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MaReK
Australia446 Posts
![[image loading]](http://www.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/00672/car-sex-man-4_672781n.jpg) Long story short, a guy from the UK has been having sex with mainly cars, but also other vehicles, for the past 12 years. Quote: Mr Smith, 57, first had sex with a car at the age of 15, and claims he has never been attracted to women or men. But his wandering eye has spread beyond cars to other vehicles. He says that his most intense sexual experience was "making love" to the helicopter from 1980s TV hit Airwolf. Source | ||
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imDerek
United States1944 Posts
and i thought the man who had sex with the bike was bad | ||
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dinmsab
Malaysia2246 Posts
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EGLzGaMeR
United States1867 Posts
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mahc
United States874 Posts
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micronesia
United States24664 Posts
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EmeraldSparks
United States1451 Posts
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prOxi.swAMi
Australia3091 Posts
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Klockan3
Sweden2866 Posts
I would totally do that, betting on how long you are going to live is a win situation, since either you die anyway or you get a ton of cash!! Btw that car guy is gross, I hope he don't do that to other peoples vehicles. (Or he probably do since he have been with so many) Imagine a guy sneaking around masturbating on your car :r | ||
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fgsvsd
Switzerland348 Posts
On June 02 2008 15:27 EmeraldSparks wrote: Why is this so weird? I find myself inside cars all the time. Made me laugh. | ||
lilsusie
3861 Posts
On June 02 2008 15:27 EmeraldSparks wrote: Why is this so weird? I find myself inside cars all the time. Having sex with a woman or man INSIDE a car and then actually cuddling and kissing the actual CAR are two different things. | ||
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lokiM
United States3407 Posts
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ulszz
Jamaica1787 Posts
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JIJI
Canada291 Posts
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MyLostTemple
United States2921 Posts
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Wysp
Canada2299 Posts
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Meiya
Australia1169 Posts
As well as Vanilla, he regularly spends time with his other vehicles – a 1973 Opal GT, named Cinnamon, and 1993 Ford Ranger Splash, named Ginger Fucking baller. | ||
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GunsofthePatriots
South Africa991 Posts
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iloveHieu
United States1919 Posts
edit: is it just me or he's fingering the car -_- | ||
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dronebabo
10866 Posts
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Meiya
Australia1169 Posts
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bboyldy
Korea (North)664 Posts
Pure sex. The term became literal | ||
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Centric
United States1989 Posts
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Mischy
United States179 Posts
-you mean that wasn't bird crap on my car????? | ||
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NarutO
Germany18839 Posts
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Meiya
Australia1169 Posts
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paper
13196 Posts
On June 02 2008 15:32 lilsusie wrote: Having sex with a woman or man INSIDE a car and then actually cuddling and kissing the actual CAR are two different things. >__>;;; | ||
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Mischy
United States179 Posts
On June 02 2008 16:31 NightRapier wrote: Wouldn't this fall under the boundaries of Paraphilia? I'm surprised there wasn't a word for "Mechophilia" already, seeing as how there have been recorded instances of people having sex/wanting sex with everything from robots to vacuum cleaners. Agreed...would fall under that. | ||
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knyttym
United States5797 Posts
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Mischy
United States179 Posts
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blagoonga123
United States2068 Posts
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kyari_
Romania558 Posts
On June 02 2008 15:56 GunsofthePatriots wrote: At least he's not a homosexual... ..... what? | ||
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Jayson X
Switzerland2431 Posts
right? right? ... Oh my god | ||
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d.arkive
United States843 Posts
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Holylight
Korea (South)460 Posts
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caution.slip
United States775 Posts
its better that hes having sex with machines than raping kids or girls...or guys... | ||
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Spenguin
Australia3316 Posts
On June 02 2008 15:25 micronesia wrote: What is the age of consent for a car? 50,000km | ||
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Zelniq
United States7166 Posts
On June 02 2008 16:40 blagoonga123 wrote: lol lilsusie must have some romanian in her. LOOOOOL | ||
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evanthebouncy!
