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Only Until Midnight

Forum Index > Final Edits
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HonestTea *
Profile Blog Joined December 2005
5007 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-11-05 06:41:03
November 01 2007 10:44 GMT
#1
[image loading]

Cover image by zxk3


What do it mean when you dream that you fallin'
What do it mean when you dream that you ballin'
What do it mean when you never dream at all then
And you don't really know cause you can't recall them
It's sorta fly you get a chance to say hi to
People you never got a chance to say bye to
Maybe you could pull em up outta your dreams
Into real life, if you try to
So close, but so far
And so far, no cigar
We can't dwell on the past all we got is today

— Kanye West


Only Until Midnight
by HonestTea
TeamLiquid: Final Edits



If you haven't noticed, the following events happened in the last month.

Warning: If you are pregnant or elderly, it is highly recommended that you do not continue reading.

— July was eliminated from MSL by a Terran who, three months ago, I did not know existed.

— GoRush was taken out by the same motherfucking Terran who took out July.

— Nada's OSL/MSL losing streak has now entered double digits.

— Oov, once unbeatable at TvT, can't beat any non-Nada Terran.

— Garimto was rustier than Chernobyl in his comeback loss.

— Yellow has become a glorified cheerleader, which led to a thread aptly (yet sadly) titled "What does Yellow do?" in the Forum. (What does he do? He's just a fan with the best seat in the house.)

— Boxer lost against Magma, a second tier Zerg on a third tier team. Not only did he lose, but he lost while attempting proxy rax to bunker rush. Of all people, Boxer should be able to do that one-handed, right? NOPE! It was the most pathetic bunker rush ever. Magma (who?) just ran his speedlings past the poorly built contain, straight to Boxer's main for the GG. (At that moment, Yellow, who is watching the match at home while listening to Avril Lavigne's new CD, turns off the TV. He flings a bottle of cognac to the wall, where it shatters. He then crawls into bed, hides under the blankets, draws his knees close to his chest, and weeps).

— Reach showed us vintage 2003-style PvZ as he put up an uninspiring display en route to crashing down to offline qualifiers.

You guys still there? Everyone ok? Ok.

You know what the real crazy thing is though? I wasn't hurt much by any of those events. No, I'm too numb now. I have wrapped myself in so much cynicism and doubt that it doesn't hurt me that my old heroes, these iconic towers of progaming, are now losing left and right. I don't wish upon any stars no more, I don't talk to my imaginary friends no more, and I don't believe in the old StarCraft heroes no more. I can't afford to.

[image loading]


This league now has many wonderful players like Bisu, Savior, and Hwasin. Anytime, Stork, Free, Iris... hell - all you need to do is check out the Power Rank to see that there is a great amount of talent and character in the League. With so many exciting players giving their all, serving us spectacular matches every week, I just can't afford to hitch my hopes on the older generation. I'm not going to teach my grandmother how to send a text message, and I'm not going to wait for Kingdom to return to the starleagues.

Blame the influx of young 'uns. Blame Kespa and the ridiculous five-days-a-week Proleague. Blame growing up. Blame the military. Blame Rekrul. Blame whatever you want. But the reality is that the old guard are simply not competitive any more. And that's the truth, Ruth.

But the real, hidden, so-deep-within-my-heart-I-don't-want-to-face-it-truth is that... even though I joke about it, even though I laugh at his pathetic PvZ... under all the snark, under the sarcasm, beneath the doubt and the sneering and the low expectations is a tiny bit of HOPE that I'm trying to ignore and when Reach starts to win again it will slowly melt all my cynicism until he makes the quarterfinals, then the semis, and I will drop all pretensions and allow myself to wholeheartedly cheer for Reach

[image loading]


But for now?

No. My Protoss hopes are with Bisu and Fall!Anytime. Instead of Yellow, Savior. Instead of Boxer, Sea.

