all-in since i liked her... in a profound way, almost getting in love with her. She looked at me amazed while i continued with my speech. She was "oh my god..." and after i told her what i wanted (which is never enough, i would've need 2 days to say everything) i asked her to be sincere about me and tell me if she's interested or not, and she finally told me she's not interested.
I was expecting this, even though she gave me a lot of "interest" signs. Didn't think it will hurt this much, i prepared myself for it... but no matter it still hurts.
I've been in this situation many times. I'm used to it, i don't want any "time will heal, it will pass, etc". And even after happening for so many times, it still hurts.
I would expect everytime this happens you get less sensitive on it and finally you will be immune to it. It will simply not hurt any longer.
So what do you guys think? Will stuff like these always hurt no matter how many you experience and suffer for?
Your approach was wrong. The ladder theory applies well here (even though it's largely untrue). You were on the friends ladder, and tried to jump to the attracted ladder (or whatever it's called, the having sex ladder), and you missed, because that's what happens. The friend zone is a very real thing, and you just didn't realize that you were in it. If you don't make sexual interest clear early on, then there will likely never be sexual interest (and there has to be sexual interest for a relationship... not just I wanna fuck you, but I find you very attractive and would like to get to know you on a much deeper and more personal level, eventually leading to sex).
The reason it hurts is because you think she rejected YOU, when she didn't. She just rejected your approach to her. I don't know if that makes sense to you or not, but that's what happened.
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Anyone would be freaked out if a person they never dated professed their deep love for them out of the blue. Honestly - if that happened to you with a random chick you never thought of "that way" you'd be like WTF - this chick's crazy. You came on waaay to strong. To top it all off, you followed up with an embarrassing and over-the-top letter.
Remember, she wanted to feel like she wasn't pressured and that she had a chance to date a quality man, ie - one with other options/interests/a life that does not revolve around her, particularly in a creepy-stalker-ish way.
So yeah... now there is nothing you can do, you need to drop it and consider it a (painful) learning experience. Next time relax a bit and don't take things that seriously, not until you've dated her for quite a bit.
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On March 25 2010 07:59 Pika Chu wrote:So did anyone figured the importance of this for me? I broke me 1337 POSTS because of this damn thing. So it's quite important... DAMN MY 1337 POST COUNT, ah crap it's gone.. stupid women destroy it . Again thanks for reading, you've no clue that it actually makes me feel better to see some comments here. Reincremate. I know that mate, it was more of a pissed rethoric question . Yes Horiz0n it is so. Jibba.. it all went so fast, actually slow but still fast? Wtf, paradox. nosliw Yep, though i'm not afraid of the transition, i've done it in the past. I really hate it when things go out of my control mechanix I don't think this was really love, but would've eventually led to it yes. love1another Got a guide on how to make a bloody pika chu costume? I just wrote her a huge, like HUGE e-mail. Probably has like 10 pages of thoughts that i wanted to share with her but didn't get to. I wrote it more for myself. Just wanted to get my thoughts on paper. It's all the naked truth about my feelings and how everything evolved inside. It's about my weaknesses and hers, about her good parts and bad parts. What do you guys say, should i send it to her or should i not?
ROFL YES! This is a SURE-FIRE tactic to win her heart over.
Dude, as lame as MM kids are, you should read the Mystery Method, or at least The Game. You don't have to be a fag that goes out sarging just to get laid (because a real man knows it's quality, not quantity), but you would at least have a better grasp of wtf to do with women.
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Rev0lution, you must try hard alot to not look like a pussy.
I mean, every single piece advice that you gave this man seemed to revolve around that single concept; atleast give good advice seriously and stop trying to look like some Albanian baller.
I'd rather look like a pussy than a dumbass.
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On March 25 2010 08:24 Pika Chu wrote:
Well Steve, she's a bit anxious and it's hard to get her to come on a date. She always says YEEEES then 2h before she calls and gives some random excuse.
So i had to chose between investing a shitload of time, and waiting after her ass or simply going all-in like that and finishing it, one way or another. I chose the second, sure it will hurt me for a while but i still think it's better this way.
She did that because she wasn't interested. Girls that flake that often are not interested... most guys get that idea.
On March 25 2010 08:40 Pika Chu wrote:
It's obviously not common sense.
Snivelling little trick? You lost me here. About the blog? What's the matter with it, i wrote after anyhow. And it's not like she knows or will ever find out.
A trick is American slang. Hard to describe. Urbandictionary it.
On March 25 2010 10:31 evanthebouncy! wrote:TOO QUICK!! u know her 2 years but really know her 2 weeks! gotta be slower. I made my mistake once, too quick, too quick to gobble up all the feelings, it's too much too soon and women too weak to take it. just sit back and be patient good luck.
Not too quick. NEVER FUCKING THERE. She opened up to him as a close friend, not as a lover. That should have been painfully obvious. If you aren't in an already established relationship with a girl and she starts opening up and getting all emotional, it's because she feels safe around you. It's because she doesn't think you want to get into her pants. It's because she thinks you think of her exactly what she thinks of you: FRIENDS.
GAH, how do guys not get this? (Not to anyone in particular) Then these nice guys come back with some bullshit lines about how the girl is an icy bitch, and that eventually they will find some girl, and the same bullshit keeps happening over and over while they use the same tactics and never get anything (and I don't just mean sex). Then they sit around and whine about how no one likes/loves them and all these guys have all these girls, and they don't know how they do it, and they wish they could be them... but when one of those guys takes the time out of his day because he was there before, and he legitimately wants to help (like a few guys in this blog already), they tell them that THEY ARE WRONG! They say that they were in the right when they were so obviously in the wrong! It's unbelievable.
On March 25 2010 12:32 RunningThrough wrote:
Rev0lution, you must try hard alot to not look like a pussy.
I mean, every single piece advice that you gave this man seemed to revolve around that single concept; atleast give good advice seriously and stop trying to look like some Albanian baller.
I'd rather look like a pussy than a dumbass.
Then you'll never get any pussy. You can run your mouth all you want here about how you do get laid if you want, but no one is going to buy it, because most guys that talk bullshit about all the women they get are fucking liars anyway (the only guy I have seen that consistently pulls women in all the fucking time, and is legitimately in triple digits with FINE women, never admits to the amount of women he sleeps with). I don't get loads of women by any stretch of the imagination, but ffs, at least I'm not a huge tool when it comes to talking to women. At the VERY LEAST, they enjoy my company and find me funny, even if I don't have sex with them (most of the time I don't make things sexual so I don't get any, but whatever this isn't about me). Rev0 is absolutely right. When you disagree, it sounds to me like a bunch of frustrated virgins and chumps are running their mouths about getting women (which, btw, I think it is absolutely fine if someone is a virgin, but they clearly have no room to talk about how to get women. I was a virgin until 2 months before my 21st birthday, and I'm fine with that. Good friends of mine were virgins until they were 25+... doesn't matter).
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On March 25 2010 11:32 OpticalShot wrote:
Even if you're seeing signs, and EVEN if the girl has something going for you, I personally think it's never safe to spill it all out on a single occasion. It's like drawing a two-pair on the flop and going all-in without knowing your opponent has a open-ended straight or a flush draw... k bad analogy, but you get the point.
I think it would have worked out better if you threw signs yourself, little by little. Yeah a casual dinner date, movies, sports, or anything you two like in common - these would have been nice, and as long as you keep your emotional cool it doesn't have to be so obvious. You could have thrown an occasional "you look fabulous today" or "I like your new haircut" you know, stuff like that! Then from there you can naturally build up... well that's the approach I take with the girl(s) that I really like. If I don't give a damn, I'd just play along whatever happens.
At the situation now, I think it's important to re-establish the friendship first, and take it a step at a time. Although the girl said no, that's probably because you threw too much at her, at once. Apologize for putting her on the spot so suddenly, start over, and take it a step at a time.
Don't apologize too early, if at all. Most likely, you've completely destroyed the relationship you've built with her, at least for the time being. If you want to be friendly with her again, it's going to take a very long time. I did the same thing once when I was a lot younger (about 16). I poured my heart out to a girl and she freaked out. Today, we're pretty good friends, and we actually talk about just about anything (she's actually one of the people I go to when I need someone to be real with me about a situation), but that didn't start happening until about four years later (being that close, the friendship picked back up sometime about a year later).
