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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
ComaDose
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada10357 Posts
October 24 2013 18:28 GMT
#5961
your old manager was an idiot, being male doesn't make you a caveman and its not your job to objectify women.
I'm sure they are more tired of being ogled than flattered.
BW pros training sc2 is like kiss making a dub step album.
gedatsu
Profile Joined December 2011
1286 Posts
October 24 2013 19:47 GMT
#5962
On October 25 2013 03:28 ComaDose wrote:
your old manager was an idiot, being male doesn't make you a caveman and its not your job to objectify women.
I'm sure they are more tired of being ogled than flattered.

Women are always tired of being ogled when it's the wrong men checking them out, and always flattered when it is the right men.
ComaDose
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada10357 Posts
October 24 2013 19:48 GMT
#5963
On October 25 2013 04:47 gedatsu wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 25 2013 03:28 ComaDose wrote:
your old manager was an idiot, being male doesn't make you a caveman and its not your job to objectify women.
I'm sure they are more tired of being ogled than flattered.

Women are always tired of being ogled when it's the wrong men checking them out, and always flattered when it is the right men.

people are always flattered to get attention from people they are attracted to.
BW pros training sc2 is like kiss making a dub step album.
dAPhREAk
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Nauru12397 Posts
October 24 2013 19:50 GMT
#5964
you don't ogle women in a professional setting whether you are attractive or not.
gedatsu
Profile Joined December 2011
1286 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-10-24 19:51:08
October 24 2013 19:50 GMT
#5965
On October 25 2013 04:48 ComaDose wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 25 2013 04:47 gedatsu wrote:
On October 25 2013 03:28 ComaDose wrote:
your old manager was an idiot, being male doesn't make you a caveman and its not your job to objectify women.
I'm sure they are more tired of being ogled than flattered.

Women are always tired of being ogled when it's the wrong men checking them out, and always flattered when it is the right men.

people are always flattered to get attention from people they are attracted to.


That's what I said.
ComaDose
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada10357 Posts
October 24 2013 19:54 GMT
#5966
On October 25 2013 04:50 gedatsu wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 25 2013 04:48 ComaDose wrote:
On October 25 2013 04:47 gedatsu wrote:
On October 25 2013 03:28 ComaDose wrote:
your old manager was an idiot, being male doesn't make you a caveman and its not your job to objectify women.
I'm sure they are more tired of being ogled than flattered.

Women are always tired of being ogled when it's the wrong men checking them out, and always flattered when it is the right men.

people are always flattered to get attention from people they are attracted to.


That's what I said.

yeah you just threw some generalization by gender and sexuality in there for some reason.
BW pros training sc2 is like kiss making a dub step album.
Qpid
Profile Joined December 2012
United States1 Post
October 24 2013 20:19 GMT
#5967
Well, Lets see, When I was 19. I met a girl in the mall. Her name was Michelle. Married her 3 days later because I was military. LOL. She and I became friends but she fell inlove with me and I wanted to deploy. So, I never instigated it while sleeping with her. She slept with a guy I worked with and then thought she could sleep with me in my bed.... I put the bed in the living room, Pulled my couch into my room. Let her have the bed. I slept in my room on my couch. Had PT at 4:30am. Didnt get back to 6pmish. We had a talk. Decided we wanted to be together if we spent some time actually getting to know eachother more. Well, With out the details. Im a full custodial father, Who owns a house in New jersey, My wife and her boyfriend lives with me while they have their child. Tell me about commitment issues.
farvacola
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States18863 Posts
October 24 2013 20:20 GMT
#5968
Wow that sounds fucking terrible.
"when the Dead Kennedys found out they had skinhead fans, they literally wrote a song titled 'Nazi Punks Fuck Off'"
Najda
Profile Joined June 2010
United States3765 Posts
October 24 2013 20:22 GMT
#5969
On October 25 2013 05:19 Qpid wrote:
Well, Lets see, When I was 19. I met a girl in the mall. Her name was Michelle. Married her 3 days later because I was military. LOL. She and I became friends but she fell inlove with me and I wanted to deploy. So, I never instigated it while sleeping with her. She slept with a guy I worked with and then thought she could sleep with me in my bed.... I put the bed in the living room, Pulled my couch into my room. Let her have the bed. I slept in my room on my couch. Had PT at 4:30am. Didnt get back to 6pmish. We had a talk. Decided we wanted to be together if we spent some time actually getting to know eachother more. Well, With out the details. Im a full custodial father, Who owns a house in New jersey, My wife and her boyfriend lives with me while they have their child. Tell me about commitment issues.


