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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
Misaka
Profile Joined July 2012
United Kingdom32 Posts
April 17 2013 13:49 GMT
#2141
On April 15 2013 14:22 The Pale King wrote:
I have a story!

Met a 17 year old girl, I'm 22, wanted to sleep with me on the first date and I said we should wait and see what happens. We met every Saturday for the next 3 weeks, and had a lot of sex. I enjoyed looking out for her and listening to her talk about her life. She asked me if I could ever love her, I said I'm not sure. 2 weeks later, we don't talk much. She asks me to hang out today, and I ask her what we're doing. She says she's back with her ex-boyfriend and she wants to be friends. I told her I wouldn't do that, and she kept apologizing and I said it's fine, then waved to her Mom and drove home.

My reaction to this girl is about as bland as the paragraph I just wrote. Is this how insecure girls make friends? WTF just happened, what a major disconnect between physical and emotional dynamics (I think?).

TL;DR: relived tight, inexperienced sex with an extremely socially inept 17 year old, will now never hear from her again



Some people are just broken, don't hold it against the whole of womankind. Most insecure girls make friends the same way most insecure guys make friends. By fumbling through awkward conversations not knowing what to say or what the other person is thinking.
KurtistheTurtle
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States1966 Posts
April 17 2013 13:54 GMT
#2142
On April 15 2013 12:28 Zooper31 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 15 2013 12:07 aBnarf wrote:
On April 13 2013 14:08 Zooper31 wrote:
So just got done with 2nd date with this girl I met. First date was ok, planned to go to mall and walk around outside and just talk and go to different shops. Ended up raining but I think she had a good time lol. Says yes to 2nd date, we go to movies and then hangout at my place for like 2hours afterwards. She's laughing constantly and we are talking smoothly about random things for the entire time until she has to go before it gets too late. Little bit of silence as we get closer to her house but that's it. Pull up to her place, I'm going to drop her off and not walk her to the door because her aunt doesn't like strangers coming to the house (we did just meet afterall I can understand it, doesn't really matter).

So the first date I just gave her a hug no kiss or anything but we both smiled and looked at each other, just didn't happen. Tell myself I'm gonna go for the kiss, she obviously is interested and we had a great time together. Stop truck lean over console, give a small slow smile and look into her eyes. She immediately looks down as shes grabbing her purse and I barely made any eye contact and she starts opening the door and then shes out of reach to do anything. Before closing the door she looks back in and smiles and says goodnight.

No clue what happened. Did she deny me? Was she just oblivious? Was she really nervous and panicked? Why would you accept coming back to my place at 9pm at night to hangout on a 2nd date if you are going to deny a simple kiss goodnight. It's not some sort of commitment, she's alrdy told me she finds me attractive and vice versa.

I know she said she was really shy and nervous but she starts to become herself and talk more and be more open when she gets more comfortable. I definitely noticed she was better on the 2nd date than the first and we had a better time def, not raining and all lol.

Halp. I basically just had the "ok" face and sang my fuckity fuck song driving home thinking about everything I could've done better lol.



zooper you are killing me bro

lets talk some theory

what is your goal with this girl? i assume the goal is to have sex with her right? where do most people usually have sex for the first time with each other? i'll answer this one - in beds. so like you said, she was willing to come to your place. since most people usually have sex in their homes and she agreed to come to your home, why not kiss her then?

kissing is fun/high point right? it would probably be more fun than anything you guys have done together so far yes? so, why would you want to save that for the end of the night - when she is about to leave. wouldn't you want to kiss her more and touch her boobies and stuff? how can that happen in front of her house with her awesome aunt watching.

i have been on a bunch of dates. i have never ever asked myself the question "did she deny me?" the answer to this question is very obvious. she either kissed/had sex with me or she didnt because i went for it! looking at her in the eyes does not count as going for it.


Yes I want to have sex with her but I'd rather have a relationship and not just bone her. This was literally my 2nd time ever meeting her. We met online, banging her on the 2nd date, 2nd time I ever saw her, doesn't bode too well. We have been talking alot everyday though but tbh I'm still kind of a stranger/ new person to her.

I should've made a move or something when she was with me yes I agree, I have almost no experience with dating so meh, still learning.

