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[Q] Can you REALLY change your personality?

Blogs > Garnet
Post a Reply
1 2 Next All
Garnet
Profile Blog Joined February 2006
Vietnam9016 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-06-14 17:14:14
November 18 2009 12:03 GMT
#1
I love Nobuo Uematsu

*
Snet *
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
United States3573 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-11-18 12:07:25
November 18 2009 12:07 GMT
#2
The characteristics you listed can be changed. I think the way you act depends on the things you surround yourself with. New personalities can be learned, but there will always be a little bit of the person you used to be lingering around.
Xeofreestyler
Profile Blog Joined June 2005
Belgium6769 Posts
November 18 2009 12:09 GMT
#3
I replied begging to do it but she hasn't replied.

First of all: Dont you ever fucking send a text like that again. You do NOT beg people to do stuff for them. This should be common sense.
If anything they should be begging you to do the favor for them, really.

Second: Ask yourself this question: why do you wanna please people so badly? Try reflecting on that and post it here.
Graphics
motbob
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States12546 Posts
November 18 2009 12:09 GMT
#4
Try working out
ModeratorGood content always wins.
motbob
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States12546 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-11-18 12:10:08
November 18 2009 12:09 GMT
#5
ModeratorGood content always wins.
meeple
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
Canada10211 Posts
November 18 2009 12:13 GMT
#6
On November 18 2009 21:09 Xeofreestyler wrote:
I replied begging to do it but she hasn't replied.

First of all: Dont you ever fucking send a text like that again. You do NOT beg people to do stuff for them. This should be common sense.
If anything they should be begging you to do the favor for them, really.

Second: Ask yourself this question: why do you wanna please people so badly? Try reflecting on that and post it here.


Agreed. Try apathy. Not caring can do wonders for improving your self esteem. You realize that you don't need to please and don't really care what they think.
druj
Profile Blog Joined September 2009
137 Posts
November 18 2009 12:16 GMT
#7
On November 18 2009 21:13 meeple wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 18 2009 21:09 Xeofreestyler wrote:
I replied begging to do it but she hasn't replied.

First of all: Dont you ever fucking send a text like that again. You do NOT beg people to do stuff for them. This should be common sense.
If anything they should be begging you to do the favor for them, really.

Second: Ask yourself this question: why do you wanna please people so badly? Try reflecting on that and post it here.


Agreed. Try apathy. Not caring can do wonders for improving your self esteem. You realize that you don't need to please and don't really care what they think.

doesn't that lead to narcissism, or at least self-centered behavior?

I mean I think you can still care about criticisms, but learn not to take it so emotionally damaging, filter out the nonsensical ones with helpful ones, translate them differently in your head.

Once you play starcraft, everything else in life seems alot easier.
Zanric
Profile Joined July 2007
United States66 Posts
November 18 2009 12:27 GMT
#8
If personality can define your general attitude towards things then changing your attitude can overall change your personality. You have to be fake for a bit to convince yourself to change into the image you show people so it becomes more natural.
Dr.Lettuce
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
United Kingdom663 Posts
November 18 2009 12:49 GMT
#9
Yes people can change, I used to be such a cocky arrogant kid, and over the years I realized it pissed people off and for good reason, I slowly worked not on being arrogant ( I still am to an extent) But I now just don't always say exactly what I'm thinking. Sometimes I just shut my mouth instead of getting in to a debate. Maybe you can't change, but you can act differently and with time I've definitely become less arrogant and opinionated. Don't expect anything over night though, it can take years for the effects to really work, and it can take even longer for other people to notice.
YPang
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
United States4024 Posts
November 18 2009 13:08 GMT
#10
try some self-hypnosis programs, i've actually used a bit of them for a certain ammount of time, and i can say that it does actually work if you want it to work. And it has helped me tremendously.
sMi.Gladstone | BW: B high| SC2: gold T_T
meeple
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
Canada10211 Posts
November 18 2009 13:10 GMT
#11
On November 18 2009 21:16 druj wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 18 2009 21:13 meeple wrote:
On November 18 2009 21:09 Xeofreestyler wrote:
I replied begging to do it but she hasn't replied.

