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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On April 04 2014 03:38 Volband wrote:Show nested quote +On April 03 2014 20:18 aTnClouD wrote:
edit: btw wtf is make sure the weather is fine. talk normally LOL. Isn't it... cute? I suppose he was just trying to keep a happy mood between their conversation, because only saying "at x hours x mins, at the place" is kinda dire. Such silliness backfires with women?
Two things work wonders when talking to women. You either be interesting in what you say or funny, and whenever you aren't just be normal. That statement isn't interesting or funny, it's just random childish crap people say to women when they don't know how to relate to them. Sorry if that's too blunt, gotta accept it how it is. The vast majority of women want men to be firm and decisive, and that kind of joke is something you do not say after kindergarten.
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I'm supposed to have a date with this girl i've never met in a few days, she wants to go see a movie.
what do you guys recommend and whats best way to make sure this isnt a complete failure? D:
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United States42653 Posts
You can't fail at a movie, it's essentially being alone, you sit in the dark with your attention focused on something other than her. Pay for shit if you want to look good, show up on time and looking presentable, try and have a good opinion about it afterwards but basically you won't be interacting with her at all, especially given that she's a complete stranger. Also don't go on movie dates early in a relationship.
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On April 04 2014 13:01 KwarK wrote:
You can't fail at a movie, it's essentially being alone, you sit in the dark with your attention focused on something other than her. Pay for shit if you want to look good, show up on time and looking presentable, try and have a good opinion about it afterwards but basically you won't be interacting with her at all, especially given that she's a complete stranger. Also don't go on movie dates early in a relationship.
She said she works till late, as in past 10pm, and nothing else really to do at that time, at a loss i feel like
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On April 04 2014 11:57 arb wrote:
I'm supposed to have a date with this girl i've never met in a few days, she wants to go see a movie.
what do you guys recommend and whats best way to make sure this isnt a complete failure? D:
If she wants to go see movies that's the kind of date she wants. You shouldn't be concerned, especially when she chose it.
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have a dinner picnic in a safe place!
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On April 03 2014 02:21 Volband wrote:It has been asked before, but went on unanswered, so I resurrect the question, because I find it interesting: what do you do, when your mind just suddenly switches off, and you just can't say anything, which results in an awkward silence? It's fine in a friendly conversation, you can even stay silent for minutes, and break it when one of you has something to say, but on a date, it can make you panick. You want your date entertained, but you can't even say "dog food", because you have absolutely nothing on your mind. Show nested quote +On April 02 2014 18:39 finkelboy wrote:
I'm dating a girl for a couple of weeks now, we had a few beers and talked a lot. I really like her, keep thinking about her basically every time and for now I think I made all the right moves. I've been single for 6 years almost (I'm 28) after my last relationship that was a disaster.
The problem is that after that relationship I have developed a kind of fear and insecurity sexually speaking that kept me from dating other girls. But this girl is really attracting me and I'm pretty confident I can overcome my damn insecurities.
So here is my plan: today I'll invite her to dinner with me, and then cinema or maybe a walk or a beer somewhere I don't know I will improvise on this. Then I want to try to kiss her. God I have to do it. Now or never!!!
Possible bad scenarios:
1) Today she's already busy. Solution: I'll ask her for tomorrow and so on..
2) I will not have the balls to kiss her. Solution: Fuck me I'm a coward and I ruined my best chance
3) She'll reject me. Solution: God hates me.
Now it's time to keep myself calm, collect my energies and think positive that life is good. GL HF to me. 2) It's not necessarily your best chance. I mean, if she keeps going on dates with you, she most probably liked what she experienced with you so far, and I think a date going well but not ending it with a kiss is still better, than a date going bad and still going for it. Your plan sounds romantic enough, so I can see why you want to go for it, but I'm pretty sure she'll give you other chances in case you can't muster up the courage (or the situation just doesn't come). Anyway, keep us updated, I need the positive stories to boost my own confidence!  Also, shouldn't girls suggest in one way or another that you should, or at least can kiss them? A look, a touch, anything that just signals "NOW!" to you.
So here is my update guys: I invited her for a dinner out but she told me it was her mother birthday (turned out it was the truth at least). BUT, she proposed for a beer before the dinner that I eagerly accepted :D The date went well as we laughed and talked a lot, sincerely I was hoping to make a step further but it's ok, I'll wait 
Regarding the fact that girls should suggest that you can kiss her is totally right, but in my personal case I need to gain some confidence and start to think that I can be the one who is proactive, the one who tries to conquer a woman and not someone who just wait and hopes she will do the first move as I always did, I'm learning that life is too short to sit and wait.
Of course I don't want to grab her at a random moment and trying to kiss her, but maybe at the end on the way home or if we go for a walk and I find the right moment, I don't know. I just spent my whole life waiting or worst evading girls because I'm scared and now I'm tired, too many years passed by this way.
