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On September 24 2018 18:19 iopq wrote:Show nested quote +On September 21 2018 01:05 L_Master wrote:On September 20 2018 11:38 iopq wrote:
I'm okay with being friends with a girl who I am sexually attracted to. There's a difference between being in love with someone and merely liking to have sex with a person.
All of my real female friends (not friends of friends) are girls that I've had sex with before and it didn't work out. What do you mean by "didn't work out"? I didn't love her and didn't want her to get her hopes up. Another one was the opposite, I liked her more than she liked me (and the sex was terrible)
Did you end the former? Or were you clear with her and then she eventually ended the relationship? And okay I understand what you mean by "not working out" meaning "didn't last forever".
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Right now I've got one girl I'm seeing that lives a bit far away (45'), she's cool and we have good chemistry so I'll probably continue to see her on a FWB/hanging out basis. Another girl lives moderately far, about 25', and so far I have some interest in her. Very warm, kind personality so far, no wierd drama red flags, and we seem to like spending time with each other and have similar priorities and interests. Third girl lives close and we have a pretty good vibe and enjoying spending time together, but in general I get the feeling we have different values (she is pretty religious, I am not) and I get a strong impression that she wants kids quite soon, whereas for me that's a 5-10 years down the road thing (I am very open to the idea). She's not overweight, but she isn't especially into fitness or health, which isn't my favorite thing. On the plus side, I really like that she has a very open mind and enjoys deep or philosophical conversations without getting overly emotionally invested. If I had to guess the kids issue is probably going to be a sticking point in 6 months to a year.
Got a few dates this week on Wed/Thu/Fri so we will see how those go and if I find myself clicking with any of these women. Right now I'm definitely just dating casually and really trying to understand what it is I would want out of a long term partner, especially in the context of raising kids. I've got some things I know I want intellectually, but I find I'm learning quite a bit by experience as well.
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On September 24 2018 10:24 Dark_Chill wrote:Show nested quote +On September 24 2018 09:29 lastpuritan wrote:
ok, i started to date a belarussian female dj whos constantly on tour to somewhere in asia, how fukt am i? any experienced people here to give me some hints how to adopt? Are you guys okay with long-distance relationships? Are you also okay with constantly travelling? If not... pretty fukt.
I wasn't okay. but she insisted on that we can meet in 2 moths, and then again in 2 months or so, and then she wants to live with me during the whole summer. she's based in minsk, that's how she calls her home.
On September 25 2018 06:41 L_Master wrote:Show nested quote +On September 24 2018 09:29 lastpuritan wrote:
ok, i started to date a belarussian female dj whos constantly on tour to somewhere in asia, how fukt am i? any experienced people here to give me some hints how to adopt? How long are you planning on this arrangement. Seems awful if it's for any long period of time. Only way I could imagine doing this is if I was just dead set on wanting to spend much or all of the rest of my life with this person. Or if you're non-monogamous it wouldn't be as terrible either. But being committed to someone who you never see feels like it would be incredibly frustrating, especially if we are talking months or years at a time without seeing each other.
we started so romantically that it never felt like something casual. we were in the same hotel, and she was staying in a presidential suit, invited me there after couple of drinks and I only left the room for breakfast afterwards lmao. it had its own balcony with a huge open air jacuzzi, jungle one side, the sea other side, and bright stars above. kinda the best casual start for me so far. she was telling me that normally she doesn't do such stuff and still not sure, i was at that time controlled by you know, definitely not by my brain, and trying to assure her nobody will know, it can be a fun night etc. then she started to say that she had not dated a guy for like 6 months already, i was surprised so much because she was extremely hot & beautiful and I am not a type of a dude you'd break your 6 months of virginity for. no special looks, no muscles, i give myself a clean 6.9/10. but it felt sincere, and she said it was the first sex she had orgasm, and the first time she feels so protected because of the way I treat. (I was trying to do my best tbh, hoping to see her again before we checkout smh)
in the morning, she told me about her former italian bf that left her for nothing, and her one night stand with a turkish peep that causes her to regret the idea for good, but i understood she is totally okay for not seeing each other for long times since her all of her relationships were like this anyways. she got contacts anywhere she settles, either way she thinks she can find gigs wherever she settles. don't know but i suspected she's using these boyfriend houses instead of paying to hotels. it was still okay for me, why not. however, she felt that i might be thinking abt it and started to say such things like this is the first time in her life she feels real different, mostly due to our chemistry in bed and when hanging around, my jokes, the way i think about life. (I said I hate EDM, TRAP, HOUSE, DUBSTEP and said I'm more of a Jazz, Blues, Folk and Rock guy. She loved it lmao)
On September 25 2018 04:41 TheBrochette wrote:
Unless the dj or you plan of changing job and setle down together AT some point . I Do not see long distance relation ship Working . Could be someone to hang out with while she is not traveling but that IT.