Um what...? I hope this isn't real.
Derrida
Profile Joined March 2011
2885 Posts
October 24 2013 21:47 GMT
#5970
what the shit, best first post ever candidate.
#1 Grubby Fan.
IgnE
Profile Joined November 2010
United States7681 Posts
October 24 2013 23:37 GMT
#5971
You never instigated what? She thought she and her boyfriend could sleep with you in your bed? You have a child with Michelle? Your story is like an Escher painting.
The unrealistic sound of these propositions is indicative, not of their utopian character, but of the strength of the forces which prevent their realization.
Chemist391
Profile Joined October 2010
United States366 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-12-17 22:41:08
October 25 2013 23:50 GMT
#5972

Kenpachi
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States9908 Posts
October 27 2013 01:54 GMT
#5973
On October 25 2013 05:19 Qpid wrote:
Well, Lets see, When I was 19. I met a girl in the mall. Her name was Michelle. Married her 3 days later because I was military. LOL. She and I became friends but she fell inlove with me and I wanted to deploy. So, I never instigated it while sleeping with her. She slept with a guy I worked with and then thought she could sleep with me in my bed.... I put the bed in the living room, Pulled my couch into my room. Let her have the bed. I slept in my room on my couch. Had PT at 4:30am. Didnt get back to 6pmish. We had a talk. Decided we wanted to be together if we spent some time actually getting to know eachother more. Well, With out the details. Im a full custodial father, Who owns a house in New jersey, My wife and her boyfriend lives with me while they have their child. Tell me about commitment issues.

wot
Nada's body is South Korea's greatest weapon.
Vain
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Netherlands1115 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-10-27 02:44:46
October 27 2013 02:44 GMT
#5974
On October 25 2013 05:22 Najda wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 25 2013 05:19 Qpid wrote:
Well, Lets see, When I was 19. I met a girl in the mall. Her name was Michelle. Married her 3 days later because I was military. LOL. She and I became friends but she fell inlove with me and I wanted to deploy. So, I never instigated it while sleeping with her. She slept with a guy I worked with and then thought she could sleep with me in my bed.... I put the bed in the living room, Pulled my couch into my room. Let her have the bed. I slept in my room on my couch. Had PT at 4:30am. Didnt get back to 6pmish. We had a talk. Decided we wanted to be together if we spent some time actually getting to know eachother more. Well, With out the details. Im a full custodial father, Who owns a house in New jersey, My wife and her boyfriend lives with me while they have their child. Tell me about commitment issues.


Um what...? I hope this isn't real.


