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On December 03 2010 16:04 KezseN wrote: The same Intrigue that opened the SFW picture thread??
LOL you must be newish here
Yeah, it's the same mod. Afaik, intrigue's a boy, but people just like to crack jokes about him being a girl lolol
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a woman sat on your lap and you did nothing.
>.< friend zoned but make a move anyway, preferably when she has some liquor in her (less inhibitions)
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On December 03 2010 14:48 zenMaster wrote: Non-virgin only means she is experienced, therefore better sex.
Why are all men obsessed with being the "1st". Just means you're getting awkward inexperienced sex partner. I for one prefer a woman that knows what she is doing.
Not that I would turn down a virgin obviously. the concept of corrupting a young girl and turning her into a nympho is the appeal of the virgin.
realistically, id rather have a slut any time. unless the virgin is on the pill and therefore woo no condom. always condom with slut
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
definitely not friend zoned
but if you really want her you gotta boldly commit and take it by the reins
you might fail, but w/e
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hi, just want to clear up a myth about the whole "friend zone" thing. it's really just a nice way to say "sorry, you're too ugly/fat/socially awkward for me to date". if you dated this girl in the past, you are definitely not.
and yes, i am a girl.
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a, Move on b, than ask here out c, ?????? d, profit
I think you cant lost anything you are really good friends so why not go out together and see what happens. in worst case you will stay as good friends in better case you will be together. and if 100 km count as long distance relation ship, Yes it works have no idea about 1k km relation ship but it will be hard i think.
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Yeah, what Kimmay said. "You slept in the same bed but didn't have sex, that means friend zone" is just really, really dumb. Some relationships go slow, some don't. But you don't lose out by taking things slow, you lose out by offering nothing that wouldn't also be given to a friend.
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if you guys were living closer together, you would prolly still be together, but since its such a long distance relationship, you're denying the fact that you and her still isnt able to move on. unfortunately, if you want to get over her, you might limit your time with her even more, get out of your dorm, go meet some new people, new contacts may lead to a new future gf.
as it is now, ill bet you guys will start a relationship again when its possible, like: finisihng your grade, moving closer to her or vice versa
best of luck to you mate!
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almost 5 hours and still no baller post...
on a serious note, in my opinion: if you haven't find another girl you like nearly as much.. go for it. long distance or not (I haven't "really" done long distance so I can't tell you how horrible it is whilst actually knowing what I'm talking about)
gl
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just because she didnt sleep with u or didnt make a move doesnt mean she doesnt still like your company anymore. its interesting how most people here on tl and especially in the numerous girl problem blogs adhere to certain notions about relationships between men and women. my guess is that a lot of the bloggers and posters are of a younger age (hell when i was 16-19 i would do the same thing on, on other forums tho) for most of you it seems there are no shades of grey in between being with one person and not being with him/her.
remember that both of you used to be very close (in fact as close as it might get i imagine) and therefore shared a special bond and affection towards each other that isnt simply undone by both of you separating and moving to places thousand of miles apart. especially given the fact that your breakup was so clean and mutual and happened out of reason rather than some other....uh...reason( meaning none of the usual stuff like: weve grown apart, i found a new person and so on). so its only natural for her/you to still have feelings towards each other. when i think of my former girlfriends it is always on a positive note and in fact i miss some of them, even tho its been many years since we broke up. im still in contact with some of them but he majority i have no contact to whatsoever. still im very fond of them.
ok turning to your questions which you opened up to the TL community and their vast experience with girls :-P :
not to sound like an ass ( really do apologize if i do ) but judging from the questions and the whole way you went on about the whole thing (like her not having slept with some other guy) i imagine you to be maybe 19-20ish? and she was probably your first girlfriend? plus youre not exactly a ladykiller? which doesnt say anythign bad about you but youre probably not one who really goes on a prowl on saturday nights but are rather just a normal guy? which is all fine and dandy. in my opinion tho guys like this tend to glorify relationships maybe due to the lack of experience and the lingering remains of puberty. its really how you approach relationships between men and women in the first place. what the night she spent with you was about? well the way i see it she still likes you a lot and was of course happy to spend time with you ( probably all cuddled up together amitite ?:-D ) and maybe you could ask her to commit and get back together again. but do you want that ? remember the reason you broke up in the first place. youre probably putting more into this than there actually is. if she says you two are not in a relationship then thats just the way it is. just because youre suddenly very close again doesnt mean shes intent on getting back together.
what it all boils down to is that you spent a night together in which both of you felt comfortable enough to cuddle a little bit and reminisce about old times, probably taking your memories back to times when things were simpler and you were together. im sure both of you were very fond of that time. in addition she might have just felt the need for a little closure and you are someone she trusts and has good experience with. so dont beat yourself up over it, just take it for what it was and get on with your life and maybe find another gal if u feel the need to.
