I feel like I have to defend the rest of the 5 people who voted for facebook.
First and foremost there isn't really a step by step thing I follow when I go out. I just like to have fun, make love to the dance floor, celebrate something. Sometimes I'll ask for their facebook 5m inutes into the conversation other times 2 hours later when we've bounced to another club/karoke bar together. And other times I'll ask for the number or she'll ask for mine. It's highly situational.
Using facebook isn't about "not having the balls" to just go in for the kill. If you have the balls, then "let's get out of here", will always always trump numbers or facebook. I like to use facebook because it does a lot of the work for me, it's easy, it's very low pressure, I have an iphone and usually she has a BB, an iphone, or some other smart phone which allows her to keep in contact with me immediately. Here is how it usually goes. I ask for her facebook, sometimes she'll ask for my number "just to make sure". Sometimes, she doesn't contact me until the next or following days (Or I contact her later on and we'll set something up). Sometimes, she'll actually text me sometime during the night. She will get my number off my facebook profile.
That's one of the ways FB works for me. If a girl puts in the effort to actually find my number and contact me. That's what I prefer. That she makes the effort and I reward her for her effort rather than vice versa, like high fiving my buddies on the asses once I've "won" her phone number. FB's primary function for me though is it wings for me. I don't have to say shit about myself because my FB almost acts like a business card. There are pictures of me doing a lot of things, of places I've travelled to, me having fun with friends, my having an active social life; it has all my interests, and it has a lot of pretty girls writing on my wall and what not. The profile itself does all the bragging for me. It does all the winging.
In fact I'd say FB is a pretty apt analogy for the bar scene itself. If it's vacant and inactive and you add girls to it... You think they're gonna poke you, or message you or even comment on your wall? No. Well if other cool people, and hot chicks are doing it, then you think she's more likely to do so? Yes. It's highschool. And as we all know, highschool is life!
And yet another function FB serves is that I don't have to explain myself! Alot of the times, the girl will actually just bring up a topic someone posted on my wall, a picture of mine, a place i've been to, or an interest or whatever. "Hey warrior madness, when you went to LA did you go to Pinks? Is it true they have the best hotdogs in the world?". So, she'll probably know what my favourite colour is and my philosophy on life before I even know what her last name is. Of course you don't wanna give everything away. You don't want to be figured out so easily.
Lastly, of course you add girls only who are already interested in you or are DTF. I'd say FB is the superior method for consistent casual sex. If you go out a lot, and your facebook is made well, and you hit it off with a girl you can add her on for later. And you can build up quite a little pipeline of girls.
I could not imagine using facebook like that... Hi, can i have your facebook information? Jane Doe, ok now I'll friend request you tonight, can you accept my request when you get home? And then we can use facebook chat? Ok thank you byebye.
On June 25 2010 09:34 BDF92 wrote: I could not imagine using facebook like that... Hi, can i have your facebook information? Jane Doe, ok now I'll friend request you tonight, can you accept my request when you get home? And then we can use facebook chat? Ok thank you byebye.
When you put it that way it sounds weird. If you are awkward in the first place then I agree facebook is the wrong choice (you'll probably get a fake phone number as well.).
I think there's a big piece of info missing in yours and others assumptions. When I ask for a girls FB there's already comfort and trust in our interaction. It's as if we're already friends. When I add a girl, it's no BIG deal. I don't feel pressured to contact her, she doesn't feel pressured to contact me. During a highpoint I simply ask "What's your facebook?" She gives it to me. I add her on my iphone. She will have a smartphone (haven't met a girl who doesn't have a phone with some FB capabilites), she'll accept me right away. And if she doesn't chat me up, or text me during the night, then BECAUSE we've already built comfort and trust together, picking up convo where we left off, on FB chat/inbox is easy and effortless.