I'm not looking for chicks just to have sex with so I don't follow any of that pua crap that's so popular now. Having sex would be great, but I'd rather have feelings for the chick. I haven't even spent like 8hours total time with her, I'm not gonna have sex with her like some drunk guy hitting on chicks at the bar.


idk what pua crap you're talking about or whatever. you're sabotaging your own happiness by inserting artificial requirements you have no need for
“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears."
Nouar
Profile Joined May 2009
France3270 Posts
April 17 2013 13:57 GMT
#2143
My luck is really good these days, but sadly for the first time ever, my mood doesn't follow...

I was in a relationship until January. I was happy, the end was unexpected but clean, and didn't hurt me THAT much I believe.

Since then, curiously, I get to sleep with quite a lot of beautiful women, even got 2 in love with me but... they SHOULD interest me much much more than that (and would have a few monthes ago), but I'm like... lights out. I don't feel I want to get in a relationship, I'm not even romantically attracted to them (why? fuck... though I like them a lot and above all don't want to hurt them...)... So, I'm in a tough spot. It's not my style to not invest 100% in a relationship, that's why it wouldn't be kind to go out with them half-heartedly. I even feel less desire even though they are amongst the most beautiful girls I slept with ><

It might seem strange to complain, but I want a stable girlfriend I'm in love with, I could care less about getting laid by numerous women... (still a nice option in between, let's be honest).
But why the fuck do I have the most success when my mind is not on it ?! Opportunities missed that might not come again anytime soon.... Hope it will end soon. What's wrong with me...
NoiR
BretZ
Profile Joined May 2011
United States1510 Posts
April 17 2013 14:01 GMT
#2144
Got dumped out of 2 year relationship and the girl I was with, the last person I'd expect to do this, left me for another guy. I'm a junior in high school. The other guy is 19 or 20. I know I'll find better, and I know I'm young, and hell, it's high school. Not sure what I expect.

But doesn't change the fact that I feel a bit inept. Luckily, I'm a pretty good looking guy with pretty damn good social skills, so getting women isn't difficult. It's just the fact that I was so blind even though I thought I could see. Ignorance is bliss I suppose
Misaka
Profile Joined July 2012
United Kingdom32 Posts
April 17 2013 14:06 GMT
#2145
On April 17 2013 22:54 KurtistheTurtle wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 15 2013 12:28 Zooper31 wrote:
On April 15 2013 12:07 aBnarf wrote:
On April 13 2013 14:08 Zooper31 wrote:
So just got done with 2nd date with this girl I met. First date was ok, planned to go to mall and walk around outside and just talk and go to different shops. Ended up raining but I think she had a good time lol. Says yes to 2nd date, we go to movies and then hangout at my place for like 2hours afterwards. She's laughing constantly and we are talking smoothly about random things for the entire time until she has to go before it gets too late. Little bit of silence as we get closer to her house but that's it. Pull up to her place, I'm going to drop her off and not walk her to the door because her aunt doesn't like strangers coming to the house (we did just meet afterall I can understand it, doesn't really matter).

So the first date I just gave her a hug no kiss or anything but we both smiled and looked at each other, just didn't happen. Tell myself I'm gonna go for the kiss, she obviously is interested and we had a great time together. Stop truck lean over console, give a small slow smile and look into her eyes. She immediately looks down as shes grabbing her purse and I barely made any eye contact and she starts opening the door and then shes out of reach to do anything. Before closing the door she looks back in and smiles and says goodnight.

No clue what happened. Did she deny me? Was she just oblivious? Was she really nervous and panicked? Why would you accept coming back to my place at 9pm at night to hangout on a 2nd date if you are going to deny a simple kiss goodnight. It's not some sort of commitment, she's alrdy told me she finds me attractive and vice versa.

I know she said she was really shy and nervous but she starts to become herself and talk more and be more open when she gets more comfortable. I definitely noticed she was better on the 2nd date than the first and we had a better time def, not raining and all lol.

Halp. I basically just had the "ok" face and sang my fuckity fuck song driving home thinking about everything I could've done better lol.



zooper you are killing me bro

lets talk some theory

what is your goal with this girl? i assume the goal is to have sex with her right? where do most people usually have sex for the first time with each other? i'll answer this one - in beds. so like you said, she was willing to come to your place. since most people usually have sex in their homes and she agreed to come to your home, why not kiss her then?

kissing is fun/high point right? it would probably be more fun than anything you guys have done together so far yes? so, why would you want to save that for the end of the night - when she is about to leave. wouldn't you want to kiss her more and touch her boobies and stuff? how can that happen in front of her house with her awesome aunt watching.

i have been on a bunch of dates. i have never ever asked myself the question "did she deny me?" the answer to this question is very obvious. she either kissed/had sex with me or she didnt because i went for it! looking at her in the eyes does not count as going for it.


