|
So I'm walking out of the cafeteria and felt like taking a dump. I go in, and just as I sit on the toilet seat my dick decides to dip into the water and I go "FUCK."
Honestly I swear there should be some sort of trick to help you avoid this crap, it doesn't happen with every toilet I sit on but with a good number of them it does and it pisses me off a lot.
I've tried throwing in some paper beforehand which kind of helps but when the time your shit's gotta come out happens it all just sits there on top of the paper and things get even worse.
Ever happened to you?
|
A little bit disturbing since I am currently eating ...
|
|
... wait, what? is the water that high? No, it never happens to me...
... disturbing...
|
|
wow, it must suck having such a huge cock (or no testicles to stop it from hanging straight down)
|
you have what, 20 inch dick?
|
Is this some covert way to brag about your penis? xD.
|
hahahaha
Couldn't say that happened to me man, maybe you guys have some weird toilets in Venezuela.
|
On January 23 2009 04:13 CrimsonLotus wrote: Is this some covert way to brag about your penis? xD.
lol
|
Yeah, it must be a different kind of toilet. Otherwise you might want to consider starting a porn actor carreer.
|
You know it sometimes touches the rim of the toilet (if you're not careful or sitting in the wrong position .. like too much in the front) I don't think it's possible for my dick to dip into the water - unless there's high tide
|
ROTFL
It must be the toilet, never seen that one posted on the pic o,o
On January 23 2009 04:13 CrimsonLotus wrote: Is this some covert way to brag about your penis? xD. I just knew someone would say that xD only persons I brag about my penis to are the chicks that lay on my bed.
edit:
On January 23 2009 04:20 Konni wrote: You know it sometimes touches the rim of the toilet (if you're not careful or sitting in the wrong position .. like too much in the front) I don't think it's possible for my dick to dip into the water - unless there's high tide Yeah that's happened and it damn sucks -.-
|
On January 23 2009 04:20 Konni wrote: You know it sometimes touches the rim of the toilet (if you're not careful or sitting in the wrong position .. like too much in the front) I don't think it's possible for my dick to dip into the water - unless there's high tide Yeah, I'm guessing he was referring to his dick touching the rim or the wall of the toilet and just used the word "dip" wrongly.
...or he should start a porn career like Scorch said.
Edit: or it's just a different toilet...probably should've thought of that first.
|
does your toilet look something like this?
|
LOOOOLLLLL
5/5
would read again
|
Very disturbing I must say.
|
iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
what a stupid fucking blog. OBVIOUSLY you are trying to fucking imply your dick is bigger than a fucking horse.
NOBODY takes a shit and gets their dick dipped in the water. That'd be like a 10 inch or bigger dick flaccid
fucking hell man.
|
Wow dude i've never seen a toilet like that either o,o
Please enlighten me with your extensive knowledge on more of those!
edit: lol inc. it's the toilet man. I'm a bring a ruler and literally measure up the distance in between the top of the water and the toilet seat.
|
|
Perhaps you should stop useing lego toliets and start useing people sized ones.
|
Poor kid that made that is stupid that book is upsidedown t-t
|
lol he didn't even pull his pants down!
|
Wow what kind of toilets do you have in Venezuela? Are you sure you're not just squatting into a river bed or something... Seriously, my dick never comes close to the water. Like ever, not fucking once.
inb4 "YOU HAVE A SMALL PENIS LOL"
|
Snet
United States3573 Posts
|
iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
I hate it when i sit at my computer and post on this forum when suddenly my dick launches out of my pants and makes me type incorrectly.. starts mashing ont h legnskzsnmklbf oh fuck there we go again.
|
Life must be so hard having a Ron Jeremy dick. I feel for you.
