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Holy Crap, I almost died. - Page 4

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TryThis
Profile Joined February 2007
Canada1522 Posts
January 20 2010 02:57 GMT
#61
i had my life saved by a gay joke. seriously.

this summer i was working full time in a resturant. This took place on monday, right after the gay pride parade in toronto I had just cleaned out the deep fryers and all, they were nice and hot, real hot. im sure you think you see where im going with this. anyways i was standing right infront of these when my boss says "Hey doug, how was the parade on sunday?" i start walking towards him to retort with an equally witty remark, when a car smashs through the wall, knocking ovens, and about 80 litres of hot oil to the exact spot where i had been standing about two seconds ago. needless to say i counlt stop shaking for a few days, and the restaurant was shut down for the rest of the day. Those guys have mad connects to get it fixed up so quick
Dwell
Sepiraph
Profile Joined December 2009
Canada13 Posts
January 20 2010 03:15 GMT
#62
On January 20 2010 11:57 TryThis wrote:
i had my life saved by a gay joke. seriously.

this summer i was working full time in a resturant. This took place on monday, right after the gay pride parade in toronto I had just cleaned out the deep fryers and all, they were nice and hot, real hot. im sure you think you see where im going with this. anyways i was standing right infront of these when my boss says "Hey doug, how was the parade on sunday?" i start walking towards him to retort with an equally witty remark, when a car smashs through the wall, knocking ovens, and about 80 litres of hot oil to the exact spot where i had been standing about two seconds ago. needless to say i counlt stop shaking for a few days, and the restaurant was shut down for the rest of the day. Those guys have mad connects to get it fixed up so quick


Did this make the news?
muse5187
Profile Blog Joined September 2009
1125 Posts
January 20 2010 03:21 GMT
#63
I don't like this makes me think about how easy it is to go.
EniraM(CA)
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada160 Posts
January 20 2010 03:21 GMT
#64
When i was 6 years old, I was playing with a ball outside a motel area where there was a lounge and a pool. Naturally the ball ends up in the pool, and I try and lean over the side to reach it. i fall in the deep end and black out. Luckily my cousin was there sun taning and she dove in and pulled me out.

Another time, I was lying in my bed with my girlfriend and we were eating those hard candy campino things, just chilling. I remember starting to fIall asleep and I woke up with the fucking thing stuck in my throat. My parents were not home and I knew my girl didn't know how to do the heimlick or whatever that shit is called so naturally I freak out for a second. Somehow I forced the candy down my throat by swallowing really hard. It was god damn pain full, I could feel the candy go down the whole way. But I was so fucking relieved.

A more recent time, I was in the passenger seat of my buddies car headed to the casino. We were on the highway between St.Catharine's and Niagara Falls. Just before you hit Niagara there is this long slow turn off, the conditions were pretty poor with black ice and some snow, Not to mention he was driving about 120km/hr. About half way into the long turn we start to power slide, this continues for about 6-7 seconds as my buddy navigates pretty well through the turn (6-7 seconds no joke, i remember saying "wow were fucking sliding arent we? "lol yeah" he responds. As we hit the end of the turn the road starts to straighten out, he tried to balance the vehicle but we start fish tailing pretty hard. I grab the fucking dash and yell out "you can fucking do it, dude!" to keep him positive and confident. Unfourtunatly we start spinning fucking quickly, i remember seeing wall, oncoming traffic, wall, open highway, wall, oncomiong traffic, wall,....etc. Spinning like crazy we hold our breath for the inevitable contact. While spinning I can vaugely see this other car 2 lanes to our right WAY overreact and clearly pull the wheel like a retard. Now that car starts spinning toward the concrete wall. Finally we stop our death spin and hit the wall and about 5km/hr. A small jolt is all that happened to us. We both look at each other and fucking laugh at the anti-climactic ending to that retarded experience. The other car that spun and fucking whipplashed into the concrete wall was totally fucked. A woman got out of that vehicle (fucking obviously) and after realizing she was alright loses her mind saying it was out fault. lol
She was only 2 lanes away and 10 feet north of our position. Cops came, and clearly said it was her fault. So we headed to the casino. Pretty sick.