Yes I want to have sex with her but I'd rather have a relationship and not just bone her. This was literally my 2nd time ever meeting her. We met online, banging her on the 2nd date, 2nd time I ever saw her, doesn't bode too well. We have been talking alot everyday though but tbh I'm still kind of a stranger/ new person to her.

I should've made a move or something when she was with me yes I agree, I have almost no experience with dating so meh, still learning.

I'm not looking for chicks just to have sex with so I don't follow any of that pua crap that's so popular now. Having sex would be great, but I'd rather have feelings for the chick. I haven't even spent like 8hours total time with her, I'm not gonna have sex with her like some drunk guy hitting on chicks at the bar.


idk what pua crap you're talking about or whatever. you're sabotaging your own happiness by inserting artificial requirements you have no need for


Unless sleeping with someone who he barely knows wouldn't make him happy? In which case going for it with everyone ASAP would be sabotaging his happiness?

Just a thought.

xx
kaykaykay
Profile Joined July 2012
Singapore637 Posts
April 18 2013 07:01 GMT
#2146
Just gave a letter to the girl I've been hanging out with for a month.
It ends like this
"So.. Would you wanna have dinner sometime maybe? I know just the place for it. Trust me, it’ll be fun!"

Wish me luck
Would love some advice regardless of what she does.
Starve the ego, feed the soul.
WombaT
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Northern Ireland25316 Posts
April 18 2013 07:16 GMT
#2147
I don't envy some of you single fellows at all. The whole dating/seeking thing really fucks with your head and turns the most badass and interesting of fellows into neurotic boring wrecks.

Granted you probably don't envy me either, as I have a mini-Wombat due anytime now!
'You'll always be the cuddly marsupial of my heart, despite the inherent flaws of your ancestry' - Squat
IamVirGin
Profile Joined March 2012
119 Posts
April 18 2013 15:05 GMT
#2148
On April 17 2013 22:57 Nouar wrote:
My luck is really good these days, but sadly for the first time ever, my mood doesn't follow...

I was in a relationship until January. I was happy, the end was unexpected but clean, and didn't hurt me THAT much I believe.

Since then, curiously, I get to sleep with quite a lot of beautiful women, even got 2 in love with me but... they SHOULD interest me much much more than that (and would have a few monthes ago), but I'm like... lights out. I don't feel I want to get in a relationship, I'm not even romantically attracted to them (why? fuck... though I like them a lot and above all don't want to hurt them...)... So, I'm in a tough spot. It's not my style to not invest 100% in a relationship, that's why it wouldn't be kind to go out with them half-heartedly. I even feel less desire even though they are amongst the most beautiful girls I slept with ><

It might seem strange to complain, but I want a stable girlfriend I'm in love with, I could care less about getting laid by numerous women... (still a nice option in between, let's be honest).
But why the fuck do I have the most success when my mind is not on it ?! Opportunities missed that might not come again anytime soon.... Hope it will end soon. What's wrong with me...


I think nothing is wrong with you ^^,. I'm in the exact same situation. My relationship ended early february (she cheated, heh.) and even when I'm in bed with other (sometimes much hotter) girls I'm not really that bothered. When we're done sexing, I most of the time just want them to leave, or want to leave myself, I'm almost ashamed to say. Truth is I don't really care much about getting laid either. (But as you say, I don't lay face down screaming "no", if we're all honest and shit.)

My guess is it's normal. I want a stable girlfriend too, but it seems I don't want one right now.
r.Evo
Profile Joined August 2006
Germany14080 Posts
April 18 2013 15:10 GMT
#2149
On April 17 2013 23:06 Misaka wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 17 2013 22:54 KurtistheTurtle wrote:
On April 15 2013 12:28 Zooper31 wrote:
On April 15 2013 12:07 aBnarf wrote:
On April 13 2013 14:08 Zooper31 wrote:
So just got done with 2nd date with this girl I met. First date was ok, planned to go to mall and walk around outside and just talk and go to different shops. Ended up raining but I think she had a good time lol. Says yes to 2nd date, we go to movies and then hangout at my place for like 2hours afterwards. She's laughing constantly and we are talking smoothly about random things for the entire time until she has to go before it gets too late. Little bit of silence as we get closer to her house but that's it. Pull up to her place, I'm going to drop her off and not walk her to the door because her aunt doesn't like strangers coming to the house (we did just meet afterall I can understand it, doesn't really matter).