*add* : i knwo things in the states are a little different especially due to the fact that shes so far away but nothings holding you back from maybe repeating the experience of having her sleep with you ( i mean it the way you meant it) and sharing some intimate time again. if youre still good friends and trust each other enouhg to repeat this then go ahead and do it. if you like spending time with her and are ready to accept the fact that relationship/ dating doesnt mean you have to be a picture-perfect couple with all the stuff that comes along with it ( exclusivity, sex and so on) then by all means tell her youd be happy if she came and visited you again.
haha on a side note this makes me wonder how the ex-girlfriends i still talk to felt about me still keeping in touch with them :-P
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White, possibly gay
also, she has definitely slept around. it's college. Every girl's a virgin until she's they've drunkenly slept over your place.
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On December 03 2010 13:58 triangle wrote: So the next morning rolls around, and when I get back to my house I come to my senses and wonder wtf that was all about. I'm totally clueless about relationships/interacting with people, so I decide to be straight with her and ask what our relationship status is anyway. She says we are not together. She really likes me, but having this relationship just won't work.
At the time, I felt this was a pretty reasonable assessment. After all, we had hardly talked in months, which seemed to confirm my suspicion that without seeing each other every day in school, our bad communication would doom any possible relationship.
This was your mistake, I think. Like Rekrul says, you gotta take the reins on this one. Girls love a guy with passion and conviction -- qualities of a leader. So you gotta assess the situation well, find the right spot and time to tell her how you feel and where you want the relationship to go. Asking her what your relationship status shows uncertainty, indecision, not knowing what you want... girls want commitment man! So either you go all in or you don't =P
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It must be fucking awful being a woman and being completely unable to have a friendship with a guy without them secretly wanting to fuck you. At least, that's what reading TeamLiquid blogs section would have you believe.
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Follow your heart! If you want to chase this girl, make a long distance relationship work, go into it full-hearted, no half assing. If she really does like you she would want to be with you, and long distance can work. It works all the time, if both people are committed enough. Be confident, tell her what you want. Otherwise, it's perpetual, awkward, we-could've-tried-but-chose-not-to friend zone.
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lmao why is everyone here so focused on the "had sex / is virgin" argument? More important part is whether he has a chance of a real relationship with the girl or not.
On December 04 2010 01:49 faction123 wrote: It must be fucking awful being a woman and being completely unable to have a friendship with a guy without them secretly wanting to fuck you. At least, that's what reading TeamLiquid blogs section would have you believe.
lolololol
ANYWAYS
Based on my first impression of the situation, yes I think you have a decent chance at getting into a committed, long-distance relationship with the girl. Regular communication over skype/phone and meeting in-person every month or two, I have a couple friends who are doing this and have been doing this for the past few years. It all depends how dedicated the couple is to each other (and how much mutual trust there is) but it's definitely possible.
Good luck!
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Yeah, you have a very good shot at this.
You need to make a grand gesture because seeing how you're socially awkward by your own statement there's no way of making her think "wow, he's really changed" unless you make it grand. Find out something she feels strongly about, like maybe animal rights, and go for it. Free some ferrets or join Whale Wars and make a heartfelt statement about her on TV.
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On December 04 2010 04:43 Thrill wrote: Yeah, you have a very good shot at this.
You need to make a grand gesture because seeing how you're socially awkward by your own statement there's no way of making her think "wow, he's really changed" unless you make it grand. Find out something she feels strongly about, like maybe animal rights, and go for it. Free some ferrets or join Whale Wars and make a heartfelt statement about her on TV.
Or you could, you know, ask her out.
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On December 04 2010 01:49 faction123 wrote: It must be fucking awful being a woman and being completely unable to have a friendship with a guy without them secretly wanting to fuck you. At least, that's what reading TeamLiquid blogs section would have you believe.
this. and people wonder why i have no friends.
back on topic, it sounds like she's as unsure as you are. she likes you, but knows long distance relationships are hard work. just talk to her, and tell her you want to try. either she says yes and you'll be dating again, or she says no and you're not much worse off than if you hadn't talked.
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On December 03 2010 18:47 onlinerobbe wrote: almost 5 hours and still no baller post...
on a serious note, in my opinion: if you haven't find another girl you like nearly as much.. go for it. long distance or not (I haven't "really" done long distance so I can't tell you how horrible it is whilst actually knowing what I'm talking about)
gl
check the ban thread
+ Show Spoiler +
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i have close female friends too
they don't sit in my lap for 5 hours though
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