So standard, high way driving and almost drowning. Just like every one else's near death.
[NyC]HoBbes
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United States803 Posts
January 20 2010 03:24 GMT
#65
On January 20 2010 12:21 EniraM(CA) wrote:
So standard, high way driving and almost drowning. Just like every one else's near death.


Speak for yourself dude, I got shot with a fucking crossbow... =P
Where'er you walk cool gales shall fan the glade
Try
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
United States1293 Posts
January 20 2010 03:26 GMT
#66
I was doing this thing several summers ago called the "Youth Conservation Corps," where basically the state parks took high school students and paid them $500 for 3 weeks of work. Yeah, it sucked and was not worth it at all. Anyways, on one of these days after the eight hours of work, our group went to swim in the river. I saw that two of the other guys were about 200 meters upstream and I started to swim toward them. Unfortunately, I was not a strong swimmer, I was swimming against the current, and I was wearing sandals. I severely underestimated the amount of energy it took to get upstream. Halfway there, it was too late to turn back. I had completely run out of energy and was nearing exhaustion. I freaked out and started desperately splashing toward the rocks the other guys were standing on, and barely made it after going under several times. Then I had to swim back, which was not as bad.

tl;dr I almost drowned in a river.
ShaLLoW[baY]
Profile Blog Joined January 2007
Canada12499 Posts
January 20 2010 04:14 GMT
#67
On January 20 2010 09:50 Jayme wrote:
Investigated an IED in iraq

Opened the pack, the blasting cap went off but the IED didn't actually detonate. I was totally freaked the fuck out but calm at the same time.


Holy fuck dude, that's sick.
ALEXISONFIRE ARE FUCKING BACK (sAviOr for life)
TryThis
Profile Joined February 2007
Canada1522 Posts
January 20 2010 05:04 GMT
#68
On January 20 2010 12:15 Sepiraph wrote:
+ Show Spoiler +
On January 20 2010 11:57 TryThis wrote:
i had my life saved by a gay joke. seriously.

this summer i was working full time in a resturant. This took place on monday, right after the gay pride parade in toronto I had just cleaned out the deep fryers and all, they were nice and hot, real hot. im sure
you think you see where im going with this. anyways i was standing right infront of these when my boss says "Hey doug, how was the parade on sunday?" i start walking towards him to retort with an equally witty remark, when a car smashs through the wall, knocking ovens, and about 80 litres of hot oil to the exact spot where i had been standing about two seconds ago. needless to say i counlt stop shaking for a few days, and the restaurant was shut down for the rest of the day. Those guys have mad connects to get it fixed up so quick

Did this make the news?


all that happened was the guy was in the wrong gear and smashed forward. But there was a picture of the hole in a small corner of the local paper
Dwell
leomon
Profile Joined December 2008
Canada169 Posts
January 20 2010 05:36 GMT
#69
Mine was during a Skiing trip.

I was skiing down a mountain, and there were two trails, going left and right. I took the right one, and lost my balance, and fell. Next thing I know, I had half my body over the edge of the mountain, almost falling to my death. I quickly gripped the little piece of rope that they have surrounding the pathway, and I tried to quickly take off my skis while trying not to fall.

Of course, this was my VERY first time skiing, so I had no idea what to expect.
Radians
Xaanix
Profile Joined October 2009
United States109 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-01-20 05:41:54
January 20 2010 05:38 GMT
#70
when i was a toddler i got 'away' from my parents and wandered down the driveway of our apartment and onto Route 31, (county road)
this is the EXACT location on google maps:

http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&geocode=&q=route 31 east amwell nj&sll=40.400505,-74.84609&sspn=0.046212,0.066175&g=route 31n east amwell nj&ie=UTF8&hq=&hnear=Rte 31 N, East Amwell, Hunterdon, New Jersey&ll=40.384699,-74.823069&spn=0.001444,0.002068&t=h&z=19&layer=c&cbll=40.384663,-74.82297&panoid=nsBXJx9SNy6IzndEq_4v1w&cbp=12,267.94,,0,19.21

My parents found me crawling onto the shoulder of the road.... (from the driveway shown on the left) just in the nick of time.