As far as you're concerned, it never happened. Tomorrow, you'll go into work and talk about how lovely/crappy the weather is, and see what's on the plate for the day. If things get too heavily awkward say something like "look, I know there is a bit of tension due to what I said the other day, but if we're going to continue to work together we're going to have to move on." Then if she starts to talk about it say something like "I understand that you would want to discuss this, and I'm fine with that, but I really don't think now is the time or place to do that... let's talk about this on the phone after work" or something similar.
In all honesty, what you did is a pretty major fuck up in my book.
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Then you'll never get any pussy. You can run your mouth all you want here about how you do get laid if you want, but no one is going to buy it, because most guys that talk bullshit about all the women they get are fucking liars anyway (the only guy I have seen that consistently pulls women in all the fucking time, and is legitimately in triple digits with FINE women, never admits to the amount of women he sleeps with). I don't get loads of women by any stretch of the imagination, but ffs, at least I'm not a huge tool when it comes to talking to women. At the VERY LEAST, they enjoy my company and find me funny, even if I don't have sex with them (most of the time I don't make things sexual so I don't get any, but whatever this isn't about me). Rev0 is absolutely right. When you disagree, it sounds to me like a bunch of frustrated virgins and chumps are running their mouths about getting women (which, btw, I think it is absolutely fine if someone is a virgin, but they clearly have no room to talk about how to get women. I was a virgin until 2 months before my 21st birthday, and I'm fine with that. Good friends of mine were virgins until they were 25+... doesn't matter).]
You do realize that your post there is completely null because not only was I criticizing Rev0lution for doing what you just said that "virgins tend to do." Or whichever, but he was also in fact, doing what you just said, but I also gave no advice on how to get woman whatsoever. If you are saying to sleep alot of woman, then you aren't giving advice on how to get them are you? You're just saying to get them. Period.
Plus you don't even know anything about me, I'm a random faceless guy with about 2 posts on TL.net over the internet. Stop being presumptuous, there's alot of paths to getting stuff done but I don't believe Rev0lution's advice is right, especially when Pika Chu isn't looking to sleep with tons of woman anyways.
It's kind of funny that you have opinions because people like you shouldn't be allowed to have them.
Edit: We also may have just interpreted eachother's posts wrong, like I said, I was critisizing Rev0lution for telling Pika Chu to stop looking like a pussy and to sleep with tons of woman, and then somehow you just.. Thought I wrote that or something? I don't know, your entire post to me has to relevance to myself.
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On March 25 2010 12:53 RunningThrough wrote:Show nested quote +
Then you'll never get any pussy. You can run your mouth all you want here about how you do get laid if you want, but no one is going to buy it, because most guys that talk bullshit about all the women they get are fucking liars anyway (the only guy I have seen that consistently pulls women in all the fucking time, and is legitimately in triple digits with FINE women, never admits to the amount of women he sleeps with). I don't get loads of women by any stretch of the imagination, but ffs, at least I'm not a huge tool when it comes to talking to women. At the VERY LEAST, they enjoy my company and find me funny, even if I don't have sex with them (most of the time I don't make things sexual so I don't get any, but whatever this isn't about me). Rev0 is absolutely right. When you disagree, it sounds to me like a bunch of frustrated virgins and chumps are running their mouths about getting women (which, btw, I think it is absolutely fine if someone is a virgin, but they clearly have no room to talk about how to get women. I was a virgin until 2 months before my 21st birthday, and I'm fine with that. Good friends of mine were virgins until they were 25+... doesn't matter).]
You do realize that your post there is completely null because not only was I criticizing Rev0lution for doing what you just said that "virgins tend to do." Or whichever, but he was also in fact, doing what you just said, but I also gave no advice on how to get woman whatsoever. If you are saying to sleep alot of woman, then you aren't giving advice on how to get them are you? You're just saying to get them. Period. Plus you don't even know anything about me, I'm a random faceless guy with about 2 posts on TL.net over the internet. Stop being presumptuous, there's alot of paths to getting stuff done but I don't believe Rev0lution's advice is right, especially when Pika Chu isn't looking to sleep with tons of woman anyways. It's kind of funny that you have opinions because people like you shouldn't be allowed to have them.
No, he said to have options. You need to have options. Pouring your soul into one girl is a fool's game. That's what I was focusing on, and I assumed that's what you were focusing on. Judging by Rev0's mindset, he likely has approaches that are similar to those I know to be successful with women (which is to not treat them like they're something to be sought after, and to turn the game around and make them think that YOU are the catch... which, oddly enough, is exactly what he said, he just didn't go into great detail on it). Virgins tend to pour their heart and soul out to a girl because they don't know any better. They've never seen what actually works (as evidenced by the fact that they're virgins).
Yes, there are many ways to approach dating life (or game, whatever you want to call it), and be successful at it... but having one-itis (i.e. intense feelings for a girl you'll never get) is a fool's game. Pouring your heart and soul into a girl you're not already in an established relationship is more of the same. She has to EARN that from you. Guys that give it away freely are chumps, and get walked on all the time. I see it happen all the time. It used to happen to me all the time. I may not have sex every night, or even every week, but at least I don't get walked all over by some bitch that's gives it up to other guys that don't do shit for her, while I break my back trying to please her. Fuck that. Guys that are successful with women understand this. And by successful, yes, I mean they have sex with women. I also mean that they have close female friends that they don't have sex with, that they have relationships that can last long periods of time... I mean that they have women in their lives, in general. Even if you aren't that gaping vag that pours his heart out to all the women he's interested in, you have to know someone who is... take a look at how many women he is friends with, I'm willing to bet it isn't a very high number.
Finally, with your ten post count, you probably should watch how you post. While I may not be TL's most beloved member (and personally couldn't give a fuck about what you say regarding me because your opinion about me means nothing, for the same reason that my opinion about you means nothing to you), TL admins are generally not too kind to people who flame veteran members... that's just a general tip to help you stay here at TL longer.
To your edit: I think that could be the case, which is why I didn't fly off the handle at you. It looked to me like you were saying it was ok to be a pussy, and pour your hear out to women like the OP did. Which is wrong. Really, the only thing directed at you was the first sentence, because I had interpreted what you said to be that, and you won't get laid doing that...you won't have a healthy relationship doing that... you'll only be lonely as hell doing that (I've been there, I KNOW). I quote people in seemingly random ways, but there's always a connection in my head, which can often be hard to see for other people...
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On March 25 2010 06:09 Pika Chu wrote:
I hate blogs, i never thought I'll make one, here or anywhere. I simply need to write this, since i don't feel like talking with anyone known.
So i just got a NO from a girl i really liked. It's strange, we are colleagues and were so at this master for almost 2 years now. I've always found her interesting and a nice company. I started really liking her a couple of weeks ago. It's maybe because I've found her "human nature" her sensitivity at that point. She simply opened up on me and i tend to like sensitive persons, people who can let me read them, people that are alive, that are human. Hard to explain this properly but it doesn't matter.
So i tried to tell her my feelings, just being direct and sincere. Today i finally had that occasion. I told her, went directly all-in since i liked her... in a profound way, almost getting in love with her. She looked at me amazed while i continued with my speech. She was "oh my god..." and after i told her what i wanted (which is never enough, i would've need 2 days to say everything) i asked her to be sincere about me and tell me if she's interested or not, and she finally told me she's not interested.
I was expecting this, even though she gave me a lot of "interest" signs. Didn't think it will hurt this much, i prepared myself for it... but no matter it still hurts.
I've been in this situation many times. I'm used to it, i don't want any "time will heal, it will pass, etc". And even after happening for so many times, it still hurts.
I would expect everytime this happens you get less sensitive on it and finally you will be immune to it. It will simply not hurt any longer.
So what do you guys think? Will stuff like these always hurt no matter how many you experience and suffer for?
Ok so.. Your main issues are in bold..
I would say I'm pretty good with the ladies even tho I'm currently tied down at the moment and 100% faithful.
Issue #1 You've started being into her in the last few weeks...
A few weeks is not enough time to "love" someone. If you did have a chance with this girl, you scared her away by droppin the L bomb before you got a kiss or anything slightly sensual or close and intimate....
NEVER DROP THE L BOMB.
I've been dating my girlfriend for close to three months now, and I'm just starting to get the point where I feel like I may love her. Three weeks really isn't even enough time to know if you "like" someone. Like, Lust, and Love are 3 completly different things.
