Hear me out.
This all sort of started in the end of the summer of 2008 when I was going to the doctor to get a shot for...something...maybe Meningitis, since I was transferring to a new school. Before this I had never had trouble with shots. Anyways apparently I held my breath while I got the shot, which I have been told since is a common thing that people do without knowing it, and this caused me to pass out. No big deal, (although the nurse didn't notice me go out so I smacked my head on a counter when I fell, so I guess it could have been much worse) but I had never passed out before, so it was new to me.
Fast forward a few months, and I have chosen biology as my new major since I find it fascinating. I'm in a gen ed human bio class that I registered for before I chose my major, but the class was still ok and counted as major elective credit so w/e. The professor, well, she was just a horrible professor. She seemed to think her job was not to teach us about human biology, but to teach all of the freshman girls about the evils that us college guys were going to unleash on them if they ever drank alcohol or wore a miniskirt. (Also, she gave EVERYTHING cutsie nicknames during lecture and it was infuriating.) Anyways on one of her rants she decided to fight the sexual urges of her students by simply clicking through a powerpoint of the genital mutilating after effects of various STD's and simply list off the STD that caused what we were seeing in the picture. About 3 minutes in a girl a few rows ahead of me couldn't take it anymore and passed out. Obviously that doesn't effect me, but I then realized that 1. I have passed out before, and may pass out again, and 2. Passing out infront of a class of 300 students must suck a whole lot. Those 2 realizations almost made me pass out when the professor plunged right back into her slide show, but I made it through.
A few weeks later we were dealing with the Cardiovascular system. One of the things we did was watch a nearly class-long video of a man recounting his heart attack. Unfortunately the guy was 1. Familiar enough with the human body to know what was happening to him, and 2. Too stubborn to admit it. So he had the distinct pleasure of having a >6 hour heart attack while fully aware of what was going on. I couldn't fucking take it. I got tunnel vision, was covered in sweat, and towards the end the only thing I could hear was static. I have no fucking clue how I didn't pass out, but afaik I didn't.
Anyways I kept on with biology, and have since had 2 semesters of bio courses without passing out/almost passing out, and those semesters included dissections, so I figured I was golden.
But today was hemophilia day in genetics.
About 5 minutes in to his description of the steps involved in bleeding to death as a hemophiliac I realized I was probably not going to make it. My immediate urge was to excuse myself to go to the bathroom and come back when I had it under control, but I was pretty sure standing up would knock me out. And anyways, I propped myself up so that if I did pass out it would just look as if I fell asleep. That is when my epic 20 minute struggle began.
It started with pins and needles over my entire body, and the feeling that my skin was really hot. My clothes became crazily uncomfortable, and I started to sweat profusely. I lost circulation to my hand enough that I could no longer control it to take notes. I got extreme tunnel vision which eventually became almost complete blindness. And then my hearing changed so that it sounded like my professor was lecturing at the end of 100 foot pipe while I was listening at the other end. That was pretty much the peak, and after that everything sorta slowly came back, although for the next half hour I could hear static that wasn't there. I apparently tensed all my muscles up during this, since my arms and legs were sore as hell when I came out of it, and still are.
Anyways now I am trying to figure out how I am going to deal with this, and I really don't want to change my major as I still find biology/chemistry to be the most fascinating thing ever. Anybody been through something similar and have strategies to deal with it? Any psych people know of ways to solve this?
I've thought of going on youtube and watching video's that set it off so that I can become desensitized to it, but I'm afraid that might just make it worse.
Finally, an interesting little bit that I'm sure tl.netters will appreciate. In the depth of my episode, I was trying as hard as I could to think of something else. Anything other than hemophilia and blood, and I wanted to think about it hard enough to block out my professor. I grasped at a few straws before I finally found it. Of all things, the thought that helped me stay conscious during my ordeal was Dragoon micro vs. tanks. I have no clue how, but just picturing mock battles and how the protoss should go about engaging the tanks in a given situation was able to keep my mind off of the blood enough to keep me awake. (Btw I don't count blue dragoon goo as blood.)