Once upon a time, it wasn't like that. I used to believe in Yellow and Reach, just like I used to believe in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. I used to believe, no, I knew that Yellow, Reach and Boxer were the Justice League, and whoever they were playing that week were evil enslaving zombies from outer space. When Boxer showed me quantum physics, when Yellow went for the neck and didn't let go, when Reach ran straight into a containment and warriored his way through, I would feel blessed: my faith justified, my fandom re-affirmed. But as I watched more games, I learned to see in terms of strategies and angles, to watch each match as a fine-tuned exercise of unit supply and APM. I began to see the flow of the game in terms of management and threat.

I'm glad that I know the game better now. I'm a better fan now that I can objectively judge each players' strengths and weaknesses.

And it saves me a lot of grief. Why? Because those motherfuckers broke my heart. Not in the way that Yukie Chang broke my heart in 10th grade, but more like the way my mom broke my heart when she told me, "No HonestTea, you can't walk through that wardrobe because there is no Narnia." (YOU MAY HAVE GAVE BIRTH TO ME BUT I KNOW YOU ARE LYING! LYING!) When I saw Boxer screw up that bunker rush, I had to stand up, leave my desk, and go outside to look up at the sky. That was just because the general principle of it was so damn sad. Imagine how broken I would have been if I actually was rooting for Boxer.

Because when I see Yellow it reminds me that July might never win that Golden Mouse, that I may never see IntoTheRainbow again. It reminds me that someday, even Savior and Bisu will stop being bulletproof. Yellow's dumb presence at the KTF bench every game only serves to haunt me, an all-too-obvious example of mortality. He is a breathing, walking, memento mori.

[image loading]


I mean, this is fucking Yellow we're talking about here! We need to step outside for a moment, because we should remember that once upon a time, Yellow was straight unstoppable. It's amazing how easy it is to forget, especially these days, but dude once ripped everyone else to shreds like Wolverine+War Machine. He was the only hope for Zerg when it once seemed impossible, the last defender of an entire race before the likes of July and Savior. Now I have to watch him smile like an idiot on the KTF bench?

What really makes me sad is when I think back to their recent last hurrahs. Boxer, Yellow, Reach... I find that I don't look back at the glorious moments, moments like Yellow winning King of Kings. No, I think back to Shinhan Season 1, when Yellow came back from nowhere, tore through the group stages and climbed to the semis only to lose to Casy in five close games. I didn't realize it then, but I may have been watching Yellow's last combustion. He was burning up all he had left, and I didn't know.

[image loading]


Which brings my attention to Nal_Ra. As we all know, Nal_Ra is in the MSL quarterfinals, and he will face Xellos to move to the next stage. This may be his last stand, his Battle of Thermopylae. He's going to break my heart too. And it's going to be worse than ever before, because of all the old heads, Nal_Ra was the one who could last forever. He just understood the game better than any other pro.

Boxer was innovative, but his genius was exclusive for himself. Everyone else had no hope of emulating him. Yellow's trademark Storm Zerg style was more of an attitude than a strategy. Reach was man of courage, not a thinker. But Nal_Ra... If Boxer's the Einstein kind of genius, then Nal_Ra is Thomas Alva Edison. His accomplishments include:
—standardizing forge-first FE PvZ
—standardizing the basic PvT pattern during 2004-2005 (with assist from ForU)
—teaching other Protoss how to optimize cannon rushes.
—and so many more little things.

Nal_Ra gave the rest of his race brain-bursting yet learnable build orders. He is a teacher who demonstrated his genius in simple steps.

[image loading]


With that same genius, he has lasted longer than his peers. He is still fighting in the MSL, still fighting for relevancy. He is forcing me to cheer for him. And despite my best instincts, despite all the defense mechanisms I have built to this point, I find myself rooting for him once again.