Issue#2 Its an issue that your wondering why she was amazed
If my girlfriend would have told me she loved me a month or two into our relationship, I would have pulled the reins and probably left her. Thats too much commitment in a little amount of time. Not enough time has passed for you to really get to know this girl. When you do things like this, showing wayyyy too much emotion for the amount of time thats passed, it makes you seem needy and dependent.
I am guessing you really dont have that much experience with women?
Issue #3Sometimes women show interest for your benefit and/or they like the attention without wanting more.
Don't be insulted by this please I dont mean to be. But sometimes when guys arn't the best looking or when women can tell the guy is a total nerd and totally hopeless with women in general, they will flirt, but not to get your hopes up for getting them. More to help YOU become more confident with women.
My gf has this nerdy fat dude friend she works with that she flirts with and he flirts with her, and I could care less.. This guy is a total "dweeb" overweight, always says really wierd comments, totally not a socially accepted person. We've talked about it and she told me she does it to help him out. He's even told her he liked her which I thought was hilarious. But she put things on the table for him and explained hes not her type blah blah blah... But she did it to help build his confidence with women. Apparently hes hitting on another co-worker too (once again lol, if you guys only knew) but if she hadn't flirted with him a bit, maybe he never would of had the confidence to talk to this other chick u know?
Bottom line, sometimes a girl will flirt back or act interested for your benefit, either they dont want to shoot you down so they just go along with it, or they're doing it to build you up a bit.
Thats my two sence, I hope you don't take any of it the wrong way. But I can tell just by some of the things your saying, you dont have the best luck with women. Try and take this advice without being upset, but you cant get so attached to quickly.
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To your edit: I think that could be the case, which is why I didn't fly off the handle at you. It looked to me like you were saying it was ok to be a pussy, and pour your hear out to women like the OP did. Which is wrong. Really, the only thing directed at you was the first sentence, because I had interpreted what you said to be that, and you won't get laid doing that...you won't have a healthy relationship doing that... you'll only be lonely as hell doing that (I've been there, I KNOW). I quote people in seemingly random ways, but there's always a connection in my head, which can often be hard to see for other people...
Well now that you clarified I see that it was a misunderstanding. So naturally, I'm sorry.
And concerning veteran members and the staff, I understand that and it's logical. But I'm just myself and normally don't act any other way; but on the other hand I'm not a jerk without a reason etc. Just some insight.
Unfortunately the reason for me being a douche this time was just a misunderstanding. So again, I'm sorry.
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On March 25 2010 12:28 SweeTLemonS[TPR] wrote:
Dude, as lame as MM kids are, you should read the Mystery Method, or at least The Game.
..!?
NO
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
Women = SC. If you read a book about you aren't suddenly genius at sc. You improve little by little game after game. Learn from your mistakes, refine it little by little. If you're bad at something, you do it over and over until you're good at it. You take specific advice from the pros and do what works for you. There is no guide where if you read it you'll be like "ohhh" and suddenly start winning every game you play. You don't take a guide so seriously that you're worried if you are doing it and not even having fun playing SC. There are no rules to limit what you can do inside the game, you try to throw everything you can at the opponent to win. There are NO rules you don't make for yourself. You will not win every game. If you lose a game, it is not your opponents fault, it is your fault. Identify it, fix it, and do it. You might not even win most games at first. Eventually, you will play a game that matters. Every game you have played before that one has just been practice so you can win when you really need it. Don't stop playing. It might not be fun at times, but don't stop playing. If you stop having fun take a step back and reevaluate what your goal is and whether its realistic or not, but don't stop playing. gl hf brother
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On March 25 2010 12:32 RunningThrough wrote:
Rev0lution, you must try hard alot to not look like a pussy.
I mean, every single piece advice that you gave this man seemed to revolve around that single concept; atleast give good advice seriously and stop trying to look like some Albanian baller.
I'd rather look like a pussy than a dumbass.
haha dude his advice good and straight from the heart
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On March 25 2010 12:32 RunningThrough wrote:
Rev0lution, you must try hard alot to not look like a pussy.
I mean, every single piece advice that you gave this man seemed to revolve around that single concept; atleast give good advice seriously and stop trying to look like some Albanian baller.
I'd rather look like a pussy than a dumbass.
oh my fucking god lol made me irl
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It can't be helped.
Get over it already
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On March 25 2010 13:38 KurtistheTurtle wrote:Show nested quote +On March 25 2010 12:28 SweeTLemonS[TPR] wrote:
Dude, as lame as MM kids are, you should read the Mystery Method, or at least The Game.
..!? NONO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOWomen = SC. If you read a book about you aren't suddenly genius at sc. You improve little by little game after game. Learn from your mistakes, refine it little by little. If you're bad at something, you do it over and over until you're good at it. You take specific advice from the pros and do what works for you. There is no guide where if you read it you'll be like "ohhh" and suddenly start winning every game you play. You don't take a guide so seriously that you're worried if you are doing it and not even having fun playing SC. There are no rules to limit what you can do inside the game, you try to throw everything you can at the opponent to win. There are NO rules you don't make for yourself. You will not win every game. If you lose a game, it is not your opponents fault, it is your fault. Identify it, fix it, and do it. You might not even win most games at first. Eventually, you will play a game that matters. Every game you have played before that one has just been practice so you can win when you really need it. Don't stop playing. It might not be fun at times, but don't stop playing. If you stop having fun take a step back and reevaluate what your goal is and whether its realistic or not, but don't stop playing. gl hf brother
Dude, holy shit, quote the whole thing: as lame as MM kids are, you should read the Mystery Method, or at least The Game. You don't have to be a fag that goes out sarging just to get laid (because a real man knows it's quality, not quantity), but you would at least have a better grasp of wtf to do with women. (The main point in the post, in my mind, was that.)
When you're starting from the completely fucking hopeless, I love every woman who shows the slightest bit of affection towards me, you need to at least get some kind of understanding on women. He's clearly not listening to the advice here (which is pretty much verbatim out of those books by a lot of people). I even said not to use MM and sarge like a fag, and you tell him no and go on to post like I said "Learn and master MM." What those books do for you is make you go "OH! I see WHY I was wrong. Women aren't attracted to pansy fucks like I was being, they're attracted to MEN." If you're bad at something, you don't keep doing the SAME thing over and over, you try to change it up and see what works and what doesn't, right? But when you only know how to suck, you need to look somewhere for advice. Which leads you to alt.fast.seduction and the MM and so on.
I mean, I completely agree with what you said, but I hate being quoted out of context like that.
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oh, cool. you're right then. @op: don't follow it like a bible
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Girl threads.
Where everyone on the internet suddenly becomes an expert on women.
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no, sometimes it not hurt
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On March 25 2010 14:05 koreasilver wrote:
Planet Earth
Where everyone in the world suddenly becomes an expert on women.
I see it more along these lines.
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On March 25 2010 10:04 Rev0lution wrote:
STOP BEING A SUCH A GOD DAMN PUSSY.
Game lots of girls, it will hurt less and less.
Why do guys get attached to girls that they haven't even slept with?
THIS is typical needy guy bullshit, man the fuck up.
It's funny, I don't think I've ever met a confident, balanced individual who desperately tries to come across as some sort of badass playboy beast of a man online.
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Dude.
As cliche as it sounds? Realize that you have greater things at work and accomplishments to achieve. Set a goal or two. Something to develop your own character and self.
I learned a lot just saying "I want to be D+ on ICCUP instead of never achieving that and wasting time thinking about girls."
So if you want to do something just do it; don't let anyone stop you.
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Three words I wish I would have taken seriously years ago:
Cut your losses.
She's not gonna change her mind, bro. Plenty of fish in the sea, though no one ever realizes that when they're in the situation themselves. We understand.
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Oh, well. These things will happen, but it is a a shame when you spend so much time with someone and really grow to appreciate the person that they are only to later get shit on.
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Humans are born to suffer.
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What hurts the most is being so close, and having so much to say but watching her walk away.. and never knowing what could have been =p and not seeing that loving her was what you were trying to do
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I'm feeling ok now. Some sleep fixed it.
It's amazing how many people came here to give me their advices even when i specified i don't need any. I only asked a question and all i wanted maybe was people to read and listen to me. Simple as it is i don't need advices, i know what i've done wrong and most of your advices are standard bullcrap to be honest.