Its just what i would Do .
I was trying to get to that point, like asking things such how are we gonna calm our desires for each other and so, because no way I can think of myself without having sex more than a week long period, and expect her to be the same, she's instantly like, we can do cyber sex, we can visit each other, i stood 6 months without it, i'm not a person that would share my partner, and expect the same blahblah. aaaaaaaand i said okay. let's give it a try. now i find myself using an app called wechat, no other chat is working in China, and watching porn again. JESUS.
And she, she's like i am so happy that i found you, i hate this industry but i love music, i'll never lose you, i can't wait my job to end here, calling 3 times a day, talking about future plans, sending me screencaps of the talks with her mother about how I look, how attached she is, and she is 27 for god's sake, it feels like back to 19...
But damn, she's lit. : ((((((
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The only thing that concerns me here is that you have a girl, living in China, that you seem to have just met recently(ish) at a hotel. So probably traveling internationally. Were you on business?
The flags for me are the whole staying in presidential suit, using boyfriends for houses, living in China, quick to fall for you etc. I definitely don't know enough to say she wants these things from you, but at least to me it doesn't seem like you can brush off. Then again, I guess we would need more details and her, you, and how long you have known each and the circumstances of when and how you met.
Now, from your TL profile it seems like you live in the US, and she lives basically a wandering life in Asia primarily? I guess to me it seems like you got a couple options:
1)Continue to do this LD thing and continue to have long periods of time away from this girl. From your post it does not sound like you would be particularly happy about this at all.
2)Figure out logistics and get her to move to the US and doing something different. This might make sense if you guys have known each other for a while and are deeply in love and confident you want to spend many, many years together. Your posts are making me think you guys have spent not that much time together in person at all. Promising her marriage or LTR stuff would be pretty hasty.
3) Open this relationship up as a nonmonagamous one and date people here in the US. Enjoy seeing her when you get the chance. If and when circumstances permit, and she and you both still have the interest, commit to a more serious relationship with her.
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yep, we were in italy. I don't have problems traveling europe, eastern europe or to greece / turkey. I've got family members everywhere around the globe and my job grants me traveling opportunities except ASIA. aaannnd I don't like asians, their culture in general. (ok maybe thailand) that's a big red flag that she's mostly in china, indonesia, myanmar etc. expensive flights, not so safe for white people, and also not so safe for people like me who would easily get into troubles. i have some sort of bad charm, somehow always in the radar of terrorists attacks, cocky policemen, unhealthy prostitutes and brawl loving buff dudes.
