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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On April 27 2013 02:48 Misaka wrote:Show nested quote +On April 27 2013 02:44 obesechicken13 wrote:On April 27 2013 02:41 Misaka wrote:On April 27 2013 02:34 knOxStarcraft wrote:On April 27 2013 02:24 Misaka wrote:On April 27 2013 02:01 wUndertUnge wrote:On April 27 2013 00:43 kafkaesque wrote:On April 27 2013 00:36 Misaka wrote:
Who cares : ) If you click with someone, does it matter what gender they are?
xx It somehow does. The penis is kind of a deal-breaker. Actually, scratch that. I mind the penis much less than the guy attached to it. Dudes are just gross. So chicks with dicks fly? Why would what's in someone's pants be a dealbreaker for you? If you were with the girl of your dreams, and then one day she woke up and had magically changed in the night to have a penis, would you dump her? If yes, well, you're kind of an awful person. If no, then why does the person's sex organs matter to you. I can understand not wanting to date guys. I don't want to date guys, whether the guy has "boy bits" or "girl bits" but equally I would date a girl no matter what was in her pants! Are you trolling? You really think that someone is an awful person because they would dump a girl with a dick? I'd say sexual interaction is fairly important in a dating relationship, and unless the guy wants to go dick on dick, his girlfriend having a dick would be problematic. Even if she had a dick and a vagina it would be a huge turn off. Well, I just think there are more ways for a couple to have sex than by putting a penis in a vagina. You might not be wild out penises, I'm not either, but for my ideal girl... I mean, what you are essentially saying is "You are great and everything, we get on like a house on fire and I love you, but none of that matters more than me achieving sexual satisfaction as easilly as possible" Let's be realistic here, it's pretty goddamn easy to get someone off who is attracted to you, regardless of whether you are naked below the waist or not. It's not as if you'd never enjoy sex ever again. It's an inconvenience but I don't think it should outweigh everything else in the relationship, or you're saying that all your "dream girl" is worth to you is sexual satisfaction. As for the guy talking about having a family, it's something to consider, sure. But there are plenty of ways you can have a family without one penis and one vagina. Adoption, fostering etc, if if the DNA aspect is so important to you, sperm donors or surrogates can fill in the other half of that gap. *shrug* I just think you guys are making way too big of a deal out of it! I have many good guy friends who I would try to date if they were girls all along. But I would feel weird with guys. I don't care if it's insensitive. I don't think it's wrong to not want to date guys, that's totally fine. I think it's wrong to want to date those male friends, if they had a vagina, but not if they have a penis (everything else staying the same) Equally, I think it's wrong to want to date a certain girl, but only if she has a vagina, and not a penis. Saying "well, I would date you but I'm not into guys" is totally fine, so long as the fact that they are male, with everything that goes with that, is driving your desicion, and not the fact that there is a penis between their legs.
I'm sorry but what you're saying is ridiculous. Of course gender and sex play a large role in a relationship. Your statement is almost as ignorant as saying all homosexuals are that way by choice and they can be changed.
I'm only attracted to people who are both Female in gender and Female in sex.
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How is a girl with a penis not a dealbreaker for a straight man who has plans and wants a family of his own, as in no adoption. I agree that it could be categorized as a phobia, but you shouldn't do generalizations either.
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On April 27 2013 03:23 Ryalnos wrote:Show nested quote +On April 27 2013 03:19 McBengt wrote:
Woah, what did I create here o0.
It was meant as a lighthearted anecdote on the subject of online dating, I was 17 years old at the time, with hormones coming out of my ears. It was just an amusing setback brought on by an overpowering urge to copulate, before I was old enough to control it. It's not racist to have a preference for people with appearances similar to your own 'race' ...
Ehm, that is being racist. If you are not attracted to an otherwise wonderful girl because she is black, then what else would you call it but racism?
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On April 27 2013 00:36 Misaka wrote:
Who cares : ) If you click with someone, does it matter what gender they are?
xx
Here's a puzzle. Misaka proclaims this, then later proclaims sole interest in girls - clearly gender matters to Misaka.
Then in a reply someone equates male genitalia = male gender and Misaka disagrees with/focuses on this
while everyone else, puzzled, continues to talk about what McBengt's real issue - being
accidentally gender bait & switched on a dating site.
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On April 27 2013 03:42 Grumbels wrote:Show nested quote +On April 27 2013 03:23 Ryalnos wrote:On April 27 2013 03:19 McBengt wrote:
Woah, what did I create here o0.
It was meant as a lighthearted anecdote on the subject of online dating, I was 17 years old at the time, with hormones coming out of my ears. It was just an amusing setback brought on by an overpowering urge to copulate, before I was old enough to control it. It's not racist to have a preference for people with appearances similar to your own 'race' ... Ehm, that is being racist. If you are not attracted to an otherwise wonderful girl because she is black, then what else would you call it but racism?