-_____-;;
|
On January 23 2009 04:38 {88}iNcontroL wrote: I hate it when i sit at my computer and post on this forum when suddenly my dick launches out of my pants and makes me type incorrectly.. starts mashing ont h legnskzsnmklbf oh fuck there we go again. rofl inc wins again
|
On January 23 2009 04:38 {88}iNcontroL wrote: I hate it when i sit at my computer and post on this forum when suddenly my dick launches out of my pants and makes me type incorrectly.. starts mashing ont h legnskzsnmklbf oh fuck there we go again. XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
edit: it only happens on certain public toilets though.
|
Belgium8305 Posts
hahaha imagine the horrified look on everyone's face when the venezuelan kid suddenly started taking a dump in the drinking fountain
|
seriously, i hate it when i'm walking and i trip over my own penis.
|
what in the name of all is holy is this?
stop shitting in the urinal, it's bad mmmkay?
|
Northern Ireland22201 Posts
"My penis is so long if you flop it across the keyboard, it'll reach from A all the way to Z."
|
On January 23 2009 04:38 {88}iNcontroL wrote: I hate it when i sit at my computer and post on this forum when suddenly my dick launches out of my pants and makes me type incorrectly.. starts mashing ont h legnskzsnmklbf oh fuck there we go again.
i had to laugh out loud at that one hah
|
On January 23 2009 04:38 {88}iNcontroL wrote: I hate it when i sit at my computer and post on this forum when suddenly my dick launches out of my pants and makes me type incorrectly.. starts mashing ont h legnskzsnmklbf oh fuck there we go again.
AHAHAHA inC just won this thread epicness
|
On January 23 2009 04:38 {88}iNcontroL wrote: I hate it when i sit at my computer and post on this forum when suddenly my dick launches out of my pants and makes me type incorrectly.. starts mashing ont h legnskzsnmklbf oh fuck there we go again.
/thread saved
|
On January 23 2009 04:38 {88}iNcontroL wrote: I hate it when i sit at my computer and post on this forum when suddenly my dick launches out of my pants and makes me type incorrectly.. starts mashing ont h legnskzsnmklbf oh fuck there we go again. That's why you need to grow a real one and not just put on the attachable one the doc. gave you... maybe you pressed the release button in your keyboard and it launched out as it did (easyness of disposal)
+ Show Spoiler +
|
On January 23 2009 04:58 EsX_Raptor wrote:Show nested quote +On January 23 2009 04:38 {88}iNcontroL wrote: I hate it when i sit at my computer and post on this forum when suddenly my dick launches out of my pants and makes me type incorrectly.. starts mashing ont h legnskzsnmklbf oh fuck there we go again. That's why you need to grow a real one and not just put on the attachable one the doc. gave you... maybe you pressed the release button in your keyboard and it launched out as it did (easyness of disposal) + Show Spoiler +
/facepalm
imo hes shitting in the urinal
|
maybe he grafted a horse penis onto his ass? yah never know
|
(quoting adam carolla)
Q: what do you do to prevent your dick from touching the water in the toilet? A: throw it over your shoulder
|
On January 23 2009 04:42 vGl-CoW wrote: hahaha imagine the horrified look on everyone's face when the venezuelan kid suddenly started taking a dump in the drinking fountain
LMAO
|
On January 23 2009 04:13 Too_MuchZerg wrote:
you have what, 20 inch dick?
|
i really think hes mistaken the urinal as a toilet
|
On January 23 2009 05:04 ritebkatya wrote: (quoting adam carolla)
Q: what do you do to prevent your dick from touching the water in the toilet? A: throw it over your shoulder
+1
|
lol I think I understand what the OP means some toilets have those ridiculously high things where your shit almost touches your ass after shitting. I just flush right away after shitting and wipe standing up. When you have a semi boner it gets tricky, you can just put the end your dick on the toilet seat in that case. Yes I've had my share of fucked up toilets. :/
|
such a lie, unless the toilet was like extremely clogged and the water was flowing up to the top theres no way your dick is 10"-12" flaccid.
|
On January 23 2009 05:14 Frits wrote: lol I think I understand what the OP means some toilets have those ridiculously high things where your shit almost touches your ass after shitting. I just flush right away after shitting and wipe standing up. When you have a semi boner it gets tricky, you can just put the end your dick on the toilet seat in that case. Yes I've had my share of fucked up toilets. :/ Finally some man that doesn't shit in his mother's bathroom!