If Bisu beats Savior, I will jump up and cheer, I might do a fist pump, and I'll say things like "Ha! You still cannot solve Bisu's amazing multitask skills! Yeah! Corsair sucka!!" I will be happy. My happiness will be greater than if I had watched a good movie, but it will be less than if I had bought a new pair of fresh sneakers. Bisu winning in the finals will make me content.

But the undeniable truth is, if Nal_Ra somehow beats Xellos, then beats Bisu, then beats Savior, I will be screaming NINTENDO SIXTY FOOUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR~! at the top of my lungs, once again a child on Christmas morning. A child who is simply happy to be at that exact moment when everything makes sense, and all is right with the world.

But it's not going to happen. I have to convince myself that it's not going to happen.

I don't know if progaming is sport. Honestly, I don't give a shit. What I do know is that basic concept of spectator sports is the same concept behind any high-level competition of skill, whether it be gymnastics, chess, or making love. Which is to give everybody a level playing field, so that the player or team with the most skill prevails. Thus, sports is too communist and too capitalist for me to believe in miracles any more.

Sports have taught me that in the end, the higher skill will prevail. Sure, there will be a few upsets, but in the long run the better guys are gonna win. The underdog might catch the favorite on a bad day, or he might pull his shit together for the game of his life, or maybe he sees that 99% perfect girl in the stands which awakes something higher within him and takes him to the astral plane. But in the long run? In a tournament? Clock will always strike 12, the luxurious limo turns back into a pumpkin, the chauffeur turns back into Master Splinter, and your Vera Wang turns back into the dirty rags you were using to scrub the floor.

[image loading]


I'd rather that Nal_Ra float away after achieving his personal brilliance, like Johnny Livingston the Seagull. Instead, he will break my heart, joining his other old school brethren, and linger to haunt me.

Sports has taught me that miracles don't really happen. If your skill is worse, your ass will get beat. And if you stick around, hoping for that last flash of glory, you'll just get beat worse. Rocky Balboa is fiction. Deuk-Ku Kim is non-fiction.







.
.
.



...but sports has also taught me that perhaps, just perhaps, an aging vet can keep it together and elevate his play, sustain it for just a long enough stretch of time, and...

[image loading]


What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.



[image loading]


Or does it explode?

returns upon momentous occasions.
Hot_Bid
Profile Blog Joined October 2003
Braavos36374 Posts
November 02 2007 07:06 GMT
#2
Nice article.
@Hot_Bid on Twitter - ESPORTS life since 2010 - http://i.imgur.com/U2psw.png
IntoTheWow
Profile Blog Joined May 2004
is awesome32271 Posts
November 02 2007 07:10 GMT
#3
I just watched the dudes awaiting something and then reach appears LOL

Ill read it all now. Im sure it will be awesome, like all your articles.


brb! i need a hot cup of tea while reading this.
Moderator<:3-/-<
aeronexus
Profile Joined June 2007
United States392 Posts
November 02 2007 07:10 GMT
#4
seems like these guys need to learn when to retire... Ray Bourque after winning the Stanely Cup?
10 points!
crescendo
Profile Joined April 2007
United States140 Posts
November 02 2007 07:24 GMT
#5
There's still hope! I have faith in the Dreamer and all the others to somehow come back... somehow... no, seriously...

Devil Toss, where are you? =(

(and WTF happened, Reach/Yellow? If you guys can't make leagues, then at least kick that Zergbong guy out and bring back the old school 2v2 team for Proleague plz <_< )

Wonderful article, full of nostalgia and just brilliantly written. All I can really say is:

Veterans fighting~! v -.- v
this mic is live
Last Romantic
Profile Blog Joined June 2006
United States20661 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-11-02 07:30:53
November 02 2007 07:28 GMT
#6
Damn you, old school. Damn you, Path of Night. Damn you, pokerstars.

Yet, as long as I watch progaming, I will maintain my pride and faith in the old boys.

Yes, it will break my heart, but I just can't love these new gamers.