One other time, as an adult i was doing 85 on the NJ turnpike, northbound, (on a bridge on a 3 line highway )and some absolute a$$hole in a cab went from the LEFT lane without stopping into the right lane, in about 2 seconds. No signal, and VERY sudden... the rear of his car was actually about 2 feet behind the front bumper of my car, meaning if i hadnt reacted he would have clipped my front end. I saw jerk towards my lane (i was in the middle lane) and slammed on the breaks, fishtailed into the RIGHT lane, and had him pull right in front of me, while my wheels were screeching. I cant believe i didnt lose control of the car and go right off the side of the bridge..

here's the location on gmaps

http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&geocode=&q=nj turnpike exit 16e&sll=39.488675,-75.254631&sspn=0.187326,0.264702&ie=UTF8&ll=40.757116,-74.092686&spn=0,359.998966&t=h&z=20&layer=c&cbll=40.757116,-74.092571&panoid=Qx9sWuP80_tJISjDKlnviQ&cbp=12,89.77,,0,13.74

our deeds have traveled far what we have been is what we are - Dream Theater - SFAM
nastyyy
Profile Joined December 2009
United States262 Posts
January 20 2010 05:43 GMT
#71
I was choking on a piece of microwave pizza once. That sucked.
one time
Fontong
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United States6454 Posts
January 20 2010 05:49 GMT
#72
On January 20 2010 11:13 [NyC]HoBbes wrote:
My school, like many schools, holds a huge science-fair type thing near the end of every year. One of my friends decided last year that for physics, he was going to build an authentic medieval crossbow. One fine spring day, he decided to test this crossbow (thankfully without metal tips on the bolts) on our football field. The door between the inside of the school and the athletic field has no windows. To prevent from shooting anyone, he had placed a sign on the inside of said door that read "CAUTION, EXPERIMENT IN PROGRESS, DO NOT USE." Somehow, over the course of the day, either this sign had fallen off, or some asshole thought it would be funny to move it. Either way, I opened the door to be greeted with a crossbow bolt to the chest. This bolt proceeded to do what crossbow bolts are designed to do, and puncture my chest. Thankfully, the bolt was entirely made of wood, and hit a rib, meaning I got away with only a highly painful, but not dangerous puncture wound. An inch off, though, and crossbow bolt+internal organ would have been a very bad outcome indeed.

Wow, do you have an epic scar?

If some guy is ever like "I got stabbed..blah blah here's the scar" you can utterly 1UP him
[SECRET FONT] "Dragoon bunker"
YPang
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
United States4024 Posts
January 20 2010 05:52 GMT
#73
On January 20 2010 07:37 xDark.Carnivalx wrote:
every time i got into a car that my sister was driving. that's a lot of near death experiences considering she drove me to school/from school for an entire year of high school.

i still have nightmares to this day.

sMi.Gladstone | BW: B high| SC2: gold T_T
[NyC]HoBbes
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United States803 Posts
January 20 2010 05:52 GMT
#74
On January 20 2010 14:49 Fontong wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 20 2010 11:13 [NyC]HoBbes wrote:
My school, like many schools, holds a huge science-fair type thing near the end of every year. One of my friends decided last year that for physics, he was going to build an authentic medieval crossbow. One fine spring day, he decided to test this crossbow (thankfully without metal tips on the bolts) on our football field. The door between the inside of the school and the athletic field has no windows. To prevent from shooting anyone, he had placed a sign on the inside of said door that read "CAUTION, EXPERIMENT IN PROGRESS, DO NOT USE." Somehow, over the course of the day, either this sign had fallen off, or some asshole thought it would be funny to move it. Either way, I opened the door to be greeted with a crossbow bolt to the chest. This bolt proceeded to do what crossbow bolts are designed to do, and puncture my chest. Thankfully, the bolt was entirely made of wood, and hit a rib, meaning I got away with only a highly painful, but not dangerous puncture wound. An inch off, though, and crossbow bolt+internal organ would have been a very bad outcome indeed.

