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So, you want to be a writer. You write stories, poems, short stories- whatever, and you give them to your friends or shitty writing group, and you receive their shitty feedback.
Well, I've got massive writing block right now, and can't write now. (Yeah, it's that bad. I'm resorting to shitty puns). Since I haven't contributed much to this website other than the occasional classic one-liner or flash fiction piece, I thought I would give back by reviewing the TL.Net's would-be writers.
You might be asking yourself what my credentials are. Don't concern yourself with that. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about. (Besides, my comments on your work are still subject to your own opinion: you can choose to follow them or not.)
Rules Of Submission:
•Your piece must be complete.
•Your piece must have thought put into it. I'm not reviewing casual work. I will be putting a lot of thought into the review.
•I reserve the right not to review all submissions. I anticipate receiving mostly worthwhile submissions, but I know I will get that one or two that is unreadable.
•PM me for my e-mail address. After you receive it, send me your work in the text body of the e-mail. I will not be opening attachments.
What You Get:
•One more person read your work.
•Solid and articulate writing advice, with an emphasis on style, word choice, concept expression. I'm not going to be plotting your novel, but I will offer suggestions on alternative events that will better help carry the story along.
•A PDF document of your work with my comments.
What I Hope To Get:
•Discover a new, talented writer.
•Get my writing mind turned on.
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Belgium9951 Posts
I'm not a writer, so I'll just sit in this thread and wait for the first Klazart joke to be made.
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Writer's block... I never get that. What's it like? All writing is just translation. Have you run out of things to translate?
I think writer's block is bs. It's an excuse used by people who just don't feel like opening up.
All this "I reserve the right" crap... More laziness. Maybe do something first before you say you will. Or at least have a better resume... like an example of your work, so if it's shit one don't waste his or her time writing to you.
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Wow, a guy on an internet message board will criticize what I wrote? I better hurry up, opportunities like this don't come a long too often.
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On October 17 2009 03:04 Chef wrote:
Writer's block... I never get that. What's it like? All writing is just translation. Have you run out of things to translate?
I think writer's block is bs. It's an excuse used by people who just don't feel like opening up.
All this "I reserve the right" crap... More laziness. Maybe do something first before you say you will. Or at least have a better resume... like an example of your work, so if it's shit one don't waste his or her time writing to you.
God, what a dreadful post. I mean it starts out seeming to be nice enough, then goes on to call writers block bs, then goes on to call the OP lazy and more than likely not to do what he's said based on nothing.
I think this is a great idea and a nice gesture.
P.S Writers block is very real >(
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On October 17 2009 03:04 Chef wrote:
Writer's block... I never get that. What's it like? All writing is just translation. Have you run out of things to translate?
I think writer's block is bs. It's an excuse used by people who just don't feel like opening up.
Are you a writer?
Writer's Block is simply a distinction between being able to write fluidly with little effort, and the alternate spending of hours on attempted writing but everything turns out like shit. In fact, i'd say the pieces i've spent the most time on are the ones i've thrown out, because i only spend that much time on something when i have Writer's Block.
It's the same with any art. Sometimes i can pick up a pencil and astound myself at what i've drawn, and other times i throw out a sketch that i've worked 4 hours on.
edit - well i looked at your blog and you're clearly creative/like to express yourself.
i can't believe you never get writer's block. i am so jealous. 
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On October 17 2009 03:11 Luddite wrote:
Wow, a guy on an internet message board will criticize what I wrote? I better hurry up, opportunities like this don't come a long too often.
My offer is one of thoughtful advice, not the pointless "internet" criticism of which your post is a great example.
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On October 17 2009 03:11 Luddite wrote:
Wow, a guy on an internet message board will criticize what I wrote? I better hurry up, opportunities like this don't come a long too often.
LOL
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hello, i'm a writer. i question your credentials
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On October 17 2009 03:29 A3iL3r0n wrote:Show nested quote +On October 17 2009 03:11 Luddite wrote:
Wow, a guy on an internet message board will criticize what I wrote? I better hurry up, opportunities like this don't come a long too often. My offer is one of thoughtful advice, not the pointless "internet" criticism of which your post is a great example.
i think you may be missing the point.
why should any of us think you are any more qualified to give critique than the any other random 'internet message board' poster?
I had already given you the benefit of the doubt, but surely you can understand why one might just think your offer is somewhat haughty and outright laughable?
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On October 17 2009 03:21 Mora wrote:Show nested quote +On October 17 2009 03:04 Chef wrote:
Writer's block... I never get that. What's it like? All writing is just translation. Have you run out of things to translate?
I think writer's block is bs. It's an excuse used by people who just don't feel like opening up.
Are you a writer? Writer's Block is simply a distinction between being able to write fluidly with little effort, and the alternate spending of hours on attempted writing but everything turns out like shit. In fact, i'd say the pieces i've spent the most time on are the ones i've thrown out, because i only spend that much time on something when i have Writer's Block. It's the same with any art. Sometimes i can pick up a pencil and astound myself at what i've drawn, and other times i throw out a sketch that i've worked 4 hours on.
I write a lot of random short stories, and I'm slowly working thru a novel. For me, the amount of time I put into something is proportional to how good it is. I spend hours and hours on every chapter I write, and I get exactly what I put in. I spend hours on work I write as a gift to a friend to make it something nice. I spend about 20 minutes on random StarCraft stories I post on TL and they're relatively crap (I think the only appeal is that they're in the StarCraft universe, tbh).