So the first date I just gave her a hug no kiss or anything but we both smiled and looked at each other, just didn't happen. Tell myself I'm gonna go for the kiss, she obviously is interested and we had a great time together. Stop truck lean over console, give a small slow smile and look into her eyes. She immediately looks down as shes grabbing her purse and I barely made any eye contact and she starts opening the door and then shes out of reach to do anything. Before closing the door she looks back in and smiles and says goodnight.

No clue what happened. Did she deny me? Was she just oblivious? Was she really nervous and panicked? Why would you accept coming back to my place at 9pm at night to hangout on a 2nd date if you are going to deny a simple kiss goodnight. It's not some sort of commitment, she's alrdy told me she finds me attractive and vice versa.

I know she said she was really shy and nervous but she starts to become herself and talk more and be more open when she gets more comfortable. I definitely noticed she was better on the 2nd date than the first and we had a better time def, not raining and all lol.

Halp. I basically just had the "ok" face and sang my fuckity fuck song driving home thinking about everything I could've done better lol.



zooper you are killing me bro

lets talk some theory

what is your goal with this girl? i assume the goal is to have sex with her right? where do most people usually have sex for the first time with each other? i'll answer this one - in beds. so like you said, she was willing to come to your place. since most people usually have sex in their homes and she agreed to come to your home, why not kiss her then?

kissing is fun/high point right? it would probably be more fun than anything you guys have done together so far yes? so, why would you want to save that for the end of the night - when she is about to leave. wouldn't you want to kiss her more and touch her boobies and stuff? how can that happen in front of her house with her awesome aunt watching.

i have been on a bunch of dates. i have never ever asked myself the question "did she deny me?" the answer to this question is very obvious. she either kissed/had sex with me or she didnt because i went for it! looking at her in the eyes does not count as going for it.


Yes I want to have sex with her but I'd rather have a relationship and not just bone her. This was literally my 2nd time ever meeting her. We met online, banging her on the 2nd date, 2nd time I ever saw her, doesn't bode too well. We have been talking alot everyday though but tbh I'm still kind of a stranger/ new person to her.

I should've made a move or something when she was with me yes I agree, I have almost no experience with dating so meh, still learning.

I'm not looking for chicks just to have sex with so I don't follow any of that pua crap that's so popular now. Having sex would be great, but I'd rather have feelings for the chick. I haven't even spent like 8hours total time with her, I'm not gonna have sex with her like some drunk guy hitting on chicks at the bar.


idk what pua crap you're talking about or whatever. you're sabotaging your own happiness by inserting artificial requirements you have no need for


Unless sleeping with someone who he barely knows wouldn't make him happy? In which case going for it with everyone ASAP would be sabotaging his happiness?

Just a thought.

xx

To be fair especially when you're trying to get to know women with the possibility of a relationship later down the road you'll most likely find the best material to achieve that goal somewhere in the pickup community. You just have to know what you want, where to look and make up your own damn mind about what will help you and what won't.
"We don't make mistakes here, we call it happy little accidents." ~Bob Ross
Zooper31
Profile Joined May 2009
United States5710 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-04-18 22:15:13
April 18 2013 22:14 GMT
#2150
On April 17 2013 22:54 KurtistheTurtle wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 15 2013 12:28 Zooper31 wrote:
On April 15 2013 12:07 aBnarf wrote:
On April 13 2013 14:08 Zooper31 wrote:
So just got done with 2nd date with this girl I met. First date was ok, planned to go to mall and walk around outside and just talk and go to different shops. Ended up raining but I think she had a good time lol. Says yes to 2nd date, we go to movies and then hangout at my place for like 2hours afterwards. She's laughing constantly and we are talking smoothly about random things for the entire time until she has to go before it gets too late. Little bit of silence as we get closer to her house but that's it. Pull up to her place, I'm going to drop her off and not walk her to the door because her aunt doesn't like strangers coming to the house (we did just meet afterall I can understand it, doesn't really matter).

So the first date I just gave her a hug no kiss or anything but we both smiled and looked at each other, just didn't happen. Tell myself I'm gonna go for the kiss, she obviously is interested and we had a great time together. Stop truck lean over console, give a small slow smile and look into her eyes. She immediately looks down as shes grabbing her purse and I barely made any eye contact and she starts opening the door and then shes out of reach to do anything. Before closing the door she looks back in and smiles and says goodnight.

