Just started college few days ago. I have to say this is so much better than highschool, study with people of your level, everyone is friendly etc... So there are 5 boys and 14 girls in my class, and there is this girl that caught my attention. I don't know if she has any feelings for me, but there always seem to be something going on between us, even thought we've just barely had two very short conversation.
Some "exprienced" people told me dating a classmate is not a good idea, because if you break up it will be really awkward having to see each other everyday. I've never been in a serious relationship before, so I have 0 exp in this. Help!
Edit: This is probably the reply that best describe my situation:
On September 22 2009 21:50 Integra wrote: Don't date her. Girls are really flexible when it comes to social situations and they don't really worry that much about it. However with that said we also have you, and after what you typed it's obvious you won't be able to coop with that kind of situation, in fact It wouldn't surprise me if you are so terrified of that particular outcome that you would worry and think so much about it that the outcome would be the only viable one since it's the the most dominant "reality" that is perceived by you.
In short, NO, don't date her, you will only fuck it up anyway since you have no confidence in yourself.
I don't know if she has any feelings for me, but there always seem to be something going on between us, even thought we've just barely had two very short conversation.
"always" ?
It's not always akward to see your ex everyday. I broke up with my ex after 3 years of being together, and we both are in a new relationships now, but we are still very good friends with each other. It's akward to see some other ex-girlfriends tho, and my present gf is a bit jealous becouse I'm still in contact my ex.
If you really like her, then why not. go ahead and see what happens. You both propably have lots of different courses where you don't see each other so it shouldn't be that akward.
Don't. Trust me. If you do happen to break up or have a big fight, I promise you, the next day at school is gonna be awkard as fuck. I've fallen into that trap 2 times now. Since you're in college, there should be plenty of other chicks to go around with Sleeping with her or making out once or twice, is not that bad. But the relationsship part is gonna kill you.
/ Hippie
Edit: So, 2 completely different opinions right off the bat ^^ GL buddy
Hang out with her and get to know her better before you ask her out.
Honestly dating her wouldn't be as bad as people make it out to be as long as you're mature enough to maintain some space between the two of you during class and if you end up going to the same study groups and the like. Just take things slowly.
So what if it would be awkward after a break-up? No reason not to try it out. Either it works out or you will go through some awkward period but come out an experience richer, that's how you grow.
Shouldn't let a classroom limit who you want to be with. Ideally the relationship would last longer than the class anyways right? so even if it did end bad hopefully you wouldn't be in the same class. Though I've never understood why that would be awkward unless you dump her ass while she's still madly in love or something.
Isn't really a problem with dating a classmate, but talk to her a bit more before you decide you wanna go out with her. I doubt two very short conversations are much to go by...
I wouldnt let others put you off. Ive dated a girl from my 1st year law class for 3 years now - and we couldnt be happy. The law faculty is very insular, and there have been some messy couple breakups before within the small community, and while it has been akward for all of their friends, people will get over it.
If you plan on an actual relationship with the girl, it isnt necessarily bad thing, as long as you treat her well - be aware that dating someone so early into college life means that any friends you make will be made as part of a couple - just be weary of that.
If all you want is some action, as others have said, hit up the rest of the community.
On September 22 2009 20:09 rA.Hippie wrote: Don't. Trust me. If you do happen to break up or have a big fight, I promise you, the next day at school is gonna be awkard as fuck. I've fallen into that trap 2 times now.
Dude your relationships must have really sucked if a few days of awkwardness outweigh the hole relationship.
I tried that once. We didn't get in a relationship but were dating regularly. And then for some reason we just stopped. And then the next semester just sucked, couldn't concentrate at all in that class, and didn't learn a damn thing. Mind was elsewhere!
On September 22 2009 19:55 Garnet wrote: Just started college few days ago. I have to say this is so much better than highschool, study with people of your level, everyone is friendly etc... So there are 5 boys and 14 girls in my class, and there is this girl that caught my attention. I don't know if she has any feelings for me, but there always seem to be something going on between us, even thought we've just barely had two very short conversation.
Some "exprienced" people told me dating a classmate is not a good idea, because if you break up it will be really awkward having to see each other everyday. I've never been in a serious relationship before, so I have 0 exp in this. Help!
Don't date her. Girls are really flexible when it comes to social situations and they don't really worry that much about it. However with that said we also have you, and after what you typed it's obvious you won't be able to coop with that kind of situation, in fact It wouldn't surprise me if you are so terrified of that particular outcome that you would worry and think so much about it that the outcome would be the only viable one since it's the the most dominant "reality" that is perceived by you.