|
On January 23 2009 05:14 Frits wrote: lol I think I understand what the OP means some toilets have those ridiculously high things where your shit almost touches your ass after shitting. I just flush right away after shitting and wipe standing up. When you have a semi boner it gets tricky, you can just put the end your dick on the toilet seat in that case. Yes I've had my share of fucked up toilets. :/
that is some fucked up shit
|
On January 23 2009 04:45 ahswtini wrote: "My penis is so long if you flop it across the keyboard, it'll reach from A all the way to Z." hope that isn't a qwerty keyboard.
|
|
Kentor
United States5784 Posts
|
|
This totally happens to me too, if I try to take a shit with a halfie. (With lots of different toilets, its not the toilet)
|
Yeah that title really grabs attention... I couldn't live without clicking it.
turns out, thread is full of win!
|
lol know the feeling closed the car door on it yesterday
|
iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
It's also a hassle when I have to ride in the back of my friend's car. Get my dick all over the windshield and what notafsldnbbbbbbbff
|
I hate when my dick touches the bottom of the pool when I go swimming
|
the worst by far is tripping over your dick i mean not only are you stepping on your own dick but then you fall on your face shit is just un--comfortable. embarassing too, on both accounts.
|
Yeah I know what you mean, I generally tape mine down the side of my leg down to my knee. It just sucks when the bitches have to rip the tape off of there, but I'm so manly and have so much hot sex with random bitches I don't even feel it anymore. -_- jesus.
I hate fail blogs like this. =( They end up so entertaining because of the replies, but really, the OP is the worst thing ever. It's as if the creator of this blog didn't expect this reaction.
Now if you'd excuse me I have to go feed my giant penis.
|
On January 23 2009 05:46 {88}iNcontroL wrote: It's also a hassle when I have to ride in the back of my friend's car. Get my dick all over the windshield and what notafsldnbbbbbbbff obv cancer replaced your dick.
|
I hate it when my dick's own gravitational field gets objects stuck on my dick. I have to shield my dick from loose nails every day.
|
nah this is bullshit the worst is stepping on it, so painful.
|
Pictures or it never happened.
+ Show Spoiler +NO, not of your dick. OF THE TOILET!
|
iNc I must say ur bein the biggest fagget right now ..ur my pal and I usually love ur posts.. but uve made a couple of attempts to start flaming war with OP and hes just laughing it off and not even starting shit... and u just keep postin random shit to start arguin about the size of his penis... obviously more than 75% of the people reading this are getting a laugh out of it..
Why the need to keep posting shit towards OP?
|
iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
You're right infested.
I'm being a giant dick. Oops I did it again.
|
On January 23 2009 06:08 {88}iNcontroL wrote: You're right infested.
I'm being a giant dick. Oops I did it again.
hahahaha
|
On January 23 2009 04:06 EsX_Raptor wrote: So I'm walking out of the cafeteria and felt like taking a dump. I go in, and just as I sit on the toilet seat my dick decides to dip into the water and I go "FUCK."
Honestly I swear there should be some sort of trick to help you avoid this crap, it doesn't happen with every toilet I sit on but with a good number of them it does and it pisses me off a lot.
I've tried throwing in some paper beforehand which kind of helps but when the time your shit's gotta come out happens it all just sits there on top of the paper and things get even worse.
Ever happened to you?
even if this did happen to you... can you really not figure out a way around it? just hold your dick or something. if you have to piss and shit just piss first then go shit...
|
On January 23 2009 05:44 MYM.Testie wrote: lol know the feeling closed the car door on it yesterday
Sort of the same idea as stomping on a water balloon huh?
|
On January 23 2009 06:20 Nitrogen wrote:Show nested quote +On January 23 2009 04:06 EsX_Raptor wrote: So I'm walking out of the cafeteria and felt like taking a dump. I go in, and just as I sit on the toilet seat my dick decides to dip into the water and I go "FUCK."
Honestly I swear there should be some sort of trick to help you avoid this crap, it doesn't happen with every toilet I sit on but with a good number of them it does and it pisses me off a lot.
I've tried throwing in some paper beforehand which kind of helps but when the time your shit's gotta come out happens it all just sits there on top of the paper and things get even worse.