meeting her was via a friend who hired her for an event, basically we were drinking together in a cozy hotel bar next to the sea, then eyes started to meet more often than it should, my friend was already trying to flirt with her and she seemed to be not so interested in. and he wasn't staying in the hotel, he invited us to clubbing, she refused, and he decided to leave, and then I asked if she wants to drink one more, she said okay but let's take a walk first, we walked down the whole beach and quickly summed up each other's lives, what we want to do next, what we want in life and more, she was heartbroken and she showed me how she's irritated by the typical attitudes of men who wants to bang her, like my friend, and all the instagram dms, I only said I'm one of them, but guess im lucky that i am physically near and not wanting to take her a club, but rather a coffee in breakfast would be nice, she was like HOW SWEEEEET. I didn't know about her till my friend messaged me he will be in the same hotel for a meeting and the girl is so dope. Like any other russian chick. :-) (never seen an ugly one yet)
I'm not happy that I need to wait for her as she wants but I don't want to break her heart. We were together for 4 days and I can safely say she was one of the best easygoing dates for me. I would happily spend more time and try not to be a greedy dick. Pretty sexy accent, sharp blue eyes, black hair with pale white skin, no plastic surgeries, no short skirts, no cleavage, she has a degree of marketing, started with resident dj stuff before becoming a global one, still not that famous but promising (at least what my friend says) and she understands sarcasm, can laugh easily and always interested in hearing stories, telling stories. I was joking about her sex life to calculate my chances, which I thought mine would be minimal compared to what she had if I tell her I'm around 90 different partners, because I know these girls are usually pretty open to casual things, she said I'm a whore, she's only 12-13. It makes not more than 2 men per year, hints me she's not whoring around even in that industry it's almost necessary. PLUS, today I wanted to have some sex, got some tinder matches, but then I imagined seeing her body would still be nicer than a hit-run process, and we got a little kinky on phone and I liked it. I think I can wait 2 months if she keeps being my private stoya 
Unfortunately she couldn't get visa, they asked her weird shits like " what would a beautiful russian girl like you seek in the states..." I guess feds don't want us to marry beautiful chicks, what can I say. Maybe I can hire a place in a country we would both enjoy for couple of weeks, and maybe whole summer. if that passes well, i might even think something serious.
For the third option, she doesn't love the idea, and I don't like to lie at all. The only thing I'm wondering is, if any of you guys ever dated russian women? Is this how they act usually, so warm, so promising, but maybe in the end they become the same for another guy suddenly? Or any similar dates, like dating a pole dancer, club woman, celebrities? She's getting insane amount of messages from some male DJ's, producers who are way way more better looking and probably wealthier than me, yet she's like "you are the one I needed"..
Thank you for replies L_Master. I appreciate it.
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So you've spent 4 days with her and you're now ready to commit a LD long term relationship with her. It's obvious you really like her, but the whole "new relationship love/energy" if clearly affecting you, especially from the extremely happy/excited way you write. Honestly, considering you've been with 90 women or so, I'm surprised you're this affected.
Moreover, you've been with 90 women. You obviously love sex, and are highly attractive to women. Hell, you've mentioned you've already even open up Tinder and grabbed some cute matches even if you didn't meet with this women. You're not going to be happy in this arrangement at all, and you ARE going to cheat and you ARE going to be unsatisfied with this arrangement especially as time goes on. You're crazy head over heels for her right now, and even then you're already having thoughts like "I think I can wait 2 months if she keeps being my private stoya ".
I think? The odds of a man like yourself or anyone who has those kinds of partners is that they are going to cheat. In rare, VERY rare exceptions, a man's character is strong enough to hold him back. With thoughts like "I think" that is NOT you. Don't promise this woman monogamy. If you already did, walk it back. You're going to be disappointed in the end or you're going to hurt her making promises you can't keep.
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That's my final advice. If you pursue this as serious it will end either with her hurting you (falling for another guy, losing interest due to distance/time/expense) or with you hurting you by having other women. You don't have to break up with her, but you should be honest:
"I really like you for X, Y, and Z. I want you to be happy, I really do, but you need to know there are always going to be other women in my life. " You can promise her emotional status and be emotionally exclusive with her, and say whatever else you need to that is honest. I would also assure her you will do things like always wear a condom, be discreet, etc. Then say something like "I care about you, and would love for you to be in my life, but I also want you to be happy. I will understand if you want something different". Ideally, hold off till you can have this conversation in person. I don't think it will go over well over the phone or text.
That's my 200 cents on the matter. Make of it what you will.
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I disagree. If lastpuritan feels this way right now, that's enough. Give it a try. Worst case, in a month (or a few) you realize you can't do this, break it off and get back to dating.