Jaedong excites me, vaguely. That's about it. When the last of the old guard retires, I'll probably out with him.
ㅋㄲㅈㅁ
LOcDowN
Profile Joined February 2003
United States1014 Posts
November 02 2007 07:29 GMT
#7
Very nice article, this is why I love TL.net. Thank you.
Zelniq
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
United States7166 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-11-02 07:45:25
November 02 2007 07:43 GMT
#8
holy amazing article, I enjoyed every word.
also,
the chauffeur turns back into Master Splinter

hahahahaha

I STILL BELIEVE IN YOU PHOTOSYNTHETIC TOSS
ModeratorBlame yourself or God
mahnini
Profile Blog Joined October 2005
United States6862 Posts
November 02 2007 07:47 GMT
#9
Reminded me of:+ Show Spoiler +
Do not go gentle into that good night - Dylan Thomas

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

I love your writing HonestTea. KANG MIN FIGHTING!~
the world's a playground. you know that when you're a kid, but somewhere along the way everyone forgets it.
citrus
Profile Joined March 2007
United States158 Posts
November 02 2007 07:52 GMT
#10
What a well written piece. This issue goes unspoken so often, and for once it's been brought up in such a well-presented way. Kudos, man, you really touched on this subject so brilliantly.
Last Romantic
Profile Blog Joined June 2006
United States20661 Posts
November 02 2007 08:00 GMT
#11
On November 02 2007 16:47 mahnini wrote:
Reminded me of:+ Show Spoiler +
Do not go gentle into that good night - Dylan Thomas

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

I love your writing HonestTea. KANG MIN FIGHTING!~


Aside from the Thomas poem, it also reminded me of the early speech Satan gives in Paradise Lost.

Really well-written article ^^; conveys many of my emotions as well.
ㅋㄲㅈㅁ
koryano321
Profile Joined June 2007
United States309 Posts
November 02 2007 08:11 GMT
#12
hey honesttea, awesome article. i was cracking up so hard. but oh yeah, i was curious. what did you feel when you saw yellow lose to that dt rush against anytime in so1??
Scorpio2012 wrote: i guess god is about as useful as a protoss scout
noojOh
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
United States755 Posts
November 02 2007 08:21 GMT
#13
great article
i agree with what u say about nal_ra
he is one of the smartest progamers
whenever he loses a match, no matter how good the match is supposed to be, I can't bring myself to watch it
i hope that he can beat xellos
and altho ur article states that he prob won't, I BELIEVE

EVERYONE BELIEVE IN KANG MIN
ftw
HonestTea *
Profile Blog Joined December 2005
5007 Posts
November 02 2007 08:22 GMT
#14
On November 02 2007 17:11 koryano321 wrote:
hey honesttea, awesome article. i was cracking up so hard. but oh yeah, i was curious. what did you feel when you saw yellow lose to that dt rush against anytime in so1??


I was totally enthralled by the strategic brilliance and Anytime's daring. The way he executed that, even using a goon to lure away Yellow's zerglings, was inspired.

That was a big moment in me becoming an Anytime fan.

Because as I said, I'm a fan on a higher level now. If Anytime does something great, I'll become his fan -- even if he does it to Yellow.

returns upon momentous occasions.
koryano321
Profile Joined June 2007
United States309 Posts
November 02 2007 08:30 GMT
#15
goood shit honesttea. i miss that OSL... it was filled with old school players and new players... fucking amazing watching anytime climb over everyone to get to the top. i just pray that anytime doesnt reach this point where he becomes a non entity like yellow T-T
Scorpio2012 wrote: i guess god is about as useful as a protoss scout
a-game
Profile Blog Joined December 2004
Canada5085 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-11-02 09:36:38
November 02 2007 09:31 GMT
#16
very nice article

i just love having "superpowers" like savior was for a while, now bisu. looking foward to see who will dominate the next age, who will dethrone bisu, or will he dethrone himself and there will be no superpower for a while? and if it will be a terran superpower i hope he will not be just a gay macro whore and will actually reinvent the terran style