So just reword your quote. Presume we meet in a CLASSROOM rather than a club. We talk during the lecture, we have a few things in common, we have a few good laughs as well and I even introduce you to some of my friends in class. THEN I ask, "Hey, so what's your facebook?". See how much more natural and easy it is when that is considered?
On June 25 2010 02:39 maleorderbride wrote: I have found that facebook is much less awkward and easier in general. The whole first phone call thing can just be avoided entirely. You just send them a message inviting them to do something, or just real time chat.
Text messaging works when you get the number...
Yeah if there was no such thing as text messaging I would consider facebook, but I still don't know.
As far as I am concerned, phone numbers all the way.
Facebook is very impersonal compared to a phone conversation. I really think that exchanging phone numbers is a much better idea than facebook simply because facebook is a place where messages are left instead of a direct real time interaction. Additionally I find that lots of girls will instantly react in a negative fashion to a guy who asks for their facebook information because they perceive it as a less personal, or even a cop-out or "friend zone" type thing due to all of the awkward experiences they have had with guys adding them on facebook. Even if you aren't awkward facebook can make her think twice, but I would say that its a perfectly valid option if you do it right i.e. you have established some form of comfort or attraction already and present it in a non-chalant manner.
Also: PHONE CALLS BUILD ATTRACTION MORE THAN FACEBOOK.
Think about it. A situation where you've asked her to call you, or she is waiting for you to call builds that tension that we all love when it comes to interacting with the opposite (or same) sex. Once you get on the phone you can hear each others voices, which carry with them a massive amount of information. Saying "hey you" on facebook just means hey you. The same words on the phone if said in certain ways can instantly let her know that you mean business and are attracted to her and that the conversation is likely headed towards some kind of rendez-vu or sexual conversation. Then later on if you text her while she is at work or something she knows exactly what tone you are using when you say "hey you" or "hi there" again.
I also don't like to use facebook for people I don't already know well because it lacks privacy. I don't want every random girl I meet knowing who I know, where I work, the names of my family members etc. All it takes is one stalker/chemically imbalanced girl and you will regret giving out any facebook information. (I speak from experience).
On June 25 2010 10:58 Wr3k wrote: As far as I am concerned, phone numbers all the way.
Facebook is very impersonal compared to a phone conversation. I really think that exchanging phone numbers is a much better idea than facebook simply because facebook is a place where messages are left instead of a direct real time interaction. Additionally I find that lots of girls will instantly react in a negative fashion to a guy who asks for their facebook information because they perceive it as a less personal, or even a cop-out or "friend zone" type thing.
Also: PHONE CALLS BUILD ATTRACTION MORE THAN FACEBOOK.
See this is where our philosophy differs. Phone calls shouldn't be about building attraction... It should be for setting up logistics. For setting up the actual date. Initially, it should be short and simple and to the point on the phone. There should be attraction in the first place when you first meet.
That's why I like facebook. If anything facebook builds more attraction (If done right), because she sees all the other girls on your FB. All your pictures. All your extracurricular activities and she asks herself, "Whoa, who is this guy?". From my experience what girls remember most initially is social proof and your image (attractiveness, fitness, energy, style) etc. If a girl sees another girl acting lovey dovey with you even if it is just on your FB wall again it starts the train going, "Who is this guy??".
On June 25 2010 10:58 Wr3k wrote: As far as I am concerned, phone numbers all the way.
Facebook is very impersonal compared to a phone conversation. I really think that exchanging phone numbers is a much better idea than facebook simply because facebook is a place where messages are left instead of a direct real time interaction. Additionally I find that lots of girls will instantly react in a negative fashion to a guy who asks for their facebook information because they perceive it as a less personal, or even a cop-out or "friend zone" type thing.
Also: PHONE CALLS BUILD ATTRACTION MORE THAN FACEBOOK.
See this is where our philosophy differs. Phone calls shouldn't be about building attraction... It should be for setting up logistics. For setting up the actual date. There should be attraction in the first place when you first meet.