Ever happened to you? even if this did happen to you... can you really not figure out a way around it? just hold your dick or something. if you have to piss and shit just piss first then go shit...
Maybe his dick is much longer than his arms that's why this is impossible for him to do...
|
Just throw your dick up over your shoulder like a scarf before you sit down and you'll avoid this problem.
|
On January 23 2009 04:13 Too_MuchZerg wrote: you have what, 20 inch dick?
|
you have a lot in common with this guy
|
United States12607 Posts
1/5
Stop bragging about your dick.
|
Hey guys, my penis is kinda big, just thought you all should know.
|
On January 23 2009 06:08 {88}iNcontroL wrote: You're right infested.
I'm being a giant dick. Oops I did it again.
HAHAHAHAHAHA THIS ONE MADE ME LAUGH
xD!
+ Show Spoiler +
^_^
|
|
Kennigit
Canada19447 Posts
hmm i wondered where Mynock had gone.
|
Hahaha.. maybe you should use a condom when you are taking a dump?
|
Try defecating while standing up.
|
|
rofl this is so dumb. The only way this is real is if you had a boner and pointed it down into the bowl lolol
|
On a related note, I hate when I take a shit and it splashes my rectum.
|
On January 23 2009 06:08 {88}iNcontroL wrote: You're right infested.
I'm being a giant dick. Oops I did it again.
gold
|
United States24351 Posts
On January 23 2009 04:28 {88}iNcontroL wrote: what a stupid fucking blog. OBVIOUSLY you are trying to fucking imply your dick is bigger than a fucking horse.
NOBODY takes a shit and gets their dick dipped in the water. That'd be like a 10 inch or bigger dick flaccid
fucking hell man. Wow you suddenly got very offensive eh. Covering anything up?
|
On January 23 2009 06:31 Licmyobelisk wrote:Show nested quote +On January 23 2009 06:20 Nitrogen wrote:On January 23 2009 04:06 EsX_Raptor wrote: So I'm walking out of the cafeteria and felt like taking a dump. I go in, and just as I sit on the toilet seat my dick decides to dip into the water and I go "FUCK."
Honestly I swear there should be some sort of trick to help you avoid this crap, it doesn't happen with every toilet I sit on but with a good number of them it does and it pisses me off a lot.
I've tried throwing in some paper beforehand which kind of helps but when the time your shit's gotta come out happens it all just sits there on top of the paper and things get even worse.
Ever happened to you? even if this did happen to you... can you really not figure out a way around it? just hold your dick or something. if you have to piss and shit just piss first then go shit... Maybe his dick is much longer than his arms that's why this is impossible for him to do...
so he's like a t rex is what you're saying...
|
I didn't know Dirk Diggler posted on TL.net......
+ Show Spoiler +Go watch Boogie Nights right now
|
|
I was so close to reading this thread in class, good thing I didn't because I'm am LMAO OMG!!!!
This is so ridiculous...
|
God I'm fucking crying right now, this is too good.
|
|
United States7488 Posts
I'm guessing you use one of these? I'd recommend strapping your penis to your stomach.
|
On January 23 2009 04:38 {88}iNcontroL wrote: I hate it when i sit at my computer and post on this forum when suddenly my dick launches out of my pants and makes me type incorrectly.. starts mashing ont h legnskzsnmklbf oh fuck there we go again. ahahaha
|
there are some toilets where the water level is insanely high i was overseas forgot where and i saw em
|
On January 23 2009 08:22 sperY wrote:This? If I walked in there, I think it would take me 5 minutes to figure out how the hell to position myself.
|
United States7488 Posts
My dick usually gets wet before I can get to the toilet. And then people look at me funny, like there is something wrong with people who wear wet pants.
|
That sucks, I have that problem all the time too. The absolute worst is when you're fucking some chick and then the tip of your dick knocks her eye out of its socket. Once the cops get there...ugh...
I remember when I was talking on a public phone one time and all of a sudden this goddamn bunch of kids decided to jump rope with it. I was so pissed.
|
Sperm sample? Damn, I would NOT want that job. Although I'm sure Heen would jump for it.
|
lol don't worry infested ;D its not like he's pissing me off or something ^^
That's why people go to a circus! It's funny to see him react, like when you use a laser pointer on a wall to play with a cat chasing it.
