How is my team getting on? Who’s winning this week? Will the other players be jealous of him? How can I have a team that has arch nemeses on it without them undermining one another’s performances? Should I take Clyde just because Artosis loves him and the publicity would be immense?
Life for the dedicated fantasy league manager is difficult. There is the feeling of constantly walking a thin line between the position of players like mrbamboo (winner of this season’s Fantasy GSTL) and myself (winner of this season’s Fantasy GSTL Fan-Fiction). That said, the Fantasy GSTL is past us now, and it’s time for us to consider something a little different. With that in mind, I’m unveiling a game I’ve been working on for some time now. In the same vein as the Team Liquid Blog Ladder:
The rules are straightforward; players are given a set number of points from which to assemble the ultimate mod staff. Players will then earn points on the strengths and weaknesses of mod actions made by their players (with a bonus provided for those mods elected as Team Captains).
For the moment, everything is coming along nicely. Each staff member will earn you points to the tune of:
Thread Closed +1
Temp Ban +1
Lengthy Ban (greater than thirty days) +2
Permanent Ban +3
Banned Progamer +5
Temp Ban +1
Lengthy Ban (greater than thirty days) +2
Permanent Ban +3
Banned Progamer +5
For reference, here’s a quick look at how my team has been performing in the prestigious TeamLiquid Fantasy Mod Staff [BETA]™:
If anyone is wondering why I’m ranked so low in the closed beta of a game I myself designed, playing against the real mod staff means they know what they’re doing. Heyoka is a shark
Special points will be awarded when mods perform signature moves. For the moment, it will be better to keep those quiet; it should be more interesting to let people feel their team out a bit and see what they’re getting bonus points for. For the moment, suffice it to say that there are some obvious ones you can expect to see when you’re building your team:
Chill
Every time Chill posts in a stereotypical girl blog +1 point
Every time Chill posts in a stereotypical girl blog +1 point
Manifesto7
Given his outrageous numbers, bans from Manifesto7 are worth half their regular value. All other mod actions are worth double
Given his outrageous numbers, bans from Manifesto7 are worth half their regular value. All other mod actions are worth double
Milkis
Every time someone mistakenly confuses ace translator Milkis for fomer GomTV Code A caster Kelly Milkies, you gain +1
Every time someone mistakenly confuses ace translator Milkis for fomer GomTV Code A caster Kelly Milkies, you gain +1
Hot Bid
Every time Hot Bid appears in a photograph unexpectedly, gain +1
If you were the photographer +3
If the photo was of you +5
Every time Hot Bid appears in a photograph unexpectedly, gain +1
If you were the photographer +3
If the photo was of you +5
Heyoka
Every time Heyoka successfully uses a poetic device in a news post +1
Every spelling or punctuation error you discover in a post by Heyoka -1
Every time Heyoka successfully uses a poetic device in a news post +1
Every spelling or punctuation error you discover in a post by Heyoka -1
Flamewheel
Every time Flamewheel is caught cheating in Mafia +1
Every time Flamewheel is caught cheating in Mafia +1
Riptide
Every time Riptide makes an oblique Shakespeare reference and nobody gets it +1
Every time Riptide makes an oblique Shakespeare reference and nobody gets it +1
Closing
By way of conclusion, I understand that there are plenty of you out there who won’t want to just go into this blind. Some of you will want to hit up the biggest list of statistics you can get your hands on and start researching exactly how to best pick your own fantasy mod staff.
That instinct is strong, but it’s also well catered for. Simply consult the always impressive and comprehensive:
Marvel at the extensive charts, graphs and leader boards, then direct all your thanks and praise to Spazer, whose dedication is beyond doubt.
+ Show Spoiler +
I really wanted to have Nyovne or Manifesto7 on my team, but they were waaaay too expensive... look at that zeal:
If anyone can suggest custom rules for other members of the staff, this will go an awful lot faster.
+ Show Spoiler +
Have to say thanks to the people who precipitated this post and contributed to it. Flamewheel, GHOSTCLAW, Probe1, and maybe some others.