In a lot of cases, but not always. Say you don't like nappy hair. for example. You're bound to also not think Black girls are as hot on average as white girls because they tend to have nappy hair.
Or for myself, I tend to like Asian girls because they have awesome facial structure. That's not really racism, it's just that Asians tend to have something that I like.
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On April 27 2013 03:42 Grumbels wrote:Show nested quote +On April 27 2013 03:23 Ryalnos wrote:On April 27 2013 03:19 McBengt wrote:
Woah, what did I create here o0.
It was meant as a lighthearted anecdote on the subject of online dating, I was 17 years old at the time, with hormones coming out of my ears. It was just an amusing setback brought on by an overpowering urge to copulate, before I was old enough to control it. It's not racist to have a preference for people with appearances similar to your own 'race' ... Ehm, that is being racist. If you are not attracted to an otherwise wonderful girl because she is black, then what else would you call it but racism?
From what I've gathered from the posts in the past couple of pages in this thread. All people must be attracted to and willing to have a relationship with all people regardless of their own personal sexual preferences (unless they are gay or trans, then they can like whoever they want). Otherwise, if they have any stipulations whatsoever on who they would have a relationship with at all then they suffer from some negative form of -ism or -phobia and are horrible human beings for not liking something.
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On April 27 2013 03:42 Grumbels wrote:Show nested quote +On April 27 2013 03:23 Ryalnos wrote:On April 27 2013 03:19 McBengt wrote:
Woah, what did I create here o0.
It was meant as a lighthearted anecdote on the subject of online dating, I was 17 years old at the time, with hormones coming out of my ears. It was just an amusing setback brought on by an overpowering urge to copulate, before I was old enough to control it. It's not racist to have a preference for people with appearances similar to your own 'race' ... Ehm, that is being racist. If you are not attracted to an otherwise wonderful girl because she is black, then what else would you call it but racism?
It's one thing to say you don't like someone because she is black, it's another thing to just be not attracted to the typical features attributed with a race.
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On April 27 2013 04:00 Najda wrote:Show nested quote +On April 27 2013 03:42 Grumbels wrote:On April 27 2013 03:23 Ryalnos wrote:On April 27 2013 03:19 McBengt wrote:
Woah, what did I create here o0.
It was meant as a lighthearted anecdote on the subject of online dating, I was 17 years old at the time, with hormones coming out of my ears. It was just an amusing setback brought on by an overpowering urge to copulate, before I was old enough to control it. It's not racist to have a preference for people with appearances similar to your own 'race' ... Ehm, that is being racist. If you are not attracted to an otherwise wonderful girl because she is black, then what else would you call it but racism? It's one thing to say you don't like someone because she is black, it's another thing to just be not attracted to the typical features attributed with a race.
Grumbels has an itchy trigger finger. Obviously I was going for the latter.
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On April 27 2013 03:47 Magic_Mike wrote:Show nested quote +On April 27 2013 03:42 Grumbels wrote:On April 27 2013 03:23 Ryalnos wrote:On April 27 2013 03:19 McBengt wrote:
Woah, what did I create here o0.
It was meant as a lighthearted anecdote on the subject of online dating, I was 17 years old at the time, with hormones coming out of my ears. It was just an amusing setback brought on by an overpowering urge to copulate, before I was old enough to control it. It's not racist to have a preference for people with appearances similar to your own 'race' ... Ehm, that is being racist. If you are not attracted to an otherwise wonderful girl because she is black, then what else would you call it but racism? From what I've gathered from the posts in the past couple of pages in this thread. All people must be attracted to and willing to have a relationship with all people regardless of their own personal sexual preferences (unless they are gay or trans, then they can like whoever they want). Otherwise, if they have any stipulations whatsoever on who they would have a relationship with at all then they suffer from some negative form of -ism or -phobia and are horrible human beings for not liking something.
I think that is a bit far, but I feel like this is kinda true for some of this thread.
On topic, I know this is more of dating thread, but can I ask the people in here what their suggestions for taking a girl on a date if the relationship has existed for more than a year (like 1.5 years). I've done a lot of types of dates, I'm wondering if anyone has anything that they think is exceptionally creative that I've probably never done.
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On April 27 2013 04:02 Ryalnos wrote:Show nested quote +On April 27 2013 04:00 Najda wrote:On April 27 2013 03:42 Grumbels wrote:On April 27 2013 03:23 Ryalnos wrote:On April 27 2013 03:19 McBengt wrote:
Woah, what did I create here o0.