United States12796 Posts
hahahaa nice | ||
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HamerD
United Kingdom1922 Posts
and later on in this thread from romania | ||
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oneill
Philippines278 Posts
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404.Nintu
Canada1723 Posts
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Vin{MBL}
5185 Posts
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404.Nintu
Canada1723 Posts
On June 02 2008 19:14 Vin{MBL} wrote: he needs to see a doctor Or a mechanic! "I just don't feel the spark that we used to have." "Did you check the Spark plugs?" "After 30 minutes or so, it just seized up." "Sounds like a lubrication issue!" "Practice Safe Sex! Wear a seat-belt!" | ||
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HamerD
United Kingdom1922 Posts
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inlagdsil
Canada957 Posts
http://www.textfiles.com/sex/sex-cars.faq Now you can ask "wtf WHY??!!" | ||
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Cloud
Sexico5880 Posts
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Snet
United States3573 Posts
On June 02 2008 19:19 Nintu wrote: Or a mechanic! "I just don't feel the spark that we used to have." "Did you check the Spark plugs?" "After 30 minutes or so, it just seized up." "Sounds like a lubrication issue!" "Practice Safe Sex! Wear a seat-belt!" So much fail in one post. | ||
thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
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inlagdsil
Canada957 Posts
They love cars | ||
jkillashark
United States5262 Posts
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Equinox_kr
United States7395 Posts
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Bub
United States3518 Posts
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Sigrun
United States1654 Posts
On June 02 2008 15:25 micronesia wrote: What is the age of consent for a car? | ||
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dronebabo
10866 Posts
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CubEdIn
Romania5359 Posts
On June 02 2008 16:40 blagoonga123 wrote: lol lilsusie must have some romanian in her. SO DOES YOUR MOM! ZING! | ||
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pubbanana
United States3063 Posts
I'm not sure if I'm relieved or not. | ||
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il0seonpurpose
Korea (South)5638 Posts
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o3.power91
Bahrain5288 Posts
What's next? | ||
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o3.power91
Bahrain5288 Posts
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micronesia
United States24664 Posts
On June 03 2008 03:12 il0seonpurpose wrote: There was a thread about some guy that had sex with a picnic table, lol Cars is one thing, but that's unreal. + Show Spoiler + =p | ||
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pyrogenetix
China5094 Posts
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Folca
2235 Posts
1000+ Cars, hes such a player | ||
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lIlIlIlIlIlI
Korea (South)3851 Posts
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ieatkids5
United States4628 Posts
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mdb
Bulgaria4059 Posts
On June 03 2008 03:54 ieatkids5 wrote: where does he stick his dick? in the car | ||
GrandInquisitor
New York City13113 Posts
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ieatkids5
United States4628 Posts
umm like, the tailpipe? into the seat? in the thing under the front hood where you pour windshield washer fluid? | ||
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BaDayOri
Korea (South)469 Posts
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Chef
10810 Posts
His last relationship with a woman was 12 years ago - and he could not bring himself to consummate it, although he did have sex with girls in his younger days. Once you go cars, you never go back? On a related note, I once saw a woman get off on a stick shift... o.o | ||
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Falcynn
United States3597 Posts
On June 03 2008 01:13 inlagdsil wrote: OHIn case you where wondering "wtf HOW??!!" http://www.textfiles.com/sex/sex-cars.faq Now you can ask "wtf WHY??!!" MY GOD Wait until the tailpipe has cooled off. The tailpipe will cool off faster than the engine, so you don't have long to wait. I call screwing the car while the tailpipe is hot, "fucking the car hot". Never fuck a car hot. I did, once. Once. O_o Edit: OH GOD IT JUST GETS WORSE What you should do is get behind the car and start jerking off. When you are about to come, carefully put your cock into the tailpipe of the car, and then come. But, in the heat of passion, you must still remember the sharp edge. Even putting just the head into the tailpipe is good enough. Just make VERY sure that you don't hurt yourself. Then it goes on to explain the "proper" and "much more rewarding" way to do it which involves the tail pipe, a soda can, one of those foam soda can holders, electric tape...etc. | ||
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e.soul[gm]
Sierra Leone254 Posts
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CharlieMurphy
United States22895 Posts
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inlagdsil
Canada957 Posts
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ScarFace
United States1175 Posts
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inlagdsil
Canada957 Posts
On June 03 2008 05:31 ScarFace wrote: err..how do you even have sex with cars? Shove it up the exhaust pipe or something? :S Look at my earlier post, there's a link to a great guide. Here is a quotation: "You now have several options for fucking your car. One major one is from behind. If the car is automatic shift, then put the car in Park and remove the emergency brake. This will enable the car to rock back and forth to your thrusts. If the car is manual transmission, chock the wheels well, remove the emergency brake, and put the car into gear -- the higher the gear, the more play the car has. This will also enable the car to rock. Kneel behind the car. Now thrust in. " Yes, the exhaust pipe... | ||
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LordWeird
United States3411 Posts
He's the wad his dad should have flung on the floor. | ||
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QuanticHawk
United States32048 Posts
On June 02 2008 15:32 lilsusie wrote: Having sex with a woman or man INSIDE a car and then actually cuddling and kissing the actual CAR are two different things. So which are you implying that you have experience with :o I would also like to know at what milage/year is it considered banging a MILF car?? | ||