p.s. seeing as people are making poem comparisons, this articles theme reminded me most of "nothing gold can stay"
you wouldnt feel that way if it was your magical sword of mantouchery that got stolen - racebannon • I am merely guest #13,678!
evanthebouncy!
Profile Blog Joined June 2006
United States12796 Posts
November 02 2007 09:32 GMT
#17
Man I rootted for rA since forever, hope he can make it. Yes he's the smartest one, he always smiles when he loses, ever so calm...
PRESIDENT GUANG!!
Life is run, it is dance, it is fast, passionate and BAM!, you dance and sing and booze while you can for now is the time and time is mine. Smile and laugh when still can for now is the time and soon you die!
MuShu
Profile Joined March 2005
United States3223 Posts
November 02 2007 10:13 GMT
#18
Nice article Honesttea, couldn't stop reading till the end.

I'll never stop believing in rA.
red.venom
Profile Joined October 2002
United States4651 Posts
November 02 2007 10:55 GMT
#19
This article sums up a lot of how I feel about progaming lately. Its sad to see all these old players failing.. The Garimto thing really just, I dont know what to say.There was a flash of brilliance followed by the cold reality. But I still hope to see more of him I guess.

I hope to see more Yellow. Without these old players, these heavyweight names I honestly dont care about pro SC nearly as much.

I was noting the other day on TLPD; yesterday actually, that so many of the current top competitors(Not the champs, just who just the ones on fire at the moment) are ALL roughly 17 years old.

I remember learning to play SC in 01 when I was 18 and when I finally saw some pro matches on broodwar.com I noticed most of the pros were a year or two older than me. Its weird how time has actually reversed and the players got younger now despite the game aging so much. But for me there is little spirit in most of them, no.. Defining characteristics. Sure some have character, I love Savior, his game style says "abusive" to me. Guy just does what it takes to win. And I think quite a few of the rookies are technically amazing to watch play. But there is just nothing to them, everyone plays the same.

I remember back when I was watching I believe the first OSL I actually watched as it happened.. I dont even remember which one it was, the one after Coca-Cola OSL. People were calling Sinji_NT the magic zerg. He was known for using defilers and queens vsP and T when no one really used those units except for very specific strategies or end-game cuteness.

He played a couple games in that OSL, but one I can remember right now was vs Garimto on Neo Vertigo. Dude was playing main+nat+min only and made just this mixed force. He had queens and shit, it was interesting. The whole time he was defending as they spawned at very close positions. He lost that game, Garimto harassed him a lot with storm drops if I remember right and eventually overpowered him. But fuck its been 5 maybe near 6 years and I still fuckin remember it. I remember many of those games from that Starleague vividly, its like some players just had a style. Hell at the time even the players who played boringly like theMarine were interesting because they were the few that played boringly. Now everyone plays boringly, ive played for years and can pretty much play boringly too at a moderately high level.

But despite playing and viewing thousands and thousands of games of Starcraft.. I still hope for that magic that got me into it way back. Hope for someone to show me something i havent seen before and be amazed all over again.

Thanks for your cool write up on the subject
Broom
alffla
Profile Blog Joined November 2005
Hong Kong20321 Posts
November 02 2007 11:10 GMT
#20
GrEAT ARTICLE HONESTEA

so sad to read >_<

but i really do agree about ra

he's the only old that keeps appearing and making it past ro16 and shit, just doesnt have enough to win a starleague. i mean last few seasons he's been battling it out witht savior at least twice in bo3s or bo5s

GOGO 강민!!!! <3<3<3
Graphicssavior[gm] : What is a “yawn” rape ;; Masumune - It was the year of the pig for those fucking defilers. Chill - A clinic you say? okum: SC without Korean yelling is like porn without sex. konamix: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY!
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