Wrote this for my school's Honor Society and they're a bunch of playahaters.
Table tennis is a joke. That is, it’s certainly the butt of many jokes. See the summer blockbuster “Balls of Fury.” The way it’s depicted in this dazzling docudrama of realism, you would think it required a complex blend of mixed martial arts and ballet…if you were extremely gullible. Suffice to say that in pop culture, table tennis is something of a punchline.
To others, table tennis is simply not a sport. It’s not something that requires genuine dexterity or strength. After all, the players are just standing at a table bouncing a ball across a miniature net. If Forrest Gump can do it, anybody can.
But you need only look at my incredibly huge, ripped, and sexy right arm to know that that’s not all there is to it. Table tennis has gifted me with muscle mass that I may have never attained otherwise; who knows, I may have remained a skinny little Asian boy forever. But now, I’m a somebody. Guys want to be me. Girls want to be with me.
A hotel room. Bass that can render you sterile. Tight black leather pants. A full can of Axe body spray. These were the ingredients I chose to create one of my famous parties. But then I accidentally added some extra components to the debauchery! Discipline. Grit. Focus. Stamina—both physical and emotional. Then the party became a table tennis player. And it made grown men lose bowel control. All the aforementioned traits, party items aside, are essential if you want to win a match, or at least lose without crying like a pansy. Most importantly, however, to improve as a player, I needed to learn a lesson my coach has always tried to impart to his students: to play free, to perform without inhibition or fear of losing. Both these things are crippling to the player locked in intense ping-pong combat. And so I had to muster up my self-confidence and separate my self-esteem from my victories; I don’t need to win to feel that I’m worthwhile. I play not for the sake of standing on a podium but for the pleasure of honing and enjoying my skills earned over years of drills and tournaments. And for the pride I take in knowing I could break a jaw or kill a squirrel with my forehand loop. I play just because that’s how I roll. No matter what the outcomes of my matches are, I’m still going to play like a gangsta, and look good doing it.
This essay needs a lot of work. It seems a little bit like you are taking this as a joke. Please try to make this article a little bit more serious. You might want to gear the article a little bit more towards how different activities are undertaken at Harker, how we are not all one-dimensional students, that we have various interests that span many different fields, from video games, to table tennis, to playing football at lunch. You don't really say what you learned from this experience, either. You merely state that you are now a "gangsta" no matter how your matches go. That doesn't really tell the reader what you have taken away or how this relates at all to the NHS pillars. You were initially fine, until you reached the "sexy arm" bit. Try toning it down and talk a little bit more about the NHS character side of the activity, rather than the aesthetic value you seem to have taken away from the experience. Please try to remove as many colloquialisms or somewhat crude jokes. Try to represent the values that you think we as a club would uphold. Would you submit this to your English teacher as a real paper? Take the perspective of the complete stranger who might be reading this in the newsletter. Will they feel inspired and impressed by the story you tell? We were hoping that you would use this article showcase our community's "unique" talents.
The writing style does not sound good. The thesis is not clearly stated and I can't tell if you are in support of table tennis or just making fun of it. Seriously, the sarcasm, if that's what it is, is just plain weird. The "essay" is a joke. Basically, it's not even a proper essay. It's almost like its random one liners of troll's on a TL.net thread just strung together. I know I'm being harsh, but I couldn't even finish reading the third paragraph.
(sorry for the harsh criticism, but it's just my opinion. take the criticism that they gave you seriously and make this into a legit essay, especially if it's for your Honor Society.)
edit: an essay has a thesis. the rest of the essay works to support that thesis. this is not evident in the writing (at least imo).
On January 11 2010 10:37 omahahowitzer wrote: But you need only look at my incredibly huge, ripped, and sexy right arm to know that that’s not all there is to it.
These sound like the words of someone who has taken masturbating too far.
On January 11 2010 10:49 GrayArea wrote: The writing style does not sound good. The thesis is not clearly stated and I can't tell if you are in support of table tennis or just making fun of it. Seriously, the sarcasm, if that's what it is, is just plain weird. The "essay" is a joke. Basically, it's not even a proper essay. It's almost like its random one liners of troll's on a TL.net thread just strung together. I know I'm being harsh, but I couldn't even finish reading the third paragraph.
(sorry for the harsh criticism, but it's just my opinion. take the criticism that they gave you seriously and make this into a legit essay, especially if it's for your Honor Society.)
edit: an essay has a thesis. the rest of the essay works to support that thesis. this is not evident in the writing (at least imo).
I don't think the point of this thread was to get essay tips.
On January 11 2010 12:21 illu wrote: You got to be kidding me. Table tennis is a very technical sport.
are you romainian?
It's technical in that it takes lots of practice to gain consistency and proficiency. Being able to adjust your swing to the amount of spin your opponent gives you whether it be top spin, backspin or side spin (or any combination of the last one with respect to the first two). But there is a lot of thought that is involved within being able to win each point, how to serve, and beating different opponents.
On January 11 2010 12:21 illu wrote: You got to be kidding me. Table tennis is a very technical sport.
are you romainian?