That's why I like facebook. If anything facebook builds more attraction (If done right), because she sees all the other girls on your FB. All your pictures. All your extracurricular activities and she asks herself, "Whoa, who is this guy?". From my experience what girls remember most initially is social proof and your image (attractiveness, fitness, energy, style) etc. If a girl sees another girl acting lovey dovey with you even if it is just on your FB wall again it starts the train going, "Who is this guy??".
Yeah, I suppose it really depends on how you do it. What you are saying about presenting yourself via facebook definitely has merit. Being able to provide a snapshot of who you are via facebook profile could definitely be a boon provided your facebook page represents you well and you actively use it. I can see myself giving out my facebook information as kind of a "this is me, check it out" kind of gesture, more than I can see myself using it to communicate.
I'm not saying phone calls "should be about" building attraction, obviously there should be attraction there in the first place, but I think that everything you do can build or take away from how attractive a woman (or man) perceives you to be. Hearing the voice of someone you already are attracted to is definitely more stimulating and interesting than facebook imo. I would rather be the attractive guy shes waiting for a call from than the attractive guy who shes investigating on facebook (perhaps because I'm not a huge fan of facebook and don't really use it much). I think there is alot of value in a good phone call. If you have established attraction and then on the phone are confident, interesting/fun to talk to, and you get to the point of arranging a date quickly you are definitely going to get some brownie points so to speak. That being said, it seems that you are calling her/him anyways to arrange a date like you mentioned, so perhaps you are just adept at taking advantage of all of your resources
I think it just boils down to your style. If you can make it work go for it.
You should make sure to adjust your numbers for how often these interactions end up in sex or a date. I'm sure people are giving out their facebook left and right but you are much more likely to fuck a girl with her phone number than her facebook. Facebook can be like those fake numbers girls give out.
On June 25 2010 08:25 Warrior Madness wrote: I feel like I have to defend the rest of the 5 people who voted for facebook.
First and foremost there isn't really a step by step thing I follow when I go out. I just like to have fun, make love to the dance floor, celebrate something. Sometimes I'll ask for their facebook 5m inutes into the conversation other times 2 hours later when we've bounced to another club/karoke bar together. And other times I'll ask for the number or she'll ask for mine. It's highly situational.
Using facebook isn't about "not having the balls" to just go in for the kill. If you have the balls, then "let's get out of here", will always always trump numbers or facebook. I like to use facebook because it does a lot of the work for me, it's easy, it's very low pressure, I have an iphone and usually she has a BB, an iphone, or some other smart phone which allows her to keep in contact with me immediately. Here is how it usually goes. I ask for her facebook, sometimes she'll ask for my number "just to make sure". Sometimes, she doesn't contact me until the next or following days (Or I contact her later on and we'll set something up). Sometimes, she'll actually text me sometime during the night. She will get my number off my facebook profile.
That's one of the ways FB works for me. If a girl puts in the effort to actually find my number and contact me. That's what I prefer. That she makes the effort and I reward her for her effort rather than vice versa, like high fiving my buddies on the asses once I've "won" her phone number. FB's primary function for me though is it wings for me. I don't have to say shit about myself because my FB almost acts like a business card. There are pictures of me doing a lot of things, of places I've travelled to, me having fun with friends, my having an active social life; it has all my interests, and it has a lot of pretty girls writing on my wall and what not. The profile itself does all the bragging for me. It does all the winging.
In fact I'd say FB is a pretty apt analogy for the bar scene itself. If it's vacant and inactive and you add girls to it... You think they're gonna poke you, or message you or even comment on your wall? No. Well if other cool people, and hot chicks are doing it, then you think she's more likely to do so? Yes. It's highschool. And as we all know, highschool is life!
And yet another function FB serves is that I don't have to explain myself! Alot of the times, the girl will actually just bring up a topic someone posted on my wall, a picture of mine, a place i've been to, or an interest or whatever. "Hey warrior madness, when you went to LA did you go to Pinks? Is it true they have the best hotdogs in the world?". So, she'll probably know what my favourite colour is and my philosophy on life before I even know what her last name is. Of course you don't wanna give everything away. You don't want to be figured out so easily.