I agree that the odds of it working are pretty small. But if you feel she's worth it, why not give it a shot?
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I agree with that. I know of two friends who were serial cheaters and one of them had like 50 girls in half a year. Yet both of them met a girl and they haven't cheated since. It's possible just very hard.
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On September 25 2018 17:04 RvB wrote:
I agree with that. I know of two friends who were serial cheaters and one of them had like 50 girls in half a year. Yet both of them met a girl and they haven't cheated since. It's possible just very hard.
How do you even go about having more than 2 girls a week..? Are they rockstars or something?
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On September 25 2018 18:20 Excludos wrote:Show nested quote +On September 25 2018 17:04 RvB wrote:
I agree with that. I know of two friends who were serial cheaters and one of them had like 50 girls in half a year. Yet both of them met a girl and they haven't cheated since. It's possible just very hard. How do you even go about having more than 2 girls a week..? Are they rockstars or something?
No need to be a rockstar. Mostly you just need the time. If you're online sending out a good number of messages a week it's not hard to schedule 4-10 dates a week, which likes means at least 2 if not more girls.
If you're not doing online it means consistent nights out at bars, or lots of talking to women during the day getting numbers.
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On September 25 2018 16:51 Acrofales wrote:
I disagree. If lastpuritan feels this way right now, that's enough. Give it a try. Worst case, in a month (or a few) you realize you can't do this, break it off and get back to dating.
I agree that the odds of it working are pretty small. But if you feel she's worth it, why not give it a shot?
Okay. You could do that, true. That would avoid the cheating issue if you're strong enough to break it off if you know you can't hold out.
For the "why not give it a shot" it depends on what you mean. The reason not to is because he is already pretty not thrilled about the consistent months at a time of not seeing this girl and getting to be with her. He has spent 4 days with her total. He's taking on quite a bit of unhappiness, that in my view he doesn't have to. Be honest with the girl, date and see other women, then see how you still feel about the relationship and become more invested and serious in it when you guys are both in a position for it.
I would feel quite different about this is these two had been dating seriously for several years or more and were highly committed.to each other and knew the long term situation was temporary. Lastpuritan has known this girl for 4 days (he has no way of knowing if she is 'worth it' yet) nor does he know if this arrangement is temporary or not.
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On September 25 2018 12:54 L_Master wrote:
So you've spent 4 days with her and you're now ready to commit a LD long term relationship with her. It's obvious you really like her, but the whole "new relationship love/energy" if clearly affecting you, especially from the extremely happy/excited way you write. Honestly, considering you've been with 90 women or so, I'm surprised you're this affected.
I am also. But I think it's mostly because she's out of my league. I've dated beautiful women of course, but none wanted it for long term, they were either affected by some alcohol or my games. I never felt special for them anyways. If a woman is beautiful, she is almost every time so aware of it and acting like a princess, this one acts like that your chubby best girlfriend in high school that you knew she's into you, and you were totally easy to be yourself next to her.
she is always jumping onto my lap, giving huge kisses on the cheeks, playing with my hair like she found David Beckham and tries to get best out of it while he's around. I don't know how can I explain it more accurate.
She said i'm her type once. I didn't know I am a stereotyped dude that some girl could claim I'm her type. I was expecting her type to be a some sort of chad guy with a taste of music, clubbing and tight trousers. I'm a party dude, yes. My instagram page is full of with me at happy hours having chicks all around but I still prefer video games. For example they talked about music and djs all the time with my friend, and I talked about politics and history hahah. She doesn't know what REDDIT is, seriously.
On September 25 2018 12:54 L_Master wrote:
Moreover, you've been with 90 women. You obviously love sex, and are highly attractive to women. Hell, you've mentioned you've already even open up Tinder and grabbed some cute matches even if you didn't meet with this women. You're not going to be happy in this arrangement at all, and you ARE going to cheat and you ARE going to be unsatisfied with this arrangement especially as time goes on. You're crazy head over heels for her right now, and even then you're already having thoughts like "I think I can wait 2 months if she keeps being my private stoya "
It's not that I prefer to live that way. I am always traveling around and I have had bad experience in my past. I was engaged for 4 years and got cheated on badly. So I started to date casually and my tinder profile is somehow attractive, especially to Latinos and Slavic girls. It's been so long time since I dated a white American or British. I think they prefer something else that I still can't sort out. How are your Tinder matches?