I didn't give you much details of this (like making it a whole story and what-not) simply because it's not advices that I was seeking. So you guys pretty much went all-out blaming me and telling me I'm a pussy and what not over ... nothing? I didn't mention the background, didn't mention my previous encounters with her or what i speak with her. And neither do i want to let everyone know about the whole thing.
Just to try and clear a couple of things here that went really overboard:
- lol, this is far from being my first relation or encounter and i do consider i have some decent experience with women
- don't tell me it's over guys, i've said that from the first post... i'm happy i got a clear answer and i'm definitely not trying again, what's done is done.... all i said was that it hurts
- i didn't pour my soul on her neither went needy over her looking like an insecure geek. and it certainly wasn't something like "i love you and want to be with you forever and ever and ever because i'm hanging onto you and praise you and put you on a shiny pedestal". i do know what you guys are talking about but that's simply not the case here
- And some are saying to not worsen my situation? What situation mates, it's all clear. As about friendship we'll remain friends and colleagues don't worry about it. This was simply a very sincere/serious discussion where i clarified something up which she understood.
And i suggest, in any situation to refrain from giving advices unless you know the whole story. You can't do a proper analysis of a situation without knowing it.
So please keep the advices for someone who needs them. I don't and didn't require them.
It's easy to get the girl out of my list, but it's hard to get her out of my soul. The point of this all-in with her, was to know whether i should invest my time in her or should i not. Not asking her to be my lover, but simply requesting to know what to do, if she was interested i would just play the usual game. So i'm happy i chose this way, i'm not going to waste a lot of time for something that won't have a "good end".
So after all these rejects i got it still hurts. And i still wonder if i will ever grow immune to it lol.
Now after being more detached and thinking clearly, i sent that mail to her which contains my thoughts. It's not the kind of e-mail with rants or hate-mail or a try to get her "back". It's simply ideas over it.
I'm going to wait 2 weeks before getting another "target" just so i'm not going to do a stupid emotional transfer.
Will call an ex later today, and see if i can get some sex as that may help.
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On March 25 2010 19:44 Pika Chu wrote:
Will call an ex later today, and see if i can get some sex as that may help.
... Eh?
Pika Chu, you are a complex person. I won't even try to make sense of your personality, since I'm pretty sure I won't like what I'll see.
I feel for your rejection, and I can relate to your "all-in"; I've done something similar in the past. Please get yourself back up to scratch.
Though I do believe that you might wanna try to get together with your ex again.
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Though I do believe that you might wanna try to get together with your ex again.
You're absolutely right. And i am afraid such an emotional transfer, especially now when wounds are open, might go on to my ex. And it's not something i'd want .
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On March 25 2010 10:04 Rev0lution wrote:
STOP BEING A SUCH A GOD DAMN PUSSY.
Game lots of girls, it will hurt less and less.
Why do guys get attached to girls that they haven't even slept with?
THIS is typical needy guy bullshit, man the fuck up.
This so true btw.
It's reaaaally needy to become super attached to girls that you haven't even made out with.
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Jeez. Some pretty rough responses, imo. The guy just got owned on by a girl he must have liked a good amount (I say "good amount" because it was significant enough for you to come post on TL about it).
In my experience, getting rejected is pretty rough. Literally hearing a girl say something along the lines of "no, I don't like you like that," is just hard to hear.
I've been recently thinking of asking a friend-girl out myself, but I'm starting to lean towards no half because it could ruin the friendship and half because getting rejected by *her* would be pretty bad (you'd have to know her).
Good luck in the future dude!
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Alright, maybe I didn't go into detail about girls but I'm glad SweetLemons expanded on it.
I think Pika Chu is a serious case of Below AFC. First of all you need to accept that you DID pour your heart onto a girl. Pouring your heart doesn't mean expressing your love.
It simply means that you expressed your feelings to her. Clearly you are the sensitive type, you describe this girl as if you knew her forever; when in fact you know shit about her.
A 10 page letter is psycho shit, don't send it or she will likely think your a stalker / call the cops.
My only advice:
Don't daydream about girls. This has happened to me back in high school and even early college. It makes you develop feelings that are NOT there.
Having strong feelings over someone you barely know is only allowed on romance movies, in real life we call this OBSESSION.
Daydreaming about girls and fantasizing about marrying them is clearly a sign that you are lacking basic self steem skills and missing a social life.
Work out, get a hobby, study harder, make friends and you will NOT have enough time to daydream about women.
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On March 26 2010 07:14 Always wrote:
Jeez. Some pretty rough responses, imo. The guy just got owned on by a girl he must have liked a good amount (I say "good amount" because it was significant enough for you to come post on TL about it).
In my experience, getting rejected is pretty rough. Literally hearing a girl say something along the lines of "no, I don't like you like that," is just hard to hear.
I've been recently thinking of asking a friend-girl out myself, but I'm starting to lean towards no half because it could ruin the friendship and half because getting rejected by *her* would be pretty bad (you'd have to know her).
Good luck in the future dude!
In the end, these are just words from who knows who.
However, at least you tried Pika Chu. I knew a boy who liked a girl once. They were friends. Thinking back, I'm fairly sure the girl liked the boy "in that way" too. Apparently he grew to love her more and more with each passing day. But he never asked her out, even though the signs were there.
Next thing he knew, she'd left for another city to study Architecture. Then not long after, he heard she was engaged to be married to some other guy and was living in another country.
That's the way it is. You'll meet a lot of girls that you like a lot. In the end, all these things will end, whether it's because you never asked her out, or whether it's because your wife of 70 years dies of a heart attack. Ultimately, we all lose. You just need to work out how to live out your life despite these losses.
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On March 25 2010 08:21 Pika Chu wrote:But please don't give me the usual crap about what women want because you red C&F and deangello and other dating experts. Because i have too and i've been to seminars and i've studied women psychology. And i eventually decided to drop it all and act natural. Which sometimes coincides with what they say, and sometimes like now simply is something different .
Are you serious? I find that hard to believe as if you had just followed his advice I guarantee you she would not have rejected you. In fact, his latest newsletter has a situation very similar to yours:
+ Show Spoiler +Greetings,
I'm considering investing in your program, but I
have a question for you before I do. Essentially,
I'm no longer looking to hook up with women left
and right. In fact, I think I've met "the one,"
but I'm having trouble making her realize this.
I've been pursuing her for about five months
(during part of which time she was away at school,
but we kept in regular contact, at first through
e-mail and, later, over the phone), and I get the
sense that she's very guarded about relationships.
She's *very* goal oriented (which is one of the
many things I love about her, BTW), and therefore
very busy, and - I suspect - she's been burned in
the past, relationship wise. At any rate, on a
couple of occasions, it felt to me as if things
were moving forward, and then she backpedaled;
perhaps she "got spooked," and took a big step
back to protect herself. Most recently, we were
out for the first time since she finished school,
and - insofar as I was able to determine, I was
getting the green light all night: at a movie, I
slipped my arm around her and she leaned in,
resting her head on my shoulder; later, we were at
a club for a band, and when we were ready to
leave, she reached across the table and held my
hand for a while; on the way back to the car, it
was pretty chilly, and when she complained about
the chill, I stepped over and hugged her. She
responded by stepping into it: she pressed her
face hard into my shoulder, and stepped into full
body to body contact - hip to hip, shoulder to
shoulder and everything in between. When we got
back to her place, I moved to kiss her and she
shied away such that it would have been
*extremely* awkward for me to actually do so.
At any rate, we've gotten together since (in fact,
I offered to cook dinner for her, and she somehow
maneuvered it around such that I was *her* guest,
and she cooked for me) and we talked a while. As I
said above, I think she got a little spooked. She
specifically said that she thought the
relationship could've evolved into something
romantic, but that it hasn't, and she wasn't sure
why. At this moment, she says she doesn't believe
it will. We remain *very* close friends, but I
still believe she's the one, and I've told her
that I'm still going to pursue this, and she's
keen on still spending time together (for her, for
now, as close friends).
My question is this: do you believe your program
can aid me in turning her around on this? If so,
why?
Thanks,
B.