Lastly, of course you add girls only who are already interested in you or are DTF. I'd say FB is the superior method for consistent casual sex. If you go out a lot, and your facebook is made well, and you hit it off with a girl you can add her on for later. And you can build up quite a little pipeline of girls.
give girls your fb if they like you theyll contact you
Exactly how many girls have you got with this time tested method bro
actually i got talking to a really hot girl in a club and we had a fucking awesome conversation, I thought she was into me and i was like uh can i get ur name for facebook. Anyway couldn't find her...it completely sucked. I eventually googled and found her on a different website and send her a message which she received but it's taken like 2 months to even meet up with her again :/. I could have just gotten her mobile number.
On June 25 2010 08:25 Warrior Madness wrote: I feel like I have to defend the rest of the 5 people who voted for facebook.
First and foremost there isn't really a step by step thing I follow when I go out. I just like to have fun, make love to the dance floor, celebrate something. Sometimes I'll ask for their facebook 5m inutes into the conversation other times 2 hours later when we've bounced to another club/karoke bar together. And other times I'll ask for the number or she'll ask for mine. It's highly situational.
Using facebook isn't about "not having the balls" to just go in for the kill. If you have the balls, then "let's get out of here", will always always trump numbers or facebook. I like to use facebook because it does a lot of the work for me, it's easy, it's very low pressure, I have an iphone and usually she has a BB, an iphone, or some other smart phone which allows her to keep in contact with me immediately. Here is how it usually goes. I ask for her facebook, sometimes she'll ask for my number "just to make sure". Sometimes, she doesn't contact me until the next or following days (Or I contact her later on and we'll set something up). Sometimes, she'll actually text me sometime during the night. She will get my number off my facebook profile.
That's one of the ways FB works for me. If a girl puts in the effort to actually find my number and contact me. That's what I prefer. That she makes the effort and I reward her for her effort rather than vice versa, like high fiving my buddies on the asses once I've "won" her phone number. FB's primary function for me though is it wings for me. I don't have to say shit about myself because my FB almost acts like a business card. There are pictures of me doing a lot of things, of places I've travelled to, me having fun with friends, my having an active social life; it has all my interests, and it has a lot of pretty girls writing on my wall and what not. The profile itself does all the bragging for me. It does all the winging.
In fact I'd say FB is a pretty apt analogy for the bar scene itself. If it's vacant and inactive and you add girls to it... You think they're gonna poke you, or message you or even comment on your wall? No. Well if other cool people, and hot chicks are doing it, then you think she's more likely to do so? Yes. It's highschool. And as we all know, highschool is life!
And yet another function FB serves is that I don't have to explain myself! Alot of the times, the girl will actually just bring up a topic someone posted on my wall, a picture of mine, a place i've been to, or an interest or whatever. "Hey warrior madness, when you went to LA did you go to Pinks? Is it true they have the best hotdogs in the world?". So, she'll probably know what my favourite colour is and my philosophy on life before I even know what her last name is. Of course you don't wanna give everything away. You don't want to be figured out so easily.
Lastly, of course you add girls only who are already interested in you or are DTF. I'd say FB is the superior method for consistent casual sex. If you go out a lot, and your facebook is made well, and you hit it off with a girl you can add her on for later. And you can build up quite a little pipeline of girls.
give girls your fb if they like you theyll contact you
Exactly how many girls have you got with this time tested method bro
Nice manner bro Mike. It works for me 9 out of 10 times. And thanks for twisting my words. That isn't the "method". Neither is using FB the method for that matter, anymore than you use your phone to attract girls. In the end it's inconsequential whether you use the phone or FB, it's only part of the small picture. But I think FB is better for the reasons I've already stated.
EPT