Maybe it sounds worse than it is?though i have no idea how
Battle.net 2.0 is a waiter and he's a dick
Aerisky
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
United States12129 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-10-27 03:35:29
October 27 2013 03:34 GMT
#5975
I...what? That's absolutely fucking horrible... Your wife and her boyfriend live with you while they have their child?? god damn. Not sure if it's a particularly creative story or it's just that fucked up. Well you know what they say, sometimes truth is stranger than fiction etcetc wtf.
Jim while Johnny had had had had had had had; had had had had the better effect on the teacher.
SixStrings
Profile Blog Joined August 2013
Germany2046 Posts
October 27 2013 10:35 GMT
#5976
On October 25 2013 05:19 Qpid wrote:
Well, Lets see, When I was 19. I met a girl in the mall. Her name was Michelle. Married her 3 days later because I was military. LOL. She and I became friends but she fell inlove with me and I wanted to deploy. So, I never instigated it while sleeping with her. She slept with a guy I worked with and then thought she could sleep with me in my bed.... I put the bed in the living room, Pulled my couch into my room. Let her have the bed. I slept in my room on my couch. Had PT at 4:30am. Didnt get back to 6pmish. We had a talk. Decided we wanted to be together if we spent some time actually getting to know eachother more. Well, With out the details. Im a full custodial father, Who owns a house in New jersey, My wife and her boyfriend lives with me while they have their child. Tell me about commitment issues.


Jesus Crucifixion-Gangbang Christ that sounds horrible.

How do you get up in the morning without stabbing him, or yourself for that matter?

I feel terrible when I hear my 'crush' having a guy over, but neither am I married to her, nor is she my baby-momma.
I can't even imagine what you go through.

My deepest sympathy, my brother from another mother.
Maski
Profile Joined March 2012
Germany335 Posts
October 27 2013 16:39 GMT
#5977
Okay, after being a quiet observer for a long time, I am finally desperate enough to share my trouble with you.

Short background on me: + Show Spoiler +
22 years old, student (junior year), gamer, doing lots of sports (running and gym), shy, never had a girlfriend


So I am currently studying abroad in the US and I met this awesome Swedish girl who is not just beyond beautiful and smart, but also down-to-earth, good hearted and funny. We hang out a lot and go on trips (traveling, sightseeing) and I am pretty sure I entered the friendzone already. Since she is just here for one semester, she will leave in less than two months (I stay longer). I am totally into her, despite telling me again and again that I should just leave it and it's not going to happen.
However, the heart is always stronger than the brain and so I feel totally shitty about myself. I have no idea how to make a move on women (trust me, it's really bad, I am so desperate). I suck at small talk so I usually just get to know women when I meet them in a class or, like this time, in my program, so we can get to know each other on a casual basis first and then I start falling for them once I know they have a good character, but this also means I always end up as just a friend. Like I said, I'm bad at moves or even reading the signs women send so I never know how to make it clear that I have feelings, because I am always afraid that I would make it awkward once it's out there. I don't even know what to expect in this case here, since I am not looking for casual sex, but rather reciprocal intimacy and affection. So since she is here for just 2 more months, that would make it so fucking complicated...
I just don't know what to do right know since this is all I can think about all the time and this really hurts the otherwise great experience of studying abroad. On the other hand, I don't want to let another opportunity go just because I am too fucking shy and cowardly to take a chance... Please, please, help me guys!! What should I do? Just suck it up, spend two more months knowing that I am an idiot or try my luck with the risk of making it weird and awkward for the next month? And if I try, how should I even do it? I have no idea....
r.Evo
Profile Joined August 2006
Germany14081 Posts
October 27 2013 16:51 GMT
#5978
If you keep doing the same thing again and again but aren't happy with the results, maybe you should change what you're doing. "Being bad" is merely an excuse because you could just focus time on being less bad. Since you aren't doing that maybe you're not unhappy enough yet. =P
"We don't make mistakes here, we call it happy little accidents." ~Bob Ross
Najda
Profile Joined June 2010
United States3765 Posts
October 27 2013 17:22 GMT
#5979
Stop using the 2 months as an excuse not to pursue what you want. It sounds like you aren't happy with what you currently have, so it doesn't sound like you have much to lose anyway. Even if she says no, you will most likely have a healthier friendship with her since it's more clear exactly what the relationship is.
Ghostcom
Profile Joined March 2010
Denmark4783 Posts
October 27 2013 17:30 GMT
#5980
She is Swedish.... Go for it and be open about your feelings and what you are looking for. She might not be looking for the same, but at least you will know. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
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