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On November 20 2009 01:11 Dr.Lettuce wrote:
I don't mean any offence by this, but I don't think your biggest problem is finding a hobby. It sounds like you've tried so many diferent things that eventually you'd find one thing that motivated you. I honestly think your problem lies within your own head. But then the problem is I have nothing to suggest about that, maybe you need to sit down with parents or a really close friend (cliche, I know.) because they know you much better than any therapist ever will, and just confess your darkest deepest problems and try and get to a route. Sounds like you have a psychological problem that's just grown untouched and maybe perhaps you don't even realize you have a condition.
Honestly I meant no offence by this post at all, but I would have said this to my own best friend if he was sitting here.
Which you never really had...
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You should really try hanging around in parks and enjoy nature in general. I used to be depressed as hell (although not so severe as the OP) but after I switched universities I had to pass by a park everyday to go to school. I have no idea but it's refreshing even just walking through, even if it takes a minute. There's mothers and their children, office workers eating lunch, people bringing their dogs to the dog park inside the park, or people feeding the squirrels. It just randomly boosts your mood to see stuff like this and it helped me a ton.
Maybe you should get a pet like a dog? It might boost your mood to have a companion.
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On November 15 2009 11:07 Hyperbola wrote:
Dude, just be way more social. Make lots of friends and get a girlfriend. Set a goal for yourself and work your way to achieving it. Have a purpose in life that is greater than what you do day to day. Find yourself a hobby or two that gives you a positive feeling or an adrenaline rush, like surfing or mountain biking. Just go out there and try everything.
Do you really think hes in a position of being able to "be more social"? The problem is most likely a lack of exposure to people who are positive thinkers/close friends.
Op how old are you? Do you live alone?
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start talking more to your friends hanging out with them and talking about whatever...
Me and my friends used to go to starbucks and kick it there till 1 am talking about nothing lol...
Then again music or any kinda hobby that gets you relaxed would be cool  I compose on piano so sometimes i get up at midnight and go play piano and kinda forget about my problems...
It's not something that's gonna happen overnight but you'll start feeling better...
Also one of your friends has to be the party boy/girl type so pick a weekend and go party man, even if it's not your thing you'll have fun ;]
Don't get stressed about not having a gf... those things just happen. It's better to be by yourself than on a bad relationship for however long you can stand it  GL & HF
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One suggestion is start doing things for other people. People are happiest when they're being social and helping others improve and do well. I recommend volunteering and helping others. A study was published in the NEJM that showed that money DOES buy happiness, but ONLY if that money is spent helping others. Spending time improving not your life, but the lives of others can help dramatically. When patients start developing symptoms of depression, doctors have a standard way of helping them begin to improve. It uses an acroym called SPEAK
S Schedule (counteracts motivational deficits)
P Pleasurable activities (counteracts anhedonia)
E Exercise (short term mood enhancer; endorphins)
A Assertiveness (counteracts doubts of own judgment and opinions)
K Kind thoughts about oneself (counteracts negative irrational thoughts)
Try doing these for you self. I hope you improve. Let me know if you want any more "semi" professional advice
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Baba Yetu
This one always makes me feel calm and happy.
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Get a drumset and smack the crap out of it.
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I was thinking about this again after I posted earlier today and I would think that a lot of my positive mood comes from listening to a lot of happy, upbeat, uplifting music. I listen to trance and that might not be your thing but, try finding really happy and fun songs to listen to.
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Burned Toast
Canada2040 Posts
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Honestly, dude, life can be a fucking miserable and lonely experience. Oftentimes, when things are going the best, you can still feel the worst.
There are a multitude of organizations, religious and otherwise, that exist only to exploit and profit from the fear, hopelessness and desperation that accompany the human condition. Don't bother with any of them.
What makes life worth living is the fact that there are others around to share your misery. The connections that you make with friends, lovers and family are sources of solace.