First of all: Dont you ever fucking send a text like that again. You do NOT beg people to do stuff for them. This should be common sense.
If anything they should be begging you to do the favor for them, really.

Second: Ask yourself this question: why do you wanna please people so badly? Try reflecting on that and post it here.


Agreed. Try apathy. Not caring can do wonders for improving your self esteem. You realize that you don't need to please and don't really care what they think.

doesn't that lead to narcissism, or at least self-centered behavior?

I mean I think you can still care about criticisms, but learn not to take it so emotionally damaging, filter out the nonsensical ones with helpful ones, translate them differently in your head.



Yes, if taken to the extreme. I'm not saying don't have any compassion or thoughts for other people, I should correct myself by saying you should care less about what other people thing. Trying to please others all the times eventually means that you're unhappy, since you pleased everyone but yourself.
MisteR
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Netherlands595 Posts
November 18 2009 13:12 GMT
#12
Personality can not be changed. Self-esteem, however, can. Work on your confidence, as much as you can, and you'll find that all your other traits will start to become helpful, instead of a burden. Be careful however that overconfidence should not be accepted as the status quo. In a normal situation you should be confident. In unusual situations you should either be unconfident or overconfident, but, like a river flowing to the sea, or a thrown stone falling back to the earth, you should always return to the normal state of confidence.

It is important to recognize that some people, and some activities, raise your self-esteem, while others lower it. When feeling weak, find the people or the things that help you get stronger. When feeling overconfident, obviously, the ones that bring you down to earth will have value then. Like an eagle flying through the sky, you will have to find the right currents to get where you want to be.

Begging is an activity that lowers your self-esteem. If you feel you've got a low self-esteem, don't beg. Doing someone a favor is a confidence raiser. But accepting that it is not necessary is one too. You see were you've gone wrong? You should've accepted the message with grace, assuring you would've loved to do the favor but be pleased none the same that it is not necessary. By doing so, you would've raised your self-esteem, and raised the trust those two girls have in you. Like a djinnie, you will perform only those wishes that are made, and those that should be granted. Doing any less, or more, will go against your very being.

My own experience in the matter is this, that while a low self-esteem is a burden, it is only temporary. While many people regard a low self-confidence to be bad for yourself, I have found otherwise. It is healthy to be unsure when the situation calls for that. I find for myself the things in which I have confidence, and the people with whom I feel good, and I'll seek them out when I need them. I've learned to see it as a need for change, rather than a problem, or a bad thing. Have you ever read Dune, the science fiction novel by Frank Herbert? If so, you'll know of the golden road that Muad'dib and Leto the god-emperor follow to ensure the survival of mankind. Though we are only one man a piece, we all have our own golden road to follow. It is the knowledge of what is good and what is bad, that should be your guide along the way to prosperity.
Nal_Ra/Much/Horang2/Flying fighting!~
economist_
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Vietnam719 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-11-18 13:20:02
November 18 2009 13:18 GMT
#13
Trying to please people is actually very difficult. You might realize it now when you deal with girls and you find it more apparent later when you become a boss/leader, especially in our culture.

Its not bad that you care so much about people. I personally think that is very good that you inherit such good trait from your parents. You dont have to change. Its just that sometimes you shouldnt think too much about this, just keep telling to yourself that you did your best and its not your intention that is misunderstood, its your action that has been misunderstood and then try to think about acting better later on. You shouldnt feel ashamed if you really care about people, you feel it when you care about yourself only by doing something damaging to people. Thats common sense
Economics forecast assumes everything, except responsibilities
vnlegend
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
United States1389 Posts
November 18 2009 13:33 GMT
#14
I personally think personality can change, especially if you're young. People tend to stabilize into a personality in their late 20's or something.

The strongest catalyst to change is motivation. Another is your environment and the people you hang around with.

Let's say that you're a nerdy guy. Start hanging around with people who are more outgoing and do what they do. You have to be open-minded to do this. If you approach it from the angle of "I already know I don't like this so I won't try it" then it's not gonna work.

Girls can also improve your life. Just look at Stork. Except for the diet thing (which is probably an asian thing for guys to be skinny), he's become more active and sociable. A good motivation for you could be to improve yourself somehow (get rid of a bad habit, pick up a good one, etc) to impress a girl.