On a side note, I also hate it when im taking a dump and the water splashes my rectum -.- its so damn cold.
|
On January 23 2009 09:11 EsX_Raptor wrote: lol don't worry infested ;D its not like he's pissing me off or something ^^
That's why people go to a circus! It's funny to see him react, like when you use a laser pointer on a wall to play with a cat chasing it.
On a side note, I also hate it when im taking a dump and the water splashes my rectum -.- its so damn cold.
i think it is bothering you, you just pretend you don't care. you now know it was dumb to make this blog and you are trying to handle the situation by putting on the facade that it doesn't matter to you.
p.s. my cat hates laser points and he runs away from them.
|
lol dumb? I would make another one!!
I mean, tell me, how does it affect me at all?
It's not like I'm some sort of mod or whatever XD there's some life we live out here too you know
|
see, you're just doing it again. also you replied very quickly so i'm going to bet you're constantly f5ing in the blogs section so you can defend yourself by saying you don't care as soon as someone posts how dumb this is.
|
|
lol you havent answered my question yet, how does it affect me?
Maybe it's because I have a low post count or I just simply have a life, I really don't give a fuck what people in here think no joke else I would've never done this:
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=76495
My fast answers = I got nothing to do atm, just came from the university, but yours?
|
hehehe i love it when people always talk about how they have lives and other people who go to the website don't... always gives me a good laugh.
and i'm sure you're still justifying your blog by saying you don't care how other people view you. and i'm not even going to answer that how does it affect you question, because you're just going to do the same thing and talk about how you have a life and you don't care about how people think of you on the internet.
|
Lol I would love for you to quote my posts and please highlight in bold where do I say no one else in here has a life.
No, I wasn't going to repeat the same thing for the fact that it is already posted up there.
Unlike you who is constantly trying to foresee what are my intentions and what I'm about to do XD
|
its an unsolvable problem, if you lift it up and avoid getting it wet you will pee on the floor when you take a shit (chaces are unless you are some inhuman person that doesnt have a bladder). if you let it hang it might fall in the water.
The solution: get a booster toilet attachment for 3 payments of 49.95. If you order now i will include a juicer that can cut up iron blocks with ease and slive through diamonds in minutes,. Free S + H with a 50$ surcharge.
|
When does it cum, i mean come??? =D
|
On January 23 2009 09:58 EsX_Raptor wrote: Lol I would love for you to quote my posts and please highlight in bold where do I say no one else in here has a life.
No, I wasn't going to repeat the same thing for the fact that it is already posted up there.
Unlike you who is constantly trying to foresee what are my intentions and what I'm about to do XD
err i didn't mean that no one here has a life, it's just that you're going to use that argument, you just started leading into it with your whole "i just simply have a life."
i just assumed you were going to post the same thing because you have been doing it for the whole thread.
On January 23 2009 10:05 EsX_Raptor wrote: When does it cum, i mean come??? =D
dear god...
|
On January 23 2009 10:03 Hypnosis wrote: its an unsolvable problem, if you lift it up and avoid getting it wet you will pee on the floor when you take a shit (chaces are unless you are some inhuman person that doesnt have a bladder). if you let it hang it might fall in the water.
The solution: get a booster toilet attachment for 3 payments of 49.95. If you order now i will include a juicer that can cut up iron blocks with ease and slive through diamonds in minutes,. Free S + H with a 50$ surcharge. god
is it really so hard for you people?
tuck and aim it downwards
honestly, this never occured to anyone who's had the problem?
|
thank you thank you nitrogen i finally see the light, now my mind is refreshed and changed, i will live my life now happily and regret the moment i made this blog for the rest of my days, because of those wise words i just read on some gaming site with a blog about dicks, i bet many people have changed because of this and were never the same, even though they really didn't portray their real personality on here, like 99.99% of the people on the planet who have an e-identity, but still we think that's how they are and thus draw conclusions and write thousands of pages worth of pointless arguments just for the sake of doing so with no real goal of any sort, but yes PLEASE EVERYBODY LOOK AT ME, I JUST GOT IN AN ARGUMENT WITH NITROGEN AND I CAN ANSWER HIM EVERY SINGLE THING HE SAYS WITH WHATEVER JUST COMES INTO MY MIND... let me try it again: hmm...