+ Show Spoiler +OK, sit down for this. Hold on to something tight, because I'm going to yell at you for your own damn good... YOU ARE TOTALLY MISSING WHAT'S GOING ON! THIS WOMAN ACTUALLY LIKES YOU, AND YOU'RE SCREWING IT ALL UP BY ACTING LIKE A NEEDY WUSS BAG! If you were closer, I'd slap you myself. DUH! Whew. Let me calm myself. As you know, I don't usually get so worked up. That makes three exclamation marks in one email, and I haven't even started lambasting you proper yet. (What is lambasting, anyway? And is that how you spell it? It's such a great word. I really should look and find out.) OK, I'm calm. NOW, let's have a little talk here... The reason why this kind of situation bothers me is at least twofold: 1) Because I've been in it myself about a bazillion and a half times, and it sucks to be screwing something up and not even realize that you're doing it. 2) I can tell from your email that you actually like this girl A LOT, and that she's probably a fantastic woman... and I hate to see you working so hard against yourself... and screwing this up when it's right there in front of you for the taking. Before I tell you all the reasons why you most DEFINITELY should invest in my Advanced Dating Techniques program, let me give you a few pointers that might help you STOP screwing this up in the meantime. OK, back to the basics. Let's take this from the top... At the very beginning of your email, you said something that basically telegraphed EXACTLY what was going on here... You said "...I think I've met "the one," but I'm having trouble making her realize this. I've been pursuing her for about five months..." You're having trouble making her REALIZE this? You've been PURSUING her? Do you assume that at some point within the NEXT five months that she's going to wake up one day and feel a powerful ATTRACTION for you because you like to chase her around and tell her how you feel about her? Normally I'd make fun of you here, and tell you that you don't get it... blah blah blah. But for some reason I feel like I just have to lay things out for you directly. Look, man... the reason why she's telling you that she "doesn't know why it hasn't evolved into something romantic" is that she doesn't FEEL IT. She doesn't FEEL IT. Get it? SHE DOESN'T FEEL IT! She doesn't feel ATTRACTION for you. And you can't CONVINCE her to feel it by chasing her around and telling her how you "feel" about her. Attraction, as I always say, ISN'T A CHOICE. You need to go and get yourself an IN-DEPTH education on the topic of creating ATTRACTION. Go read my new online eBook "Attraction Isn't A Choice". This book will take you "behind the scenes" and show you how to communicate with women in a way that TRIGGERS the attraction... instead of trying to be a "nice guy" and CONVINCE her to feel it for you. You can download it right now, and be reading it within a few minutes. Go download it here: http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/AttractionBook Now, you're acting like most guys who think things like: "If she only knew how I felt about her, she'd feel the same way" and "If I keep pursuing her, she'll eventually see how much I love her" etc. Well guess what? AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN, HOMEY. Right now you are playing what is referred to as a "losing game". Think of it this way. If you stop on the way home from work every day and buy a lottery ticket, you'll win once in awhile. Hell, you might even be lucky one day and win big. But your chances SUCK. You're probably going to lose a LOT more than you win over time. Like I said, you COULD win big. There is a chance. But you probably won't. And I mean probably with a BIG P. I refer to the way that you're acting as "Being a Wussy" (that's the technical term... made it up myself). When you act like a Wussy, you do things like: -Pursue -Cling -Share "feelings" -Act submissive -Seek approval -Pine away This is WUSSY behavior. It's distinctly FEMININE in nature. When guys act like this, they're getting in touch with their inner little girl (and she needs a spanking in the worst way). And are you ready for the WORST, WORST part? When you act like this around a woman (and ESPECIALLY a "goal oriented" woman who's probably smart and powerful like yours) they CANNOT feel the emotion of ATTRACTION towards you. Women aren't attracted to Wussies. This is a UNIVERSAL truth. And by the way that you describe your relationship with this woman, SHE REALLY WANTS TO BE ATTRACTED TO YOU! She's trying, man. And she probably KNOWS that you'd be a great guy to be in a relationship with... but she just doesn't FEEL IT... so she holds back. I'm sure she WISHES that she could be attracted to you. I'll bet you money. Look, you need to STOP acting like a nice friend guy Wuss IMMEDIATELY if you want this to turn into something. You're probably beyond help with this particular woman, but I'm going to give you a few ideas JUST IN CASE... 1) Stop calling her all the time (if you do), and stop spending so much time with her. 2) Start dating other women IMMEDIATELY, and make sure she knows about it. 3) Stop being all lovey with her, and don't tell her how you "feel about her" anymore. Stop it. 4) Accept that you will probably be friends with her forever, and start acting that way. 5) Don't try to kiss her or be physical with her at ALL anymore until you understand what you're doing. Remember, what you're doing ISN'T WORKING. If you do these things that I've described, you will probably have the best chance of turning this around. NOW, the next thing you need to do is what you asked me about in your email... GET MY ADVANCED DATING TECHNIQUES PROGRAM. You need a new perspective on this entire situation. And you need a new perspective on women. You're obviously a smart guy, and once you begin to understand how ATTRACTION works for women, you'll change how you behave COMPLETELY. Total transformation. And the best part is that you won't be changing how you act and just "faking it". You'll change how you act because you GET IT. It's really fantastic to HELP a woman feel that magical ATTRACTION for you that she REALLY WANTS TO FEEL. And it's also amazing to know exactly how to get physical with a woman without having to deal with the awkward "shy away from the kiss" situation that you described in your email. I guarantee that when you listen to and/or watch my "Advanced Dating Techniques" program, it will FOREVER CHANGE how you think about and act around women. Period, end of story. Here, let me give you the hard- sell... I had to learn all of this stuff the hard way. I've been right where you are many, many, MANY times in my life. It sucks. I know it does. The reason why my program will be good for you is because it was good FOR ME FIRST. I teach what I do. And because I also believe that you should only have to pay for something that you find value in, I'll send it to you: -In a plain package so your mom doesn't know what's inside. -For you to try risk free for a MONTH. I'm betting that once you have it in your hot little hands that I couldn't pry it away from you with a crowbar. I'm serious. OK, enough of me trying to convince you of something you already know. Go watch the newest video preview clips and get it here: http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/AdvancedSeries Now repeat after me: I WILL NEVER ACT LIKE A WUSSY AGAIN! If you want to make your dating life a whole lot better and easier, then stop and think about your behavior... and resolve right now to stop acting like a WUSS for the rest of your life. Being "nice" and "accommodating" and "understanding" is great for friendships and social relationships, but it's HORRIBLE for ATTRACTION. An interesting, attractive woman doesn't want a guy that she can push around. She doesn't want a guy who does what she wants him to do. She doesn't want a little boy that she can train and raise. An interesting, attractive woman wants a MAN. This doesn't make LOGICAL sense, I know. But it's the truth. These submissive qualities will only work in attracting a woman IF SHE LIKES DRESSING UP IN LEATHER AND WHIPPING HER MAN... AND CHARGING $400.00 AN HOUR! And my guess is that this isn't the kind of woman that you're looking for. If you want to stop ACTING like a WUSSY you need to eliminate your INNER WUSS for good and build a rock-solid confidence level that is NATURALLY attractive to women. So you also need to take a look at my "Deep Inner Game" program. This program will eliminate inner challenges like insecurity, fear and anxiety that are holding you back from TRUE success with women. And as long as you have those kinds of fears you're gonna continue acting like a needy wussbag. So go take a look at some of the video clips from this program here: http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/DeepInnerGame Now I've explained some of the important qualities that you need to cultivate in yourself if you want to attract women... and keep them attracted. Now get out there and start working on it. ...and if you're reading this right now and you haven't yet downloaded your copy of my online eBook "Double Your Dating", I have something to tell you... My eBook is the foundation for EVERYTHING that I teach in these newsletters, my Advanced Dating Techniques, and other programs. And you need to read my Double Your Dating ebook, because it contains a lot of valuable material that sets the stage for everything else. It's here, so go download it now: http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/eBook Like I said, if you're just starting out, my ebooks and programs will show you things that you've never seen or heard before. You'll get a completely new perspective on what it takes to be successful with women and dating. If you're already successful, my programs will make you BETTER. There are a lot of very advanced concepts included... and you'll get to hear me interview guys who are AMAZING with women in my Advanced Series. In other words, no matter where you are with women, you'll improve. I'll talk to you again soon. Your Friend, David D.
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TLDR: NEVER tell a girl how you feel about her. Always let her be the one to share her feelings first.
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Unless you start using lubricant, yes.
