Trivial Rank: Top 5 Scarlett Hairstyles

Welcome to the Trivial Rank, the power rank for things that don’t actually matter.

We’ve seen plenty of great hair in professional StarCraft, ranging from MMA’s chic undercut to iNcontrol’s romance-novel-cover locks. However, only one progamer has sported so many different and distinct looks that they warrant their very own power rank.

Yup, it’s everyone’s favorite North American Zerg: Scarlett!

Here are the criteria I looked at for the rankings:

1. Personal bias

On to the rankings!

#5: The Original

Scarlett’s hair debuted in 2012 at IPL4, slightly straightened and in its natural color. There’s not much to say here—it’s an unremarkable, safe look. There's nothing wrong with it, but there’s nothing noteworthy about it either.

In this case, hair may reflect personality. We first came to know Scarlett as a shy teenager who was uncomfortable with being abruptly thrust into the spotlight. A reserved haircut matches her guarded demeanor during her early career. It’s also a solid reflection of her play style at the time, as yet another dull foreigner churned out of the patchzerg factory..

#4: The Seltzer

Scarlett’s play during the 2013 GSTL was lackluster, but there was nothing drab about the hairstyle she rocked at the tournament. Fans around the world were scrambling to pick up their jaws after seeing Scarlett’s frizzy, brown locks replaced by flowing, blond rivulets.

It’s one of Scarlett’s all-time most popular looks, and one that fans ask about even to this day.

Unfortunately, I can’t rank this any higher, because every picture of it also includes Scarlett wearing the absolutely hideous Acer hoodie.

#3: The “Holy S***, Taking Care of Hair is a Pain”

Despite its popularity, the blonde bombshell hairdo did not last long. Scarlett soon realized that regularly touching up your roots and straightening your hair is a huge hassle, and let her hair lapse back into general disarray.

Tied back in a loose ponytail, Scarlett’s hair was more expressive than Scarlett ever was in an interview. It silently screamed “just let me win some StarCraft games and get the hell out of here.”

There was one unintentional positive, at least, as the mixture of bleached blonde and natural brown gave Scarlett’s hair an interesting, textured look

In any case this style might have been lower on the rankings, but unlike the blonde look, there are actually pictures where Scarlett isn’t wearing a giant green garbage bag.

#2: The Natural

The best hair in the world is often the work of an artisan, a beautiful dream coaxed into reality by tools flourished in masterful hands.

However, there's just something inherently cool about someone rocking their natural hair with IDGAF swag, like Scarlett did at WCS Canada/NASL.

Maybe I’m reading into things too deeply, but when Scarlett walked into that tournament, she must have known that she was the heavy favorite to win, that her game was on another level from anyone in North America, and that no one else was going to command more cheers from the crowd. And in such an environment, even the most timid person in the world would have found confidence bubbling to the surface.

Yeah, I’m definitely reading into things too deeply.

Whatever the reality is, a ton of credit has to be given to the photographer, Kevin “Silverfire” Chang. While there are plenty of photos of Scarlett’s hair looking like a frazzled disaster, Silverfire manages to take that coif, frame it together with a thousand other elements, and turn it into a truly iconic shot.

#1: The Scarlett

Another picture - And another!

This is the look we’re all familiar with, the look that has replaced that awkward kid with the messy hair as our mental image of Scarlett. It's the “mature” Scarlett, the one that has come to terms with being one of the most famous progamers in Starcraft II.

Scarlett debuted this look at Red Bull Battlegrounds DC in 2014, giving the fans an even bigger shock than when she showed up to the GSTL a head of straightened, straw-blond hair. But unlike the GSTL, the games she played were even more flamboyant than her haircut, as she took out PartinG in a spectacular nail-biter on Sejong Station. Even though Scarlett was a player we had watched for over two years, it felt like a fabulous reintroduction.

One of the best parts of this look is simply the fact that it’s red. It’s delightful when someone’s ID matches up with their real-life persona, but it just doesn’t happen often. INnoVation is not particularly INnoVative, Neeb is not a truck, ShoWTimE rarely gives us a ShoW, and aLive may not actually exist. But when the player who calls herself “Scarlett” has a tinge of red in her hair… it’s the kind of thing that just forces you to smile.

Here’s how I imagine this haircut came to be: After barely surviving her brutal deathmatch with Bomber, Scarlett sat down and thought “wow this hair really got in the way.” Taking a fistful of unruly hair in her hands, Scarlett proceeded to hack it off with a dull knife. Looking at the half-gold, half-brown locks on the floor beneath her, Scarlett realized something was missing. She plunged her hands into Bomber’s heart, and ran her bloody fingers through her roughly hewn hair.

A tad dramatic, but you get the point. This look is as ferocious as it is chic.

Scarlett seems to agree that this is the best way to do her hair, as she’s maintained a variation of this style since 2014. Perhaps the future will bring another drastic change, but for now, I think we can all agree: it's pure, 100% fire.

---

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this Trivial Rank, make sure to check out the previous installation: ”The 14 Most Loathsome PatchZergs of All Time.”

You can follow me on Twitter at @SaintSnorlax and bother me for more Trivial Ranks in the future.

Thanks to @navneetr for being the chief follicle consultant on this article.