It's technical in that it takes lots of practice to gain consistency and proficiency. Being able to adjust your swing to the amount of spin your opponent gives you whether it be top spin, backspin or side spin (or any combination of the last one with respect to the first two). But there is a lot of thought that is involved within being able to win each point, how to serve, and beating different opponents.
That's correct. Typically, table tennis does not require a lot of stamina (which is a lot different from, say, tennis); speed and accuracy constitute a good player.
On January 11 2010 12:21 illu wrote: You got to be kidding me. Table tennis is a very technical sport.
are you romainian?
It's technical in that it takes lots of practice to gain consistency and proficiency. Being able to adjust your swing to the amount of spin your opponent gives you whether it be top spin, backspin or side spin (or any combination of the last one with respect to the first two). But there is a lot of thought that is involved within being able to win each point, how to serve, and beating different opponents.
The point was that people think it's a joke but it isn't really and requires a lot of skill and emotional strength =X
yea lol didn't the table tennis federation or whatever change the rules so the balls would be bigger so they would move slower because they were trying to make it easier for non-china teams to win lol .and also reduced the amount of points needed to win so players could play riskier shots to get points?o _O thats what i heard at least don't take my word for it. would be interested to know if this is true.
On January 11 2010 13:36 alffla wrote: yea lol didn't the table tennis federation or whatever change the rules so the balls would be bigger so they would move slower because they were trying to make it easier for non-china teams to win lol .and also reduced the amount of points needed to win so players could play riskier shots to get points?o _O thats what i heard at least don't take my word for it. would be interested to know if this is true.
Might have been a part of it, but I was told the main factor in shortening games and slowing down the ball was to make it a better spectator sport.
On January 11 2010 13:36 alffla wrote: yea lol didn't the table tennis federation or whatever change the rules so the balls would be bigger so they would move slower because they were trying to make it easier for non-china teams to win lol .and also reduced the amount of points needed to win so players could play riskier shots to get points?o _O thats what i heard at least don't take my word for it. would be interested to know if this is true.
Might have been a part of it, but I was told the main factor in shortening games and slowing down the ball was to make it a better spectator sport.
They also changed women's doubles and men's doubles to women's and men's team respectively at the Olympic games in an attempt to see if another country can do better. Didn't work out lol.
On January 11 2010 10:37 omahahowitzer wrote: Wrote this for my school's Honor Society and they're a bunch of playahaters.
Table tennis is a joke. That is, it’s certainly the butt of many jokes. See the summer blockbuster “Balls of Fury.” The way it’s depicted in this dazzling docudrama of realism, you would think it required a complex blend of mixed martial arts and ballet…if you were extremely gullible. Suffice to say that in pop culture, table tennis is something of a punchline.
To others, table tennis is simply not a sport. It’s not something that requires genuine dexterity or strength. After all, the players are just standing at a table bouncing a ball across a miniature net. If Forrest Gump can do it, anybody can.
This is fine. You are making the point that other people think this. You are setting up to make the point that table tennis is actually good.
On January 11 2010 10:37 omahahowitzer wrote:
But you need only look at my incredibly huge, ripped, and sexy right arm to know that that’s not all there is to it. Table tennis has gifted me with muscle mass that I may have never attained otherwise; who knows, I may have remained a skinny little Asian boy forever. But now, I’m a somebody. Guys want to be me. Girls want to be with me.
This doesn't work. This is where you want to transition into the good side of table tennis. However, by using hyperbole (exaggerating) you come across as sarcastic, which gives the opposite impression - you are trying to put table tennis down.
On January 11 2010 10:37 omahahowitzer wrote:
A hotel room. Bass that can render you sterile. Tight black leather pants. A full can of Axe body spray. These were the ingredients I chose to create one of my famous parties. But then I accidentally added some extra components to the debauchery! Discipline. Grit. Focus. Stamina—both physical and emotional. Then the party became a table tennis player. And it made grown men lose bowel control.
I don't get this bit.
On January 11 2010 10:37 omahahowitzer wrote:
All the aforementioned traits, party items aside, are essential if you want to win a match, or at least lose without crying like a pansy. Most importantly, however, to improve as a player, I needed to learn a lesson my coach has always tried to impart to his students: to play free, to perform without inhibition or fear of losing. Both these things are crippling to the player locked in intense ping-pong combat. And so I had to muster up my self-confidence and separate my self-esteem from my victories; I don’t need to win to feel that I’m worthwhile. I play not for the sake of standing on a podium but for the pleasure of honing and enjoying my skills earned over years of drills and tournaments. And for the pride I take in knowing I could break a jaw or kill a squirrel with my forehand loop. I play just because that’s how I roll. No matter what the outcomes of my matches are, I’m still going to play like a gangsta, and look good doing it.
That’s what I’ve learned.
The message here seems to be "what table tennis has taught me". However, to do that, you need to tie it to something serious, an incident where you used what you learned in table tennis to turn a situation around. Tying it to a hypothetical party is not the way to go.
Also, since this is about table tennis and not sports in general, you should try to write about something that table tennis teaches that other sports don't.
It might be a semi-joke sportwise, but it's quite fun. I practiced it for like 6 months when I was younger. Then again Sweden has had many awesome table tennis players.
EPT