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On March 26 2010 17:26 Jaime Raine wrote:Show nested quote +On March 25 2010 08:21 Pika Chu wrote:But please don't give me the usual crap about what women want because you red C&F and deangello and other dating experts. Because i have too and i've been to seminars and i've studied women psychology. And i eventually decided to drop it all and act natural. Which sometimes coincides with what they say, and sometimes like now simply is something different . Are you serious? I find that hard to believe as if you had just followed his advice I guarantee you she would not have rejected you. In fact, his latest newsletter has a situation very similar to yours: + Show Spoiler +Greetings,
I'm considering investing in your program, but I
have a question for you before I do. Essentially,
I'm no longer looking to hook up with women left
and right. In fact, I think I've met "the one,"
but I'm having trouble making her realize this.
I've been pursuing her for about five months
(during part of which time she was away at school,
but we kept in regular contact, at first through
e-mail and, later, over the phone), and I get the
sense that she's very guarded about relationships.
She's *very* goal oriented (which is one of the
many things I love about her, BTW), and therefore
very busy, and - I suspect - she's been burned in
the past, relationship wise. At any rate, on a
couple of occasions, it felt to me as if things
were moving forward, and then she backpedaled;
perhaps she "got spooked," and took a big step
back to protect herself. Most recently, we were
out for the first time since she finished school,
and - insofar as I was able to determine, I was
getting the green light all night: at a movie, I
slipped my arm around her and she leaned in,
resting her head on my shoulder; later, we were at
a club for a band, and when we were ready to
leave, she reached across the table and held my
hand for a while; on the way back to the car, it
was pretty chilly, and when she complained about
the chill, I stepped over and hugged her. She
responded by stepping into it: she pressed her
face hard into my shoulder, and stepped into full
body to body contact - hip to hip, shoulder to
shoulder and everything in between. When we got
back to her place, I moved to kiss her and she
shied away such that it would have been
*extremely* awkward for me to actually do so.
At any rate, we've gotten together since (in fact,
I offered to cook dinner for her, and she somehow
maneuvered it around such that I was *her* guest,
and she cooked for me) and we talked a while. As I
said above, I think she got a little spooked. She
specifically said that she thought the
relationship could've evolved into something
romantic, but that it hasn't, and she wasn't sure
why. At this moment, she says she doesn't believe
it will. We remain *very* close friends, but I
still believe she's the one, and I've told her
that I'm still going to pursue this, and she's
keen on still spending time together (for her, for
now, as close friends).
My question is this: do you believe your program
can aid me in turning her around on this? If so,
why?
Thanks,
B. OK, sit down for this. Hold on to something tight, because I'm going to yell at you for your own damn good... YOU ARE TOTALLY MISSING WHAT'S GOING ON! THIS WOMAN ACTUALLY LIKES YOU, AND YOU'RE SCREWING IT ALL UP BY ACTING LIKE A NEEDY WUSS BAG! If you were closer, I'd slap you myself. DUH! Whew. Let me calm myself. As you know, I don't usually get so worked up. That makes three exclamation marks in one email, and I haven't even started lambasting you proper yet. (What is lambasting, anyway? And is that how you spell it? It's such a great word. I really should look and find out.) OK, I'm calm. NOW, let's have a little talk here... The reason why this kind of situation bothers me is at least twofold: 1) Because I've been in it myself about a bazillion and a half times, and it sucks to be screwing something up and not even realize that you're doing it. 2) I can tell from your email that you actually like this girl A LOT, and that she's probably a fantastic woman... and I hate to see you working so hard against yourself... and screwing this up when it's right there in front of you for the taking. Before I tell you all the reasons why you most DEFINITELY should invest in my Advanced Dating Techniques program, let me give you a few pointers that might help you STOP screwing this up in the meantime. OK, back to the basics. Let's take this from the top... At the very beginning of your email, you said something that basically telegraphed EXACTLY what was going on here... You said "...I think I've met "the one," but I'm having trouble making her realize this. I've been pursuing her for about five months..." You're having trouble making her REALIZE this? You've been PURSUING her? Do you assume that at some point within the NEXT five months that she's going to wake up one day and feel a powerful ATTRACTION for you because you like to chase her around and tell her how you feel about her? Normally I'd make fun of you here, and tell you that you don't get it... blah blah blah. But for some reason I feel like I just have to lay things out for you directly. Look, man... the reason why she's telling you that she "doesn't know why it hasn't evolved into something romantic" is that she doesn't FEEL IT. She doesn't FEEL IT. Get it? SHE DOESN'T FEEL IT! She doesn't feel ATTRACTION for you. And you can't CONVINCE her to feel it by chasing her around and telling her how you "feel" about her. Attraction, as I always say, ISN'T A CHOICE. You need to go and get yourself an IN-DEPTH education on the topic of creating ATTRACTION. Go read my new online eBook "Attraction Isn't A Choice". This book will take you "behind the scenes" and show you how to communicate with women in a way that TRIGGERS the attraction... instead of trying to be a "nice guy" and CONVINCE her to feel it for you. You can download it right now, and be reading it within a few minutes. Go download it here: http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/AttractionBook Now, you're acting like most guys who think things like: "If she only knew how I felt about her, she'd feel the same way" and "If I keep pursuing her, she'll eventually see how much I love her" etc. Well guess what? AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN, HOMEY. Right now you are playing what is referred to as a "losing game". Think of it this way. If you stop on the way home from work every day and buy a lottery ticket, you'll win once in awhile. Hell, you might even be lucky one day and win big. But your chances SUCK. You're probably going to lose a LOT more than you win over time. Like I said, you COULD win big. There is a chance. But you probably won't. And I mean probably with a BIG P. I refer to the way that you're acting as "Being a Wussy" (that's the technical term... made it up myself). When you act like a Wussy, you do things like: -Pursue -Cling -Share "feelings" -Act submissive -Seek approval -Pine away This is WUSSY behavior. It's distinctly FEMININE in nature. When guys act like this, they're getting in touch with their inner little girl (and she needs a spanking in the worst way). And are you ready for the WORST, WORST part? When you act like this around a woman (and ESPECIALLY a "goal oriented" woman who's probably smart and powerful like yours) they CANNOT feel the emotion of ATTRACTION towards you. Women aren't attracted to Wussies. This is a UNIVERSAL truth. And by the way that you describe your relationship with this woman, SHE REALLY WANTS TO BE ATTRACTED TO YOU! She's trying, man. And she probably KNOWS that you'd be a great guy to be in a relationship with... but she just doesn't FEEL IT... so she holds back. I'm sure she WISHES that she could be attracted to you. I'll bet you money. Look, you need to STOP acting like a nice friend guy Wuss IMMEDIATELY if you want this to turn into something. You're probably beyond help with this particular woman, but I'm going to give you a few ideas JUST IN CASE... 1) Stop calling her all the time (if you do), and stop spending so much time with her. 2) Start dating other women IMMEDIATELY, and make sure she knows about it. 3) Stop being all lovey with her, and don't tell her how you "feel about her" anymore. Stop it. 4) Accept that you will probably be friends with her forever, and start acting that way. 5) Don't try to kiss her or be physical with her at ALL anymore until you understand what you're doing. Remember, what you're doing ISN'T WORKING. If you do these things that I've described, you will probably have the best chance of turning this around. NOW, the next thing you need to do is what you asked me about in your email... GET MY ADVANCED DATING TECHNIQUES PROGRAM. You need a new perspective on this entire situation. And you need a new perspective on women. You're obviously a smart guy, and once you begin to understand how ATTRACTION works for women, you'll change how you behave COMPLETELY. Total transformation. And the best part is that you won't be changing how you act and just "faking it". You'll change how you act because you GET IT. It's really fantastic to HELP a woman feel that magical ATTRACTION for you that she REALLY WANTS TO FEEL. And it's also amazing to know exactly how to get physical with a woman without having to deal with the awkward "shy away from the kiss" situation that you described in your email. I guarantee that when you listen to and/or watch my "Advanced Dating Techniques" program, it will FOREVER CHANGE how you think about and act around women. Period, end of story. Here, let me give you the hard- sell... I had to learn all of this stuff the hard way. I've been right where you are many, many, MANY times in my life. It sucks. I know it does. The reason why my program will be good for you is because it was good FOR ME FIRST. I teach what I do. And because I also believe that you should only have to pay for something that you find value in, I'll send it to you: -In a plain package so your mom doesn't know what's inside. -For you to try risk free for a MONTH. I'm betting that once you have it in your hot little hands that I couldn't pry it away from you with a crowbar. I'm serious. OK, enough of me trying to convince you of something you already know. Go watch the newest video preview clips and get it here: http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/AdvancedSeries Now repeat after me: I WILL NEVER ACT LIKE