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On April 04 2014 21:27 finkelboy wrote:Show nested quote +On April 03 2014 02:21 Volband wrote:It has been asked before, but went on unanswered, so I resurrect the question, because I find it interesting: what do you do, when your mind just suddenly switches off, and you just can't say anything, which results in an awkward silence? It's fine in a friendly conversation, you can even stay silent for minutes, and break it when one of you has something to say, but on a date, it can make you panick. You want your date entertained, but you can't even say "dog food", because you have absolutely nothing on your mind. On April 02 2014 18:39 finkelboy wrote:
I'm dating a girl for a couple of weeks now, we had a few beers and talked a lot. I really like her, keep thinking about her basically every time and for now I think I made all the right moves. I've been single for 6 years almost (I'm 28) after my last relationship that was a disaster.
The problem is that after that relationship I have developed a kind of fear and insecurity sexually speaking that kept me from dating other girls. But this girl is really attracting me and I'm pretty confident I can overcome my damn insecurities.
So here is my plan: today I'll invite her to dinner with me, and then cinema or maybe a walk or a beer somewhere I don't know I will improvise on this. Then I want to try to kiss her. God I have to do it. Now or never!!!
Possible bad scenarios:
1) Today she's already busy. Solution: I'll ask her for tomorrow and so on..
2) I will not have the balls to kiss her. Solution: Fuck me I'm a coward and I ruined my best chance
3) She'll reject me. Solution: God hates me.
Now it's time to keep myself calm, collect my energies and think positive that life is good. GL HF to me. 2) It's not necessarily your best chance. I mean, if she keeps going on dates with you, she most probably liked what she experienced with you so far, and I think a date going well but not ending it with a kiss is still better, than a date going bad and still going for it. Your plan sounds romantic enough, so I can see why you want to go for it, but I'm pretty sure she'll give you other chances in case you can't muster up the courage (or the situation just doesn't come). Anyway, keep us updated, I need the positive stories to boost my own confidence! Also, shouldn't girls suggest in one way or another that you should, or at least can kiss them? A look, a touch, anything that just signals "NOW!" to you. So here is my update guys: I invited her for a dinner out but she told me it was her mother birthday (turned out it was the truth at least). BUT, she proposed for a beer before the dinner that I eagerly accepted :D The date went well as we laughed and talked a lot, sincerely I was hoping to make a step further but it's ok, I'll wait Regarding the fact that girls should suggest that you can kiss her is totally right, but in my personal case I need to gain some confidence and start to think that I can be the one who is proactive, the one who tries to conquer a woman and not someone who just wait and hopes she will do the first move as I always did, I'm learning that life is too short to sit and wait. Of course I don't want to grab her at a random moment and trying to kiss her, but maybe at the end on the way home or if we go for a walk and I find the right moment, I don't know. I just spent my whole life waiting or worst evading girls because I'm scared and now I'm tired, too many years passed by this way.
Good luck getting italian girls if you aren't absolutely obnoxious about getting physical and going forward. I truly mean it, good luck.
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On April 04 2014 03:38 JoeCool wrote:Show nested quote +On April 04 2014 02:41 rezoacken wrote:
Say it isn't true and that your current date proposition is "take it or leave it", no games. That´s exactly what I did^^
... and that was probably too much. Did not receive another message since then. Let´s see what happens until ~ sunday.
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On April 04 2014 21:39 aTnClouD wrote:Show nested quote +On April 04 2014 21:27 finkelboy wrote:On April 03 2014 02:21 Volband wrote:It has been asked before, but went on unanswered, so I resurrect the question, because I find it interesting: what do you do, when your mind just suddenly switches off, and you just can't say anything, which results in an awkward silence? It's fine in a friendly conversation, you can even stay silent for minutes, and break it when one of you has something to say, but on a date, it can make you panick. You want your date entertained, but you can't even say "dog food", because you have absolutely nothing on your mind. On April 02 2014 18:39 finkelboy wrote:
I'm dating a girl for a couple of weeks now, we had a few beers and talked a lot. I really like her, keep thinking about her basically every time and for now I think I made all the right moves. I've been single for 6 years almost (I'm 28) after my last relationship that was a disaster.
The problem is that after that relationship I have developed a kind of fear and insecurity sexually speaking that kept me from dating other girls. But this girl is really attracting me and I'm pretty confident I can overcome my damn insecurities.
So here is my plan: today I'll invite her to dinner with me, and then cinema or maybe a walk or a beer somewhere I don't know I will improvise on this. Then I want to try to kiss her. God I have to do it. Now or never!!!
Possible bad scenarios:
1) Today she's already busy. Solution: I'll ask her for tomorrow and so on..
2) I will not have the balls to kiss her. Solution: Fuck me I'm a coward and I ruined my best chance
3) She'll reject me. Solution: God hates me.