We're all in this horrific, ugly world together. Human existence is either an absolutely hilarious practical joke by a God suffering from extreme boredom, or an absurd coincidence.
Either way, the only thing you can do when you're really hurting, when you have no fucking clue what to do, is to have a drink and laugh at it all. No one's really getting a leg up on anyone else. We're all going to pay taxes (probably horrifically exorbitant ones if you're living in Scandinavia) and we're all going to die.
Don't be a douchebag. Don't be a liar. Be a friend to your friends and a husband to your wife. That's all any of us can do.
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Dont live by a rules and do whatever you wanted to do, as long as it is legal.
and never mind too much on criticism. If it is untrue, DISREGARD it. If it is unfair, STAY CALM. If it is ignorant, SMILE. If it is justified, LEARN from it. Best wish.
p/s: and dont forget to read this awesome books too: David deAngelo
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iNfeRnaL
Germany1908 Posts
This thread is pretty damn depressing.
And believe me, I'm a negative person on myself, but this is beyond my imagination of negativeness.
I really wish you get out of this, don't have good ideas on how to tho, as I'm quite negative on myself as I already stated.
I guess its pretty much true about needing a lot of people + conversations tho, because whenever I have some good company I feel good etc bla instead of being negative.
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On November 20 2009 02:29 ProoM wrote:Show nested quote +On November 20 2009 01:11 Dr.Lettuce wrote:
I don't mean any offence by this, but I don't think your biggest problem is finding a hobby. It sounds like you've tried so many diferent things that eventually you'd find one thing that motivated you. I honestly think your problem lies within your own head. But then the problem is I have nothing to suggest about that, maybe you need to sit down with parents or a really close friend (cliche, I know.) because they know you much better than any therapist ever will, and just confess your darkest deepest problems and try and get to a route. Sounds like you have a psychological problem that's just grown untouched and maybe perhaps you don't even realize you have a condition.
Honestly I meant no offence by this post at all, but I would have said this to my own best friend if he was sitting here. Which you never really had...
This makes me a sad panda 
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Lower your expectaions to life.
This sounds so wrong, but it's so right.
I've tried to explain what i mean - but the words are not comming to me. the best i can do is say when a day is better than expected it will make you happy.
Also go out and seek opportunities. (Seems like you've done this with the hobby thing)
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I didn't read the whole thread, so I don't know if this has been mentioned yet. You said you did get some enjoyment out of animal watching specifically things like squirrels, cats, and other small, cute, furry animals. Have you ever thought about getting one as a pet? Something like a cat, bunny, or hamster?
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i think that what you do, what you aim for and what you achieve will never really fulfill you...
most people seem to have accepted this, (aka, stop giving a fuck, life's a bitch - make of it what you can etc)
God has always been the only thing which can fulfil me, we're all created for a purpose, and he is that purpose..
this discussion so far made me think of this:
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ecclesiastes 1&version=NIV
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On November 20 2009 11:21 iNfeRnaL wrote:
This thread is pretty damn depressing.
And believe me, I'm a negative person on myself, but this is beyond my imagination of negativeness.
I really wish you get out of this, don't have good ideas on how to tho, as I'm quite negative on myself as I already stated.
I guess its pretty much true about needing a lot of people + conversations tho, because whenever I have some good company I feel good etc bla instead of being negative.
That is exactly how I felt.
Good luck man.
I hope you find something that makes you happy.
I was shit miserable (gf or not) until I was 21 just because of my outlook. After my son was born I was lucky enough to under go alot of changes. I think you need to find a way to push yourself out of your isolation chamber and find people to share conversations - food and music with.
All of them made me appreciate other people AND my own time much more.
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A school mate pointed out something amazing to me yesterday. I've always like Chopin but when I heard this young man play him it strcuk me in a whole other way. He literally feels the music through his fingers.
Yundi li plays Chopin, Nocturno op. 9 no. 66
I thought I'd make myself useful and post it here since I enjoyed it a lot.
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EPT