I would totally be okay to date her only, even if she was less beautiful. She never made me cringe, she never overacted and faked it like when I said something she doesn't like, for example my dislike for Arabic culture, when it comes to that topic women are usually more open than I am, and they make it hell of a big problem and start narrating me, I even sometimes start that topic to completely destroy the date so that we can say thank you for drinks and escape. She was completely okay and flexible, some girls start to act differently when I say them I have no religion, you can feel the difference in their behavior even if they are not that religious also. This is one of the topics I still don't get it about the dates, I think they instantly think that you would not be a good husband, good dad at all. She is orthodox and said she wants to listen what made me lose my faith, all the chats we had with her felt like I was talking to a dude. NO HOMO but it's always easier for me to chitchat with males all around the globe.
On September 25 2018 12:54 L_Master wrote:
I think? The odds of a man like yourself or anyone who has those kinds of partners is that they are going to cheat. In rare, VERY rare exceptions, a man's character is strong enough to hold him back. With thoughts like "I think" that is NOT you. Don't promise this woman monogamy. If you already did, walk it back. You're going to be disappointed in the end or you're going to hurt her making promises you can't keep.
We promised each other that if something happens like that, we will openly talk about it before doing it. She said she's only doing it because I asked for it, no way she will flirt with other guys if she's attached to someone. I was keen to believe it, because I have a friend who is a playboy model, believe me, every male around her is trying to flirt, make her drink, and even marry her, ready to gift her sports cars, villas etc. And her husband is kinda ugly, she's still with him for 10 years and always openly saying she won't cheat him, even she says sometimes it's very difficult. I'm thinking some women, who have been beautiful and popular for decades, are somehow more inclined to be loyal rather than a girl who had less experience and less attention in her life. Because they already enjoyed ferrari rides, big dicks, parties, orgies etc. But it's just my opinion.
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On September 25 2018 12:54 L_Master wrote:
That's my final advice. If you pursue this as serious it will end either with her hurting you (falling for another guy, losing interest due to distance/time/expense) or with you hurting you by having other women. You don't have to break up with her, but you should be honest:
I'm thinking like this exactly, but she insists the other way around. And I think she's not that young to confuse herself this much because she was so into me? She must have been something similar in her past, and we all know how these stuff end usually. I will wait and see in this 2 months how she'll behave, what she will offer when we see each other again.
On September 25 2018 12:54 L_Master wrote:
"I really like you for X, Y, and Z. I want you to be happy, I really do, but you need to know there are always going to be other women in my life. " You can promise her emotional status and be emotionally exclusive with her, and say whatever else you need to that is honest. I would also assure her you will do things like always wear a condom, be discreet, etc. Then say something like "I care about you, and would love for you to be in my life, but I also want you to be happy. I will understand if you want something different". Ideally, hold off till you can have this conversation in person. I don't think it will go over well over the phone or text.
That's my 200 cents on the matter. Make of it what you will.