Now it's time to keep myself calm, collect my energies and think positive that life is good. GL HF to me. 2) It's not necessarily your best chance. I mean, if she keeps going on dates with you, she most probably liked what she experienced with you so far, and I think a date going well but not ending it with a kiss is still better, than a date going bad and still going for it. Your plan sounds romantic enough, so I can see why you want to go for it, but I'm pretty sure she'll give you other chances in case you can't muster up the courage (or the situation just doesn't come). Anyway, keep us updated, I need the positive stories to boost my own confidence! Also, shouldn't girls suggest in one way or another that you should, or at least can kiss them? A look, a touch, anything that just signals "NOW!" to you. So here is my update guys: I invited her for a dinner out but she told me it was her mother birthday (turned out it was the truth at least). BUT, she proposed for a beer before the dinner that I eagerly accepted :D The date went well as we laughed and talked a lot, sincerely I was hoping to make a step further but it's ok, I'll wait Regarding the fact that girls should suggest that you can kiss her is totally right, but in my personal case I need to gain some confidence and start to think that I can be the one who is proactive, the one who tries to conquer a woman and not someone who just wait and hopes she will do the first move as I always did, I'm learning that life is too short to sit and wait. Of course I don't want to grab her at a random moment and trying to kiss her, but maybe at the end on the way home or if we go for a walk and I find the right moment, I don't know. I just spent my whole life waiting or worst evading girls because I'm scared and now I'm tired, too many years passed by this way. Good luck getting italian girls if you aren't absolutely obnoxious about getting physical and going forward. I truly mean it, good luck.
As long as you aren't Italian-looking it is like playing with the net down in my experience. Back when I did an exchange to Italy 50% of the Danes came home with new girlfriends, of these 25% married.
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The question, Ghostcom, is whether or not they treated them like pieces of meat? Somehow I'm guessing not.
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On April 04 2014 16:50 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
have a dinner picnic in a safe place!
Picnic in the bedroom bro
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On April 05 2014 02:01 docvoc wrote:Show nested quote +On April 04 2014 16:50 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
have a dinner picnic in a safe place! Picnic in the bedroom bro
But you'll get crumbs on the bed
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Girls will tell you if its OK to kiss them by either kissing you back if she wants to kiss you, or turning her cheek if she doesn't.
Never in any circumstances ask her for permission to kiss her, that is a huge turn off. I did that once as a young whipper snapper, and that banished me immediately to the friendzone
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On April 05 2014 02:17 Najda wrote:Show nested quote +On April 05 2014 02:01 docvoc wrote:On April 04 2014 16:50 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
have a dinner picnic in a safe place! Picnic in the bedroom bro But you'll get crumbs on the bed
69 is the only dinner for two
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On April 05 2014 03:17 MysteryMeat1 wrote:Show nested quote +On April 05 2014 02:17 Najda wrote:On April 05 2014 02:01 docvoc wrote:On April 04 2014 16:50 MysteryMeat1 wrote:
have a dinner picnic in a safe place! Picnic in the bedroom bro But you'll get crumbs on the bed 69 is the only dinner for two
Clearly you've never dated a contortionist
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On April 05 2014 03:13 fishjie wrote:
Girls will tell you if its OK to kiss them by either kissing you back if she wants to kiss you, or turning her cheek if she doesn't.
Never in any circumstances ask her for permission to kiss her, that is a huge turn off. I did that once as a young whipper snapper, and that banished me immediately to the friendzone
It works sometimes if they really want it and you're just like
"i'm gonna kiss you now" then do it before she can respond lolol.
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On April 05 2014 01:44 farvacola wrote:
The question, Ghostcom, is whether or not they treated them like pieces of meat? Somehow I'm guessing not.
I forgot I was replying to aTnCloud... My bad.
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I think it's fun that I give basic advice, backed up by experience to a guy who is having troubles with italian girls (who are raised in a strong catholic environment that condemns sexuality and thus are really, really hard to deal with) and I get insults in return.
Fact is you guys criticizing, pointing fingers, judging and putting a lot of stuff in broad categories don't really have the maturity to understand reality might work differently from what you experienced. Shitting on somebody's else point of view without any logic or evidence backing it up is a big sign of immaturity. That's fine, you can have it for yourself if you don't want to grow up. But at least remember this thread is to help guys who have troubles and many of them suffer because of it. If you have time to waste laying mediocre and wrong judgements on other people you could use it better by contributing to the discussion.
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On April 05 2014 03:13 fishjie wrote:
Girls will tell you if its OK to kiss them by either kissing you back if she wants to kiss you, or turning her cheek if she doesn't.
Never in any circumstances ask her for permission to kiss her, that is a huge turn off. I did that once as a young whipper snapper, and that banished me immediately to the friendzone
Nope, unless you explicitly ask them, it's rape.
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EPT