I wish I learned this earlier but part of growing up is to figure out who you are. For things like careers, we have certain natural talents that you have to try things to discover what they are. For other things like relationships, you could be the un-attached casual dating kind of guy or somebody who's really intense and prefer long-term serious relationships.

It's important to try things out, figure who you are, what you like to do, don't like, and what kind of things you could live with. Maybe you like money but can't live with being an assassin who makes loads of money, know what I mean?

Self-esteem is related to confidence, which is related to ability. Girls who are pretty, but have no abilities typically suffer from low self-esteem. Meanwhile I've met girls who are less attractive but are more competent in life (smarter, better career, personal life, etc) tend to have more confidence.

Try developing your abilities and become more competent in something. Even small successes will fuel your confidence and make you feel better. I call it ego management.
Marines > everything
Gunman_csz
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
United Arab Emirates492 Posts
November 18 2009 13:35 GMT
#15
I don't want to let you down, but I am taking psy course at my university. I am more the same way as you (low self esteem, can't say no to others), and I was wondering the same thing. So far what I have studied in psy literature and studies conducted I am not sure personality can be changed. Personality is more a genetic trait which you inherit.
Began Starcraft journey on 5th May 2009
Gunman_csz
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
United Arab Emirates492 Posts
November 18 2009 13:40 GMT
#16
One of the lectures where we were discussed the topic of nature vs nurture, the professor showed a case study (don't remember the exact name) where the experimenters wrote down personalities of 120 people in 1980s when they were adolescents, then 20years later the contacted the same people and guess what!!! they found out that people's personality remained the same. people who where introverted at 17 where also introverted at 37.
Began Starcraft journey on 5th May 2009
Garnet
Profile Blog Joined February 2006
Vietnam9016 Posts
November 18 2009 13:51 GMT
#17
On November 18 2009 21:09 Xeofreestyler wrote:
I replied begging to do it but she hasn't replied.

First of all: Dont you ever fucking send a text like that again. You do NOT beg people to do stuff for them. This should be common sense.
If anything they should be begging you to do the favor for them, really.

Second: Ask yourself this question: why do you wanna please people so badly? Try reflecting on that and post it here.

It's like a natural instinct.
village_idiot
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
2436 Posts
November 18 2009 14:01 GMT
#18
Play Sengoku Rance

It totally changed my personality. I used to be a weakling nerd, but now I get pussy left and right.
alffla
Profile Blog Joined November 2005
Hong Kong20321 Posts
November 18 2009 14:15 GMT
#19
lol natural instinct to please ppl wtf? o _o

well im sure u can change it.

i used to be kinda shy i guess...... actually i dunno if i've changed or not lol. well what i do know is i care less about things now, and im more motivated to do stuff i wanna achieve, and know how to plan and treasure my time better. and to be generally be more confident with people.
Graphicssavior[gm] : What is a “yawn” rape ;; Masumune - It was the year of the pig for those fucking defilers. Chill - A clinic you say? okum: SC without Korean yelling is like porn without sex. konamix: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY!
LastWish
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
2013 Posts
November 18 2009 14:24 GMT
#20
Psychology research tells that to completely change your personality you need minimum of one year and usually it takes no less than two. During this time all nuances of your old behaviour will be overriden by the new one.

It becomes very hard to change after you finish school...
The reason for this is the fact that you usually have most of the following stable : friends, job, girlfriend, place to live, hobbies...
So if you try to change you must change all of this too because the old things will most likely push you back.
That's why it's easier to change when you lose job or gf.

Your best hope is to move somewhere completely else (ever wanted to travel somewhere far?) and leave it all behind. Sounds cruel.

Hell I should do it too... however my pesonality lacks the ever precious initiative. You see my family has always supported me materially but never I had the psychological support. I was raised to do little to no risks with the attitude to act like a above-average polite kid.
This however does not suite my personality well and I have had troubles more than once due to that.
Well I guess I'm waiting for the opportunity.. and when it comes I won't be prepared well and probably screw it. Fucking cycle...

Oh, sorry this threat is about you, I hope you do well.
- It's all just treason - They bring me down with their lies - Don't know the reason - My life is fire and ice -
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