The Zesty Mississippi Race

by lichter

Welcome folks to another thrilling episode of the Wacky Races. The Dipsy Doodle Derby ended up just as expected, but our next race might have a few surprises! The Zesty Mississipi Race is going to be one of many twists, turns, and tumbles on the way to the finish line.



Up in slot number one is the Slag Brothers in the Boulder Mobile. The beefiest, toughest sunuvagun in the Wacky Races, the Boulder Mobile has been rolling the past few weeks. Even though the pair is a book easy to judge by its cover, the Slag is known as one of the smartest racers around. He doesn't just rely on muscle and beat-em-up tactics. His smooth movement and build adjustments astound as much as his biceps. This particular race might not be the Boulder Mobile's traditional favorite, but odds are he can figure out how to tackle the Zesty river with aplomb. It won't be long until he's back to Captain Caveman form, and everyone should be shaking in their boots as the season reaches its business end.



Right behind him is Professor Pat Pending in the Convert-a-Car. He has been a surprise contender in the last few races, and he even came in second place last season in the final tally. He doesn't quite have the raw power of a Boulder Mobile or the savvy of someone like Peter Perfect, but the Professor does have more than one trick up his sleeves. The Convert-a-Car can turn into anything that he needs at any time of day, be it a massive bulldozer or a flighty helicopter. His versatility is something very obvious, but Pat has one more surprising trait that's gotten him so far: tenacity. Say what you will about the nerdy driver but he knows how to survive! He might not be the ByuLtimate warrior, but he knows how to make minor adjustments and stay alive. When races drag on, he's one of the best racers when it comes to mounting unlikely comebacks.



That might not happen against a car like the Creepy Coupe, though. Manned by the Gruesome Twosome, this racer knows how to play dirty when the opportunity presents itself. We've seen him finish a playoff race in 30 minutes with devious early bursts, but we've also seen his plans backfire against similarly scrappy racers. Unfortunately, the Dark pair is so specialized in two types of races that he's basically forgotten the other race. The Boulder Mobile will likely be the Creepy Coupe's weakness in today's race, and he's got to hope that he somehow avoids the Slag Bros. on the way to the finish line. A mechanically strong racer, the Gruesome Twosome performs best in marathons as opposed to complex routes.



Last but not the least, and definitely with many eyes on her, is Penelope Pitstop in the Compact Pussycat. The charistmatic racer had a very rough patch during the start and middle of the year, but she's finally catching up on points over the past few weeks. It's difficult to say just what adjustments they've made to the Pussycat but it seems to be working. No longer is she just an online star, she's back to becoming a race contender. It's actually quite strange; it doesn't look like she's doing anything different, but drivers are falling left and right in her wake. Stunned by her beautiful builds, she could blindside today's race barring a Solar eclipse.



This has to be one of the closest races of the season, and we just don't know who's going to earn a spot in the playoffs. Will the big beefy Boulder barrel through? Will the Convert-a-Car outwit the other racers? How will the Gruesome Twosome's tricks fare? Or will Penelope Pitstop keep moseying past the pretenders? Find out on tonight's episode of the Wacky Races!



Predictions:

Zest only has one matchup to prepare for, but it happens to be the one that he's been vulnerable in. He's still really good at it, but all three zergs have very different styles that could trip him up the longer he has to play in this group. All three zergs are capable mirror match players, but Dark is perhaps the weakest against protoss at the moment. The group will likely be decided by a ZvZ, but Zest should be smart enough to find a way out of the Ro16.

ByuL > Zest
Dark < Solar
ByuL > Solar
Zest > Dark
Solar < Zest

ByuL and Zest to advance to the Round of 8.