In short, NO, don't date her, you will only fuck it up anyway since you have no confidence in yourself.
On September 22 2009 19:55 Garnet wrote: Just started college few days ago. I have to say this is so much better than highschool, study with people of your level, everyone is friendly etc... So there are 5 boys and 14 girls in my class, and there is this girl that caught my attention. I don't know if she has any feelings for me, but there always seem to be something going on between us, even thought we've just barely had two very short conversation.
Some "exprienced" people told me dating a classmate is not a good idea, because if you break up it will be really awkward having to see each other everyday. I've never been in a serious relationship before, so I have 0 exp in this. Help!
Don't date her. Girls are really flexible when it comes to social situations and they don't really worry that much about it. However with that said we also have you, and after what you typed it's obvious you won't be able to coop with that kind of situation, in fact It wouldn't surprise me if you are so terrified of that particular outcome that you would worry and think so much about it that the outcome would be the only viable one since it's the the most dominant "reality" that is perceived by you.
In short, NO, don't date her, you will only fuck it up anyway since you have no confidence in yourself.
On September 22 2009 21:50 251 wrote: I tried that once. We didn't get in a relationship but were dating regularly. And then for some reason we just stopped. And then the next semester just sucked, couldn't concentrate at all in that class, and didn't learn a damn thing. Mind was elsewhere!
It really saddens me when you can be dating someone without being in a relationship with them. Were you friends with benefits... without being friends? What sort of non-relationship did you have?
this is college, not highschool, that class you're taking last a semester, thats not that big of a deal, id say go for it, worst case u see her like once or twice a week for what, 3 months? lol
you guys saying class will be awkard if they breakup (ROFL?) are fuckin pansies who gives a shit, it's just a 50 minute lecture, not like the whole class sits in the park for recess gossiping afterwards LMAO just go for it
Yeah just go for it. If things don't work out, don't be like the stereotypical Asian dude on TL who pines for years over some girl he made out with once, just get over it and move on.
I dunno, I wouldnt say its the best idea but If you really like her (ie if she really likes you) and you think its worth it, maybe.
I do know I dated a girl in highschool, and we picked pretty much all the same classes together all year, then we broke up by xmas, so until july i had to be in class with her pretty much from 8-4, it was painful, cause she wanted me back and would try sitting near me and stuff which would just make it worse haha ugh.
but in college, my class had about 20 guys and 10 girls, and every girl but one in the class hooked up with another guy from the class. It was.. insane. Some had some interesting breakups/instances which made things awkward in class for them but hah it was just weird IMO
What is wrong with people on the internet? So what if she is in the same class. Half of all marriages result from people who met at work/school. They have built in conversation, and the class will be over in a few months, anyways. The only reason you wouldn't date a classmate is if you have tons of other options, and if you are as nerdy as you sound, you don't. So just go for it.
On September 22 2009 23:02 CTStalker wrote: you guys saying class will be awkard if they breakup (ROFL?) are fuckin pansies who gives a shit, it's just a 50 minute lecture, not like the whole class sits in the park for recess gossiping afterwards LMAO just go for it
My ex g/f studied with me in the same class at university (90 minutes lecture) few hours daily, everday. We broke up after over 3 years and trust me, that was the worst time in my life so far and it made me switching universitites. But that's just me. I feel perfectly fine now.
Just do it or you'll regret it. Not having her in a class later makes it harder to get to know her if you don't start now anyways. You're in college, so know the difference between meeting in class and meeting outside of class and it should be ok.
If you aim for study results, I suggest you concentrate on that. If you want experience (positive/negative) with dating or a relationship, go ahead. It surprises me "awkwardness" is even listed among the things some guys here care about. Who gives a fuck about that?
"Don't tell your problems to people: 80% don't care; and the other 20% are glad you have them."
I think you should go for it. It doesn't have to be awkward if you break up with her. Me and my ex was classmates for five years after we broke up, was nothing awkward with that. We are actually very close friends now.
Dating a classmate isn't so bad... the worse thing is dating a dormmate/hallmate.. actually a lot of relationships start from meeting each other in classes =p
See, this is the kind of mindset that WILL get you out of any relationship you get into real quick. Why would you want to be thinking that you're going to "break up with her?" it should be more like "I'll never let her go!" that is, if you truly love her and want something beyond just sex.