See what I mean? You're always trying to predict what I'm doing and what I'm going to do and what have I done, but thanks for telling me you were assuming i was going to say it again, this way I will be reminded of it and do it! =D
I DID IT AGAIN! HAHAHAAHAHAHA...
man internet arguing is so ez
|
On January 23 2009 10:15 EsX_Raptor wrote: thank you thank you nitrogen i finally see the light, now my mind is refreshed and changed, i will live my life now happily and regret the moment i made this blog for the rest of my days, because of those wise words i just read on some gaming site with a blog about dicks, i bet many people have changed because of this and were never the same, even though they really didn't portray their real personality on here, like 99.99% of the people on the planet who have an e-identity, but still we think that's how they are and thus draw conclusions and write thousands of pages worth of pointless arguments just for the sake of doing so with no real goal of any sort, but yes PLEASE EVERYBODY LOOK AT ME, I JUST GOT IN AN ARGUMENT WITH NITROGEN AND I CAN ANSWER HIM EVERY SINGLE THING HE SAYS WITH WHATEVER JUST COMES INTO MY MIND... let me try it again: hmm...
See what I mean? You're always trying to predict what I'm doing and what I'm going to do and what have I done, but thanks for telling me you were assuming i was going to say it again, this way I will be reminded of it and do it! =D
I DID IT AGAIN! HAHAHAAHAHAHA...
man internet arguing is so ez
the thing is... we both know you would have kept on doing it because you've been doing it for this entire thread, until i called you on it and you stopped. looks like my job here is done.
|
Guys this thread doesn't affect me at all, I have a life you know...
wait... nitrogen, what did you just say? o,o
|
Snet
United States3573 Posts
lmao @ all your blogs turning into flame wars
troll 2 tl 0
|
dip..... INTO THE WATER. hahaha. i cant stop laughing. wow i love TL blogs.
|
I thought this blog was hilarious until it turned into flames...
-sadface-
|
I don't even know what the hell went up his mind tbh o,o its like he got pissed about this thread.
|
Ah... Flame Liquid as usual.
The blog was a little retarded but funny and entertaining nonetheless, especially with some of the answers, but it seems people cant just have fun without fucking others.
I guess is ok... As long as you have +1500 messages.
|
United States7488 Posts
On January 23 2009 10:57 CrimsonLotus wrote: Ah... Flame Liquid as usual.
The blog was a little retarded but funny and entertaining nonetheless, especially with some of the answers, but it seems people cant just have fun without fucking others.
I guess is ok... As long as you have +1500 messages. No... that doesn't make it ok
|
Baa?21242 Posts
This blog gets funnier the more I read it. 5/5.
|
it's just that i really don't understand the point of this blog. can he really not figure out how to let his dick not touch the water? just piss first if you have to, then take a shit. or just tuck your dick backwards into the toilet. i'm pretty sure most people can figure out how to do this... then he had another reason to make this blog. (assuming he's not that stupid, which i doubt he is) he's just trolling and typing up random shit... but he stopped using the same thing over and over again so it's all good... except after reading this he'll just start again.
+ Show Spoiler +when i predict things it upsets him
|
|
Snet
United States3573 Posts
On January 23 2009 11:22 Nitrogen wrote:it's just that i really don't understand the point of this blog. can he really not figure out how to let his dick not touch the water? just piss first if you have to, then take a shit. or just tuck your dick backwards into the toilet. i'm pretty sure most people can figure out how to do this... then he had another reason to make this blog. (assuming he's not that stupid, which i doubt he is) he's just trolling and typing up random shit... but he stopped using the same thing over and over again so it's all good... except after reading this he'll just start again. + Show Spoiler +when i predict things it upsets him
serious business imo
|
+1 to serious business
it's entertaining enough, who cares about the motive?
|
Calgary25942 Posts
People love to masspost in retarded threads...
|
|
|
|