I don't know. I don't understand writers block. If you have something to say, just write it and perfect it. If you don't have something to say... Go experience life until you do. Of course if you don't have anything to talk about your writing is going to sound contrived and turn out shitty. But if you have something to write about... Which I think is where the phrase "writer's block" is used most... You get into the middle of an idea and you don't know where to go from there.... I don't understand how that happens. Maybe because I usually think out everything before I even start writing. But in my experience people who complain to me about writer's block typically just want an excuse.
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you're one of those people that give opinions without really thinking them out. you're just as pretentious as the OP and half as talented
On October 17 2009 03:33 Chef wrote:Show nested quote +On October 17 2009 03:21 Mora wrote:On October 17 2009 03:04 Chef wrote:
Writer's block... I never get that. What's it like? All writing is just translation. Have you run out of things to translate?
I think writer's block is bs. It's an excuse used by people who just don't feel like opening up.
Are you a writer? Writer's Block is simply a distinction between being able to write fluidly with little effort, and the alternate spending of hours on attempted writing but everything turns out like shit. In fact, i'd say the pieces i've spent the most time on are the ones i've thrown out, because i only spend that much time on something when i have Writer's Block. It's the same with any art. Sometimes i can pick up a pencil and astound myself at what i've drawn, and other times i throw out a sketch that i've worked 4 hours on. I write a lot of random short stories, and I'm slowly working thru a novel. For me, the amount of time I put into something is proportional to how good it is. I spend hours and hours on every chapter I write, and I get exactly what I put in. I spend hours on work I write as a gift to a friend to make it something nice. I spend about 20 minutes on random StarCraft stories I post on TL and they're relatively crap (I think the only appeal is that they're in the StarCraft universe, tbh). I don't know. I don't understand writers block. If you have something to say, just write it and perfect it. If you don't have something to say... Go experience life until you do. Of course if you don't have anything to talk about your writing is going to sound contrived and turn out shitty. But if you have something to write about... Which I think is where the phrase "writer's block" is used most... You get into the middle of an idea and you don't know where to go from there.... I don't understand how that happens. Maybe because I usually think out everything before I even start writing. But in my experience people who complain to me about writer's block typically just want an excuse.
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On October 17 2009 03:33 Mora wrote:Show nested quote +On October 17 2009 03:29 A3iL3r0n wrote:On October 17 2009 03:11 Luddite wrote:
Wow, a guy on an internet message board will criticize what I wrote? I better hurry up, opportunities like this don't come a long too often. My offer is one of thoughtful advice, not the pointless "internet" criticism of which your post is a great example. i think you may be missing the point. why should any of us think you are any more qualified to give critique than the any other random 'internet message board' poster? I had already given you the benefit of the doubt, but surely you can understand why one might just think your offer is somewhat haughty and outright laughable?
Sure. All valid points.
However, what does one put at risk by sending me something to review? The offer is for me to do all of the work. One can use my comments or discard them.
Further, I don't see anyone else offering to read other people's work constructively. Sure, one can post his/her own work in a blog, but that rarely generates helpful responses.
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I guess everyone thought they would be getting "more" out of the title. It's almost like making a thread about about sc. Ex "So you want to be a progamer?" but in reality it's a C- guy on iccup who is willing to review you're replay and tell you what you did wrong. Lol
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I'm pretty sure writer's block is real and that it has ended a few careers.
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Self-fulfilled prophecies. THERE IS NO MORE TO WRITE ABOUT! ahahhaha.
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On October 17 2009 03:53 Chef wrote:
Self-fulfilled prophecies. THERE IS NO MORE TO WRITE ABOUT! ahahhaha.
hahaha
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"Well-known writers who have suffered from block include George Gissing, Samuel Coleridge, Ralph Ellison, Joseph Mitchell and F. Scott Fitzgerald. Writers who overcame block and published new work after a hiatus of decades include Harold Brodkey, whose novel The Runaway Soul appeared some 30 years after it was first projected, and Henry Roth, whose first novel, Call It Sleep, was published in 1934; his second, Mercy Of A Rude Stream, did not appear until 1994."
Clearly all those fools were just making excuses, or hadn't "experienced life" enough.
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On October 17 2009 03:41 A3iL3r0n wrote:Show nested quote +On October 17 2009 03:33 Mora wrote:On October 17 2009 03:29 A3iL3r0n wrote:On October 17 2009 03:11 Luddite wrote:
Wow, a guy on an internet message board will criticize what I wrote? I better hurry up, opportunities like this don't come a long too often. My offer is one of thoughtful advice, not the pointless "internet" criticism of which your post is a great example. i think you may be missing the point. why should any of us think you are any more qualified to give critique than the any other random 'internet message board' poster? I had already given you the benefit of the doubt, but surely you can understand why one might just think your offer is somewhat haughty and outright laughable? Sure. All valid points. However, what does one put at risk by sending me something to review? The offer is for me to do all of the work. One can use my comments or discard them. Further, I don't see anyone else offering to read other people's work constructively. Sure, one can post his/her own work in a blog, but that rarely generates helpful responses.
i came to the same conclusion which is why i gave you the benefit of the doubt.
After reading your previous blog posts, it was clear that i'd be wasting your time. I like to express myself but i would be audacious in calling myself a writer. I'd be delusional to call what i do 'writing'.
I hope someone takes up your offer (presuming that the writing and the critique get posted here on tl.net)
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Canada9720 Posts
any aspiring writer's "shitty" writing group would include published authors, and undergrad students already accepted into MFA programs (if the workshop was at all worth its time). do you boast either of those qualifications?
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EPT