A WUSSY AGAIN! If you want to make your dating life a whole lot better and easier, then stop and think about your behavior... and resolve right now to stop acting like a WUSS for the rest of your life. Being "nice" and "accommodating" and "understanding" is great for friendships and social relationships, but it's HORRIBLE for ATTRACTION. An interesting, attractive woman doesn't want a guy that she can push around. She doesn't want a guy who does what she wants him to do. She doesn't want a little boy that she can train and raise. An interesting, attractive woman wants a MAN. This doesn't make LOGICAL sense, I know. But it's the truth. These submissive qualities will only work in attracting a woman IF SHE LIKES DRESSING UP IN LEATHER AND WHIPPING HER MAN... AND CHARGING $400.00 AN HOUR! And my guess is that this isn't the kind of woman that you're looking for. If you want to stop ACTING like a WUSSY you need to eliminate your INNER WUSS for good and build a rock-solid confidence level that is NATURALLY attractive to women. So you also need to take a look at my "Deep Inner Game" program. This program will eliminate inner challenges like insecurity, fear and anxiety that are holding you back from TRUE success with women. And as long as you have those kinds of fears you're gonna continue acting like a needy wussbag. So go take a look at some of the video clips from this program here: http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/DeepInnerGame Now I've explained some of the important qualities that you need to cultivate in yourself if you want to attract women... and keep them attracted. Now get out there and start working on it. ...and if you're reading this right now and you haven't yet downloaded your copy of my online eBook "Double Your Dating", I have something to tell you... My eBook is the foundation for EVERYTHING that I teach in these newsletters, my Advanced Dating Techniques, and other programs. And you need to read my Double Your Dating ebook, because it contains a lot of valuable material that sets the stage for everything else. It's here, so go download it now: http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/eBook Like I said, if you're just starting out, my ebooks and programs will show you things that you've never seen or heard before. You'll get a completely new perspective on what it takes to be successful with women and dating. If you're already successful, my programs will make you BETTER. There are a lot of very advanced concepts included... and you'll get to hear me interview guys who are AMAZING with women in my Advanced Series. In other words, no matter where you are with women, you'll improve. I'll talk to you again soon. Your Friend, David D.
David D is still doing all this stuff? I had no idea.
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On March 25 2010 17:29 krndandaman wrote:
When I broke up with my first girlfriend it hurt so much.
I was head over heels for her and she was for me too until she lost that feeling.
During the period where I realized the love wasn't mutual was when it hurt the most.
It's been a year now and I'm only somewhat recovered. I'm not attracted to her anymore and would never want her back, yet I have this feeling that I have hole in my heart that can't be filled yet.
I don't really fall for a girl these days and I miss that. I've only been flirting around and hooking up, but the good feelings are only temporary. Your first heartbreak is hard, it'll take some time to get through. :/
The bold is a key difference between the two situations. You were actually with her, which makes your pain legit. No guy, no matter how hardened he is, or how big of a player he is, is immediately over their first love, or any love. It's especially hard when it's not a mutual thing, and you realize that she never really cared for you in the way she claimed she did, even though you still do. It's even worse when you find out that she went back to the guy she was with before you, and it's likely that her entire story was bullshit on why she broke up with you. But you know what helps you get over it? Other women, having a life... because eventually you realize that it just wasn't "meant to be" and you move on with life.
On March 26 2010 10:42 Rev0lution wrote:
Alright, maybe I didn't go into detail about girls but I'm glad SweetLemons expanded on it.
I think Pika Chu is a serious case of Below AFC. First of all you need to accept that you DID pour your heart onto a girl. Pouring your heart doesn't mean expressing your love.
It simply means that you expressed your feelings to her. Clearly you are the sensitive type, you describe this girl as if you knew her forever; when in fact you know shit about her.
A 10 page letter is psycho shit, don't send it or she will likely think your a stalker / call the cops.
My only advice:
Don't daydream about girls. This has happened to me back in high school and even early college. It makes you develop feelings that are NOT there.
Having strong feelings over someone you barely know is only allowed on romance movies, in real life we call this OBSESSION.
Daydreaming about girls and fantasizing about marrying them is clearly a sign that you are lacking basic self steem skills and missing a social life.
Work out, get a hobby, study harder, make friends and you will NOT have enough time to daydream about women.
That is the truth.
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I know it's been said, but saying it again can't hurt. Play more SC
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Valhalla18444 Posts
On March 25 2010 19:44 Pika Chu wrote:
I'm feeling ok now. Some sleep fixed it.
It's amazing how many people came here to give me their advices even when i specified i don't need any. I only asked a question and all i wanted maybe was people to read and listen to me. Simple as it is i don't need advices, i know what i've done wrong and most of your advices are standard bullcrap to be honest.
lol
enjoy your heartache i guess. maybe if you would pay attention to what your betters are trying to tell you in this thread you can avoid it in the future ^_^
i doubt it though you seem pretty intent on staying your retarded course. why are you so proud? certainly doesn't seem justified given the situation
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it hurts dawg..it hurts deep down i feel you son
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On March 27 2010 08:08 FakeSteve[TPR] wrote:Show nested quote +On March 25 2010 19:44 Pika Chu wrote:
I'm feeling ok now. Some sleep fixed it.
It's amazing how many people came here to give me their advices even when i specified i don't need any. I only asked a question and all i wanted maybe was people to read and listen to me. Simple as it is i don't need advices, i know what i've done wrong and most of your advices are standard bullcrap to be honest. lol enjoy your heartache i guess. maybe if you would pay attention to what your betters are trying to tell you in this thread you can avoid it in the future ^_^ i doubt it though you seem pretty intent on staying your retarded course. why are you so proud? certainly doesn't seem justified given the situation
You are the best.
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thx for writing this blog! I feel soooo good to have already been rejected twice in grade school and now getting pre-pared for some real dating. This thread is chock-full with a huge amount of advice. I guess just being natural as long as it doesn't mean throwing up your emotions all over her is the correct approach.
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Instead of telling your feelings and what not you should've asked her out on a date..... like 2 years ago.
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As stuff like this always tends to get more complicated... she just called me asking if i wanna have a coffee with her. Should have just said a clear no, but i softened up (yeah can't get rid of hopes that she'll change her mind, just can't emotionally) and accepted. So... here's how the "hurt" prolongs itself. I'll post outcome here guess you may be interested in it.
Thoughts:
- she spoke her mind last time and it's not going to change
- she's probably just going to try and assure that we're still amigos.
- maybe try and give me a clearance on her side regarding the mail i sent her (which i seriously exaggerate and was only like 1-2 pages if i look now, but it felt like writing a book)
- feelings just never go away fast, so i shouldn't pretend I'm over, just be natural and speak whatever i feel at the moment.
Whatever, doesn't matter. This is irrelevant. Que sera sera.
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On March 27 2010 21:05 TwilightStar wrote:
Never try, Never fail.
Never try, never win.
Yeah, I think I'd pass on that since usually that means she either wants to be friends or will use you somehow (some people like this though  ).
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Bro, you don't go from friends for 2 years to professing your love under a balcony Romeo style. It's just too much of a change, you gotta ease into it, start flirting and playful touching (this is advice for next time because it's too late for this time).
To ease the pain just get drunk for a few nights and put on some heavy metal then move on. Don't let a rejection get in the way of your future happiness. Being rejected is better than keeping it inside anyway.
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we never get used to pain.
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This is the reason why I'm not confessing to a girl I like...
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On March 28 2010 02:31 Kingfisher wrote:
This is the reason why I'm not confessing to a girl I like...
Don't think of it as a confession because otherwise yeah you're right you probably shouldn't.
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Man this story is soooo interesting. I almost can't believe its real!Almost...
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On March 27 2010 19:38 Pika Chu wrote:
As stuff like this always tends to get more complicated... she just called me asking if i wanna have a coffee with her. Should have just said a clear no, but i softened up (yeah can't get rid of hopes that she'll change her mind, just can't emotionally) and accepted. So... here's how the "hurt" prolongs itself. I'll post outcome here guess you may be interested in it.