I tried. She said "other girls let you do that? maybe you don't know belarussian women, we are never like this." and also she added, she had only 2 serious relationships and 1 committed one, the first two ended because the guys cheated her, and the committed one ended because the guy did beat her twice because he was so jealous even if she was completely open to him, he wanted her to quit job, cancel many concerts etc. The rest were one night stands and friends with benefits stuff. She said she was in Brasil during the time she was up to casual stuff, and with the last Turkish hookup, she realized she is not enjoying it anymore, only the guys are enjoying even if she finds them attractive before having sex, she never had orgasm, never liked the way they treat her, that's why actually she was not sure to make another one night stand with me, but i was so cute, and she says she said to herself, okay one last time because the last one was so bad, and i'll be completely done with the idea hoping this one would be decent. And she had several orgasms, swearing it's happening for the first time in her life during sex, and it actually happened every time so she thinks im her only chance, luck or smth. She was so surprised and never expecting it to be that way. ( I haven't got a big or thick dick, I'm kinda smaller compared to her brasilians she says lmao)
Then I started to think, you're only affected because you think my dick is shaped for you, and you'll be less affected by the fact that we have it good in time, she said I don't understand how important it is that she never had it for her entire life and always dreamed about it, said I should imagine it about myself, and also she feels safe and at ease when I'm around, unlike the other serious relationships she felt like she has to doublecheck herself before saying something. And yeah, sex was good for me also. She said she lets no one to come inside of her, in mouth or anywhere before we had it, she let me in the end and she felt very emotional about it. She is totally okay to my pervert stuff and actually the first girl who has no gag reflex. When I was taking a shower, she remembered the snacks I mentioned I like when we first met and ordered some food, prepared it and waited for me to eat together, then she was texting it to her mother that she found the one, and now she's planning it to make it public, which is very rare in these entertainment industry, they usually hide their boyfriends. All the things combined, she's like a dream woman that I would create for myself if given a chance. I would of course skip some worthless fucks for her.
On the other hand, all my friends, even the one who's in this industry is totally against the idea, and I seriously want to find someone who dated people from Russia, it's a completely different world, stereotyping is almost impossible, and it's the first time I date someone who has thousands of fans, living life under stage lights etc.
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I won't lie, many of the qualities you describe about here do sound quite appealing and like someone I would enjoy dating seriously. Honestly, for serious I don't even care about the looks that much. No, she can't be plain or unattractive but she doesn't have to be crazy hot by any means, how you get along and what her personality is like is far more important to me for anything long term...and in that regard it sounds promising. I hope it continues to be that way after you guys have settled in a bit and a little of the new relationship excitement has died down.
Guess you'll just have to see how tolerable/not tolerable the whole long distance thing is and work from there.
I seriously want to find someone who dated people from Russia, it's a completely different world,
My experience with Russian women in the states and from a few other guys is that they tend to be on the dominant side and usually very much into dates and "getting serious" very quick. This is not a large sample size though, so I wouldn't put much stock into it.
It's not that I prefer to live that way. I am always traveling around and I have had bad experience in my past. I was engaged for 4 years and got cheated on badly. So I started to date casually and my tinder profile is somehow attractive, especially to Latinos and Slavic girls. It's been so long time since I dated a white American or British. I think they prefer something else that I still can't sort out. How are your Tinder matches?
Fairly good. I rarely match with the top tier women that are just blatantly super hot, but I get mostly cute to fairly hot at a good rate. Probably 5-10 matches a day, which would be enough for 10 or so dates a week if I was trying to sleep with tons of girls (was doing that a little bit back early in this year, but realized it was kinda meh and not for me).
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On September 26 2018 09:32 L_Master wrote:I won't lie, many of the qualities you describe about here do sound quite appealing and like someone I would enjoy dating seriously. Honestly, for serious I don't even care about the looks that much. No, she can't be plain or unattractive but she doesn't have to be crazy hot by any means, how you get along and what her personality is like is far more important to me for anything long term...and in that regard it sounds promising. I hope it continues to be that way after you guys have settled in a bit and a little of the new relationship excitement has died down. Guess you'll just have to see how tolerable/not tolerable the whole long distance thing is and work from there. Show nested quote + I seriously want to find someone who dated people from Russia, it's a completely different world, My experience with Russian women in the states and from a few other guys is that they tend to be on the dominant side and usually very much into dates and "getting serious" very quick. This is not a large sample size though, so I wouldn't put much stock into it. Show nested quote +It's not that I prefer to live that way. I am always traveling around and I have had bad experience in my past. I was engaged for 4 years and got cheated on badly. So I started to date casually and my tinder profile is somehow attractive, especially to Latinos and Slavic girls. It's been so long time since I dated a white American or British. I think they prefer something else that I still can't sort out. How are your Tinder matches? Fairly good. I rarely match with the top tier women that are just blatantly super hot, but I get mostly cute to fairly hot at a good rate. Probably 5-10 matches a day, which would be enough for 10 or so dates a week if I was trying to sleep with tons of girls (was doing that a little bit back early in this year, but realized it was kinda meh and not for me).
