Ok, Time for a semi-humorous Guide. Ever get really down? And I mean REALLY down. We all have at some point in our life. Depression, its a shitty deal.
Depression has no single cause; often, it results from a combination of things. Needless to say, Depression usually is a serious disorder, not funny at all.. I hope to change that!
What better way to start off curing Depression, but with LOL Cats relating to Starcraft.
Stage One: Clearing your mind
I find the best way to get out of that feeling of wanting to 4pool the world, is to just clear your mind of everything that sucks, and do something VERY distracting. I usually have two methods for doing this. Video games and Masturbation.
Starcraft is great for distracting your mind, especially if you get caught up in a really intense game on ICCUP vs those pesky Koreans, they will never let you have 2 seconds alone to think about how you want to off yourself like a scourge at an overlord birthday party. The key is making sure the game is very challenging for you, You can't be playing BGH or 3v3 Fastest 0clutter maps, because all the time spent sitting in your base, building up will give your mind time to wander, and thus leading you back to sadness.
Other videogames that you always have to think in also, often fast action paced games, will help you forget about the outside world for a few hours and let you cool down.
Stage Two: Buy something REALLY Weird
There is nothing better than buying something REALLY Weird or Expensive, just for the hell of it. I suggest finding the wackiest, craziest thing you can, and buy it. Mainly just to show off to your friends and make them think you are cool/retarded. Don't think about the affects it will have to your bank account, Your happiness is at stake!
Stage Three: Pick up a Fat Chick (not literally.. LOL)
Something that always cures depression (until the next morning).. Is going to a bar and picking up a fat chick. They are often lonely, easy to get and willing to do anything you want. Just make sure to tell them to meet you at a hotel, since you don't want to be seen with them in public. It's a fool-proof plan!
Stage Four: FOOD!
Part of Stage three is hoping the Fat chick would bring some food with her, but if that isn't the case, Go buy some yourself.
I think I can speak for at least some people, FOOD is the number one way to cure depression. The greasier, the better of course.
Heres a few recipes that will be sure to make you forget about losing that last OSL qualifier:
The "Bacon Weave" Wrap filled with Cheese : I forget where I read about this, but this dude took a pack of Bacon, weaved it together to form a platform of bacon, topped it with cheese and pan-fried it. Is this the greatest invention since Fantasy's Mech TvZ? Yes.
CHEESECAKE! - My favorite treat. Make sure you get "New York Style" Cheesecake, it gives you a wonderful "Cheesecake high" that is unrivaled by other kinds. Let me explain my theory on Cheesecake, and why it is more enjoyable than Weed.
Cheesecake, much like Weed, is a drug that when consumed, gives you this feeling of pure bliss, happiness and relaxation. The difference, is Cheesecake can be lethal in large amounts. It is often recommended to eat at least ONE 7-inch or under Cheesecake in one sitting to attain maximum "effect", while any more will cause a Cheesecake Overdose (in other words, turn your asshole inside out.) Cheesecake should be eaten responsibly.
HungryMan TV Dinners - These are a great invention for the depression-struck to fill themselves up at a relatively low cost. While not exactly being enough food to get that ecstatic feeling of watching Bisu work his corsair/DT army to victory, it will be enough to leave your wallet and stomach pleased. Make sure to try the Cheese fries and Beer-battered Chicken, it is an instant foodgasm.
The Instant Classic; Pizza! What needs to be said about Pizza? It is the best food available that doesnt contain an amount of sugar that would give an SCV issues carrying it. Pizza is plain AWESOME. Whether you like pepperoni, pineapples, whatever, You can get it on a pizza.
CANADIAN SPECIAL - DONAIRS! (EDIT: Apparently this is a big Turkish thing too..)
Regardless of where they came from, these have become a HUGE thing in Canada, while they might have a different name in the US and other countries (Gyros? shawarma? doner kabob?) Either way, This Canadian favorite is one food that myself and most Eastern Canadians could NOT live without.
A Donair is made from a piece of Pita bread, filled with delicious meat called "Donair meat" which is often propped up a huge stick and "shaved off". Topped off with a sugary-sweet sauce called "Donair sauce", with your favorite toppings (tomatos,peppers,etc) makes this greasy food the Mass Carriers of the food (and heart-stopping) world. All this wrapped in obligitory tin foil to give it that "Charlie in the chocolate factory" feeling. Note they are often filled up with so much meat that it is impossible to eat it with the pita until you clear off half the meat yourself, and by that time the pita is so soaked with grease, it falls apart worse than Stork in the Finals.
