The Automated Ban List - Page 2740

On May 14 2016 16:20 toplel wrote:
Meavis, you're playing this all wrong dude. Just pretend to stream as a cute girl, make a Twitter, and you'll be welcomed into the mapmaking and starcraft 2 community with loving arms by Pengwin. Perhaps you could call yourself "SeagullSC2".

First he'll casually pop in to your stream chat, maybe donate a few bucks here and there, and perhaps some very light flirting and casual MLP references will be exchanged light-heartedly.

Then he might start to interact with you on social media, maybe a few retweets here and there, and some casual interaction in your mentions. Free retweets for your stream link! "Thanks for the publicity man!!" You'll start to feel noticed by an entrenched SC2 community member! Wow! You're moving up in the world! He's the "captain" of an sc2 team! Feels good, does it not?

Perhaps some more stream interaction and social interaction, maybe a few Reddit posts here and there to promote your brilliant stream, and then he will get your Skype! Wow! You're talking directly with Pengwin, what an honour! You talk with him about everyday casual stuff, and perhaps he name drops casually because he's just that badass. "Hey, y-you I took a map of Elroye in practice the other day". You're gobsmacked, starstruck at the fact you're talking to such a strong community figure that is so personable and humble.

At this point, you'd be sitting at 50 viewers still, needing a boost and some extra promotion. So your good friend Pengwin offers you a tournament out of his own pocket, because he's just such a nice guy, man. Obviously, your maps are absolutely brilliant by default because you have a vagina, so that's not an issue at all. The tournament gives you some exposure but its not enough.

Oh look! A LAN event that is conveniently situated, Pengwin will fly you out there, no problem. He'll fly out from Switzerland to anywhere in the world to promote you, your maps, and your stream dawg, no questions asked, he's just that nice of a guy, amigo. You meet him there and now you meet his highness, Pengwin himself, and potentially some other superstars such as Reynor and god-king Elroye. But, against all odds, you're not starstruck anymore. You're at a LAN event in StarCraft II, you've made it! Thanks to the good grace of Pengwin.

After a great day at LAN, you head up back to the hotel, ready for a good night of sleep. Pengwin knocks on your door at 1am, asking if you have any spare towels. You check if you have any, and he follows you in. Unfortunately you realise you have none left, upon turning around he the places your hand on his now very hard "towel rail" so to speak, and asks you to check there.

By now, you feel indebted to him. He has promoted your stream and you're really close to a sub button on Twitch, so you suck up your pride and go for it, unzipping him eagerly, visualising the cash money you'll make after this. He requests you make pony noises as you perform the fellatio, which you reluctantly agree to, and he brings out his Rainbow Dash mane and tail before it begins to get into character. After a few minutes of the act, he finishes and you rejoice in the foundations of your new career.

You thank him greatly, but he runs back to his bedroom to look for another hot young starlet to woo into another successful sc2 streaming and illustrious mapmaking career.