Yeah, I heard about it. Many say even in their society they're dominant and keeper. But in general men are keepers also, but still we cheat a lot.
https://imgur.com/a/9D95bFj
Here a picture of her shot by me, and our usual dates. She doesn't look that much beautiful in the photo since we were swimming all day but I think it's fairly dangerous to post her full make up professional shots here. :D
Thank you for your interest again. If you have tinder gold, I urge you to take it to Minsk, Kiev or Moscow, incredible women who are eager to travel and open minded.
Are you dating white girls? Seriously, is it possible to date fat-free no junkie cute american girls? Where are you swiping at? What makes them swipe you in your opinion. My black friends getting incredible amount of them for obvious reasons, and me somehow only latinos, asians, blacks etc.
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Not gonna lie, she's extremely attractive. Women that attractive are the ones I match with maybe one every month or two. Decent number of girls that are 1-2 pts less attractive then her though.
Are you dating white girls? Seriously, is it possible to date fat-free no junkie cute american girls? Where are you swiping at? What makes them swipe you in your opinion. My black friends getting incredible amount of them for obvious reasons, and me somehow only latinos, asians, blacks etc.
Disclaimer, I am white myself so that's an advantage. You say your black friends are getting alot of white women "for obvious reasons". Legit all I can think of is black guys being more social or the whole "BBC" stereotype.
Yea, I date mostly white girls, my area is a college town and heavily white. Probably like 60% white, 20% asian, 15% latino/hispanic, 5% middle eastern/other I guess? I don't date fat women of any gender, I'm extremely turned off by lack of fitness/health.
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This just caught my eye cus it was kind of funny,
I have a friend who is a playboy model, believe me, every male around her is trying to flirt, make her drink, and even marry her, ready to gift her sports cars, villas etc. And her husband is kinda ugly, she's still with him for 10 years and always openly saying she won't cheat him, even she says sometimes it's very difficult.
I mean, duh, how many married girls do you know who would openly tell people they're sleeping on the side? :p If anything, the words about it being "difficult" just sound like she's trying to score more good girl points. I've never met anyone genuinely faithful who'd say it's "difficult" to remain such, meanwhile ones who do talk about how "tempted" they are / were to cheat at some point, are usually the ones who do go along with the temptations.
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The dumbest thing I have heard trying to get to know someone, "stop asking me personal questions, ion know you." That was the exact verbiage used. I asked if she liked ramen because I know a few great places that would be dope first dates. Then her last name triggered a memory from the military and I thought maybe I knew someone she was related. Honest question. But nah, she gave me the above reply.
The amount of things a male can say to a woman and asking about your like for ramen or if you had anyone serve, is far too much and hostility is needed. I don't have time for that. Irritating.
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On September 28 2018 12:03 ZerOCoolSC2 wrote:
The dumbest thing I have heard trying to get to know someone, "stop asking me personal questions, ion know you." That was the exact verbiage used. I asked if she liked ramen because I know a few great places that would be dope first dates. Then her last name triggered a memory from the military and I thought maybe I knew someone she was related. Honest question. But nah, she gave me the above reply.
The amount of things a male can say to a woman and asking about your like for ramen or if you had anyone serve, is far too much and hostility is needed. I don't have time for that. Irritating.
To be honest I don't really understand where you're coming from unless I'm missing something.
Truth is some women are very hesitant or nervous like that. You can avoid them if that turns you off or you find it annoying, but, I don't feel you can blame them. That usually comes from guys doing wierd/bad shit to them, or hearing too many stories from friends about bad shit happening. Blame for that really should fall on guys.
Is this online dating? Sounds like it since you're talking about pitching a first date. Not sure what you mean by "I don't have time for that." It's online. It doesn't really take any time. Just next her and move on to someone else. One or two minutes lost maximum. Not a big deal.
