The LiquidLegends Lounge - Page 1711

I was hoping Jaedong would show some good ol' zerg superiority but instead he got pretty thrashed. T_T

A riposting/point blank shot highwayman accompanied by a crusader, a plague doctor, and a vestal. The highway man just completely craps on the templars with riposting, you get so many free hits because of relevation (my crusader was the one without the item, because I intentionally try to get my crusaders to become virtuous). Felt kind of cheap, almost too easy.

I'm not super close with anyone here, but I need to vent somehow or i wont sleep at all tonight... so here goes.

Recently, my high school sweetheart and girlfriend of 6 years left me. I can't even tell you when thatwas, to be honest. Just feels like a blur. One week? Four weeks?
I'm not sure.

But I do l know my life just feels wrong. I don't know how to be alone. I don't know how to sleep by myself. I don't know how to take in the world. All I really know is I feel just... hollow. I feel like I'm watching myself in third person and it's not me. Whenever I turn a corner I expect her to be there with our dog Lexa. Nothing feels real except the mounting dread and uncertainty. I've felt like I had to throwup ever since. The life I built for us has been ripped to shreds. All the things I care about are gone.

Forgetting the emotional stuff completely, I'm now a fiscal wreck as well... I used to only be spending 60 of our combined income monthly but now I'm spending 95% of my own.
My expenses basically havnt changed but my I don't have her supplementary income. Due to market forces I can't even downsize, the markets fucking flooded right now due to everyone downsizing when oil crashed and now trying to re-upsize now that things have stabilized. If I sell right now basically I'd be stuck with 6+ months of payments and I'd still need a place to live on my own. I'm constantly just terrified of life worrying I'll lose all the physical stuff I've worked for, because it's all I have left.

I know I have a pretty strong support system that many people don't have and would kill for. But I can't help buy just feel battered and broken. I keep telling everyone I'm ok but I'm not. The only time I don't feel like I'm being crushed from all angles is when I'm inebriated and that scares the hell out of me. Worse yet, I don't even think anyone could help even if they knew.

Only place I still feel ok is the gym, been crushing PRs left and right but just still feels empty. Everything else is in so much chaos that I worry it effects my work, and that scares me ethically and fiscally. I feel like I'm barely holding on while being thrashed around in the waves and the only thing I can think about is the encircling sharks waiting to tear me to shreds.

A few years ago Something similar happened to me, HS sweetheart and GF of 5 years. break up, etc.
Didnt have the fiscal issues. we kept our finances separate as an agreement, But emotionally. I definitely have felt similar. What helped me was meeting new people, new friends. And i know its a little cliche, but it felt nice to meet other people that were mutually attracted to me to help feel like i had worth again. I went dancing even though i dont dance, I went drinking even though i prefer to sit at home with some whiskey. Exploring some things i normally don't do and meeting good folk along the way dragged me out of my depression and out of my loneliness and gave me confidence again.

I hope you find something that you enjoy and something you can do to help pull you out. IF you wanna throw a rant out somewhere, My PM box is available to you. <3

My advice is work on the finances until staying afloat isn't the only goal, and then work on you where you can.
Financial stresses are a nightmare. But Do your best to keep busy. it really does help. not right away. not immediately. but it helps release the agony.

So sorry to hear that man Hang in there.

Never done a facebook video but apparently they didn't put this on Youtube. Absolutely loved listening to this album during college.
https://www.facebook.com/Sherwood/videos/10154675858097155/

I've literally been in that exact place, down to the gym being the only place that felt safe/normal/whatever descriptor you want to attach(an escape). Looking back on it I'd do some things differently even if I think I came out ok. What I would say is you need to find more things like the gym, things with goals that are definite and attainable, find things to work towards to keep positive movement anywhere you can find it. You almost have to treat it like depression because for the short term even if it's not clinical that's where your mind is at.

Build yourself up. When you find negative shit seeping in try to remember those other goals/activities that are currently going well and think about them to get your mind positive about anything again. That attitude really truly does carry over to other aspects and help you perceive what choices you have better and more optimistically. If you have anyone close enough to ask, then find someone to help keep you pushed in that direction. Don't ask them to be overly sympathetic or whatnot, just like a sponsor of sorts that can step in and say hey, I know shit is rough but you have positives, remember that, and reinforce that you are capable of making good things happen so don't dwell on what can go wrong.

This doesn't mean ignore negatives completely and be irresponsible but it's about framing them as obstacles to overcome instead of walls with no door. You have shown an ability in your life to overcome obstacles, don't forget that, fight and do it again, and you absolutely will make it out the other end.

Everyone takes some time to collect themselves, don't beat yourself up over that part either.

If you're feeling that under at work, you certainly have some people you can talk to it about, without needing to go into details, and without them freaking out about you being a liability or something, don't you?
It sounds like you could use some feedback, as red said not the "feels good" kind, but just someone to help you see straight and not lose yourself to the impression that you'd unable to work properly when part of it is probably in your mind.
The way you talk about it reminds me a bit of my spiel 3-4 months ago when I freaked out about getting handed responsibilities and getting the whole thing delayed, afraid to be exposed as not skilled enough for the job. But with more tangible financial and material consequences for you.