On December 16 2008 17:07 PH wrote:
Stand next to girl.

"So the other day I went fishing and caught a fish about this big" (fish about shoulder width apart).

"But damn...today, I went fishing...and caught a fish thiiiiis big!" (wrap arm around her shoulder while showing how big fish was.)

-____-;;

lol that sounds funny

xhuwin

United States476 Posts

December 16 2008 08:17 GMT

#23

On December 16 2008 16:02 OmgIRok wrote:

Next one is just yeah

"Are you a beaver? Cause daaaaaaaaaammmmmm"

I read that as "Are you a reaver." Completely different reaction. >>

Wolverine

138 Posts

December 16 2008 08:23 GMT

#24

but how the fuck is your one (OP) original faggot when a simple google search shows it up

Misrah

United States1695 Posts

December 16 2008 08:23 GMT

#25

I SAY IT'S MY BIRTHDAY

LETS FUCK?

jodogohoo

Canada2533 Posts

December 16 2008 08:26 GMT

#26

Do you know why your shit is white?
It's because I came.
+ Show Spoiler +

kind of related

yoshtodd

United States418 Posts

December 16 2008 08:27 GMT

#27

Baby, I think you just put my tank in Siege Mode.

SpiritoftheTunA

United States20903 Posts

December 16 2008 08:35 GMT

#28

i will kill you motherfucker

IzzyCraft

United States4487 Posts

December 16 2008 08:39 GMT

#29

I hope that pointed at the sc pick up line T_T not at the girl your picking up

hymn

Bulgaria832 Posts

December 16 2008 09:02 GMT

#30

A few days ago I saw a friend and I ask him "Hey, have you seen the sex videos of your gf?". His face was changing for a few seconds and he says "NO!". Me "Ok, I will show you, I filmed them last night with my phone...". Then I couldn't keep my face straight after seeing his and I burst out laughing. He got the joke and said I really got him with that. Also said I'm an asshole lol.

I've asked two girls if they want to play strip poker with me and they both agreed. When I see a girl is interested in me and I find her cute at some time at a party I simply ask "Wanna go play strip poker upstairs?". Nothing special but it has 100% success so far.

And once I said to a girl "Hey, there is a party at my place! Wanna come?". She says "Ok, who's gonna be there?". And I say "Me, you and a bottle of vodka". We laughed then but after a few days she asked me if we're gonna do the party.

Bosu

United States3247 Posts

December 16 2008 09:05 GMT

#31

"I am B- on ICCUP."

"I have been following you for like 20 minutes, can I have your number?"

Lemonwalrus

United States5465 Posts

December 16 2008 09:16 GMT

#32

I have a similar one to the second one, one of my friends told me, so it might not be original.

"If you were a pirate, would you have your parrot on this shoulder (touch the shoulder nearest you) or THIS shoulder? (put arm around them to touch farthest shoulder)"

HeyitsClay

Canada336 Posts

December 16 2008 09:23 GMT

#33

"Your so fine id drink your bath water"

Avius

Iraq1796 Posts

December 16 2008 10:03 GMT

#34

On December 16 2008 17:27 yoshtodd wrote:
Baby, I think you just put my tank in Siege Mode.

Hahahaha, golden!

Quanticfograw

United States2053 Posts

December 16 2008 10:05 GMT

#35

Lol god some of these are really funny. I use one that works if your at a bar a club or a party where theres alot of cute girls. It works best when its not a huge place because you somewhat need them to come back. You walk up to a girl and whisper in her ear your the most beautiful girl in here, then walk away. if you play it cool long enough shell come over and bam its a rap

NarutO

Germany18839 Posts

December 16 2008 10:27 GMT

#36

"Did you fart? Cause you blow me awaaaaaaay~"

"Niiiice, how much?"

DwmC_Foefen

Belgium2186 Posts

December 16 2008 10:59 GMT

#37

"How you doing?" + the whole attitude ^^

)joey tribbiani ^^ for those who don't know)

Always works:p

United States6173 Posts

December 16 2008 11:02 GMT

#38

On December 16 2008 18:02 hymn wrote:
A few days ago I saw a friend and I ask him "Hey, have you seen the sex videos of your gf?". His face was changing for a few seconds and he says "NO!". Me "Ok, I will show you, I filmed them last night with my phone...". Then I couldn't keep my face straight after seeing his and I burst out laughing. He got the joke and said I really got him with that. Also said I'm an asshole lol.

I've asked two girls if they want to play strip poker with me and they both agreed. When I see a girl is interested in me and I find her cute at some time at a party I simply ask "Wanna go play strip poker upstairs?". Nothing special but it has 100% success so far.

And once I said to a girl "Hey, there is a party at my place! Wanna come?". She says "Ok, who's gonna be there?". And I say "Me, you and a bottle of vodka". We laughed then but after a few days she asked me if we're gonna do the party.

If it has a success rate above 0%, then it doesn't belong in this thread.

GearitUP

United States337 Posts

December 16 2008 11:35 GMT

#39

Baby I put the STD in stud now all I need is U.
xD

United States6173 Posts

December 16 2008 11:42 GMT

#40

Once I was at a party that I got dragged to...I didn't really give a shit about it, and showed up in a beanie, glasses, old hoodie and shorts with flip flops...

One of my friends convinced me to go out on the dance floor with him to "hook up with chicks". He for some reason thought that dancing with a girl counted as hooking up with them. -____-;;

In any case, I knew I wasn't gonna get any that night, but decided, 'why the fuck not?'

We found a group of girls dancing by themselves...he walked up, and started dancing with one of them. I walked up as my hobo-dressed self and asked one, "hey, wanna dance?"

She gave me a dirty look and said, "umm...you can dance with her..."

I went back to the bar and drank some more. T_T

On December 16 2008 20:35 GearitUP wrote:
Baby I put the STD in stud now all I need is U.
xD

omg win.