No clue what happened. Did she deny me? Was she just oblivious? Was she really nervous and panicked? Why would you accept coming back to my place at 9pm at night to hangout on a 2nd date if you are going to deny a simple kiss goodnight. It's not some sort of commitment, she's alrdy told me she finds me attractive and vice versa.

I know she said she was really shy and nervous but she starts to become herself and talk more and be more open when she gets more comfortable. I definitely noticed she was better on the 2nd date than the first and we had a better time def, not raining and all lol.

Halp. I basically just had the "ok" face and sang my fuckity fuck song driving home thinking about everything I could've done better lol.



zooper you are killing me bro

lets talk some theory

what is your goal with this girl? i assume the goal is to have sex with her right? where do most people usually have sex for the first time with each other? i'll answer this one - in beds. so like you said, she was willing to come to your place. since most people usually have sex in their homes and she agreed to come to your home, why not kiss her then?

kissing is fun/high point right? it would probably be more fun than anything you guys have done together so far yes? so, why would you want to save that for the end of the night - when she is about to leave. wouldn't you want to kiss her more and touch her boobies and stuff? how can that happen in front of her house with her awesome aunt watching.

i have been on a bunch of dates. i have never ever asked myself the question "did she deny me?" the answer to this question is very obvious. she either kissed/had sex with me or she didnt because i went for it! looking at her in the eyes does not count as going for it.


Yes I want to have sex with her but I'd rather have a relationship and not just bone her. This was literally my 2nd time ever meeting her. We met online, banging her on the 2nd date, 2nd time I ever saw her, doesn't bode too well. We have been talking alot everyday though but tbh I'm still kind of a stranger/ new person to her.

I should've made a move or something when she was with me yes I agree, I have almost no experience with dating so meh, still learning.

I'm not looking for chicks just to have sex with so I don't follow any of that pua crap that's so popular now. Having sex would be great, but I'd rather have feelings for the chick. I haven't even spent like 8hours total time with her, I'm not gonna have sex with her like some drunk guy hitting on chicks at the bar.


idk what pua crap you're talking about or whatever. you're sabotaging your own happiness by inserting artificial requirements you have no need for


So not sleeping with a chick within 2days of meeting her is an artificial requirement? Sry I'm looking for a relationship, I'm not an 18yr old that can't control his dick yet and wants to hump anything that moves.

I'd rather to get to know the person before I have intimate relations with them, you can call me old fashion idc.

Anyway she's coming over again tom night and we're gonna have drinks, I'll make my move then.
Asato ma sad gamaya, tamaso ma jyotir gamaya, mrtyor mamrtam gamaya
Knap4life
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
Slovenia333 Posts
April 19 2013 12:17 GMT
#2151
Dating has always been a mystery to me. Perhaps it is because i live in a small country with few people per square mile. I had several attempts with a few girls but it all ended badly ( either started ignoring me or just said they want to be friends). I wonder sometimes if it is even possible for me to attract a female , i don't seem to have that ability.

I used to be overweight until the age of 20 ( i am 23 now) so up until the age of 20 i really did not try to even bother with girls , who would date a fat guy? Anyway i am pretty much normal weight now and have been for the past 3 years but i am still having a lot of trouble with this dating thing.

The fact that i actually started trying so late , at the age of 20 makes me a noob at it , i get awkward and shy and have problems with my confidence due to being fat for most of my life i began to think that i don't deserve a girlfriend because i just don't see myself as worthly to it.

Just a day ago another girl started ignoring me , and i was not rude to her , in fact i was the opposite. I am at the bottom of the pit and see no way out anymore...
FakeDeath
Profile Joined January 2011
Malaysia6060 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-04-19 12:22:37
April 19 2013 12:21 GMT
#2152
On April 19 2013 21:17 Knap4life wrote:
Dating has always been a mystery to me. Perhaps it is because i live in a small country with few people per square mile. I had several attempts with a few girls but it all ended badly ( either started ignoring me or just said they want to be friends). I wonder sometimes if it is even possible for me to attract a female , i don't seem to have that ability.

I used to be overweight until the age of 20 ( i am 23 now) so up until the age of 20 i really did not try to even bother with girls , who would date a fat guy? Anyway i am pretty much normal weight now and have been for the past 3 years but i am still having a lot of trouble with this dating thing.