If she did this an hour+ into an in person date, that would be entering borderline wierd territory to me. You'd either know by that point that she was very hesitant/nervous (so it shouldn't be a huge surprise) or you'd know that for whatever reason you had hit on a sensitive topic and just to pivot away. Short of those two it's hard for me to imagine this happening during an actual date.
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As for myself, had an excellent second date yesterday after a good first one a couple days ago. Quite good looking and pretty fit. Was one of those where you basically know this is likely to go well right from the start. Just a hint of party girl, but also seems to be quite driven and very passionate about the medical tract she wants to go into (OBGYN). I also love the fact that she enjoys reading and is quite into philosophical and deep thinking, something I find less common in women.
Normally wouldn't even go there but she basically started down that path the morning after, and I figured at that point I was okay with said conversation and was pleasantly surprised both by how able she was; and, in her relative open-mindedness, which I find extremely rare in people in general. Normally I won't even talk moral/philosophical/political topics with any girl early on in the dating process, or if I do it's a quick probe and I'm prepared to back away lest it turn into some debate. In her case though, she made good arguments but was also very open to listening and considering new points, even on topics where it was clear we don't see eye to eye.
Really a nice way to spend a cold morning, relaxing in bed cuddling while having a stimulating, yet rational and relaxed conversation about a variety of non trivial topics. She is definitely one I'll be looking forward to spending a little more time with. If I continue to get the same impressions she would definitely be the type of person I would be interested in a more serious relationship with.
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Couple other dates yesterday and Wednesday that might go somewhere, but she was definitely the most interesting of those. It's also quite nice that she lives within about 10 minutes of me. Another girl I'm actively dating I like quite a bit, but for different reasons (basically just an incredibly friendly, caring person with an excellent sense of humor). Unfortunately, she is a town away, which is about an hour drive. That's just too far, so in her case I can't really see the relationship going past casually dating.
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On September 29 2018 05:57 L_Master wrote:Show nested quote +On September 28 2018 12:03 ZerOCoolSC2 wrote:
The dumbest thing I have heard trying to get to know someone, "stop asking me personal questions, ion know you." That was the exact verbiage used. I asked if she liked ramen because I know a few great places that would be dope first dates. Then her last name triggered a memory from the military and I thought maybe I knew someone she was related. Honest question. But nah, she gave me the above reply.
The amount of things a male can say to a woman and asking about your like for ramen or if you had anyone serve, is far too much and hostility is needed. I don't have time for that. Irritating. To be honest I don't really understand where you're coming from unless I'm missing something. Truth is some women are very hesitant or nervous like that. You can avoid them if that turns you off or you find it annoying, but, I don't feel you can blame them. That usually comes from guys doing wierd/bad shit to them, or hearing too many stories from friends about bad shit happening. Blame for that really should fall on guys. Is this online dating? Sounds like it since you're talking about pitching a first date. Not sure what you mean by "I don't have time for that." It's online. It doesn't really take any time. Just next her and move on to someone else. One or two minutes lost maximum. Not a big deal. If she did this an hour+ into an in person date, that would be entering borderline wierd territory to me. You'd either know by that point that she was very hesitant/nervous (so it shouldn't be a huge surprise) or you'd know that for whatever reason you had hit on a sensitive topic and just to pivot away. Short of those two it's hard for me to imagine this happening during an actual date.
It goes for either online or offline. Every question is a personal question. You can't break the ice without asking a personal question. So how does one go about doing that? It was a quick, "hey, you popped up on my feed, we're both local. blah blah blah." And then an hour or so later, she hits me with that. If you can't answer a few questions, then something is weird. Maybe it is them getting hit on by every swinging dick, but still, a little politeness would be more deserved. I didn't send a dick pic or come off as anything than just wanting to talk a little, get to know her and see what happened.
But all the same, yeah, I get the female perspective. It was just, weird that "stop asking personal questions" is a thing someone would say.
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EPT