If you just want to get laid, then don't go for it.
If she is in the same program as you, you may be in for some trouble. You both will be working your way to the same goal, on the same path, and if things go bad, you're going to be dealing with it for a long time.
However, if she is in a different program, and you only have a couple of classes that intertwine over the first year or two, you should be fine. After the first 2 years, your programs will diverge enough where you won't have any similar classes.
Hmmm..... Now that I think of it - there is that one sexy blond in my one class. And in a different program..... And we've already spent a lot of time working together..... And she's already spent a lot of time at my place, and me at hers.....
As you grow older you will regret the things you didn't do, rather the things you did. And do remember (as one other mentioned), the friends you are gonna meet early in college will be friends of the couple. Cause you clearly stressed that you are inexperienced in these matters, i really doubt you can maneuver your gf from friends or things you would like to be your own.
bah fuck this. its not akward to be forced to see ur ex-gf after you broke up with her .
why should it be akward? If you have no feelings towards here anymore, you won't care if you see her or not.
the only bad thing would be if you love her but she breaks up with you. then ur pretty much fucked up for a while but you will get over that too in some weeks.
Do it. I definitely should have taken more chances in college with classmates with the mentality of some of our fellow posters here and it did not turn out for the best.
I don't think you should let her being your classmate stop you if there really is some chemistry going on. Generally if you're not sure if you should or shouldn't do something, do it imo.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Your relationship will be over in a week, and then you'll be awkwardly staring at her from across the room for the rest of the semester. You know how long semesters are? I'm a sophomore and I'm still in my first semester of Comp Sci. Forming a relationship forms a psychic bond between you and your S.O that once broken, can never be mended. If her hate for you is strong enough, she could give you a nosebleed just by glaring at you hard enough. Your life will be ruined by your terrible decision, and nobody at your school will even consider dating you. The teacher for that section will fail you for making such a stupid life choice, and your other grades will follow as you sink into a spiraling depression. Soon your health will deteriorate and your body will contract disease after debilitating disease until finally, in a drunken stupor, your mind clouded by all the drugs you have turned to, you throw yourself off the roof of the chem building.
On September 22 2009 20:09 rA.Hippie wrote: Don't. Trust me. If you do happen to break up or have a big fight, I promise you, the next day at school is gonna be awkard as fuck. I've fallen into that trap 2 times now.
Dude your relationships must have really sucked if a few days of awkwardness outweigh the hole relationship.
On September 22 2009 19:55 Garnet wrote: Just started college few days ago. I have to say this is so much better than highschool, study with people of your level, everyone is friendly etc... So there are 5 boys and 14 girls in my class, and there is this girl that caught my attention. I don't know if she has any feelings for me, but there always seem to be something going on between us, even thought we've just barely had two very short conversation.
Some "exprienced" people told me dating a classmate is not a good idea, because if you break up it will be really awkward having to see each other everyday. I've never been in a serious relationship before, so I have 0 exp in this. Help!
Edit: This is probably the reply that best describe my situation:
On September 22 2009 21:50 Integra wrote: Don't date her. Girls are really flexible when it comes to social situations and they don't really worry that much about it. However with that said we also have you, and after what you typed it's obvious you won't be able to coop with that kind of situation, in fact It wouldn't surprise me if you are so terrified of that particular outcome that you would worry and think so much about it that the outcome would be the only viable one since it's the the most dominant "reality" that is perceived by you.
In short, NO, don't date her, you will only fuck it up anyway since you have no confidence in yourself.
I disagree, half the point of college is life experience. Just go for it, if you fuck up and have an awkward situation, deal with it. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.
if its really awkward to see her everyday in class etc, get to know her throughout the year, then get serious when school's about to end. then next year, bingo, you two are together, and not always in class together.
Quit being a pussy and go for it. Who cares if doesn't work out at least you know you tried. You need a lot more interaction with her though and more conversations.
I just switched unis and i have classes with a ex-girlfriend, i ditched so bad. And she broke her first 2 year relationship for me (i thought of the whole thing as summer adventure, she thought i was the men of her life, typical). Anyway, we said hello to each other, and she was like fishing for my attention on breaks. In my experience it wasn't stupid (sharing class with ex-gf), just i can't see myself opening up to her, anytime soon.
If you're worried about this (as it's been said) then no, don't bother. Also... there's something there after 2 conversations? Probably not what you think.
EPT