Now one to show how it REALLY looks after unwrapping it.. Without the sauce.
And for good measure, A picture of the "Donair Meat Stick" with a stereotypical Italian/Canadian/DirtyFatMan shaving the meat off.
EDIT: Since everyone is getting all mad about the "Donair" being in other countries, Most specifically Turkey, I want to include this quote that Smorrie found.
A variation on the döner kebab known as a Donair was introduced in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada in the early 1970s. A restaurant called The King Of Donairs claims to have been the first to serve this version in 1973. The meat in this version is sliced from a loaf made from a combination of ground beef, flour or bread crumbs, and various spices, while the sauce is made from evaporated milk, sugar, vinegar, and sometimes garlic. The meat and sauce are served rolled in pita bread with condiments such as tomato and onion. This version of the donair is very popular in the Eastern provinces of Canada, with many fast food pizza restaurants also featuring donairs on the menu. Many of them also offer a donair pizza featuring all of the donair ingredients served on a pizza crust
Stage Five: Making fun of IdrA
I hope I don't get banned for this.. hah But come on, Its too fun to make fun of everyone's favorite "Progamer". Harry Potter Resemblance aside; The fact that he talks SO much shit and then manages to get owned is so perfect, it almost feels scripted; Like he is losing on purpose to entertain us, because you can't deny, He is QUITE entertaining!
All kidding aside, IdrA seems to of learned his lesson about shutting his mouth lately, and what do you know? He is actually winning public/showmatch games now. Correlation? Most likely. Congrats IdrA. Keep up the good manner!
Stage Six: Streaming Videos
As annoying as the lame Youtube videos of some 12 year old kid with a camera "voicing his opinion" on absolutely EVERYTHING is, Streaming Videos is a great invention. Without Youtube, we wouldn't be able to so instantly relive so many of our favorite moments of Television, Movies, Pro-gaming and everything else.
Here is just a few TOTALLY AWESOME clips that will surely keep you as happy as Tossgirl's Boyfriend must be.
Conan O'Brien is the best! Esp his "Walker Texas Ranger Lever".. Sorry, couldnt find many, the quality on this one sucks but this is a good one haha.
Mad TV, Gangster Fight!
Mad TV, The Soprano's on PAX TV
Stephen Colbert on "Whose Line is it anyways?""
More Whose Line, This is one of the best shows EVER!
Kenny vs Spenny is a GREAT Show, Watch the full episodes, most are on Youtube!
As much as this pains me, since Yellow was my favorite player (Back in the day).. Boxer's 3x Bunker rush is intense.
There are TONS of great videos, I will try to add afew more cause my mind is kinda dead at the moment ahhh. I just know any clips of Mad TV, Chappelle's Show, Conan O'Brien, SouthPark, etc always cheers me up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That is my short guide on Things to help overcome Depression! I hope it was slightly comical, and slightly informative. Most importantly, I hope it gets me a SC2 Beta Key =]
I hope so. I was in the final 32-player tournament in Warcraft 3 TFT's Beta, along with submitting many bugs landed me on Blizzard's Friends list for a year, unfortunately due to timing, I only got WOW's beta from that. But regardless, it shows that I know how to help out in beta's and can contribute properly.
Plus I just graduated from College, and have nothing to do now except work lol =]
Yeah Donair are usually called "Donner Kebab" in other countries. In the US we'd usually call them a Gyro (pronounced heee-ro unless you're from Queens in which case it's ji-roh), and you find them at Greek restaurants. Unfortunately they are not as prevalent here as in Europe, because they are insanely delicious.
If I recall correctly, these are only made in Canada, altho they might have a different name in the US (Gyros? or are those different?) Either way, This Canadian delicacy is one food that myself and most Eastern Canadians could NOT go on without.
Oh my God man. What the hell. Canadian delicacy? It's called a damn döner kebab and it's arab as hell, turkish to be more precise. And it also goes by the name of shawarma which is less strict about the contents of the actual thing. But seriously, Canadian delicacy? Jesus...
If I recall correctly, these are only made in Canada, altho they might have a different name in the US (Gyros? or are those different?) Either way, This Canadian delicacy is one food that myself and most Eastern Canadians could NOT go on without.
Oh my God man. What the hell. Canadian delicacy? It's called a damn döner kebab and it's arab as hell, turkish to be more precise. And it also goes by the name of shawarma which is less strict about the contents of the actual thing. But seriously, Canadian delicacy? Jesus...
Ok. I edited it to be more politically correct.