Thoughts:
- she spoke her mind last time and it's not going to change
- she's probably just going to try and assure that we're still amigos.
- maybe try and give me a clearance on her side regarding the mail i sent her (which i seriously exaggerate and was only like 1-2 pages if i look now, but it felt like writing a book)
- feelings just never go away fast, so i shouldn't pretend I'm over, just be natural and speak whatever i feel at the moment.
Whatever, doesn't matter. This is irrelevant. Que sera sera.
stop thinking about it. don't put so much emphasis on stuff she does, it will freak her out/psyche you out and not help you get where you want to go.
go get coffee with her. chat, have a good time. she knows you want her so she'll have been thinking about it. if you just talk to her like one of your guy friends about whatever/don't bring up anything about you + her thats about serious relationship stuff, basically don't acknowledge that you want her, she'll feel it and wonder whats up. do it enough and she'll get so unvalidated she'll want you to go after her
does that make sense?
Thoughts:
- Have fun. If you don't walk away from the coffee shop feeling like you just had an interaction that was worth something, you need to step it up.
- Coffee and conversation is not a date. It's what friends do
- No means not yet.
- Don't put too much meaning onto anything she does and don't expect stuff from her
- This might not seem related, but it completely is: We are all destined to die. We are all running out of time. Most people don't appreciate how far they've come and keep looking forwards or backwards. Their life revolves around plans in the future or their actions are dominated by moments from the past. Take a moment and consider how there is so much to this world. I'm not saying don't plan or don't learn from your mistakes, I'm saying keep yourself connected to the present. If you have a choice between giving yourself a new experience or not, choose to explore.
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On March 25 2010 06:09 Pika Chu wrote:
I hate blogs, i never thought I'll make one, here or anywhere. I simply need to write this, since i don't feel like talking with anyone known.
So i just got a NO from a girl i really liked. It's strange, we are colleagues and were so at this master for almost 2 years now. I've always found her interesting and a nice company. I started really liking her a couple of weeks ago. It's maybe because I've found her "human nature" her sensitivity at that point. She simply opened up on me and i tend to like sensitive persons, people who can let me read them, people that are alive, that are human. Hard to explain this properly but it doesn't matter.
So i tried to tell her my feelings, just being direct and sincere. Today i finally had that occasion. I told her, went directly all-in since i liked her... in a profound way, almost getting in love with her. She looked at me amazed while i continued with my speech. She was "oh my god..." and after i told her what i wanted (which is never enough, i would've need 2 days to say everything) i asked her to be sincere about me and tell me if she's interested or not, and she finally told me she's not interested.
I was expecting this, even though she gave me a lot of "interest" signs. Didn't think it will hurt this much, i prepared myself for it... but no matter it still hurts.
I've been in this situation many times. I'm used to it, i don't want any "time will heal, it will pass, etc". And even after happening for so many times, it still hurts.
I would expect everytime this happens you get less sensitive on it and finally you will be immune to it. It will simply not hurt any longer.
So what do you guys think? Will stuff like these always hurt no matter how many you experience and suffer for?
If you keep letting yourself fall in love and then wimping out so she isn't interested in you sexually anymore then it's going to keep hurting.
so stop falling in live and start interesting her sexually, that's about it. Also don't bother with her anymore.
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On March 25 2010 09:39 Foucault wrote:
Yeah it hurts.
For a while.
Then you start working out, meet hotter girls and become awesome.
This man speaks so much truth.
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On March 28 2010 09:06 ShaLLoW[baY] wrote:Show nested quote +On March 25 2010 09:39 Foucault wrote:
Yeah it hurts.
For a while.
Then you start working out, meet hotter girls and become awesome. This man speaks so much truth.
lol. I'm at working out right now.
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On March 28 2010 02:31 Kingfisher wrote:
This is the reason why I'm not confessing to a girl I like...
Well I think that a lot of problems come from guys waiting too long to tell a girl about his feelings, and a girl is likely to take this as a guy not liking her. Don't wait man, something good might happen!
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On March 29 2010 04:01 Gogleion wrote:Show nested quote +On March 28 2010 02:31 Kingfisher wrote:
This is the reason why I'm not confessing to a girl I like... Well I think that a lot of problems come from guys waiting too long to tell a girl about his feelings, and a girl is likely to take this as a guy not liking her. Don't wait man, something good might happen!
lol you made me finally understand what a popular girl at my school is doing. She picks boys she likes and says "I know you like me" when the kid doesn't like her at all, just listening to her conversations(it's happening to me and my friends who are the quiet type and for some reason we all like listening to others conversations, which is probably why we are the quiet type lol.). Anyways, she gets the whole school to support her starting with her friends and then going from them(girls gossip A LOT) to the rest of the school in a couple days, a week tops. Annoyingly enough she picks me to do it too next. 2nd kid on her list, our second year of middle school...
... I HATE THIS GIRL!
edit: sorry for the rage...
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At least you didn't open up your heart and run away before you get an answer.
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On March 29 2010 06:21 kdog3683 wrote:
At least you didn't open up your heart and run away before you get an answer.
Did you do that?
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On March 29 2010 06:07 3FFA wrote:Show nested quote +On March 29 2010 04:01 Gogleion wrote:On March 28 2010 02:31 Kingfisher wrote:
This is the reason why I'm not confessing to a girl I like... Well I think that a lot of problems come from guys waiting too long to tell a girl about his feelings, and a girl is likely to take this as a guy not liking her. Don't wait man, something good might happen! lol you made me finally understand what a popular girl at my school is doing. She picks boys she likes and says "I know you like me" when the kid doesn't like her at all, just listening to her conversations(it's happening to me and my friends who are the quiet type and for some reason we all like listening to others conversations, which is probably why we are the quiet type lol.). Anyways, she gets the whole school to support her starting with her friends and then going from them(girls gossip A LOT) to the rest of the school in a couple days, a week tops. Annoyingly enough she picks me to do it too next. 2nd kid on her list, our second year of middle school... ... I HATE THIS GIRL! edit: sorry for the rage...
Dude, don't worry about it. When you get to high school, you'll find a group of kids like you, and you won't have to worry about anyone that's more or less popular than you (even though the girls can sometimes get a lot crazier, and more subtle about their insanity)
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On March 27 2010 19:38 Pika Chu wrote:
As stuff like this always tends to get more complicated... she just called me asking if i wanna have a coffee with her. Should have just said a clear no, but i softened up (yeah can't get rid of hopes that she'll change her mind, just can't emotionally) and accepted. So... here's how the "hurt" prolongs itself. I'll post outcome here guess you may be interested in it.
Thoughts:
- she spoke her mind last time and it's not going to change
- she's probably just going to try and assure that we're still amigos.
- maybe try and give me a clearance on her side regarding the mail i sent her (which i seriously exaggerate and was only like 1-2 pages if i look now, but it felt like writing a book)
- feelings just never go away fast, so i shouldn't pretend I'm over, just be natural and speak whatever i feel at the moment.
Whatever, doesn't matter. This is irrelevant. Que sera sera.
I can't believe you sent that email. Seriously, I can't believe it.
I know you didn't ask for advice, and I know your ideas seem really grand right now (even though they suck... even if you do get this girl which is unlikely, it's such a fool's mate. You played the game all wrong and got lucky if it happens to work out). I'm glad that at least that dude in middle school got something out of all of this.
Which, btw, kid in middle school, girls don't start to react properly to this until high school. Girls in middle school still believe all that fairy tale bullshit. If you're fat, get into shape before HS. If you're unfashionable, start wearing cool kid clothes by high school (as much as I hate Aeropostale, and Abercrombie and Hollister, they're SUPER popular with snobby whores in HS, and will help you out some if you can afford to shop there. If not, hit up H & M or something like that... wear decent clothes is all I'm trying to say). If you're lame, start doing shit with your life... you can't be cool if you're sitting in your room playing video games all day. If you don't like drinking, don't drink, but find some way to go to as many lame ass HS parties as possible (they suck balls compared to a real party, but you can't go to those, so go to the HS ones). If I knew then what I know now... I would have been a baller in HS.
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EPT![[image loading]](http://i282.photobucket.com/albums/kk252/kingkongkymm/Pokemon/ash.jpg)