It was meant as a lighthearted anecdote on the subject of online dating, I was 17 years old at the time, with hormones coming out of my ears. It was just an amusing setback brought on by an overpowering urge to copulate, before I was old enough to control it. It's not racist to have a preference for people with appearances similar to your own 'race' ... Ehm, that is being racist. If you are not attracted to an otherwise wonderful girl because she is black, then what else would you call it but racism? It's one thing to say you don't like someone because she is black, it's another thing to just be not attracted to the typical features attributed with a race. Grumbels has an itchy trigger finger. Obviously I was going for the latter in your example.
Racism has two definitions:
1. The belief that race accounts for differences in human character or ability and that a particular race is superior to others.
2. Discrimination or prejudice based on race.
I meant in the second sense, not the first. A preference can be racist despite the fact that the person they belong to is not racist in the first sense at all. If you think that fat people aren't attractive then you are discriminating based on weight, if you think that black people aren't attractive then you are discriminating based on color (i.e. racism). It's not meant to say that you are evil racist scum.
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On April 27 2013 04:14 Grumbels wrote:Show nested quote +On April 27 2013 04:02 Ryalnos wrote:On April 27 2013 04:00 Najda wrote:On April 27 2013 03:42 Grumbels wrote:On April 27 2013 03:23 Ryalnos wrote:On April 27 2013 03:19 McBengt wrote:
Woah, what did I create here o0.
It was meant as a lighthearted anecdote on the subject of online dating, I was 17 years old at the time, with hormones coming out of my ears. It was just an amusing setback brought on by an overpowering urge to copulate, before I was old enough to control it. It's not racist to have a preference for people with appearances similar to your own 'race' ... Ehm, that is being racist. If you are not attracted to an otherwise wonderful girl because she is black, then what else would you call it but racism? It's one thing to say you don't like someone because she is black, it's another thing to just be not attracted to the typical features attributed with a race. Grumbels has an itchy trigger finger. Obviously I was going for the latter in your example. Racism has two definitions: Show nested quote +1. The belief that race accounts for differences in human character or ability and that a particular race is superior to others.
2. Discrimination or prejudice based on race. I meant in the second sense, not the first. A preference can be racist despite the fact that the person they belong to is not racist in the first sense at all. If you think that fat people aren't attractive then you are discriminating based on weight, if you think that black people aren't attractive than you are discriminating based on color (i.e. racism). It's not meant to say that you are evil racist scum.
It's not necessarily racism, though. It could be that you prefer some feature that people of that race tend not to have.
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I think it's entirely possible not to be sexually attracted to someone without having issues with that person's ethnicity or sexuality. I don't want to sleep with my cat, but I still like him.
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Grumbels you are taking those definitions too literally. They have conotations and denotations too, especially the second one. Everyone has prejudices in some form that have to do with race. What makes these prejudices "racist" is when they prevent ALL of that race from holding an equal footing compared to others. For relationships, one might not be attracted to most types of one race, I for one am not attracted to many black girls, but that doesn't make it racism, that just means someone has a sexual preference. Having a sexual preference is not the same as hating a race for being different, it just means that one looks for different things. Also McBengt, lol.
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On April 27 2013 04:05 docvoc wrote:Show nested quote +On April 27 2013 03:47 Magic_Mike wrote:On April 27 2013 03:42 Grumbels wrote:On April 27 2013 03:23 Ryalnos wrote:On April 27 2013 03:19 McBengt wrote:
Woah, what did I create here o0.
It was meant as a lighthearted anecdote on the subject of online dating, I was 17 years old at the time, with hormones coming out of my ears. It was just an amusing setback brought on by an overpowering urge to copulate, before I was old enough to control it. It's not racist to have a preference for people with appearances similar to your own 'race' ... Ehm, that is being racist. If you are not attracted to an otherwise wonderful girl because she is black, then what else would you call it but racism? From what I've gathered from the posts in the past couple of pages in this thread. All people must be attracted to and willing to have a relationship with all people regardless of their own personal sexual preferences (unless they are gay or trans, then they can like whoever they want). Otherwise, if they have any stipulations whatsoever on who they would have a relationship with at all then they suffer from some negative form of -ism or -phobia and are horrible human beings for not liking something. I think that is a bit far, but I feel like this is kinda true for some of this thread. On topic, I know this is more of dating thread, but can I ask the people in here what their suggestions for taking a girl on a date if the relationship has existed for more than a year (like 1.5 years). I've done a lot of types of dates, I'm wondering if anyone has anything that they think is exceptionally creative that I've probably never done.
Reported for being on topic.
You can find stuff on reddit all the time for things people have done for their SOs.
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On April 27 2013 04:14 Grumbels wrote:Show nested quote +On April 27 2013 04:02 Ryalnos wrote:On April 27 2013 04:00 Najda wrote:On April 27 2013 03:42 Grumbels wrote:On April 27 2013 03:23 Ryalnos wrote:On April 27 2013 03:19 McBengt wrote:
Woah, what did I create here o0.