But where we in the Maritimes took the Donair, is QUITE different from anything in Europe. Here, The typical donair here is at least 2 to 5 lbs of meat (sometimes very spicy, or just normal) and its very different than anything you can find anywhere else.
Theres a reason why everyone in Canada talks about the Maritimes Donairs.. A Donair in the Maritimes is quite a different experience even from Quebec or Toronto, which is like acouple hours to the west, So I'd imagine if its so different even within Canada, It would be quite different from European ones.
On June 12 2009 06:26 Ingenol wrote: Yeah Donair are usually called "Donner Kebab" in other countries. In the US we'd usually call them a Gyro (pronounced heee-ro unless you're from Queens in which case it's ji-roh), and you find them at Greek restaurants. Unfortunately they are not as prevalent here as in Europe, because they are insanely delicious.
In California we pronounce them "ji-roh" as well (even though everyone knows it's incorrect), and restaurants that sell them are all over the place in San Francisco, and yes, they're yummy as hell
if you've ever had real doner kebab, then you can only come to the conclusion that whatever they call doner kebab in canada is fkn awful ! :D (in toronto at least)
ok not fkn awful, but so disappointing T_T you're way better off gettin' sum good ol poutine then :D
A variation on the döner kebab known as a Donair was introduced in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada in the early 1970s. A restaurant called The King Of Donairs claims to have been the first to serve this version in 1973. The meat in this version is sliced from a loaf made from a combination of ground beef, flour or bread crumbs, and various spices, while the sauce is made from evaporated milk, sugar, vinegar, and sometimes garlic. The meat and sauce are served rolled in pita bread with condiments such as tomato and onion. This version of the donair is very popular in the Eastern provinces of Canada, with many fast food pizza restaurants also featuring donairs on the menu. Many of them also offer a donair pizza featuring all of the donair ingredients served on a pizza crust.
Doners are the best food to have once in a while. The first time i had them as doners in Berlin and currently as shwarma wraps in Vancouver. I highly recomment them, anybody ever go to the ones on robson street? I know there are some TL vancouverites out there!
*edit - also, lol at the "doner controversy" TL is priceless.
On June 12 2009 09:56 Smorrie wrote: if you've ever had real doner kebab, then you can only come to the conclusion that whatever they call doner kebab in canada is fkn awful ! :D (in toronto at least)
ok not fkn awful, but so disappointing T_T you're way better off gettin' sum good ol poutine then :D
A variation on the döner kebab known as a Donair was introduced in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada in the early 1970s. A restaurant called The King Of Donairs claims to have been the first to serve this version in 1973. The meat in this version is sliced from a loaf made from a combination of ground beef, flour or bread crumbs, and various spices, while the sauce is made from evaporated milk, sugar, vinegar, and sometimes garlic. The meat and sauce are served rolled in pita bread with condiments such as tomato and onion. This version of the donair is very popular in the Eastern provinces of Canada, with many fast food pizza restaurants also featuring donairs on the menu. Many of them also offer a donair pizza featuring all of the donair ingredients served on a pizza crust.
i guess that makes donair canadian ^^
Thats exactly what Im talking about. Maybe i should just quote that in my main post lol.
i was doing so great.... then you throw x3 bunkerrush in my face and now it's even worse than before. worst guide ever edit: you should probably add that this guide is not safe for zerg users... now im going to go hurt myself
But, my reaction to the guide was definitely filled with laughter, although I suggest you add a picture of the Outback Steakhouse's Cheese fries, definitely a good addition to your line-up.
2,900 calories, 182 grams of fat, and 240 grams of oh-so-delicious carbohydrates.
On June 12 2009 06:44 Skyze wrote: Also from what I can tell.. The meat is totally different in "shawarmas" and Donairs in Canada.
Shawarma has lamb meat? (according to Wikipedia) where as Donair meat is from ground beef. I think the sauce is quite different also.
The original meat for kebab is lamb but nowadays they just use anything. Lamb still the best ez. I've been to Turkey and the kebab there was great and the meals were huge. You can't compare that country's kebab to some other kebab.
On June 12 2009 06:26 Ingenol wrote: Yeah Donair are usually called "Donner Kebab" in other countries. In the US we'd usually call them a Gyro (pronounced heee-ro unless you're from Queens in which case it's ji-roh), and you find them at Greek restaurants. Unfortunately they are not as prevalent here as in Europe, because they are insanely delicious.
Well, I also heard ya-ee-ro as well in NYC along with heee-ro and ji-roh. As for me, I prefer saying and calling it ja-ee-ro for some reason.... but all in all, how you say it doesn't matter, it all depends on HOW YOU EAT the food! xD
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