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HeavenS
Colombia2259 Posts
......rofl... wow....i wonder if hes ever had pussy... | ||
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NrG.Bamboo
United States2756 Posts
On June 02 2008 15:56 GunsofthePatriots wrote: At least he's not a homosexual... -_____________-;;; | ||
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{CC}StealthBlue
United States41117 Posts
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TheTyranid
Russian Federation4333 Posts
On June 03 2008 03:54 ieatkids5 wrote: where does he stick his dick? Tailpipe. | ||
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iLjh
United States160 Posts
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LordWeird
United States3411 Posts
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Archaic
United States4024 Posts
P.S. Tailpipe is MUCH too big. Try the creases in the seats. Worse, but more realistic... relatively. | ||
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morfyy
Romania593 Posts
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Retsukage
United States1002 Posts
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Jibba
United States22883 Posts
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FragKrag
United States11552 Posts
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selboN
United States2523 Posts
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Raithed
China7078 Posts
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Archaic
United States4024 Posts
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thestool91
672 Posts
On June 02 2008 15:27 EmeraldSparks wrote: Why is this so weird? I find myself inside cars all the time. LOL | ||
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StarN
United States2587 Posts
On July 18 2008 08:09 Kwark wrote: Epic bumps for no reason are only funny when new posters do them and then add nothing to the thread or reply to a rather innocuous comment made 3 years ago. | ||
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DoctorHelvetica
United States15034 Posts
That would be terrible. | ||
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Funchucks
Canada2113 Posts
That's as many as four tens. And that's terrible. | ||
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DoctorHelvetica
United States15034 Posts
On July 19 2008 10:11 Funchucks wrote: When no one was looking, Lex Luthor stole forty cakes. He stole 40 cakes. That's as many as four tens. And that's terrible. | ||
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liosama
Australia843 Posts
some people had their facebook profiles exposed to the world (of tl), | ||
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il0seonpurpose
Korea (South)5638 Posts
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Kuja900
United States3564 Posts
yeah nice bump but this thread is kind of gross and didnt need to be revived imo | ||
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G5
United States2898 Posts
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Viledica
Canada361 Posts
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Zeller
United States1109 Posts
![[image loading]](http://media.damnfunnypictures.com/dfp/ugly_car_parade_12.jpg) | ||
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FreeDoM[YA]
Canada855 Posts
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Dave[9]
United States2365 Posts
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zgl
United States1055 Posts
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Burned Toast
Canada2040 Posts
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1517629.ece A TWISTED oddball with an insatiable animal fetish was arrested after allegedly having sex with 400 cows. The 53-year-old cleaner told police he did not fancy women and only cows and horses got him randy. Getulino Ferreira Paraizo said he chose the more tranquil animals before engaging in sex acts with them. But police say it is even more bizarre. They accuse him of torturing the animals, sometimes ripping out their eyes before having sex with them and then killing them. Among the clues he left behind at every scene were empty packages of the same cookies. Police found another packet on him when they arrested him. | ||
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Elric
United Kingdom1327 Posts
On August 07 2008 03:19 Burned Toast wrote: I think we got a solid contestant there : http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1517629.ece A TWISTED oddball with an insatiable animal fetish was arrested after allegedly having sex with 400 cows. The 53-year-old cleaner told police he did not fancy women and only cows and horses got him randy. Getulino Ferreira Paraizo said he chose the more tranquil animals before engaging in sex acts with them. But police say it is even more bizarre. They accuse him of torturing the animals, sometimes ripping out their eyes before having sex with them and then killing them. Among the clues he left behind at every scene were empty packages of the same cookies. Police found another packet on him when they arrested him. What. The. Fuck. 50/50 chance its made up though as its from The Sun. | ||
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Ryot
Canada316 Posts
On August 07 2008 03:19 Burned Toast wrote: I think we got a solid contestant there : http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1517629.ece A TWISTED oddball with an insatiable animal fetish was arrested after allegedly having sex with 400 cows. The 53-year-old cleaner told police he did not fancy women and only cows and horses got him randy. Getulino Ferreira Paraizo said he chose the more tranquil animals before engaging in sex acts with them. But police say it is even more bizarre. They accuse him of torturing the animals, sometimes ripping out their eyes before having sex with them and then killing them. Among the clues he left behind at every scene were empty packages of the same cookies. Police found another packet on him when they arrested him. Don't have a cow, man! | ||
vGl-CoW
Belgium8305 Posts
dating just ain't what it used to be | ||
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Archaic
United States4024 Posts
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nortydog
Australia3067 Posts
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CrownRoyal
Vatican City State1872 Posts
On August 08 2008 05:44 vGl-CoW wrote: O_O dating just ain't what it used to be :DD:D:D:D:D: | ||
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Sawajiri
Austria417 Posts
..but this is even weirder. | ||
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