The fact that i actually started trying so late , at the age of 20 makes me a noob at it , i get awkward and shy and have problems with my confidence due to being fat for most of my life i began to think that i don't deserve a girlfriend because i just don't see myself as worthly to it.

Just a day ago another girl started ignoring me , and i was not rude to her , in fact i was the opposite. I am at the bottom of the pit and see no way out anymore...


Trust me.
I know lots of chubby/overweight guys that got hot girlfriends.

What you need is confidence and not be afraid to talk to girl.
Sure you get rejected but it's normal for everyone.

That girl was ignoring is either she has no interest in you or just being a meanie.

Try to communicate more with girls.
And sooner you will find it a very easy to talk to them.
Play your best
Knap4life
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
Slovenia333 Posts
April 19 2013 12:56 GMT
#2153


Trust me.
I know lots of chubby/overweight guys that got hot girlfriends.

What you need is confidence and not be afraid to talk to girl.
Sure you get rejected but it's normal for everyone.

That girl was ignoring is either she has no interest in you or just being a meanie.

Try to communicate more with girls.
And sooner you will find it a very easy to talk to them.



Thank you for the reply and the heads up. Problem i have is that i live in a small village (250 people) no girls here and i drive to school to a near by town every day during the week and there are girls there at school but i have no idea how i would even approach a stranger , i don't think its something normal in our culture to approach a complete stranger.
sunprince
Profile Joined January 2011
United States2258 Posts
April 19 2013 13:40 GMT
#2154
On April 19 2013 21:21 FakeDeath wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 19 2013 21:17 Knap4life wrote:
Dating has always been a mystery to me. Perhaps it is because i live in a small country with few people per square mile. I had several attempts with a few girls but it all ended badly ( either started ignoring me or just said they want to be friends). I wonder sometimes if it is even possible for me to attract a female , i don't seem to have that ability.

I used to be overweight until the age of 20 ( i am 23 now) so up until the age of 20 i really did not try to even bother with girls , who would date a fat guy? Anyway i am pretty much normal weight now and have been for the past 3 years but i am still having a lot of trouble with this dating thing.

The fact that i actually started trying so late , at the age of 20 makes me a noob at it , i get awkward and shy and have problems with my confidence due to being fat for most of my life i began to think that i don't deserve a girlfriend because i just don't see myself as worthly to it.

Just a day ago another girl started ignoring me , and i was not rude to her , in fact i was the opposite. I am at the bottom of the pit and see no way out anymore...


Trust me.
I know lots of chubby/overweight guys that got hot girlfriends.

What you need is confidence and not be afraid to talk to girl.
Sure you get rejected but it's normal for everyone.

That girl was ignoring is either she has no interest in you or just being a meanie.

Try to communicate more with girls.
And sooner you will find it a very easy to talk to them.


I love how people ignorantly act as if confidence is something that can materialize out of thin air, rather than something you naturally develop as you succeed at something.
kaykaykay
Profile Joined July 2012
Singapore637 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-04-19 13:57:29
April 19 2013 13:45 GMT
#2155
On April 18 2013 16:01 kaykaykay wrote:
Just gave a letter to the girl I've been hanging out with for a month.
It ends like this
"So.. Would you wanna have dinner sometime maybe? I know just the place for it. Trust me, it’ll be fun!"

Wish me luck
Would love some advice regardless of what she does.



So.. She texts me on the same day and says she hasn't read it and will do so tmr.

The next day there's no contact and I initiate by saying.
"Hey ____ , is dinner yay or nay. Or is it awkward as fuck now?

She replies with extreme confusion as though she hasn't read it.

What do you guys think?
Starve the ego, feed the soul.
sc_a.M
Profile Joined April 2013
420 Posts
April 19 2013 14:03 GMT
#2156
On April 19 2013 22:45 kaykaykay wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 18 2013 16:01 kaykaykay wrote:
Just gave a letter to the girl I've been hanging out with for a month.
It ends like this
"So.. Would you wanna have dinner sometime maybe? I know just the place for it. Trust me, it’ll be fun!"

Wish me luck
Would love some advice regardless of what she does.



So.. She texts me on the same day and says she hasn't read it and will do so tmr.

The next day there's no contact and I initiate by saying.
"Hey ____ , is dinner yay or nay. Or is it awkward as fuck now?