It was meant as a lighthearted anecdote on the subject of online dating, I was 17 years old at the time, with hormones coming out of my ears. It was just an amusing setback brought on by an overpowering urge to copulate, before I was old enough to control it. It's not racist to have a preference for people with appearances similar to your own 'race' ... Ehm, that is being racist. If you are not attracted to an otherwise wonderful girl because she is black, then what else would you call it but racism? It's one thing to say you don't like someone because she is black, it's another thing to just be not attracted to the typical features attributed with a race. Grumbels has an itchy trigger finger. Obviously I was going for the latter in your example. Racism has two definitions: Show nested quote +1. The belief that race accounts for differences in human character or ability and that a particular race is superior to others.
2. Discrimination or prejudice based on race. I meant in the second sense, not the first. A preference can be racist despite the fact that the person they belong to is not racist in the first sense at all. If you think that fat people aren't attractive then you are discriminating based on weight, if you think that black people aren't attractive than you are discriminating based on color (i.e. racism). It's not meant to say that you are evil racist scum.
I would agree if someone did not find a girl attractive solely because she was black. However, that is usually not the case.
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can we get this thread back on track? open a new one if you want to change the topic
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It seems to be mostly an emotional recycling facility where angry people come to revel in their own misery at this point. Perhaps having a few laughs at one's own expense could be more productive.
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On April 27 2013 04:05 docvoc wrote:Show nested quote +On April 27 2013 03:47 Magic_Mike wrote:On April 27 2013 03:42 Grumbels wrote:On April 27 2013 03:23 Ryalnos wrote:On April 27 2013 03:19 McBengt wrote:
Woah, what did I create here o0.
It was meant as a lighthearted anecdote on the subject of online dating, I was 17 years old at the time, with hormones coming out of my ears. It was just an amusing setback brought on by an overpowering urge to copulate, before I was old enough to control it. It's not racist to have a preference for people with appearances similar to your own 'race' ... Ehm, that is being racist. If you are not attracted to an otherwise wonderful girl because she is black, then what else would you call it but racism? From what I've gathered from the posts in the past couple of pages in this thread. All people must be attracted to and willing to have a relationship with all people regardless of their own personal sexual preferences (unless they are gay or trans, then they can like whoever they want). Otherwise, if they have any stipulations whatsoever on who they would have a relationship with at all then they suffer from some negative form of -ism or -phobia and are horrible human beings for not liking something. I think that is a bit far, but I feel like this is kinda true for some of this thread. On topic, I know this is more of dating thread, but can I ask the people in here what their suggestions for taking a girl on a date if the relationship has existed for more than a year (like 1.5 years). I've done a lot of types of dates, I'm wondering if anyone has anything that they think is exceptionally creative that I've probably never done.
The premier source of information on what to do when you're already in a long-term relationship.
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On April 27 2013 02:40 Recognizable wrote:Show nested quote +On April 27 2013 02:31 Snotling wrote:On April 27 2013 02:21 Recognizable wrote:
How's my luck? I don't know man. This dropdead gorgeous girl who broke up a couple of months ago with her boyfriend seems to have taking a liking to me. But I am not sure. Because she's perfect. It's the kind of girl everybody in the school knows. She skillfully rejected almost 6 guys at the last party. So obviously I am hesitant. On the other hand... I'm whatsapping with her and we were on the subject of cooking and she casually suggested that she wouldn't mind me cooking for her sometime. So yeah...
But come on. Every fucking guy in the school is after her and she could get every single one of them. She's off the charts. A 1-10 scale doesn't apply to her. She is a model for christ sake. I know I have soul piercing blue eyes but objectively; I am nowhere near her level. You know that women dont compare looks the same way as guys, do you? There is a lot more that makes a man attraktive. There are so many guys with women way to pretty for them. why not join the club? If youre not butt-ugly she could very well find you attractive. And with an opener like the cooking thing there is really no reason to not at least try! Do it! Do it! Or i will find you and take your dick, because you dont deserve it anymore! Damn right I will try. But with a girl like that it's hard not to have your doubts. I seriously don't find myself that attractive. I know I am well liked, probably intelligent. But so is she. I just don't see myself as attractive. I don't know man. I seem to have a fanclub of 14 year old girls who stare at me and give random compliments on my eyes, but I figured it's just because I am four years older than them.
The number one rule of dealing with attractive people is treating them just like everyone else.
Keep in mind that if much of her value comes from her physical attractiveness, then that value is a continuously depreciating asset. By contrast, your value is continuously appreciating if you work on it.
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Haha good ol sunprince getting this thread back on track...
And Recognizable I'm not sure what your gf is like but if she likes romantic movies and stuff you could try to get some inspiration from them :D
That, or skydiving.
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EPT