Wow, do you have an epic scar?

If some guy is ever like "I got stabbed..blah blah here's the scar" you can utterly 1UP him


lol, there is a pretty big sort of dent/dot there, it's always fantastic for when people are telling any kind of scar story.
Where'er you walk cool gales shall fan the glade
~_~
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Canada239 Posts
January 20 2010 05:55 GMT
#75
On January 20 2010 11:13 [NyC]HoBbes wrote:
My school, like many schools, holds a huge science-fair type thing near the end of every year. One of my friends decided last year that for physics, he was going to build an authentic medieval crossbow. One fine spring day, he decided to test this crossbow (thankfully without metal tips on the bolts) on our football field. The door between the inside of the school and the athletic field has no windows. To prevent from shooting anyone, he had placed a sign on the inside of said door that read "CAUTION, EXPERIMENT IN PROGRESS, DO NOT USE." Somehow, over the course of the day, either this sign had fallen off, or some asshole thought it would be funny to move it. Either way, I opened the door to be greeted with a crossbow bolt to the chest. This bolt proceeded to do what crossbow bolts are designed to do, and puncture my chest. Thankfully, the bolt was entirely made of wood, and hit a rib, meaning I got away with only a highly painful, but not dangerous puncture wound. An inch off, though, and crossbow bolt+internal organ would have been a very bad outcome indeed.


why couldn't he have just picked a spot to shoot at that wasnt the door? maybe a wall? wtf
EsX_Raptor
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States2801 Posts
January 20 2010 05:56 GMT
#76
Me and a friend at a young age broke into the house of an malandro (some kind of poor thief) and destroyed everything in there with highly explosive fireworks. When we went out the house he was right there at the entrance pointing at us with a rifle/shotgun (can't remember) and pulled the trigger on us, but there was just a click. We jolted and got the fuck out of there as fast as possible towards a guard post stationed close by. I never saw him again.
StorrZerg
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States13919 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-01-20 06:02:01
January 20 2010 06:01 GMT
#77
On January 20 2010 07:33 DrTJEckleburg wrote:
My brother and I had to bail out(he lost control traveling south due to extremely high winds) of our family Cessna 152 four years ago at about 2000 feet and my parachute didn't open all the way. Somehow I just broke my left ankle.


holy fuck thats crazy
do you live in Alaska?
Hwaseung Oz fan for life. Swing out, always swing out.
bluegoo
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States141 Posts
January 20 2010 06:04 GMT
#78
mine was when i was in india, crossing a road, i got hit by a lorry (truck) but luckily the angle was not direct and i kinda just got thrown off to the side. i dropped my lunch tho T_T and my side hurt like HELL. but i was fine. one step before i probably woulda died.
war3 player learning sc
Lovin
Profile Joined May 2009
Denmark812 Posts
January 20 2010 06:10 GMT
#79
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience
AKA SuddenSalad
DrTJEckleburg
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
United States1080 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-01-20 07:14:47
January 20 2010 07:10 GMT
#80
On January 20 2010 15:01 StorrZerg wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 20 2010 07:33 DrTJEckleburg wrote:
My brother and I had to bail out(he lost control traveling south due to extremely high winds) of our family Cessna 152 four years ago at about 2000 feet and my parachute didn't open all the way. Somehow I just broke my left ankle.


holy fuck thats crazy
do you live in Alaska?


Negative, this occurred over the Tehachapi mountains in California.

The ironic part is a kid I went to high school with(didn't know him personally) died with one of his relatives in the same area while flying south about two years later, they lost control of their plane also but did not or could not bailout and time and both were killed.

As a final edit I still want everyone to know I still love flying, aviation, and will eventually get my license once I stop being a cheapskate.
Im pretty good at whistling with my hands, especially when Im holding a whistle.
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