She replies with extreme confusion as though she hasn't read it.

What do you guys think?


ask her "would you like to (go) drink some coffee with me, or go to dinner". Then she has to say yes;no; yes, but not now


DrCooper
Profile Joined August 2010
Germany261 Posts
April 19 2013 14:03 GMT
#2157
On April 19 2013 22:45 kaykaykay wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 18 2013 16:01 kaykaykay wrote:
Just gave a letter to the girl I've been hanging out with for a month.
It ends like this
"So.. Would you wanna have dinner sometime maybe? I know just the place for it. Trust me, it’ll be fun!"

Wish me luck
Would love some advice regardless of what she does.



So.. She texts me on the same day and says she hasn't read it and will do so tmr.

The next day there's no contact and I initiate by saying.
"Hey ____ , is dinner yay or nay. Or is it awkward as fuck now?

She replies with extreme confusion as though she hasn't read it.

What do you guys think?

Ask her in person. If you can't, call her. Don't text, or write letters. Writing letters seems sweet, but kind of conveys that you don't have the balls to do it in person.
So be a player and do it face to face!
BeiHuoJingHua
Profile Joined April 2013
32 Posts
April 19 2013 14:09 GMT
#2158
Ever since I cut my hair 2 weeks ago, and am wearing a t-shirt because of the heat (sport freak), I get hit on by plenty of girls constantly. It's crazy how much such a small change can do. I upgraded from long time unfaithful gf to beautiful korean exchange student :>
That's the spring spirit, pretty much all my friends have entered a relationship in the past month.
Legion710
Profile Joined November 2010
Canada423 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-04-19 14:19:12
April 19 2013 14:17 GMT
#2159
Alright, here we go. There are hundred of posts here so I don't expect anyone to read mine, but I guess I just need to get it out of me.

I think I'm a pretty attractive guy, I'm a climber and I'm really in shape etc. However, for some reason, I haven't had a girlfriend for 5 years. My two first girlfriends were long relationships, and I lost my virginity at 13... It was fine when I was younger (in school, especially), because girls are always around you and you always have some excuse to talk to them, and it's never weird.

Ever since I got out of school, however, I've been having alot of trouble getting to know women. It's like men have to do everything while women just have to look pretty. The only women I'm really attracted to are either on the bus or in public places, and for me that's just the hardest place to approach them. I feel like I have to pull a rabbit out of my ass to even say hello. I have no idea what to say to them.

Anyone care to share some advice?

P.S. : Yes, there are hot women at the climbing gym, but they are often taken or with multiple friends. And even then, I'm, being too much of a pussy.

P.S.2: I don't like bars, or bar girls for that matter.

TL;DR, How do I grow some balls? (or a vagina; they can take a pounding)
Tyrion Lannister
Snotling
Profile Joined August 2011
Germany885 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-04-19 14:36:26
April 19 2013 14:29 GMT
#2160
On April 19 2013 23:17 Legion710 wrote:
Alright, here we go. There are hundred of posts here so I don't expect anyone to read mine, but I guess I just need to get it out of me.

I think I'm a pretty attractive guy, I'm a climber and I'm really in shape etc. However, for some reason, I haven't had a girlfriend for 5 years. My two first girlfriends were long relationships, and I lost my virginity at 13... It was fine when I was younger (in school, especially), because girls are always around you and you always have some excuse to talk to them, and it's never weird.

Ever since I got out of school, however, I've been having alot of trouble getting to know women. It's like men have to do everything while women just have to look pretty. The only women I'm really attracted to are either on the bus or in public places, and for me that's just the hardest place to approach them. I feel like I have to pull a rabbit out of my ass to even say hello. I have no idea what to say to them.

Anyone care to share some advice?

P.S. : Yes, there are hot women at the climbing gym, but they are often taken or with multiple friends. And even then, I'm, being too much of a pussy.

P.S.2: I don't like bars, or bar girls for that matter.

TL;DR, How do I grow some balls? (or a vagina; they can take a pounding)


do something were talking to the girls comes naturally, like a sport were you practice together (martial arts for example, ultimate frisby, kajaking, or whatever) or learn a language (in a class of course), join a choir, learn to dance.....
doesnt really matter, just think of stuff men and women do that requires basic comunication :D

and please talk to all of them^^ not just the ones you are attracted to. having girl-friends is so usefull for getting a girlfriend (and life in general), also every girl that isnt attractive has at least one friend who is :D
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